When she pulled up to her parents’ house, Maya was surprised to see so many cars parked along the road and in the drive. How had her parents managed to get so many people out here to help on such short notice? She wouldn’t complain.
She heard voices coming both from inside the house and out back and decided to try there first. Maybe she could find something to help with there so she wouldn’t have to expose Joey to a serious mess of dust, dirt and noise.
Turning the corner, she stopped short.
There, working with Cort to secure a long support beam in place, was Sawyer.
Sawyer finished pounding a nail into the heavy pine beam Cort was holding steady for him. When he was done, he glanced down to see Maya, Joey in her arms, watching him from the foot of the ladder with an expression that said she wasn’t quite sure how, or even if, she should approach him.
A twinge of guilt jabbed at him because he knew her hesitancy was his fault. After the fiasco at the picnic he’d been keeping everyone at arm’s length, including her. He’d then spent a miserable last week trying to decide if he should make the break with Maya permanent. If he couldn’t be everything she and Joey needed, then it was better to end it now, before Joey got any older and too attached and Sawyer ended up hurting both Joey and Maya.
So why did breaking up with Maya feel so wrong? All his life failure had not been an option. But he realized now success was easy when it was only about himself. With Maya and Joey to consider the stakes were much higher. Until his grandparents reminded him how little he had to offer Maya and Joey, he’d been giving it his best. But for the first time in his life he couldn’t shake the fear that his best might not be good enough.
“This is a surprise,” she said lightly when she caught his eye. “How did you guys find out about this?”
Sawyer jammed his hammer into his leather construction belt. He didn’t tell her he’d almost made some excuse not to come today because seeing her would only intensify his need to be with her no matter what the consequences. Looking at her now, he knew he’d been right.
“The town crier, of course—otherwise known as Val,” he answered finally. He spied the object of his accusation kissing Paul goodbye at the back door.
Maya shook her head. “I knew she couldn’t keep quiet. She told me yesterday she’d have to leave early. She has to take the twins to a ballet practice. Paul said he could stay a few hours, though.”
“He was the one who told me about the rebuilding party,” Cort said, looking down at the odd array of helpers scattered around. “I couldn’t resist joining the circus. Besides—” he flashed her a grin “—I can’t let them tear down the love shack. My best high school memory was made here.”
“Do I want to know?”
“Let’s just say I finally got to see Nova Vargas’s tattoo.”
Maya laughed. “And all this time I thought you were a good boy.”
“Define good,” Cort said with a wink.
Sawyer looked from Maya to his brother wondering what the hell Cort was playing at. If he didn’t know Cort better, he’d say his brother was flirting with her.
“Well, whatever your reasons, I really appreciate the both of you coming out,” Maya said as Sawyer and Cort both began backing down their ladders.
Joey squealed and waved his hands when he saw Sawyer. Sawyer waved back. “Hey, there, big guy. You’ll have to wait a few years to climb up here.”
“Those years will be gone before you know it,” Cort said.
Sawyer stopped halfway down the ladder, turned and scowled at his brother, not bothering to bank his irritation. “You have something to say to me?”
Cort shrugged, suddenly the picture of innocence. “Don’t get your feathers up. Everyone knows kids grow like weeds, that’s all.” He beat Sawyer to the ground, hopping backward off the last three rungs.
When Sawyer reached the bottom, Maya hesitated before moving closer and lightly touching his arm. She looked at him with her heart in her eyes, as if there was so much she wanted to say. “This means a lot to me. And to my parents, too.”
Without meaning to, Sawyer stiffened a little, her simple touch evoking so many recent memories, a disturbing combination of pleasure and pain. “No problem,” he said, not meaning to sound as gruff as he knew he had.
Maya immediately pulled away. She lowered her eyes, but not before Sawyer saw the confused hurt there.
From his lifted brow, Cort had seen it, too, and Sawyer could hear his brother’s unspoken question.
“Well, I’ll let you get back to work,” Maya said, backing up a few steps. “I saw the list the inspector sent and it’s going to take nothing short of a miracle to whip this place into shape before the deadline. So I’d better make myself useful.”
Cort shot Sawyer an irritated glance. “Don’t worry, we won’t let your parents get kicked out. We’ll have this place in shape in no time.” When Sawyer said nothing, Cort nudged him. “Won’t we, Sawyer?”
“Yeah, sure. It’ll get done, don’t worry.”
“Well, you’ve certainly inspired me,” Cort said, rolling his eyes at Maya.
She made an attempt to smile. “Let me know if you need anything. I’m going to see how things are inside.”
“If you want to end it with her, why don’t you just say so?” Cort asked Sawyer after Maya had gone into the house.
“So you can step in and take my place?” Sawyer snapped back without thinking. He regretted it an instant later when Cort grinned wickedly.
“What’s the matter, big brother? Jealous?”
Sawyer didn’t bother answering, instead hefting another support beam up against the house and starting back up his ladder. Jealous was right—of the easy banter between Maya and his brother, even though he knew Cort had deliberately turned on the charm with Maya just to get a rise out of him.
He decided to try to ignore Cort, and they worked in virtual silence for over an hour until Azure came out back carrying a tray laden with paper cups and a plate of questionable-looking cookies. “Okay, everybody, time for a ginger-tea-and-soy-nut-butter-cookie break,” she called to everyone in hearing range.
“Soybean cookies,” Cort muttered. “My favorite.”
“I took precautions,” Sawyer said, keeping his voice low as he came off the ladder for a break. “Beer’s in the cooler in my truck.”
Several other volunteer workers gathered around Azure to grab a cup and cookies. But he and Cort weren’t the only ones less than enthusiastic about soybean cookies and tea, because a few minutes later a scruffy, tattooed bald guy in biker leather lugged in a big cooler filled with beer.
He plunked the cooler down near Azure with a broad smile. “Az, I love you dearly,” he said, kissing her on the forehead, “but I’d rather eat broken glass than drink that stuff.” He grabbed up a can, popped the tab and held the can high. “Anyone else for a brew?”
A couple of the men took him up on the offer. Laughing, Shem strode over to Azure and draped an arm over her shoulders. “I’ll take their shares,” he said and downed several cups of the pungent tea in quick succession. “No one makes it like you do, honey. You always know just what I need.”
Azure beamed up at him, stretching to kiss his unshaven cheek. “I know my man. Come on, Maya,” she called out, gesturing. “There’s plenty.”
Sawyer turned instinctively in the direction of Azure’s wave to see Maya come out of the house with Joey. She met his eyes, then quickly shifted her attention to her parents, smiling at her mother and accepting a cup of tea.
Watching the three of them together with Joey, Sawyer could feel the strength of the bond between them. It was obvious Shem and Azure adored each other even after all the years together. And it was equally obvious they loved Maya and Joey. Maya’s face when she was with them said clearly she was secure in the knowledge she was loved. Unconditionally. As he knew Joey would be.
They made it look so easy. But could it really be that simple?
“They know what they’re doing,” Cort said quietly.
“Yeah, they do.” He watched Shem tickle under Joey’s chin, making both Maya and Joey laugh. “No wonder Maya’s such a great mom. Her parents may be weird, but you know, they’re the real thing.”
“Actually I wouldn’t know,” Cort said dryly. “We’ve always been a little short on the real thing when it comes to parents and grandparents.” He paused, then added, “But it doesn’t mean you can’t have it now.”
“Dammit, Cort, don’t start. Not today.” Sawyer yanked out his hammer and started back up the ladder again. “I’m not in the mood for another lecture about Garrett.”
“I wasn’t talking about Garrett.”
Sawyer stopped and looked down. “Then what? Whatever it is, spit it out. I can tell you’ve had something on your mind all day.”
Cort climbed up his ladder to look at Sawyer eye to eye. “Contrary to your hostile interpretation of my motives, I never had in mind for you and me and Garrett to be reunited and morph into a loving family.”
Sawyer headed to the top of the ladder, Cort at his heels. “Just get to the point,” he said.
“The point is, you could have what the Rainbows have. With Maya.”
Almost of their own volition, Sawyer’s eyes went to Maya standing with her family and laughing with Azure at Shem’s antics to amuse Joey. “Just for argument’s sake, what makes you think she wants that with me? She’s made it clear from the beginning she doesn’t need me to take care of her and Joey.”
“So?” Cort shook his head. “Not everyone needs to be rescued, Sawyer.”
“And my idea of a relationship is me running to the rescue, is that what you’re saying?”
“I don’t know,” Cort said with a shrug, “Is it?”
Sawyer made an exasperated sound. “Stick to being a detective, Cort. The psychiatrist’s hat doesn’t fit you.”
“Clues are clues,” Cort said. “So think about this. Maya loves her parents but I doubt she wants to be like them, especially when it comes to raising her kid. Coming back here pregnant and unmarried, with everyone knowing what her parents are like—that had to be tough. You should be proud of her for wanting to stand on her own.”
“I am and she knows it,” Sawyer said. “She’s done an amazing job of pulling her life together.”
“Well, that’s a start.” Cort reached over and put a hand on Sawyer’s shoulder. “But have you told her you love her?”
Sawyer jerked back, nearly dropping his hammer. He glared at his brother. “That’s none of your business.”
“So you haven’t,” Cort said casually. “Didn’t think so.” He let go of Sawyer’s shoulder and hoisted a beam from the makeshift scaffolding it had been resting on to push it up to the roof.
Sawyer swiped a nail from his pouch and slammed it into the beam. “This is all leading up to another discussion about Garrett, isn’t it? You might as well give it up because I don’t believe any of that psychobabble bull about dissecting your past. What good is it going to do?”
Cort shifted his hold on the beam, straightening the angle. “You’ll never know, will you?”
“No. And I don’t need to. Maya’s and my relationship has nothing to do with Garrett.”
“Whatever you say, bro. It’s your call.”
“Since when?” Sawyer muttered. But Cort seemed to have lost interest in the subject and was apparently focused on the job at hand.
Not that Sawyer believed Cort had given up on trying to convince him to meet with Garrett. But for some reason his brother was pushing him on a new issue—his relationship with Maya. That was all he needed, Cort sticking his nose into his personal life.
He slammed another nail into the wood and reached into his pouch for another, then stopped, distracted by the soft sound of singing.
Several yards away, Maya, her hair tied up in a blue bandanna, was busy sweeping up construction waste into a pile. She’d put Joey on a quilt under a tree with another of Azure’s mobiles to keep him happy as she worked around him, singing to him. The sweet sight of her grabbed his heart and held him transfixed.
At the same time Cort’s question haunted him. But have you told her you love her?
Did he love her? His heart gave him the answer his mind had tried so hard to ignore. He’d been calling it passion and concern and empathy. Anything but love.
Because he did love her.
She and Joey were the best things that had ever happened to him.
If only he could be the same for them.
“It’s quittin’ time!” Shem called out over the noisy hum of saws, drills and hammers. “There’s a roasted pig out back with our names on it.”
Sawyer glanced out the new front window. The sun had already begun its slow, salmon-rayed descent behind the mountains. He’d been so lost in his own thoughts all day, time had slipped away. He turned to where Cort was packing up his tool-box. “I don’t know about you, but I could use a break.”
“Yeah, but I can’t stay,” Cort said. “Not that I wouldn’t want to join the lovefest, but I have some paperwork to catch up on before tomorrow.”
Maya came over to them, two cold beers in hand. “I snagged these for you,” she said, handing them the icy cans, avoiding looking directly at Sawyer as she did. “You’re staying for the barbecue and bonfire, aren’t you?” When they looked at each other, doubtful, she added, “We’re having meat, I promise. And potatoes and corn and coleslaw. Normal food. I took control of the menu today.”
Sawyer laughed. “You mean you’re sacrificing the pig?”
“No,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “That was Diego’s doing. I don’t even want to know how or where he got it. Apparently he’s been marinating it for two days in beer. He tells me it’s supposed to make the meat tender, but I’m thinking it was just an excuse to buy extra beer.”
Cort downed his drink. “Actually I’ve had roasted pig that way before. It’s terrific.”
“Great, then you’re staying.”
“Unfortunately I can’t. Like I told Sawyer, I let a lot paperwork go today to be here. If it’s not done by tomorrow, the boss’ll have my hide.”
“We’ll miss you,” Maya said with a smile. She reached out and hugged him. “Thanks for everything you did today. I think this is the best this house has ever looked. The building inspector should be impressed.”
“Let’s hope so. Well, enjoy the pagan feast. I’ve got a date with a computer.” He turned to Sawyer. “We ought to work together more often. Think of all the interesting things we’d learn about each other.”
“I think you’ve learned enough interesting things about me.”
“Good. Then it’s about time you figured me out.” Cort slipped Maya a wink and a smile, then headed for the front door. “Tell your folks thanks and ask them for a rain check on the pig, would you?” he called back to her over his shoulder.
When they were alone, Sawyer finished his beer and tossed the can into a garbage pile. Maya went over and fished it out.
“Recycle, right. I forgot,” he said.
She looked at him fully for the first time and said softly, “No one’s perfect.”
Despite the bustle of people cleaning up around them, Sawyer suddenly couldn’t see or hear anyone but Maya. He nearly moved to take her in his arms but checked himself. “And what if someone’s really imperfect?” he asked.
She smiled and he could see her heart in her eyes, offering him everything he needed—faith, acceptance, passion. Love. “All the more reason to love him,” she said.
Sawyer gave up trying to keep any distance between them. He pulled her in his arms, needing to feel her as close as he could get her. How could he have ever thought leaving her would make things right? “I’ve been an idiot.”
“You won’t get any argument from me.” She pulled back a little to look him in the eye. “I was starting to believe we were over.”
“I was starting to believe that would be the best thing for all of us.”
“And now?”
“Now I still don’t know what the best thing is. I only know I don’t want to be without you. I never want to do anything to push you away. Earlier—” he gave a short laugh, almost embarrassed to admit it to her “—I thought I was pushing you at Cort.”
Maya reached up and brushed his lips with hers. “Cort who?” she whispered against his mouth, punctuating her words with a kiss full of longing and passion.
Sawyer kissed her back almost desperately, consuming her lips, her mouth in his, aching with need for the feel of her body against his, to know she was truly there with him, for him.
“Okay, that’s enough of that.” Azure’s voice abruptly broke the spell. She bent close to the baby in her arms. “Close your eyes, Joey, you’re too young for this. And you two, there’ll be plenty of time for that later,” she said, smiling broadly as Sawyer reluctantly released Maya. “Right now I need help carrying food. We’ll eat while there’s still light, then we’ll start the bonfire.”
Joey squirmed and reached out for Sawyer, making him smile. “Hey, there, buddy, I missed you, too.” He took Joey from Azure, earning him a big toothless grin.
“Things are right now,” Azure said, looking happily from Sawyer and Joey to Maya.
“So, did Tai and Diego bring their guitars?” Maya asked.
Azure nodded. “And you know your dad had to dig his out, too. And Patia brought her flute and Spring has her tambourine.”
“I guess I can expect a sing-along around the campfire,” Sawyer said.
Maya and Azure looked at each other and laughed. “What’s the matter?” Maya teased. “Don’t you know any campfire songs?”
“Don’t worry,” Azure told him in a confidential whisper, leaning on his arm for a moment. “Shem doesn’t either, so he just makes them up as he goes along.”
With a last kiss for Joey she turned and started for the kitchen. Sawyer shifted Joey on his hip and put an arm around Maya, holding the both of them close to him. “Your family’s all right, you know?”
Maya smiled up at him. “I know.”
“Right now I feel closer to you than I ever have.”
It was true, and suddenly he wanted to tell her everything—how much he needed and wanted her. How much he loved her. How he could make it right somehow. But it would never be right if he lost her. “Maya—”
“I’m glad of that, too, that you want us to be together,” she said before he could begin. “I missed you so much this week.” She abruptly yawned, then looked at him sheepishly. “Sorry. I really want to talk, but it’s been such a long day and I haven’t been sleeping too well lately.”
Sawyer hugged her close. “I know. Me neither. Let me take you and Joey home. We can come get your car in the morning.”
“That sounds like heaven,” she said. “I’m all yours.” And with a dramatically playful wave of her arm she added, “Take me away.”
Maya left Sawyer waiting in her living room while she nursed Joey and tucked him in. When she finished, she found him standing by the fireplace, staring into the empty grate. She’d left the lamps off and instead had lit a few candles on the mantel and on a table near the couch, and in the dim light she couldn’t see what was in his eyes.
“Sawyer?” she said softly, coming up to touch his shoulder. “I’m awake now.”
He started and she wondered why he was so tense. Not tense as in anticipation, but on edge. “Oh, hi. Is Joey asleep?”
“Mmm. Like the angel he is.” Comfortable now in her T-shirt and girl boxers, she took his hand and tugged him to the couch to sit next to her. “Nursing helped wake me up. But you must be exhausted.”
“What? No, not really.”
He seemed a thousand miles away. Gently she reached over and began to rub his shoulders. “Thank you again for your help today.”
Sawyer reached up and drew her hands away, holding them in his. “No, I should be thanking you.”
She smiled, puzzled by his odd mood. “For what?”
“For being who you are.”
“I—I don’t know what to say.” Maya hesitated as she tried to figure him out. “Sawyer, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. I just—” He stopped, searching her eyes. Then in a rush he said, “Say yes.”
“Yes? Yes to what?”
Sawyer gripped her hands tightly. “Say yes to becoming my wife. Maya, will you marry me?”