Afterword
“Marriage has the power to set the course of your life.”
So says author and pastor Timothy Keller. We think he is right; in fact, that is why we’ve shared the story of our three decades together. We’ve opened our hearts to you in the hope that you and your spouse will strive for an uncommon marriage, too, whether you’ve been married forty years like Timothy and Kathy Keller or are newlyweds, like our family friends Brad and Sandy (Moran) Pulles. As you know from our story, an uncommon marriage isn’t a perfect one; it’s simply the union of a man and a woman who commit to staying together and to following God’s leading as He shows them how to love and serve one another a little better every day.
We’ve been through a lot, it seems. Many of our memories are wonderful, but those have been mixed with some really tough times. We’ve lived all of it together, sometimes seeing eye to eye from the outset; sometimes asking God to help us see it with the other’s eyes. And knowing that building a marriage partnership is beyond us, we’ve always leaned on God for guidance.
Through all those experiences, we’ve hung on to two simple thoughts: first, that giving up on our marriage was never an option; and, second, we have to keep learning and applying biblical principles throughout the journey. We’re not done learning. Some lessons came more easily than others. Some truths God is still unfolding for us.
Although we’ve told our story through the chronology of our three-decade-long marriage, we thought it might be interesting to examine our marriage in another way —by determining which biblical principles have continued to crop up in our life together. Therefore, in the appendix that follows, you’ll find a list of “core principles” that we’ve pulled from the stories in this book. This is not meant to be an exhaustive list; God may have other biblical lessons for you that aren’t on our list. These are the principles, though, that have guided us. Each is linked to a passage of Scripture that spoke to us, as well as to a relevant chapter of our story.
We pray that our list provides specific takeaways for your marriage. You might even use it as a springboard for discussion about some ways you and your spouse might draw closer together. Whether you’re on rock solid footing with each other or the two of you are struggling to hold on, we pray that our story and our core principles encourage you to hang in there —together —while remembering that you don’t need to do life alone. Never forget that the Lord walks beside you.
All the way.
Walk in Victory