That was the dry summer. Shoals of salmon and sea trout arrived to cruise by the mouths of the burns. Fish jumped often, trying to shake off the sea-lice. These would fall off, soon after the migratory fish entered the fresh water systems. But the fish couldn’t run the burns because there was hardly any water.

We rowed guests across the bay and they cast teams of gaudy flies. The sea trout fins would follow the lures but the fish wouldn’t take. The visitors, English, French, German and Austrian groups, were paying plenty for wild fishing. Soon it would be the stalking season and still the fish hadn’t been able to run. The seals were cruising across Loch Shell, taking their pick.

I found out that I could use my fly rod like coarse-fishing tackle. I could put a small float and a hook with a worm on and let it go from the burn into the sea. There would still be traces of the fresh water, enticing the fish in. The float would dive and I’d hit a fish of two to three pounds. It would jump and I’d take a long time to get it ashore. There were rocks with bladderwrack and kelp at the edge and the mouths of the fish were very soft. I lost a few and landed a few. You had to be careful, hitting the thick head on a rock because they were so lively. The speckles and spots continue deeper into the flank than those on a salmon. And you don’t feel the bone in the tail the same way, so they’re difficult to keep a hold of.

They took them from me for the kitchen. They’d go in the freeze for the next guests. We had the salmon we’d netted, for this week. Then they saw my tackle at the end of my rod. I didn’t try to hide it. They never spoke to me directly. That’s not how things were done. They got Colin to tell me, the owner was not too happy with the fishing method so it was back to fly-only from now on. The guests would get angry. Or jealous.

So at the end of the week I asked for my sea trout to take in town. One for the folks and one to bring round to my uncle’s. Sheena wasn’t keeping that well. The owner wasn’t used to you talking to him direct. He didn’t put up much resistance.

He shot a seal from an upstairs bedroom. Colin said he was very proud of the shot. Bad news. The owner had noticed me swimming the other night. When I’d stayed underwater quite a long time, looking for scallops till I got the shivers.

The three of us went out in the estate launch. I thought it was a poaching patrol and I’d need to stay away from the Island for a while when the word got out. But no, the cove himself had another idea. He handed me a rope. He’d taken a bearing of where that seal was hit. He was sure he’d got it and it sank. It wasn’t deep and it was about Low Water, now. If I got a line to it, that would feed all the dogs for weeks.

But Colin tipped me a nod which said, don’t you bloody dare find it. The stink of boiling up that thing would choke us all. A very eloquent nod. The carcass was deeper than I thought and I got scared in the kelp anyway. That could have influenced the decision to run with Colin’s wishes and not those of the boss.

And then it was the stalking. I thought I’d be rowing fishermen around all summer and into September. But then a new lot of guests were being taken down to the bay. There was a rusting steel shape, cut to the rough shape of a deer, a good distance off. Target practice. The guests thought they were checking the sights of their guns. Colin was checking how close he’d have to take them, so they wouldn’t just wound a beast. I didn’t know I’d be expected to lead a pony into the slopes around Ben Mor and hold it till a stag, still warm, was strapped on its back.

The old Eriskay pony was fine. She was used to it. Colin warned me that the young Highland – a heavier animal, might panic when he smelled the blood. I’d to take the pony close when I heard the shot or saw smoke from a small heather fire.

I’d been present when a wedder was killed in the byre, the week before and I’d seen the innards of sheep and cattle often enough in the slaughterhouse at Westview.

This time, after the shot, Colin rubbed his hand across my face – I took a step back and then realised he’d smeared the blood of the deer on me. Like my uncle did once with the thick slop of the peat-bank when we were bantering, near the end of the day.

Archie did rear up, when the carcass was put on his back. I’d been warned to dig my heels in and let him turn the circle. Talk quietly to him. I did that and it worked. He carried the stag after that.

It was all sweat and smell and warm close weather. I hadn’t even brought a thick gensey. Next thing, it all just went black and this cloud dumped its hard hail on us. We couldn’t believe it, kicking it on the ground to check. Then my teeth were chattering. I was hugging myself and beating my elbows trying to get some heat. Then, before we were back at the Lodge, the air was warm again.

I was looking forward to the venison, a change from lamb and salmon, but Colin told me these people hang it for quite a long time. But we’d get a fry-up of the liver for our breakfast tomorrow.

At the end of the day I found my new boots weren’t quite broken in. I got a plaster for the blister but Colin said he’d find me another job – he needed me fit for later in the week – they’d be working the high ground.

I wasn’t too bothered because I liked weeding and grass cutting, inside the walled garden. No-one bothered you. But the owner showed me the boilers inside the dog pens, where they used to cook up offal and seal meat. He was carrying the head of the stag we’d killed. It wasn’t much of a head but the guest wanted a trophy – the skull with the horns. So all traces of the meat and hair would have to be scoured.

I don’t mind the smell of game cooking. But that wasn’t much of a job. I’d to keep going back to it, topping up the fire from waste and rotten timber. The eyes were a good indicator. When they’d fallen out.

Sometimes we’d row a bit then start the outboard in a dinghy and get some mackerel or lythe. They’re common fish but they’re still fine to look at. The zig-zag pattern on the back of the mackerel can shift from deep green to indigo to black. There’s a lot of colour on the flanks below that when they’re fresh. The lythe has a bronze sheen and the lateral line takes a dip. It’s broken, like the trace of an old track on the moor. The sea-fish were a change of diet. We hit big shoals one night. I was for stopping when the blood and beat of the tails was up over our boots but Colin said no. Fill a few boxes and we’ll salt them for pot-bait.

They just went in whole into plastic tubs with plenty rough salt. I found an old wooden firkin and put it aside. My own share of the catch. I was up till the early hours. I’d seen village guys do this, when I was out at Holm Point with Kenny. One guy on the long bamboo pole. The other splitting and gutting the fish as they came in and packing them in layers of salt. There and then. Going home with the firkin full of salt fish. They’d a way of carrying it too. Efficient.

It was just about September and still warm and dry. But it was almost true dark again. I scrubbed at the smell for a while, in the shower and then slept sound.

I’d to come back to the Lodge to collect my gear. It was a break from all the rounds of people coming to the house to offer sympathy. There wasn’t really anything to be said but there’s a way of doing things. My mother told me to try to make a day of it. Get out a walk or cast a line before I took my stuff back. It would do me good to get out and she was going for a hurl with my sister. Kirsty was able to stay at home for another few days.

I ate lunch in the kitchen of the Lodge. My radishes and cos lettuce were doing well. The fish had run at last. Now they were catching sea trout where the burn came from the loch. Yes, on the fly, one after another.

Down at the pier, I went to roll my firkin out to the road where the van could pick it up. I was going to be the hero of the out-of-town brigade of relations. I heard it before I saw it. Hatching bluebottles. The maggots were bright and fast, all through the backs of the split mackerel. I’d seen this before, but that was a plan to create bait for trout. And I’d seen it once when I was very young. I hadn’t followed the Blue Peter instructions for hibernation. I’d neglected the large tortoise. I remember crying and my sister thinking I was making a big fuss.

When Colin arrived he said, never mind, my work wouldn’t go to waste, they were needing more pot-bait.

They paid me till the end of the broken week. Insisted I take some brown crab, yes from our own pots. The lobsters were moving in now. Colder at last. I didn’t fancy digging out Mrs Beeton again to look up Crabs, how to dress them. You can just see one in a tuxedo, can’t you? But you couldn’t say no. I never got a lobster, though. Dead and red, or alive and blue.

I don’t like putting crabs into boiling water. You’ve to jam the lid down for a minute or so after when you do it that way. Mrs Beeton says you can kill them instantly if you pierce a metal skewer through each eye, diagonally, once in each direction. That does seem to be faster. That night the olaid led the way, picking out the meat from the shells. The sister, herself, myself, two hammers and a pair of pliers. The sister was saying how the olman had to dig out the tools to make the tea on a Sunday – opening a tin of sardines.

The three of us were learning how to make a smile again. We were filling two bowls of sweet flesh, the brown meat and the white.