The only wife has deep confidence in her husband and conforms to him as if he were a god. With his concurrence she takes the responsibility of the household upon herself. The house is kept clean and pleasing. The rooms are well swept and decorated with a variety of flowers, the floors polished and smooth. Sacrificial offerings at the shrine of the household deities are made thrice a day. Nothing is dearer to a householder’s heart than this, according to Gonardiya. She pays due regard to the elders and the servants, to her husband’s sisters and their spouses.
(1–5)
The grounds of the house are well weeded. There she plants beds of herbs and green vegetables, clumps of sugar cane, patches of cumin and mustard, anise and fennel and shrubs of cinnamon. In the park she prepares charming plots of musk-rose and gooseberry, magnolia and jasmine, amaranth and verbena, rosebay, adam’s apple and hibiscus, as well as other flowering plants like lemon grass, poppy and scurvy grass. A well, a tank or a pond is located in the middle of the park.
(6–8)
She does not associate with women who are mendicants, ascetics or nuns, wantons or cheats, soothsayers or sorcerers. In the preparation of food she bears in mind her husband’s likes and dislikes, and what is good for him or not. Hearing his voice outside when he is coming home, she stands ready in the courtyard, calling out ‘Anything needed?’ and, brushing aside the servant maid, herself washes his feet.
(9–12)
She does not appear before her husband in private without any adornment. In all pleasures she follows his lead. If he spends money wrongly or excessively, she points this out only when they are alone. She goes to bed after he does, gets up before him and does not disturb him when he is asleep. The kitchen is kept well guarded and well lit. And when she goes out, to attend betrothals, weddings or sacrificial ceremonies, to meet her women friends or visit temples, it is with her husband’s consent.
(13–18)
When a little offended at some misdoing of her husband, she does not speak to him too harshly. If she has to reproach him, she does it when they are alone or among close friends. But she never resorts to sorcery, for nothing destroys trust more than this, according to Gonardiya. She refrains from using bad language, looking daggers, speaking with her face turned away, standing in the doorway and staring, chatting with someone in the park and lingering in lonely places.
(19–22)
She takes care of bad odours – of perspiration and dirty teeth – for these can turn off a man. When going to make love, she adorns herself with jewellery, fragrant oils of various flowers, all kinds of powders and bright clothes. When going on a pleasure trip, she dresses in delicate, soft and light silks, with few ornaments and some scented but not too strong pomade, her hair done up with flowers both white and coloured.
(23–25)
The vows and fasts undertaken by her husband, she too observes herself. ‘I cannot be prohibited in this,’ she retorts if he stops her. When the time and the price are right she acquires household goods of clay, bamboo and wood, leather and iron. Also salt and oil, and hard-to-get fragrances, bitters and medicines which she keeps hidden in the house. She buys and sows at the appropriate time the seeds of all kinds of edible plants like radish, potato, beetroot, wormwood, hog plum, cucumber, snake gourd, aubergine, pumpkin, squash, yam, trumpet flower, bean, sandal, sloe, garlic, onion and suchlike. But she does not discuss her assets with others or tell them about the advice given by her husband.
(26–30)
Among women of her class she stands out for her skills and her appearance, her dignity, culinary ability and entertainment. She estimates the household’s annual income and adjusts the expenditure accordingly. From leftover food she makes ghee, oil and jaggery. From cotton she spins and weaves thread. She stores unused slings for carrying loads, cords and strings for tying and fastening, and tree barks for making ropes. She supervises the pounding and cleaning of rice and makes use of the chaff, the broken grains and, after cooking, of the gruel and the charcoal. She keeps track of the servants’ wages and meals, of agriculture, animal husbandry and the upkeep of carriages. She also looks after the household’s rams, cocks, quails, parrots, mynahs, cuckoos, peacocks, monkeys and deer. The daily income and expenditure are kept under scrutiny. Worn and old clothes are collected, cleaned or dyed, and gifted to servants as tokens of appreciation for their work, or utilized elsewhere. The jars for wines and spirits are stored and used; their purchase and sale are supervised, together with the resultant expenditure and revenue.
(31–35)
Her husband’s friends are honoured appropriately with gifts of flowers, perfume and betel leaf. She is deferential in attending to her parents-in-law, never contradicting them, speaking little but never curtly, and refraining from loud laughter. She further treats those whom they like or dislike in the same way.
(36–37)
She is modest in her enjoyments, considerate to servants and does not give anything to anyone without informing her husband. She also monitors servants in their work and honours them on festival days. Such is the life of the only wife.
(38–41)
When he is travelling and away, the only jewellery she wears is that which signifies that she is married. Awaiting his news, she keeps fasts dedicated to the gods and looks after the household. She sleeps at the feet of the elders, does her work with their advice and endeavours to acquire and preserve things her husband would like. Her expenditure on daily needs and special tasks is appropriate and she does not forget to complete the works her husband had begun. Her visits to her own kinsmen are confined to occasions of joy and grief. Even then she goes with someone from her husband’s household, without any change in her style of dressing during his absence, and does not stay out too long.
(42–45)
Her fasts are undertaken with the elders’ permission. All selling and buying is carried out through honest and dependable servants, so that the assets can be augmented and the expenditure minimized as much as possible. On her husband’s return, she first lets him see her in the common garb she had worn while he was away. Then she prays to the gods and offers him some gifts. Such is her life during his absence.
(46–47)
There are two verses here:
Such is the life that she should lead
as an only and devoted wife,
though she may be a woman of
good family or one remarried,
or even a concubine.
For women of such noble conduct
gain Dharma, Artha, also Kama,
a place of honour and a husband
who will never take another co-wife.
(48)
The addition of a co-wife takes place when the first is frigid, promiscuous or a bringer of bad luck; if she cannot have children or repeatedly has only daughters; or if the husband is fickle-minded and capricious. The first wife should preclude this from the beginning by demonstrating her devotion, virtue and proficiency. If she cannot have children, she herself urges the husband to take a co-wife.
(1–2)
The new co-wife would naturally try to create a situation of predominance for herself. So, the senior should treat her like a sister. She prepares her for the night with many efforts, and makes sure that the husband knows this. She ignores her hostility or any haughtiness springing from her good fortune.
(3–4)
She disregards any negligence shown by the new co-wife in relations with their husband. When she thinks that the new one will herself correct it, she advises her with care. She also briefs her confidentially, but within the husband’s hearing, about the special techniques of love-making which please him.
(5–6)
She shows no discrimination against the new wife’s children. Her servants she treats with the utmost sympathy. She displays affection for her friends, and for her relatives an extreme respect, even more than for her own kin.
(7)
If the senior has been followed by several co-wives, she cultivates the one immediately after her. She also encourages quarrels between the co-wife whom the husband likes most of all and the one who was previously in that position, sympathizing with the latter and uniting the others to denigrate the current favourite as a wicked person, without herself getting into the argument.
(8–11)
Further, she promotes friction between the favourite and the husband, taking her side and egging her on to make the quarrel grow or, if it is subsiding, to light a spark herself. But if she thinks that her husband still cares for her, she works on her own for peace between the two. Such is the conduct of the senior wife.
(12–15)
The junior should regard the senior co-wife as a mother. Without informing her, she does not make use even of what she has received from her own kinsfolk. All her activities are carried out under the senior wife’s supervision and it is with her approval that she sleeps with the husband. She does not tell others what the senior has told her and displays greater regard for the latter’s children than for her own.
(16–21)
She attends more on the husband in private but does not tell him how she herself suffers because of the co-wife’s hostility to her. Secretly she tries to get some special token of the husband’s esteem, telling him that she indeed lives for such support. But, after getting it, she never reveals it to others out of pride or anger, for a woman who betrays the husband’s confidence earns only his contempt.
(22–27)
The junior wife, says Gonardiya, should seek the husband’s attention secretly for she should fear the senior wife. But if the senior is unlucky enough not to have any children, she should treat her with compassion, and also urge the husband to do the same, while supplanting her and assuming the role of an only wife. This concludes the conduct of the junior wife.
(28–30)
The remarried woman is a widow who, tormented by the weakness of the flesh, again attaches herself to some man endowed with good qualities and given to enjoyment. According to the followers of Babhravya, she may also be a woman who on her own leaves a husband, saying he is worthless, and desires another man.
(31–32)
In attaching herself to another man, she is in fact looking for happiness. And that is what marks her, says Gonardiya, for the totality of happiness lies in good qualities as well as their enjoyment. It depends on whatever is in keeping with one’s own inclinations, according to Vatsyayana.
(33–35)
The remarried woman may want her relatives and husband to provide enough to meet her expenses for drinking parties, excursions, faith offerings and gifts to honour friends. Or she may do this from her own resources. The jewellery she wears is her husband’s or her own, there being no rules for gifts made out of love. But she should return all other things given by the former husband if she leaves him of her own will. If she is turned out, she need give nothing back.
(36–39)
She treats the new husband’s home as if she were its mistress. With his other wives of good family she is affectionate, with his servants considerate, and with his friends gay but always respectful. Adept in all the arts, she also knows more about them than her husband. If there is an occasion to quarrel, she reproaches him herself. But in private she follows him in the sixty-four arts of love-making. To her co-wives she does personal favours. To their children she gives ornaments, treating them like their superior and showing her approval with gifts of clothes and cosmetics. To his servants and friends she gives even more. And she is always ready for company, drinking parties, picnics, excursions and other amusements. Such is the way of the remarried woman.
(40–44)
The unlucky wife, neglected by her husband, is oppressed by her co-wives. Among them she should seek the support of one for whom their husband cares most. To her she demonstrates the pleasurable arts and skills she knows, for her misfortune leaves no room for keeping secrets.
(45)
She acts the nurse for the husband’s children, cultivates his friends and makes her devotion to him known through them. She takes the lead in religious rites, vows and fasts, and is considerate to the servants without putting on too many airs.
(46–49)
In bed, she turns herself on in ways that suit the husband’s inclinations. She does not reproach him or act contrary, and if any co-wife quarrels with him she helps in reconciling them. If there is some woman he secretly wants, she brings them together and keeps it confidential. In effect she so conducts herself as will make the husband think her chaste, undeceiving and devoted to him. This is the way for an unlucky wife.
(50–54)
The preceding sections are also pointers to the life in a royal harem.
(55)
The women chamberlains or guards present garlands, pomades and garments to the king, informing him that they have been sent by the queens. The king takes them and gives in return garlands and flowers as signs of his acceptance of the offerings. In the afternoon he sees all the ladies of the harem in a single group. He is duly accoutred for the occasion, as are they. He talks and jokes with them, in keeping with their status and the time they have been in the harem. In the same way he meets his remarried women, and also the courtesans and the dancing girls who stay in the harem, each in their assigned quarters.
(56–62)
In the afternoon, when the king has risen after a siesta, the keeper of the roster informs him of the lady whose turn it is to be with him that night, the one who had the previous turn and any who are in their fertile period. The servants of each follow the keeper and present to the king containers of pomade stamped with the women’s seal rings. The one picked up by him indicates whose turn it will be.
(63–64)
All the ladies of the harem are honoured appropriately with drinks during festivals, concerts and exhibitions. But they do not go out, nor do women from outside come in, except those of known purity, so that the activity inside remains undisturbed. This concludes the life in the harem.
(65–66)
There are some verses on this:
Having many wives collected,
a man should treat them equally:
not slighting any one of them,
nor putting up with their deceptions.
(67)
The games one plays in making love,
the special features of her body,
her intimate talk and any reproach,
he must not tell the other wives.
Nor must he give an opening
to one against another wife,
or any cause or reason for it.
And if one of them complains, she should
be held to be the one at fault.
(68–69)
One by private confidences,
another by public honour,
and one by showing great respect:
thus he pleases all his women.
Each one he needs to gratify
with garden outings and enjoyments,
with gifts and honours to her kin,
and the pleasures of love in privacy.
(70–71)