Many teachers have said that a virgin girl can be won more easily through a man’s own advances than through a woman messenger acting as the go-between. With other men’s wives, they say, it is more delicate and those women are better won through the female messenger. There is also a common belief that women who are daring for the first time to venture into an affair and are uninhibited in talking about it can be seduced by a man on his own, while the opposite kind of women need going through a messenger. According to Vatsyayana, one’s own efforts are more effective in all cases, depending of course on one’s abilities. It is only when the latter are inadequate or there are difficulties that a woman messenger is required.
(1–3)
A man wishing to make an advance needs first to get himself acquainted with the woman he desires. His meeting her can either be natural or it can be contrived. The natural way is in the vicinity of his own house. The contrived one can be at the house of a friend, a kinsman, a high official or a doctor; or on the occasion of a wedding or a sacrificial ceremony, a festival or some calamity, an excursion to a park or other such events.
(4–5)
When she sees him, he gazes at her steadily while making signals. He pats his hair down, snaps his fingers, tinkles his ornaments, bites his lower lip and makes other such signs. As she looks on, he talks about her with his companions on some pretext, displaying his liberality and sense of enjoyment. Reclining by a friend’s side, he may stretch his limbs, yawn and raise an eyebrow, speaking slowly while listening to her talk. Using words with double meanings, he addresses a child or another person, indirectly expressing his own desire for her. And, in another signal, he kisses and embraces the child, gives it a betel leaf with his tongue and tickles its chin with his forefinger, doing all this at appropriate moments. Or he may fondle the child seated in her lap, give it a toy then pull it away and, being near her, start up a conversation. Becoming friends with someone well known to her, he uses that person to gain access and talks within her hearing about the Kama Sutra, of course without looking at her. As their acquaintance grows, he finds excuses for further interaction by lending her things like betel nuts and perfumes for long or short periods, taking the opportunity to ask for them later. He also arranges intimate get-togethers for her at a private place, even with his own wives.
(6–10)
To meet her regularly and gain her confidence, when she needs something from the goldsmith, the jeweller or the gem-cutter, the dyer with colours of indigo or safflower, he arranges the business himself through his own servants. Organizing such work provides occasions for long and public meetings with her so that one transaction will lead to another. Thus, he makes it known that the production and application, the knowledge and the means of acquisition of the works, materials and skills she may want are all within his capacity to deliver. He also discusses with her and her associates how people tested the quality of work in the past, and arranges for her to act as the arbitrator in specific matters, saying ‘It will be marvellous,’ if she questions him. Such is getting acquainted.
(11–18)
Once he has got to know the woman and she has indicated her feelings through gestures and expressions, the man may advance with the methods used in the case of a virgin girl. There they are generally subtle, for virgins have not yet had sex, but with other women who have, the very same advances can be quite open. So, when her reactions are clear and her feelings revealed, they share and enjoy each other’s possessions. These can be things like valuable perfumes, scarves, flowers and rings. On the way to a party, he takes a betel leaf from her hand, asks for a flower from her hair and gives her a precious perfume or some other desirable object with his nail or teeth marks on it as a token.
(19–22)
Dispelling her diffidence with more and more advances, he gradually goes with her to secluded places. They embrace and kiss. They exchange betel leaves and other things, in the course of which he touches her in her private parts. Thus are advances made. But, while making up to one woman one should never do so with another. And if there is one with whom a man has earlier had an affair, he should placate her with things she likes.
(23–26)
There are two verses here:
One should never make a pass
at a woman, even though
when her husband is seen to be
going about with someone else.
Conscious of his own reputation,
a wise man will not think about
a woman suspicious by nature,
well protected or afraid,
or living with her mother-in-law.
(27–28)
One needs to study a woman’s behaviour when making a pass at her. This also gives a measure of her feelings in responding to the advance. If she does not manifest any, a female messenger or go-between may be required to win her over. If she does not react, but meets the man again, it shows that she is in two minds. He can then hope to win her by slow degrees.
(1–3)
While not responding overtly to his advances, if she still lets herself be seen all dressed up by the man, and comes to him so attired, it is an indication that she is available, but by force when they are alone. If she does not yield despite permitting many advances for long, she is a flirt. Then, as the human heart is always changeable, one must break off relations in order to have her eventually. Another woman avoids the man making advances. She neither comes to him nor turns away. This is because she is conscious of her own importance. Such a woman is not easy to get just by cultivation. She needs winning over through a messenger or go-between who knows her weaknesses. The woman who rebuffs an advance rudely deserves to be dropped, but she can still be won if, despite her rudeness, she is in search of pleasure. A woman in two minds will allow the man to touch her on some pretext, as if she did not notice it. Such a one can be had with patience and persistence.
(4–10)
Pretending to be asleep, a man puts his hand on the body of a woman lying by his side. Though liking it, she too reacts as if asleep, but pushes the hand away on seeming to wake up. This shows that she wants further advances. This can also be seen by his putting a foot on hers and, progressively, by embracing her while feigning sleep. She may then get up as if it was too much. But if she acts normally the next day, it shows that she still wants the advance to continue. On the other hand, if she will not allow him to see her, she needs to be won through a messenger. Then, even after not having seen him for a long time, she comes to meet him as before, and signals to him with gestures and expressions so that he may resume his approach.
(11–15)
A woman may encourage a man even without being approached. She reveals her limbs when they are alone and speaks tremulously. Her breasts heave. Perspiration appears on her face, hands and toes. She offers to massage his head and thighs, and does so eagerly, massaging him with one hand while embracing him with the other, and seeking to be touched herself. Acting wonder-struck or just tired, she then stays still, with both her arms touching his two thighs or her forehead resting on them. Asked to massage him in the groin, she does not object but just puts one hand there, without moving it. And when he squeezes it hard between his legs, she removes it only after much time. Having thus accepted the advance, she then comes again the following day to massage him once more.
(16–19)
Or, she may neither become too intimate with the man, nor avoid him. For no reason she displays her feelings openly when they are alone. Otherwise she hides them. She may then be having an affair with a personal attendant and wishing to continue it even after being approached. In that case she needs to be won through a go-between who knows where she is vulnerable. But if she still turns away, then she is a doubtful case. Such is the appraisal of feelings.
(20–23)
There are some verses on this:
Get to know her, first of all,
then start a conversation,
and mixed with talking there can be
exchange of hints and signals.
From her responses, if he sees
acceptance of his approaches,
a man may then no more hesitate
but go all out for the woman.
A woman who already shows
her feelings through her gestures,
needs to have a swift response
at the very first meeting.
even to a gentle hint,
longs for sex, it should be known,
and can be had in a moment.
Women are winnable, it is clear,
but here are subtle methods shown
to deal with ladies unexpressive,
not bold, yet with enquiring minds.
(24–28)
A woman one meets rarely, and who has with her gestures given encouraging signals which she never did before, needs to be approached through a female messenger acting as the go-between.
(1)
The go-between wins the woman’s confidence by being agreeable. She entertains her with smooth talk of beauty treatments and what others are doing, and with tales told by bards and stories of romantic affairs, while flattering her with praise for her good looks, knowledge, courtesy and character. ‘How could someone like you have such a husband?’ she says to make her feel a tinge of regret, ‘Good lady, he is not fit even to work as your servant!’ And she speaks to her at length, with feigned sympathy, about his sexual dullness, jealousy, dishonesty, ingratitude, aversion to enjoyment, stinginess, whimsicality and other defects, harping in particular on those which she considers most hurt the wife. Thus, if the latter is a doe woman, the husband is not faulted for being a hare man; this is said only if she is a mare or an elephant woman.
(2–8)
According to Gonikaputra, the woman’s feelings may be in a delicate state as she dares for the first time in her life to have an affair. After winning her trust, the go-between tells her of the suitor’s accomplishments, his suitability and longing for her. And, as the woman reveals her true feelings, the messenger plots her own way to her goal. ‘Listen, good lady,’ she tells her, ‘this is an extraordinary situation. That man is from a good family. Seeing you has turned him mad. He has a gentle nature and the poor fellow has never been smitten before by anyone else. Now he is even prepared to die for you.’
(9–12)
She repeats this story on the following day, noting the sparkle it has brought to the woman’s eyes and face, to her voice and gaze. And as the latter listens, she tells her the well-known and now pertinent tales of Ahalya, Avimaraka, Shakuntala and others. She speaks about the man’s virility, expertise in the sixty-four arts and his luckiness in love. She talks of his secret affairs with some celebrated women, which may or may not have taken place.
(13–15)
Then she observes her expression. The woman looks at her and speaks with a smile; invites her to take a seat; asks her where she has been, slept and eaten, what she has been doing; and opens up to her when they are alone. She starts narrating stories, sighs thoughtfully and yawns, gives her a present in token of her love, invites her to select festivals and lets her go with the promise that they meet again. ‘You speak so nicely,’ she says at the end, ‘then why do you tell me such terrible things?’ And she talks of her suitor’s duplicity and fickleness. Without herself mentioning how she earlier met and interacted with him, she looks to the go-between to refer to it and, when the latter speaks about the man’s wishes, the woman laughs them off without any definite response. On getting such signals, the go-between should bolster them with further reminders about the man, his love for the woman and his various qualities.
(16–31)
According to Auddalaki there is no role for a go-between when two people neither know nor have received signals from one another. The followers of Babhravya say that there is a role, even when they do not know each other, if one has signalled to the other. According to Gonikaputra, although they may not have exchanged signals, there is still a role if they know each other. In the view of Vatsyayana there can be a role even without any mutual acquaintance or exchanges. It depends on their confidence in the messenger or go-between.
(32–35)
The go-between shows the woman gifts sent by the man to steal her heart: a betel leaf or a pomade, a necklace, a ring or a garment. The container of each carries signs made with the man’s teeth or nails to convey his intent. The garment is marked with a supplication made in saffron. She also shows the woman leaves cut in various shapes to indicate the man’s feelings and, concealed in ear ornaments and chaplets, written messages expressing his wishes. The woman then sends gifts in return. Such mutual exchanges, carried out with trust in the messenger, lead to a meeting.
(36–41)
According to the followers of Babhravya, meetings may take place on occasions such as visits to temples, expeditions, garden picnics, water sports, weddings, sacrificial ceremonies, festivals, spectacles and also at times of trouble like fires, robberies and armed invasions of the country. Gonikaputra says that homes of girl friends, nuns, women mendicants and ascetics are convenient places for a meeting. The woman’s house itself is always convenient, according to Vatsyayana, if one knows how to get in and out, has thought out reactions to any trouble and if entrance and exit is secure even at unpredictable times.
(42–44)
There are different kinds of women messenger or go-between: one fully mandated; one with only a limited mandate; just a carrier of letters; one acting for her own self; one acting for a fool; a wife who acts the messenger; one who stays mute; and one like the wind.
(45)
The fully mandated go-between is one who has understood the end desired by both the man and the woman, and then uses her own head to bring it about. She is generally used by people who already know and have talked to each other, but may be used by a woman even when they have not, or by a couple similar and suited to each other, and mutually curious even though unacquainted.
(46–49)
The go-between with a limited mandate knows of a part of the affair and the advances made, and works to bring about the rest. She is used by couples who have noted each other’s signals but can meet only rarely. The letter-carrier merely brings messages. She is used just to fix a rendezvous by couples who already know and have deep feelings for each other.
(50–53)
Then there is the go-between who pursues her own interest. She is sent by another woman but, as if unknowingly, herself propositions the man.
She tells him she dreamt he was sleeping with her, complains that he called her by his wife’s name and uses this as a pretext to show that she feels jealous. She also gives him something with her nail or teeth marks on it, saying, ‘I had decided from the beginning to present this to you.’ And, when they are alone, she quizzes him, ‘Who is more enjoyable, I or your wife?’ Such a woman is to be seen and received privately. On the excuse of having brought a message from another woman, she uses the opportunity to harm her and herself seduce the man. It is said that men also do this when acting the messenger for another man.
(54–57)
There is another type of woman, one who worms her way quietly into the confidence of a man’s naive wife and asks her about his activities. She offers instruction in love-making, in dressing to send signals and in feigning anger, telling her, ‘This is what you should do.’ She makes nail and teeth marks on the wife’s body, sending in this way her own signals to the man. Such is the messenger acting for a fool. A man may give his responses similarly. Or he may get his own naive and foolish wife to gain the other woman’s confidence so as to send her signals and make his abilities known to her. Here the wife acts as a messenger, and signals can also be received through her.
(58–60)
Then a man may send a young servant girl, who knows no wickedness, as an innocent medium, with a garland or an ear ornament containing a secret note or a nail and teeth mark. This is the mute messenger, and he can also ask for a reply to be sent through her. Finally there is the messenger like the wind, wholly detached from the message she carries. Containing previously arranged meanings and marks which others cannot divine, it may also have both a common and a double intent. The reply, too, can be requested through her. These are the different kinds of women messengers.
(61–62)
There are some verses on this:
A widow, a female fortune-teller,
a servant maid, a beggar woman,
and a woman artisan
are quick in winning confidence
to act the role of go-between.
(63)
To put it briefly,
She gets the husband to be hated,
extols the other person’s charms,
reveals, even before other women,
his marvellous ways in sex.
She speaks of the man’s affection,
his skill in making love,
his being sought by better women
and still remaining true.
With her clever use of words
a messenger can turn around
even an unintended meaning
in words uttered by mistake.
(64–66)
Kings and their ministers
do not enter others’ homes
as many people watch the way
they behave and do the same,
just as all the world gets up
when the rising sun it sees
and, on beholding it go down,
also turns to rest.
(1–2)
They should therefore not do anything which is improper, both because it is not done and because it would invite censure. But if it becomes inevitable, they need to resort to expedients.
(3–4)
Young village headmen, officers and sons of farm superintendents can have village women with just a nod. Their hangers-on call such women wanton. They can be had when engaged in unpaid labour, in filling granaries, bringing in and taking things out, cleaning house, working in the field, collecting cotton, wool, flax and tree bark, getting thread, and in the sale, purchase or exchange of goods. Thus are dairy maids used by the keeper of cows; widows, orphan girls and homeless women by the spinning-master; women who roam the streets by the police chief who knows their secrets because of his own wanderings at night; and those who buy and sell by the man in charge of the market.
(5–10)
Women in cities, suburbs and market towns generally go to the home of a man in power on occasions like the eighth and the full moon night and the spring festival for social gatherings with the ladies of his harem. After the drinking party there, these city women separately visit the chambers of the harem ladies they know, where they are welcomed and offered drinks, sit and talk before going home in the evening.
(11–12)
A royal servant maid, who already knows the woman desired by the man in power, is sent to talk to her on such occasions and to prepare her with a display of beautiful things. She would have spoken to the woman even earlier at her own home. ‘I will show you some beautiful things at the royal palace at such and such a gathering,’ she would have said while fixing a time. ‘I will show you the floor outside, inlaid with coral, the altar made of gems, the orchard, the bower of grape vines, the secret passage in the palace walls, the lake pavilion, the pictures, domesticated animals, mechanical toys, caged birds, tigers and lions, and other things I earlier mentioned.’ And, when they are alone, she tells her of the lord’s passion for her, describes his skill in making love and gets the woman to agree without telling anyone else about the proposal.
(13–19)
If the woman does not agree, the lord then comes himself and propitiates her with courtesies and civilities. Having had his way, he lovingly sends her off. If her husband is fit to be favoured, he has that man’s wives always come to the harem at suitable times, when the royal servant maid is sent as before.
(20–21)
Alternatively, the woman wanted by the lord is cultivated by another lady from the harem who sends her own servant to her as their friendship grows. And when they meet, the woman is honoured, offered drinks and the royal servant maid despatched as before. Or, if the woman he wants is well known for skills like music, the lady from the harem formally invites her to give a performance, and when she comes the royal servant maid is sent as before.
(22–23)
If the woman desired is the wife of someone in a state of fear because of an imminent problem, a beggar woman tells her: ‘There is such and such a lady in the harem who has influence on the king. She listens to me and does what I ask of her. As she is kindly by nature, I will find some way to go to her myself and arrange your entry there. She will take care of your husband’s great problem.’ Convincing her thus, she takes her in twice or thrice, and the lady in the harem gives her assurances which please her no end. Then the royal servant maid is sent as before.
(24)
The same approach can be made with wives of men who are in search of a job, harassed by ministers, forcibly arrested, with few legal resources, dissatisfied with their standards of living, seeking royal favour, wishing for a place in official circles, troubled by their kinsmen or wanting to trouble them, seeking to pass information, and others wanting something.
(25)
Or, if the woman desired by the lord is involved with someone else, he can just have her taken into custody, appointed as an attendant and gradually introduced into the harem. Or her husband is accused by a spy of being against the king and she is arrested as the spouse and brought into the harem in this way. Such are the secret methods. They are generally used by princes.
(26–27)
But a man in power should never enter another person’s home. It is said that the Kotta king, Abhira, did so and was killed by a washerman engaged by the owner’s brother. Jayasena, the king of Kashi, was killed by the chief of his cavalry.
(28–29)
Desires can also be pursued openly, in keeping with local practices. Among the people of Andhra, a newly married local girl goes with some presents on the tenth day to the royal harem and returns only after having been enjoyed. Among the people of Vatsagulma, the wives of ministers and other lords go at night to service the king. Among those of Vidarbha, the ladies of the harem keep beautiful local girls with them for a month or half a month on the pretext of their affection for them. In the land of Aparanta, people gift their good-looking wives to ministers and kings, just as tokens of their love. And, in that of Saurashtra, women of the city and the countryside enter the royal household individually, and in groups, for the king’s pleasure.
(30–35)
There are two verses on this:
These, and many other ways
of having wives of other men,
are prevalent in different places,
propagated by men in power.
But a king who is devoted
to the people’s welfare, will not
ever use these methods and,
quelling the enemies six within,
conquer all the earth.
(36–37)
For the women of the harem, there is no meeting men because they are guarded, and no satisfaction because there is only one husband in common for many wives. So, they simply use other means to give pleasure to one another. Dressing up the daughter of a nurse, a girl friend or a servant girl as a man, and equipping her with something of appropriate shape, a tuber, root, fruit or a dildo, they then relieve their own desires. They also lie on statues of men where the penis is not clearly visible. Kings who pity them will go with a dildo to many such women in one night, even without feeling any passion, although if it is the appointed turn of a woman they love or one who is in her fertile period, they then give vent to their own desire. These are eastern practices. As with women, men deprived of sex too are known to relieve their desires with objects other than a vagina, with animals, images of women and by straightforward masturbation.
(1–5)
The women of the harem often have their servant girls bring in gentlemen disguised in female garb. The daughters of their nurses, too, if they are well introduced inside the harem, try to get these men in by pointing out possibilities for the future. They tell them how easy it is to enter and of the points of exit, the vastness of the building, the carelessness of the guards and the frequent absence of the servants. But they should not make the mistake of getting people in under false pretences.
(6–9)
According to Vatsyayana, even if the harem is easily accessible, a gentleman should refrain from entering it because of the great likelihood that this could be disastrous for him. However, he may enter if he has been invited by the women many times, has understood the method of getting out which they have suggested and has assessed what he will gain from the visit. He needs first to investigate all aspects thoroughly: the harem’s exit, its surrounding pleasure park, the openings in its high walls, whether the guards are indeed few and careless, and the king is away. Depending on the possibilities, he could then come out every day.
(10–12)
On some pretext he makes the acquaintance of the guards outside and gets to recognize the king’s spies. He makes out that he is attached to a servant maid inside who is aware of his desire. Grief-stricken at not meeting her, he asks the other women who go in to act as his messengers. In case the agreed messenger woman cannot go in, he stands where the woman he wants can see and signal to him. Here too he gives the excuse of the servant maid to the guards. And when his gaze meets that of the woman he desires, he signals to her with gestures, draws suitable pictures at the spot where she is looking, writes bits of songs with double meanings there and places near it toys and balls he has marked, together with a ring.
(13–19)
Only after noting her response does he try to enter. He finds out the passageways she uses and hides himself there in advance, or enters at a time fixed by her, dressed as a guard. Or, he enters and comes out covered in a bedsheet or a cloak. Or, he makes himself invisible with the magic trick of ‘fold-unfold’. This is how it is done. Take the heart of a mongoose, the eyes of a snake, the fruit of fenugreek and a long gourd plant. Cook them on smokeless fire. Then grind equal parts into a paste. When this is applied to the eyes, both one’s form and one’s shadow disappear. Or, he comes in at the moonlight festival with the lamp-carriers through an underground passage.
(20–26)
When objects are being removed
and drinks are being brought inside
for a feast of revelry
and servant girls are in a rush;
when the house is being shifted
and there is a change of guard;
when expeditions to parks occur
or when they are coming back;
and when the king himself proceeds
on a journey that is long:
it is then that, generally,
a young man enters and exits.
And, some women of the harem,
knowing each the other’s wish,
in what should be done, united,
get the rest to join them too
through corrupting one the other,
so that the man, resolute in his
dedication to a single goal,
can then never get betrayed
but may straightaway enjoy
the fruit that he desires.
(27–28)
In Aparanta the denizens of the harem are not too well guarded, and the women visiting the royal palace themselves bring good-looking men inside. The Abhira women fulfil their desires with the harem guards themselves, who are known as the warriors. The women of Vatsagulma get sons of gentlemen inside dressed as errand girls, along with those girls.
(29–30)
In Vidarbha, the sons of denizens visit the harem whenever they wish and sleep with all women except their own mothers. In the kingdom of women the ladies of the harem do this only with their visiting kinsmen and relatives and not with others. In Gauda the women of the harem do it with brahmins, friends, attendants, servants and slaves; and those in Sindhu with porters, artisans and others of this ilk who are not barred from the harem. In the Himalayas bold men bribe the guards and enter the harem in a group. In Vanga, Anga and Kalinga the brahmins of the city, charged with making gifts of flowers, go into the harem with the king’s knowledge. There they talk with the women who are behind a curtain, and a union takes place in due course. In eastern lands nine or ten women get together and keep a young man hidden among them. Thus are the wives of others seduced and such is the life of the women in a harem.
(31–38)
One’s own wives need to be guarded for these very reasons. Many teachers have said that guards for the harem should be appointed only from people of proven loyalty in matters of sex. But they could let someone in out of fear or greed. Therefore, according to Gonikaputra, they should also be of proven loyalty in aspects apart from sex. According to Vatsyayana, though loyalty is a sacred duty, even so people abandon it out of fear. They should as such be tested also for their adherence to virtue.
(39–42)
According to the followers of Babhravya, one’s own wives should also be tested to ascertain their purity or impurity. This can be done through women who keep their own intent secret and will report on what others say. But just because such wicked people succeed with young women, according to Vatsyayana, one should not let the innocent be tainted for no reason. What ruins women is: too much partying; absence of discipline; the husband’s wilfulness; unrestrained behaviour with other men; staying away from home; living abroad; loss of livelihood; association with loose women; and the husband’s jealousy.
(43–45)
A man who knows this book of rules,
and has seen the methods used
to target other people’s wives,
will not get cheated by his own.
But do not go for others’ wives:
these methods are but optional,
with clearly visible dangers,
and they go against the pursuit
both of virtue and of wealth.
This disquisition has been made
for the welfare of all men
and for keeping all wives safe.
It should not be understood
as meant for spoiling people.
(46–48)