Liam felt the wind go out of his lungs as he watched Hana kiss Jay. He felt like sinking to his knees. He felt like rushing out and pulling them apart, dragging her away screaming “Mine!” He’d stood in the doorway, frozen, listening to everything they said. Every word out of Hana’s mouth hitting with a blow to his chest until he couldn’t speak, he couldn’t breathe, and now he couldn’t move.
Jay was kissing her back. For a split second they were entangled in each other’s arms and it was like back in college; of course they were meant to be together and Liam was watching them from afar and eating his heart out, but this time, it was so much worse. Because Liam knew how Hana’s lips felt. He knew what she tasted like. He knew her scent and the little murmur of contentment in her throat she made when he kissed her the right way, what her hands felt like when they reached up and twined themselves in his hair.
She’d been his. And now she wasn’t.
Jay broke the kiss and stepped back. “What are we doing?” Liam heard him say. “This isn’t right.”
“You’re wrong,” said Hana. She reached up and kissed him again. Liam felt his stomach lurch. “This is exactly right.”
Jay gently pushed her away, holding her at arm’s length. “Listen, I’m not going to lie and say I never wanted this. Because you know I did. And maybe I even still do. I don’t know. And maybe you’re right about Alli. Maybe she needs us to be together. I don’t know about that, either. But you can’t just kiss me, Hana. I didn’t ask for that. I’m not ready for that.”
“I’m sorry,” she said swiftly. “I won’t. I won’t kiss you again until you say you’re ready. But shouldn’t we just try? For Alli’s sake?”
Jay shook his head, looking blindly past her. Suddenly, his eyes widened. “Liam?”
Liam stepped out of the doorway. Hana swung around and locked eyes with him. “Liam?” she echoed.
He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t move. They all just stood, staring at one another. Like the worst kind of hell.
I deserve this, thought Liam. This is exactly what Jay must have felt when he lost her.
“So that’s it?” he finally said. He sounded eerily calm compared to the writhing, screaming emotion inside him. “Hana?”
She stared. She stared and stared. And then she nodded. The tiniest nod. Her eyes full of pain.
He blinked. “Okay, then. Okay.” And he stumbled back into the ballroom, looking for another drink.