After espresso, friendly banter, and cold
meats; after the shots taken, the near misses,
and more shots; after frenzy in thick woods,
barking pointers, and sprays of grapeshot;
after the trembling, hollering, and retrieving;
after a long table of antipasti, slow-cooked beans,
and tarts served alongside fruit—the pheasant
lay gutted or hung up for moist roasting.
Preferring to run rather than fly, timid around men,
how they startled upward with a wing-whir.
Now I eat what is caught with my own hands
like my father, and feel confused. The charm
flees. I want my life to be borrowing and
paying back. I don’t want to be a gun.