Jazz glanced at Vivi several times as he drove. She hadn’t said a word when he asked for the keys. After giving him directions to her address, she had been silent since questioning Rose’s father. He could tell her mind was far away; in fact, he doubted whether she cared if he was going the right direction.
He felt bad for her. He’d gone into that gambling den with the cash she’d given him to use as “coffee money,” as she called it, and had done exactly as she had instructed, talking to the head thug and slipping him that envelope. Then, after being pointed the way, he’d hauled that son of a bitch out of there without any trouble at all. Everyone had left him alone as Tham yelled and kicked.
Jazz grimly recalled Vivi’s demeanor. This was yet another side of her. As he’d tightened his hold on the struggling little man, she had surprised both of them when she suddenly clamped a hand around Tham’s neck. A little telling squeeze and the man had gone limp with fear. Cold and calm, she’d told Rose’s father exactly which points of his body she was going to hurt if he didn’t tell her what he’d done to his daughter.
He couldn’t understand what the poor bastard said after that. Fear had robbed him of whatever broken English he had, and the words that poured out were fast and frightened, pleading in tone. And as he watched, Vivi’s face turned pale. She’d pursed her lips tightly, reining in her control even as he noted her clenched fist at her side.
“I would have broken his face, Vivi,” he said quietly.
She sighed. Her eyes stared blankly ahead. “What good would it have done? She’s gone and there’s nothing I can do about it.”
The slight catch in her voice tugged at his emotions. She hadn’t been just holding in her anger and frustration. His girl’s heart was broken, and she was trying so hard not to show it. He had never felt so helpless. Nothing he could say was going to help her.
“We’ve reached your place...where do I park?”
“Behind the building. Jazz?” She finally turned, and the pain in her eyes almost did him in. “Can you stay with me tonight? I can get T to take you back to the compound or someone to give you a ride. I just can’t—”
“Shhhhh...” He reached out and gently fingered her lips. “Tais-toi, chouchou, I’ll stay. The team knows where I am and there’s no lockdown yet.”
She nodded and sat back in her seat again. Jazz looked at her for a moment, then turned back to drive the car to the rear of the building. She got out and waited as he locked up. She then took his hand in hers. He followed quietly, letting her lead him wherever she wanted. He sensed her need to get into her apartment before she allowed herself to fall apart. Rose’s disappearance had really hit her very hard. His Vivi wasn’t one to easily break and she was very close to the edge right now.
Her apartment was small. She didn’t pause to turn on the lights and he didn’t really have time to look around casually anyway, his mind registering just the size, the way the furniture was laid out, the small kitchen to the left, as she pulled him toward the only place he was interested in. She pushed open the door, and the silken darkness reminded him of the other night in the woods when she was also taking him by the hand like this.
Just the thought of her jumping his bones again had him hard. But he was torn. On the one hand, she needed him now. On the other, he didn’t want to be just comfort sex. He wanted so much more. He could walk with her to that bed over there right now and they would be tangled between the sheets in no time, and he knew she just wanted to go somewhere that would take away her pain.
That last thought dissolved all hesitation. Vivi in pain was unacceptable. He would figure out a way to get through to her. But right now, she needed him just to be here.
He turned her to him and slowly undid the buttons of her top, using his hands in the dark to give her the reassurance she was seeking. He kissed her softly as he slid her bra off her shoulders. She didn’t move, but her response was wild, almost desperate. Her pants fell to the floor, and, still kissing her, he nudged her toward the bed until she fell backward onto it.
She remained that way as he quickly shucked his clothes. His eyes had gotten used to the dark and he could see her soft outline on the pale sheets. When he came to her, he felt her legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him forward.
He touched her and found her dry. She didn’t seem to care, her thighs clamping onto him insistently. She didn’t reach out with her arms or say anything, just silently imploring him.
Jazz shook his head in the dark. Her pain was his, even if she wasn’t going to share it. She wanted the intimacy but not the emotions that went with it, and no, cold comfort wasn’t what he was willing to give.
He leaned forward and gave her another kiss, this time harder, trying to get through. He reached down between her legs again, using his arousal to stimulate her. She shook her head—or tried to—as her hands finally came alive, sliding down his sides and joining his. She wanted him inside. Now.
But she still wasn’t ready. He slipped one finger inside her and she jerked against him in protest. She said something against his lips but he continued kissing her, his tongue tangling with hers. He slid another finger inside her, sliding deep inside and cupping her.
“Nnnnn...” she moaned as he felt the first slide of moisture. Her legs dropped and she tried to twist away.
He worked the moisture out and slid his wet fingers to another area to get more but her hands trapped his, refusing to let him continue. It didn’t matter, he was already familiar enough with her body to know all her erogenous spots. He released her lips and went to kiss her neck, right under her ear. Right there, where her pulse thrummed against his lips. Her head rolled back to allow him access, and as if she suddenly realized what she was doing, she stopped herself and tried to turn the opposite way.
But he already found where he wanted to nibble and he knew he had her from the way her hands couldn’t hold on tightly any longer. He bit a little harder and ran his tongue down the side of her neck. A helpless gurgle escaped her lips, and this time she didn’t stop him as his hand caressed gently. He parted her and found her other, more sensitive, spot.
“No...Jazz...I...”
He kissed her neck and whispered in her ear, “Yes, chouchou. I know you’re hurt but you can’t lock yourself in. You can’t lock me out and have me use you. Let me love you like you deserve, honey. I’m here for you—all of me.”
She shook her head. “No! I don’t want...” and she moaned even as she tried to get away from his roving fingers. He could feel her wet and ready but she was still fighting herself and him. “Oh God, no, don’t want to feel this...good.”
“There’s nothing wrong with feeling good.” Jazz nudged against her heat and slid in slowly, using more pressure with his fingers. She might be protesting but her body rewarded him with that silken dampness he wanted. “I can’t give you what you want, Vivi, not that way. It has to have pleasure, love, lots of pleasure...it comes with the territory. Don’t hold back, please don’t hold back. Donne-moi tous.”
She gasped as he went deep. He could feel her squeezing him, the faint contraction inside her starting. Yet she still twisted to get away. She gasped again as he cupped her, moving his hand in tandem with the rhythm of his body. He went for her neck again, nibbling and tenderly sucking her sweet flesh.
“No...”
Her body went limp as he shaped her growing pleasure, using every part of him to push her over. His need for her was almost boiling over and he had to force himself not to move any faster. Just as he was about to lose control, he felt her climax starting even as she pounded against his shoulders.
“No...no...I...don’t want to feel...”
And she went over, her body bucking under his. Only then did Jazz allow himself to go too. She was hot and wet now, her internal muscles milking him as she came. Her arms reached up and wrapped around his body. With a grunt, he gave one final thrust and let her pleasure tip him over. His careful control produced a fierce orgasm, and his whole soul seemed to vibrate with the different layers of pleasure.
He finally pulled out and turned over to lie beside her. They lay quietly, catching their breath. Now and then his body shuddered involuntarily, still reacting to the blast of pleasure minutes before. Vivi moved first. She turned, and so did he. She hid her face against his chest.
“I broke my promise to her, Jazz. I lost her. Oh God, I broke my promise again.”
And she started to weep.
***
Vivi hadn’t cried in a long time, not like this. Jazz gathered her in his arms, murmuring softly into her hair, and she couldn’t stop the torrent of tears. She’d never felt so helpless and hopeless. Rose had depended on her, and she’d failed the girl. She hadn’t even been there to return her calls for help. What could have gone through the kid’s mind when Juliana told her none was coming?
“Don’t blame yourself, chouchou,” Jazz said gently, after listening to her half-sobbed explanation. “C’est pas ta faute.”
“If I had taken care of the situation, found some place for Rose...”
“Listen, sweetheart, it would have been another girl, and you would still be feeling the way you do. Now that you’ve told me about your friend Sia-Sia, I see why this is so important to you. You promised Rose the same thing you promised Sia-Sia, and both times, you feel you’ve failed them.” He kissed her forehead. “Don’t beat up yourself like this, chouchou. In between those two promises, you have done many good things, helped out many young girls. I’ve seen the way you work. You’re generous with your time and money, and you give away so much of yourself to others, Vivi. You haven’t failed, not by a long shot.”
He made things sound so simple. All day, she’d walked around with a painful knot in her stomach that had gone tighter and tighter. She hadn’t been able to stand it any longer after hearing Rose’s father admit that he’d sold his daughter to pay off his gambling debts. The little ray of hope she had, that Rose had somehow escaped, had extinguished, and all she could think about was how the young girl must have felt abandoned and what she was going through now. And her own promise to Rose—that she would come back for her—had mocked her like a sharp slap.
She’d never had anyone in whom to confide her fears. Every time she saw a girl like Rose, all the past feelings of hopelessness returned. No one to turn to. No place to go. Jazz was the first man she’d ever sought out for help. Before, it had always been her own strength, her own wiles against a man’s world. But it hadn’t been enough this time.
“You know what Admiral Madison said about being in a crossfire? That’s how I feel,” she said, her voice hoarse and tired. “I volunteered to help because I felt I could make a difference. Because I’ve been there before. Because I thought I could offer solutions. But I find myself fighting the organization. In its quest to solicit funds, some of the people in it also have begun seeing these kids as numbers. Rose called for help and what did Juliana do? She ignored the human being, thinking only of that magic number on paper to show the media. And you know what? Many people would agree with her, that what she does is more help than someone like me running around crying foul over a few kids left on the wayside. But Jazz, I was one of those kids...I know what it’s like when you’re too old to be considered cute and too young to know right from wrong. It’s so easy to step off the edge and join the kids in tight skirts and low-cut blouses, waving dollar bills men slip down their push-up bras. I can’t bear the idea of Rose...”
She started crying again. She was thinking of Sia-Sia now.
“Why didn’t you do it?”
She looked up in the dark. “What do you mean?”
“Why didn’t you end up like them? It’s easy to step off, like you said. Hunger. Pain. Threats from relatives. Yet you chose to run away. And you made it as a person. Why?”
“I...” She paused, unsure of how to answer.
“It isn’t that story about your dad being a warrior god coming down to take you away. It isn’t about you abandoning your friend. You saw an open window into the night and you chose to slip out of it. Your friend didn’t—couldn’t, whatever—but you did, in spite of the fear of being alone out there by yourself. Why, Vivi?” His hand caressed the side of her face, wiping away the fallen tears. “I know you’ve heard hundreds of times about how brave and strong you were, that you dug yourself out of a hole, or any number of other things. But have you ever thought why you didn’t end up being sold?”
“Lucky, I guess,” she told him.
“There’s always a little bit of luck in anything we do, sweetheart. I’m lucky to be alive in the job I do. But it also takes perseverance and choices.” There was a pause. Jazz’s voice was low, distant. “I grew up very poor, chouchou. It was just my maman, and she had eight young mouths to feed. Eight kids, and no man in the family. Like you, there were few options for a woman like her in those days, even in the States. My grandfather did the best he could but he was a rascally old man and didn’t change his ways much. He disappeared a lot, but when he came home, he always took care of whatever repairs the house needed before taking off again. Maman refused to give up. She chose to keep us together, even though it had meant a lot of sacrifices. She did it all herself—one lone woman—and we grew up relatively happy. Poor, but happy. And luck played only a bit part, chouchou. It was mostly what she made of life. Like you did. She saw a window and went through it.”
Vivi rubbed her face against Jazz’s rough palm, imagining him as a child. She had this picture of him and all his sisters and brother, happily skipping to school and doing what families do. It was just a fantasy on her part. His background wasn’t that much different from hers. It wasn’t just poverty. It was the way they had both grown up knowing there was more out there than what was being offered. It was that knowledge which had spurred her to escape that night so long ago.
As if he heard her thoughts, Jazz continued, “Many thought my maman couldn’t make it, told her to give her kids away, told her she could then move into town and look for a man there. But she refused to see things the way others did. And if you think about it, Vivi, so did you. And you can’t blame yourself that others didn’t. Your friend. Even Rose. You can only protect them as much as you can, but sooner or later, they have to survive on their own. And Sia-Sia did survive, as you just recently found out.”
“That’s the soldier talking,” she told him. “You can’t give a kid a weapon and tell him to jump into battle.”
Jazz sighed. “Tell that to the two kids my men were assigned to take out in the jungle not too long ago. It was a shock to see them, sitting there in the dark, using their weapons like any grown men. They were probably only nine or ten, yet they had a whole group of grown ups at their beck and call. Life is what you make it, chouchou. I choose this life. I cannot go around thinking of those kids as just kids...because they aren’t. What I’m saying is—there are different options to survive. Look at you again, hmm? When you were alone, all by yourself, and really, really hungry and frightened, and you had no one to turn to, not that mythical daddy or even your best friend, and you were tempted, desperately tempted, at the idea of joining those girls with the pushed-up bras, standing outside those strip joints, why didn’t you?”
Vivi remembered that feeling of hunger very well. In the woods all alone. Then in strange towns as she made her way toward the border. The hunger pangs were never far behind. And each town, with its women sitting on the stools outside the bars, with the money she saw exchanging hands, had tempted her.
“A man,” she said, frowning in sudden recollection of a distant memory, “came up to me one day while I was standing in the shadows staring at the bright lights and the smells of food coming toward me. He asked, ‘Are you hungry?’ I told him yes and that I was going to walk into that place any second now. I think I was probably half dreaming when I said it. I was so damn tired of everything. But he tapped me hard on the shoulder, and made me turn around. ‘No, no, you don’t want to do that, little girl,’ he’d said. ‘Here, take this money and go get yourself some food. And go on, get out of this place.’ I did. And somehow made my way close to the border.”
Vivi shrugged. There had been kind people who had helped her. This man—his words somehow had stuck in her brain. Little girl, he’d called her. And she had repeated it to herself that night when she’d taken shelter under a stairway. Little girl.
“It’s a sane voice in the dark, chouchou. I’ve heard it once or twice myself, someone who said something that registered, pulling me back from a bad idea. That man did you a favor but he didn’t physically stop you, did he?”
“No.”
“And so it’s the same way with you and every one you help out. You can be just a voice, among many, and if they choose to listen, what you’re saying will register.”
Vivi shifted and lifted her head. “You won’t get a big head if I say you’re a pretty wise man, will you? Who taught you all this stuff?”
He chuckled sleepily. “It’s like music, chouchou. You’ve to listen closely to different instruments, especially in jazz. Every sound is unique and some of them stand out. Like yours. Do you know you have the sweetest music following you around?”
“Oh yes, of course, big cymbals and grinding electric guitar,” Vivi teased. The man was a musician. He would always see things differently from her. But she liked the world viewed through his eyes.
“No, that’s only you when you have a few dozen goats around you.” He paused. “I don’t suppose you’ll bring in any animals with you and this Armando guy during your operation? I don’t trust him. Are you sure his saying Sia-Sia is alive is true?”
He was trying so hard not to show his worry. Vivi found herself smiling. Somehow, he’d made her feel better, in spite of all that had happened. It was her turn to reassure him.
“I agreed to do this only because T checked him out thoroughly. Getting his sister out and seeing Sia-Sia...he assured me she’s okay.” Armando hadn’t offered any more information. She suspected he didn’t want to share all the details because something bad had happened to her friend. It didn’t matter. She would find out soon enough. “I’ll be okay, Jazz. I’ve done extractions before.”
He gathered her in his arms again. This time, his hug was tightly possessive.
“I don’t want anything to happen to you, that’s all,” he said.
He cares about me. She was touched. Remembering all he had done since they met, it warmed her to know how much he cared. And she also realized she’d begun to care for him too. For the first time she felt ready to take a step into the future, that maybe she could share it with this man.
She reached up. Kissed him. “I hear us making some sexy music,” she told him, moving suggestively against him.
“I always obey a voice in the dark,” he said.
***
During the drive back into town, Stefan made several calls on his cell.
“The transaction went through. He did well. Good training.” He gave the man driving beside him a quick nod. “He made a good impression. Yes, I’m heading there right now.” He frowned at the new information. He thought about it for a few moments. “How long a distraction? I’ll find a way. Let me think about it some more. He can fill you in on the details later.”
When he ended the call, he said, “Take a left. We’re taking the scenic route. Then you can drop me at the Triad mansion.”
It was late by the time Stefan reached Yeekoh’s place. He knew the man didn’t like to be kept waiting but it couldn’t be helped. He needed the extra hour to plot out the newest strategy. It was always risky when unexpected new elements appeared. He would have to be extra careful. He followed the guard into a large living room.
“Dilaver has expressed a desire to meet with you, Yeekoh, to straighten things out. He doesn’t seem too trusting right now and I don’t blame him. After all, he lost a number of his men recently. He thinks it’s you.”
The Triad brother didn’t look at Stefan. He was engrossed in watching a porno movie on the big screen television. “What do you think of this?” he asked, nodding toward the show, as he flicked cigarette ash onto the floor.
Stefan sat down on the sofa, his back to the screen. “Kids don’t interest me, Yeekoh.”
“You should expand your smuggling activities. There is big money in kiddie porn, especially with Westerners coming here to get their little excitement, huh?” Yeekoh laughed at his own wit. “They can’t get it where they’re at, so they fly over here. I have a whole travel agency working over in the States through my brother, you know. We book tours for those with special interests.”
“I have no interest in pedophiles either,” Stefan said quietly.
The other man finally looked up, his eyes assessing. “You’re already in an illegal business, my brother. There is no need to start calling our clients names.”
Stefan returned the gaze steadily. “I don’t make excuses for what I do, Yeekoh. Women and children appear to be your specialty, let’s leave it at that.” And drugs and gambling. But he wasn’t here to discuss these things with the Triad brother. He was only interested in getting him to make a move about Dilaver and his weapons. “Dilaver still has the weapons. You have told me that you want to diversify. Since these are the same weapons you wanted in the first place, are you still interested? You’re going to need to renegotiate with him.”
But Yeekoh appeared to be in the mood to talk about other things. “Speaking of want, are you interested in my sister? Alissa is a very attractive woman, don’t you agree?”
“Alissa is a very beautiful and smart woman,” Stefan said noncommittally.
Yeekoh smiled, showing yellowing teeth. “Yes, my father was very fond of her, too. Her ability to communicate in English attracts many clients on the Internet. And she does look quite beautiful naked. A bit too voluptuous, especially as she begins to get older. I sometimes miss her younger body, when she was less...developed. She does have a knack at training the young ones we get in, though.” He looked at the screen again. His voice became far away, almost dreamy. “You should watch her at it sometimes. So...stimulating. That’s why we let her run this side of the business. She brings in money.” He paused to take a drag from his cigarette. Exhaling a plume of smoke, he added softly, “She’s gotten quite fond of you, Stefan. I like to make my sister happy, and since you make her happy, I want to make you an offer.”
Stefan didn’t say anything. There was a minute of silence broken only by the moans coming from the TV.
Yeekoh’s brows shot up. “Not interested?”
“You haven’t offered anything yet.”
“Ah, a careful man. That’s why I like you, Stefan. I just want to be sure of your intentions, since she is so precious to us here. She has this illusion you want her for yourself, set her up as your mistress or something. Is this true?”
Stefan studied the other man for a few moments. “It hasn’t crossed my mind,” he replied. “Besides, she is Yeekoh’s sister, a family member of the Triads.”
It went without saying that one didn’t just set up a member of the Triads as one’s mistress. Stefan knew playing with one of the favored female siblings’ affections was a risk but he’d targeted Alissa precisely because of her background and her connection to the brother.
“I was going to offer her to you for marriage, Stefan. You can be part of the family and be in charge of the gunrunning for us. That way, my sister will also be happy and won’t decide to move off with you somewhere. What do you say?”
The glint in Yeekoh’s eyes betrayed his cunning. Stefan knew the other man was trying to corner him. His sources and connections would be very valuable to this brother trying to gain more power among his brothers. If he agreed to the proposition, it would mean working for Yeekoh and no one else, essentially cutting off his freedom to do business with any rival clans, or moving in and out among others without them knowing he owed his allegiance to the Triads. To say no would be an insult. The Triads didn’t take insults lightly.
Stefan smiled. He had a few days to make the next move in this game yet, and he had no intention of losing his freedom. When this was over, he would be gone from the region.
“An offer so well thought out should be honored by an equally thought-out response,” he said. “I like doing one business at a time. When you agreed to take that shipment of drugs off my hands, I owed you a favor, which I intend to first accomplish. You wanted to find out where Dilaver is. I have him and he has the weapons. I can set up a meeting between you two and you can get this unfinished business out of the way. You’ll need me for an interpreter—I don’t trust the one he’s using. Once that’s done, we’re even, aren’t we, Yeekoh? Then I can pay proper attention to this new business proposition you just made.”
Yeekoh’s answer was a satisfied smile. He nodded. He snuffed out his cigarette and cracked his fingers, ordering one of his men to turn the television volume down. “Very well. I shall tell Alissa the good news. Now, let’s talk about Dilaver. Why is he behaving like an idiot? I thought he and I could do business, but one little attack and he’s in hiding. These Europeans aren’t used to gang wars, I suppose. Did you reassure him that it wasn’t my men?”
“He wants to meet you, doesn’t he?”