CHAPTER 13

A thousand excuses to say no melted in the heat of Hawk’s gaze. There was a certain look a man gave that could make a woman weak in the knees. Determined. Focused. Undressing. The eyes of a predator on what was his to take. And plenty of time to do it. Hawk had that look in his eyes. A tingle of anticipation ran down Amber’s spine at the thought of the intent behind that gaze.

There was something implacable in the way he held her in his arms, as if he had every right to do as he wanted. Each step echoed the drumbeat of her heart, up the stairs, through the small landing, past her small apartment kitchen, inexorably toward her bedroom door. He didn’t pause, his gaze holding hers captive, moving so nimbly as if she only weighed fifteen instead of a hundred and fifteen pounds, until he reached his goal. He nudged it open with a foot.

Amber knew that once he stepped through the doorway, it would be too late to say no. And she should, she really should. A thousand excuses and none of them popped up on her lips as she stared into his golden eyes...that look banishing every one of them to some other place in her mind, replacing them with unspoken promises that quickened her breath.

Hawk walked into her bedroom. Kicked the door shut.

And she was right. There was no more time to think as his head dipped down and he started kissing her immediately. She’d never been kissed this way before, seemingly in midair, her head tucked against a man’s heart as his lips locked on hers ferociously. Not releasing her lips, he slowly lowered her back onto her feet, her body sliding against his hard one, and she found her arms still around his neck as she stood on tiptoe. She gasped as his hands cupped her buttocks and molded them possessively, sexually. His fingers went between the cheeks, going lower, seeking intimately. She heard a distinct tear. His fingers were immediately inside her. Moving. Sliding. Going to the next target.

Amber thought she was weak in the knees before. She was wrong. She was under siege. Her legs parted helplessly and she lost her already precarious footing. He ignored her as she tried to free her lips, stumbling about to find her balance. It only gave him easier access to what he wanted and she gasped again as his other hand moved to a frontal attack, tearing her pants apart like a piece of rag.

“I like a woman who doesn’t wear underwear,” he said, his voice low and seductive, as he started walking her backward.

He backed her into a nearby wall and she grabbed his shoulders in startled surprise as he lifted her up again. It occurred to her that he wasn’t just keeping her physically off balance; he was also doing it to her mentally. She was unable to think or say anything; she hung on and let him take over.

“This is our position,” he murmured in her ear. She heard the sound of a zipper being undone. “I’m going to take you like this first. Teach you to do it right next time.”

“Right?” That was all she managed as he pushed against her. Oh, Lord. She had felt that before. Only he’d been semi-aroused then. He felt as big as he’d looked that first time she had seen him naked in the dark. She gripped his arms, digging her fingers into the coiled muscles.

“The right way to do it,” he said, penetrating her softness with slow accuracy, “is without anything on.”

Amber wrapped her legs around his waist as he drove the point home. He slid in, settling his body between her open legs, pushing her hard against the wall. He was deep inside her at the first thrust, his hands holding her firmly around her waist. He pushed her higher up the wall, his hands sliding from her waist to her hips, warm against her thighs, his fingers invading the soft flesh of her labia, opening her wider.

He slid out slightly. Thrust in again, his thumbs pressing down on her sensitive flesh in tandem with the glide of his thick penis.

“Ohhhh!” Amber felt all her strength leave her as molten hot pleasure shot up through her system. Her hands fell away from his shoulders as he rocked into her again and again, relentless in his assault, teasing the sensitive flesh around her clitoris. As he brought her higher and higher, he felt impossibly bigger. She wrapped her legs as tight as she could, holding on for dear life, as he thrust hard inside her and trapped her against the wall.

She heard another rip. He had torn off the front of her shirt. His head bent and she felt the brush of his hair against her cheek and caught his earthy masculine scent as he took her right nipple into his mouth and bit gently.

Amber gave a cry, jerking forward. He was so deep inside her now. His mouth on her breast. One hand massaging the other nipple. His other hand still on her hip, moving in slow sensual circles, making her whimper every time he stopped. His hips undulating hard as he flexed inside her.

His teeth caught her nipple again and she heard soft cries escaping her lips as she started coming, her whole body uncontrollably shuddering with a white-hot pleasure she had never felt before.

When she opened her eyes, she was on her back on the floor. She couldn’t remember how she’d gotten there. He looked so big from this angle. His golden eyes gleamed down at her as she stared up, her breath still hitching. She heard more than felt the rest of her pants being torn.

“Second position,” he said, “except I think this time I want the taste of you in me instead of some drug.”

Before her mind grasped his meaning, he’d pulled out and his mouth was already between her legs, his tongue exactly where it should be. She reached out in helpless wonder as he opened her wider for his feasting. His rough stubble scraped the insides of her thighs as his tongue did things she hadn’t thought possible. His hands caressed her exposed tummy, the pads of his fingers finding every erogenous spot. Stretching down, she shaped his dark head between her hands, urging him to go faster. She gave a strangled cry when he scraped his teeth against the soft flesh, a gentle warning of his current mood, that he was doing the taking.

And he was taking his time as his tongue slowed to a frustrating glide, pushing her to the limits, only to flutter back down. Release. So close.... She urgently reached down again, then stopped when his mouth lifted away from that so important place.

“I didn’t touch you while you looked at my body,” he whispered. “You aren’t allowed right now.”

“I didn’t touch your body!” Amber managed to gasp out.

“How would I know? I was out.” His tongue teased her in between sentences. “You could have been licking me all over.”

“But...I...didn’t.” He had taken command of all her senses. She couldn’t think about anything but what he was doing to her.

“Don’t believe you.” He bit her thigh, then ran his tongue tantalizingly closer to where she really wanted him to lick. She groaned when he paused. “I had a hard-on then, you know. I didn’t have one when I woke up. Did you do this? Or this?” He jerked away from her desperate hands. “No touching, or I stop.”

Amber clawed at the carpet in desperation, using her legs to push her hips upward. Into his face. There. She moaned again when he just softly kissed her, somehow adding to the torment. She pushed up even higher, demanding more pressure. He peered up at her, his eyes glinting with deviltry, knowing what she wanted.

“Was this what you did the other night, getting yourself all excited while I was on top of you?” His hands went under her hips and she gasped as he cupped her bottom roughly. “I remember those legs wrapped around me tightly before I fell on top of you. You couldn’t have moved without feeling some pleasure, honey.”

His head dipped and he demonstrated what he meant. Amber squeezed the soft tufts of carpet on each side of her as his tongue and mouth kneaded her sensitive nub with the skill of a master at work at his craft. His fingers slid inside her deeply, even as his busy tongue imitated the upward movement, an arc of heat rising from her loins all the way into her chest.

Amber could hear herself starting to beg for release, stopped herself, then, unable to stand it any longer, started again as those fingers and lips and tongue continued their intimate massage, moving in and out, over and downward. Half-formed words mingled with little gasps as she strained against his mouth, the heated pressure building into a kaleidoscope of sensation.

Without warning, he jammed his tongue hard against her core. Amber’s mouth opened, a silent scream forming as the first orgasmic wave locked all her muscles. He pushed her legs higher with his shoulders and his tongue delved deeper into her, as if he could drink her whole soul as she gave herself.

Hawk McMillan, Amber was discovering, knew a lot of different ways to make a woman weak in the knees.

She was melting hot in his mouth, coming apart with the sweetest sounds to his ears. He had been hungry for this—a woman in the throes of real passion, letting him pleasure her any way he wanted. A real woman to make love to.

That was what Hawk wanted. He couldn’t explain the tension pulling like an arrow stretched on a bow inside him. All he knew was that he needed a release, something that would take away the hurt inside. His control was at breaking point. If he didn’t do something, he would kill Dilaver and his men. In the darkest hour, between anger and loathing, Amber had called to him. And he wanted to be with her.

It was so good to hear a woman scream in pleasure, rather than in fear. Hawk had missed having a woman with whom he could have the kind of sex he enjoyed—a little rough, a little kinky, and a lot foreplay. He had found her. He wasn’t going to relinquish her for a long while.

Her thighs clamped around his neck and he forced them apart again with his shoulders, straightening her legs so she couldn’t use her strength. “Did you look at me like I’m looking at you now?” he murmured. She was wet and swollen, pink and aroused, and damn tempting. “Did you touch me, feel how hard I was?”

Eyes closed, she shook her head restlessly and trembled when he touched her gently with a finger. He wanted her to come again. He needed to see her hot for him, moaning in pleasure. Part of him was taking an insane delight in exacting revenge for the way she had attacked him that first night; part of him was ridiculously happy to have a willing and satiated woman in his care. The coiled tension that had been growing inside him the last few days pulled at him still—

He pushed away those dark images that rose up. Need. He ran his knuckles lightly over her swollen nub, pulling at the hood. Her body reacted immediately and her eyes opened wide, an electric blue fire that made him hot for her. And there wasn’t any hurt in them, just pure desire. He needed to see more of it.

“Hawk...”

His name came out like a caress. He gave her a slow smile as he continued playing with her, her wetness making it easy to glide his knuckles with long, slow strokes over and over. He’d started out just needing her, but now he wanted her to need him too. Her breathing was uneven again. Those beautiful blue eyes became pools of soft womanly need. No fear in them at all. He wanted to drown in them.

“You do know what the third position is, don’t you?” he asked. She licked her lips nervously and he smiled. “Remember? You tied a note around my dick.”

Still caressing her intimately, he climbed over her. “Looking for me?, you wrote in that note.” He nudged her intimately with the hard tip of his penis. She was so wet. The raging tension in him coiled in anticipation. “I believe I just found you, Amber.”

His weight on one elbow, he sank into her slick heat slowly, wanting to feel her take him in. He stroked her with his knuckles and gave a hum of satisfaction as her hips undulated upward, her internal muscles milking him eagerly. Her eyes were mere slits, her mouth parted, her hair like bright sunshine against the dark carpet. She fit around him, tight as a glove.

“Hmm. It feels good to be inside you. I’ve wanted you from the moment I saw you in the restaurant.”

“Not in the dark the first time? You did have a hard-on,” she reminded him, a smile teasing her lips.

“I was thinking of hamburgers.”

“Hamburgers.” She laughed. “You’re turned on by meat?”

He began thrusting into her in leisurely strokes. “Juicy meat.” He licked a corner of his mouth. “Delicious. Hot. Dripping with juice.”

She stared at him. “You’re turning me on with all this talk about hamburger.”

He grinned. “What were you doing a few minutes ago, darling? Reciting poetry?” He flexed deep inside her before withdrawing.

He began to thrust in earnest, closing his eyes. Pressure building. Every push brought him unbearably close. It had been so long, he knew he couldn’t last the first time. He was too eager. Too desperate to be inside her. She deserved more than a sex-hungry fool trying to get months of pent-up emotion out of his system. He had intended to give her some more loving, but a man could only play so long without killing himself. He was close to losing all sense of control as it was, what with her coming so wild and sweet in his mouth. She tasted fine. Deep inside her now, she felt even finer.

Trigger point. When all thought gushed like a mental stream of pleasure, gathered into a ball of energy suspended over some imaginary precipice, and time stood still, as his whole being balanced on the razor-sharp line of consciousness. Hawk gave one final complete thrust. Breath suspended somewhere between lung and throat. He groaned as release came. Tumbled over. Free at last, like a bird floating with the wind. He fell forward, lips finding Amber’s, and she tasted like the finest wine as he came hard into her.

“You know, the last time you were on top of me like this, I needed help to turn you over,” Amber said, her mouth tasting salty male flesh.

He was big and heavy, a satiated sexual animal still inside her. She didn’t know what to say. She’d never had sex on the carpet before. Or against a wall. Or, she noted, in tattered clothes. He’d touched and kissed her with such hunger; it made her shiver just remembering his mouth doing all those naughty things to her again.

“Does that mean we have to call Lily up here?” His voice was lazy now, as if he had momentarily satisfied that dangerous edge she had felt emanating from him. “Ow.”

Amber had bitten him without thinking. The idea that Lily...No, no, she would never allow Lily to ever see him naked again. Hawk McMillan ought to be locked in a jar like a genie, to be summoned by her, and her alone. She ran a hand down his muscular back, shocked at her own possessiveness.

“Never say another woman’s name while you’re naked with me,” she warned.

“I’m not naked.”

True. He hadn’t had his clothes torn apart by a sexual animal. She wanted to explore him as closely as he had her. “Easily remedied. A shower.”

He finally lifted his head and she had to stop the sharp intake of breath. She’d thought he sounded satiated, but he still had that look in his eyes. He sat back on his haunches, pulling his T-shirt over his head. “Okay, fourth position,” he said, voice muffled. He wadded the shirt into a ball and cocked his head. “What is it?”

Amber closed her mouth and blinked. She couldn’t take her eyes away from what had caught her attention. Running through Hawk’s right nipple was a very thin but very real band of gold. She shifted her gaze upward and caught him watching her. The image fit him somehow—a secret pirate—and her eyes shifted back down again, this time a lot lower. With a very big bird boldly jutting out between the vee of his pants. She wanted to see the rest of him.

“Just admiring,” she breathed out. He really was magnificent. His face might look like a male model’s, but that physique didn’t look gym-made. She held several belts in martial arts; she recognized a trained fighter’s body. From the muscle-corded arms to the broad chest to those amazing cuts on his stomach, he was, simply, a fantastic specimen of a man. And all she wanted was to get a closer look at that nipple ring.

“Keep looking like that and we might not make it into the bathroom.” His voice had lowered a notch. “I’m still not quite in control, Amber.”

She caught something underlying in Hawk’s words and returned her gaze to his face. Something had happened in the last few days to him. She was pretty sure of it. Once he’d stepped into her bedroom, he hadn’t even bothered to reach the bed before he’d taken her.

And he had taken her. There was no other word for it. He’d given her the kind of mindless pleasure she’d only read about, had wanted to experience all her life. She was surprised by how emotionally involved it was: To allow a man to take her like that needed a bond of trust, a willingness to let the other person take the lead.

Yet this had been more than that. If he’d just wanted some kind of quickie to slake his male needs, he wouldn’t have taken the time to give her so much pleasure. No, he’d come looking for her because he knew she would understand him.

It was ridiculous. She didn’t know the man. Yet somehow, intrinsically, she’d bonded with and trusted him.

She reached out and touched the half-off pants. “Fourth position?” she said, bringing up what he’d said when he took off his shirt. “I never did anything to you in a shower that night.”

His answering smile made her swallow. “Don’t believe you,” he said, his hands covering hers on his hips. He stood up, pulling her to her feet at the same time. He pushed her hands downward and his pants slid lower until they fell into a pool around his ankles. He stepped out of them.

Amber bit her lower lip as he slid her hands to his front. She automatically fisted around his arousal. His eyes narrowed as she caressed the length of him.

“Is that what you did before tying that note?”

She shook her head. “I was very...careful.” She really had been. She hadn’t touched him as she had looped the cord gently in the dark. Her naughty joke, she realized now, had really pissed him off.

“Don’t believe you,” he repeated, as he squeezed her hands tighter around him.

He was fiery hot in her hands.

He turned and she reluctantly released him as he pulled her by the elbow. He looked totally out of place in her very feminine bathroom, with its candles and figurines decorating the table by the ornate European tub. He turned on the tap and as hot water began filling it, he climbed in and made himself quite at home. In all her life, she’d never seen a sexier picture than a naked man in her tub. She let him pull her in, even though it was a tight fit.

He put a heart-shaped soap in her hand. “Show me how you tied the note,” he invited, turning off the water. She had to smile at the sight of his penis rising up like a mast of a ship at sea. He obviously had more than bathing in mind.

“I didn’t use soap and there was no water involved,” she protested, still smiling.

“Don’t believe you.”

Amber laughed. She could see it was going to take some time to convince Hawk that if she had really touched him the way she now wanted to, he would have remembered it a lot more vividly. She dipped her hands in the water, then soaped her hands until bubbly foam engulfed them.

A few minutes later, he huskily said, “Still don’t believe you. Do that again.”

“Stubborn man,” she observed.

Lily heard laughter coming from Amber’s room as she walked by. She paused in mid-step, her heart falling like a heavy stone. Unmistakably male. Her jaw clenched as she listened to the male voice amid the sounds of water and Amber’s laughter. The bathroom was in the far corner of the house, so she couldn’t make out what was being said.

She had a strange feeling about this. It had started right after her phone call, and she’d never been wrong before.

Brad was coming here for dinner tonight. He was early. The thought of him in there with her friend gutted her like a knife. How could he...but why not? She’d run off the other night, leaving him in a state of need, and a man had to release his frustration somehow, right? And Amber and he were close enough friends....

Lily abruptly turned around. She couldn’t stay here and listen to them having their little private fun in there. She looked at the clock on the wall. Yeah, and she was invited to dinner to talk about the coming interview. She hadn’t answered any of Brad’s or Amber’s calls. They must have concluded that she wasn’t showing up. That was all right. Her appetite had evaporated anyway. She didn’t think she could bear them exchanging intimate glances in front of her while she played third wheel, trying to swallow down food.

You could have had him. She closed her eyes at the memory of Brad and her on the sofa. How he had felt in her hands, how he had tasted. If she’dd given in to her needs and stayed the night, everything would have changed. Her eyes flew open. Therein lay the problem. She didn’t want any changes. She wanted to stay the course. Bradford Sun would change everything for which she’d worked so hard, and she couldn’t afford it.

Perhaps it was better this way. Brad made her feel too damn much. Every time he was around her, she alternately wanted to either hit out at him verbally and physically or grab him by the lapels of his expensive suits and kiss him till she forgot what she was.

What she was...a loud thud brought her attention back to the closed door. And murmurs, mingled with...Lily backed away slowly. She didn’t want to think what those soft sounds meant or what two people could be doing in a small bathroom.

She abruptly turned and retraced her steps back outside. She closed the door quietly behind her and leaned against it, breathing hard. The evening air was cool, yet she felt as if she were standing naked in the dead of winter.

She shook her head violently. No, she wouldn’t think about being naked right now. Too many people were naked around here. She was Lily Noretski and she had sworn never to be naked and cold in any way or form ever again. She had sworn never to feel for anyone or anything. Feelings were for weaklings, and people like her could never be weak. Or they would break. In a million pieces. As she’d done once.

Running down the steps in twos, she headed for her car. It was going to be all right. She was strong. She hadn’t given in to those base feelings that made women weak and men powerful. She didn’t care about Amber having sex with Bradford Sun. She slammed the car door shut, fired up the engine, and jammed on her sunglasses. She looked into the rearview mirror and, taking out her lipstick, she refreshed her lips, making a moue at her reflection.

Sex was nothing. She’d had plenty of that, with anyone she wanted. As long as she didn’t care or take the time to know the man’s body or let him manipulate her feelings, she was all right. She’d come precariously close to doing just that the other night. She almost had allowed herself to enjoy a full orgasm in front of a man, the kind that took all control and thought away. The kind she only had alone. What an idiot. If she’d done that, everything would have changed.

And Lily didn’t want anything changed. She took a deep breath and backed out of the driveway. She had a cause and people like her did not sway from the path. People like her...her lips twisted into a bitter smile as she made a turn onto the road. People like her had no place in that kind of a world.

She pressed Amber’s cell number on her phone. As expected, her friend’s message service came on. She affected cheerfulness in her voice. “Hiya, sweetie. Have an emergency and will probably not be able to make it tonight. Here are some details that you and Brad can discuss if he shows up for dinner....”

Amber lay on top of Hawk in her bed, her face against his chest. They were still damp from the long bath they’d taken. It was the most use of that tub she’d had since moving here four years ago.

“You’re very, very good in the bathtub,” she told him lazily.

His rumble of laughter echoed in her ear. “Your being triple-jointed helped, honey.”

She bit his chest. “You liked that, huh?”

“Baby, you can reach back that way in a tight space and move your sexy butt again anytime.” His hand covered her derriere. “I love your ass. So perfectly round and silky. With enough meat for little bites. And the little tattoo on the right side near your thigh drives me crazy. Why did you choose to have one there?”

Heat rose in her face. “You sound like you’re talking about food,” she said lightly.

“And I was doing quite a bit of eating,” he teased. “That trail of little roses that led the way. I felt like Hansel and Gretel eating bread crumbs.”

He caressed the spot where she had her tattoo. “There you go with food again,” she said.

Using his other hand, Hawk nudged her up into a sitting position, her thighs spread on either side of him. She looked down at him, enjoying his nakedness as much as he was hers. He traced the pattern of the flowers high up on her thigh, his finger following each rose until the stem disappeared.

“You must have done this during a vacation.”

She expelled a breath when his fingers moved lower. “How do you know?”

“It was just an assumption. You must have shaved for the bikini,” he said, and his smile was very wicked. “I’m just trying to imagine you lying there spread out for the tattoo guy.”

Amber flushed. “It was a biker festival,” she told him.

“A biker party, huh? Interesting. Somehow I don’t see you as a biker mama, Amber.”

She laughed. “It was the most rebellious thing the daughter of missionaries could think of to do, although to this day my parents really don’t know about the tattoo. Just that I spent a whole weekend with bikers.” She laughed again at the memory. “My girlfriends and I wanted to put our tattoos somewhere sinful. The tattoo place was run by a couple, and the woman there suggested this.”

“I like it. It makes me want to go down on you again.” His gaze traveled intimately up her body. By the time it reached her eyes, her whole body was on fire from his leisurely inspection. “Shave for me. I want to see the rest of it.”

“What do I get in return?” The sight of his tanned hand on her fair skin was erotic.

“I remember another position you owe me.”

She leaned forward, putting her hands on his shoulders. “For an unconscious man, you seemed to remember all kinds of things I supposedly did to your body.”

His lips quirked. “You mean to say you didn’t climb on top and take advantage of me, like you’re going to right now?”

“I didn’t climb...I know, I know, you don’t believe me.” He was already positioning her. “Hawk, if I were doing all those things, shouldn’t you let me be in charge?”

“Later.”

He was too sure of himself. He opened his legs, effectively widening her thighs. There was the sensation of pressure as he guided himself inside her with one hand and pushed her down on him with another.

“You’re a control freak,” she whispered as she slid down on him.

“Yes.”

She ignored the arrogance of his reply as she enjoyed the thick feel of him. He lay there contentedly as she adjusted to an easy rhythm. She could feel his eyes watching her as she abandoned herself to enjoyment. He trailed his fingers along her tattoo as she moved up and down, not quite touching her, just enough to make her go a little faster.

The shrill ring from her private line cut through her haze of pleasure. Her eyes darted to the phone on the night table by them. The tone told her it was the direct line linked to her study. Shit. She caught sight of the time on the alarm clock. Shit, shit. Brad. She’d forgotten about the dinner. He sometimes called her from the study when he got in early.

Hawk didn’t stop her from answering the phone, but his hands on her thighs made it impossible for her to disengage her body from hers. She leaned over to get the phone.

“Hello? Hi...Brad.” She almost lost balance as Hawk began to sit up. She held on to the phone tightly. “I’m fine, just running a little...late.”

Amber couldn’t do anything as Hawk pushed her back against his raised thighs. Just in time, she stopped the moan that rose in her throat as he thrust upward. She glared up at him. His eyes had an unmistakable glint in them.

She cleared her throat again. “No, no, I’ll be down there soon.” She ignored, or tried to, the hands cupping her breasts. He leaned forward and she jerked forward at the feel of his mouth on her nipple. This time she couldn’t stop her gasp. “Oh! I mean, have some...wine.”

She slapped at the teasing hand traveling down from her ribcage, but there wasn’t much room to maneuver, not when she was trying to have a conversation at the same time. She leaned back helplessly against Hawk’s thighs as his thumb mercilessly began its external assault. Sitting on him, impaled, there was no escape. And Brad was asking about Lily.

“Don’t know.” Her voice came out breathless and high. “I’ll come down...soon.”

She hit the off button. Just in time. Her assailant turned over suddenly. If she had still been on the phone, Brad would have definitely heard the telltale squeak of bedsprings as Hawk began his assault.

She stared up. He had a devilishly satisfied expression on his face.

“I’ll come down soon,” he mimicked her words. He leaned forward and his kiss was hard and hungry. Possessive. “Come for me first, baby.”