Chapter Twenty-Five

Reese’s new apartment was tiny and had no yard, or even a balcony. There was nowhere for a garden or potted plants. No place to take long walks without running into other people. And no pets allowed. It would’ve been nice to at least have Stormy for company.

One bright spot was her new friend, Greer Robinson, the lovely woman responsible for training her. She was old enough to be her grandmother, but young at heart, and quickly becoming a good friend. She’d taken her under her wing and was teaching her about navigating the travel and demands of the business. Learning the ins and outs of her job was exciting and challenging, and her schedule kept her mind busy for many hours of the day.

She pulled out a loaf of bread and peanut butter as a siren blared outside her third-story window, reminding her she was in the middle of a huge city, alone. It had been two weeks, and she wanted to call James, but he hadn’t tried to contact her. She hated how they’d left things unfinished, like a half-built house, deteriorating with each drop of rain. Some days she couldn’t separate the mix of love and hollow dejection.

Reese missed Cypress Creek, the ranch, and most of all…James. And hearing his deep voice reading The One for Her. Again, she’d left her book behind with the ending unknown, the MacLachlan mystery unsolved.

And half of her heart.

The butter knife clattered into the tiny metal sink. Cooking for two in the ranch house kitchen had been a joy, but the miniscule space in her apartment was a walk-in closet with a mini-fridge and a two-burner stove. Takeout had become a new staple, if she ate at all.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I’m tired of being all woe is me. Enough moping.

It was time to dig deep and find her spark. Get back to the business of living. This was her big opportunity, and she’d give her new home a chance, enjoy the experiences, and seize the moments.

Great pep talk, Reese. Now you just gotta follow through.

With her cold sandwich in hand, she flopped onto her tiny sofa. Ouch.

Make that tiny and hard. As a rock.

Her stomach tightened and she wasn’t sure if it was in protest of another sandwich or because she was in love. Painfully in love and separated from James by too many miles and the vast distance that had grown between their hearts.

She picked up the framed photo of Grandmother Sara that she kept on her coffee table beside the old, leather-bound journal that had been gifted to her in the will. Reese held the photo to her heart.

Grandmother, please show me a path to happiness.

…

Grams came in the kitchen door as James poured his second cup of coffee and finished his toast. His grandparents had started coming out to the ranch almost daily.

“Good morning,” she said.

“Morning.” He got out another mug and poured a cup for her. “You’re here early today.”

“We watched the sunrise from Celts Oak. Grandpa is admiring the new colt, but he’ll be in soon.” She took the coffee and sat at the table. “You seem to be getting a late start.”

“I didn’t get much sleep.”

“How’s Reese liking her new job?”

He leaned against the counter and ducked his head, embarrassed to admit how things had ended between them. “I’m not sure.”

“Well, does she sound happy? When is the last time you spoke to her?”

“In this kitchen, before she left.”

“But it’s been weeks. Why haven’t you talked?”

Twelve days since he’d made her mad enough to leave without a proper goodbye. “She’s off traveling the world.”

Her eyes caught him with a laser-point stare. “Jamie, what happened?”

“We fought. I went to Mom’s grave to think, and when I got back, she was gone. If she’d wanted to stay with me, she wouldn’t have taken the job.” She’d left a goodbye letter and moved on with her life and dreams. Without him. And he couldn’t blame her one bit.

“I’m not going to ask what you fought about, but I am going to ask if you gave her a reason to stay.”

He dropped his plate into the sink with too much force and it cracked. “Son of a bitch.” He hung his head and sighed. “Sorry about the plate, and the cursing.”

“Come sit with me, please.”

He sat across from her and finally admitted the truth, both to her and to himself. “No, I didn’t give her a reason to stay. I was working up to asking her if she’d consider staying in Cypress Creek when she announced she got the job. I didn’t want to mess that up for her. I had to let her go.”

“So she left on bad terms, not knowing you’d be happy if she stayed?”

“I screwed up. She probably thinks I wanted her to go. At the cemetery, I decided to apologize and tell her she had a home with me if she ever wanted to return. When I got back, she was already gone.”

“No wonder you’ve been such a mopey bear. I thought it was because you missed her. Just tell her how you feel. Listen with your heart.”

A tingle ran along his spine and his head snapped up with a feeling of déjà vu. Great-Grandpa Angus had said the same thing in the dream with the crying baby. And so had Mrs. Walschak a few months ago.

But his heart was being bullheaded. And his head kept hoping a clean break would ease the heartache. No such luck.

That afternoon, James heard a crash from the kitchen and walked in to find a scene fit for a cartoon. A gray kitten chased a brown dog around the table, a broken plate and his lunch scattered across the floor. He opened the back door and motioned to Sampson. The hound hung his head and trotted out the door, followed by Stormy.

He ignored the mess. No one else was there to care about the crappy cold sandwich smashed on the hardwood with a paw print pressed into the center. His mood was beyond foul, but Grams had been right. It was time for him to do something about the way they’d left things. He sat at the table, pulled out his phone, and started a text message. He wrote, deleted, and then repeated the process over and over. Finally, he typed and sent two words.

“I’m sorry.”

James stepped out of Tavish’s stall as Finn came into the barn. He raised a hand in greeting. “Hey, sorry I haven’t been around much lately.”

“I understand. I brought burgers from Givens Diner.”

“Great, I’m starved.” James followed his friend toward the house, weary to the bone, physically and mentally. “How’s work?”

“Not very challenging.”

“Since you already have combat medic experience and some of the courses completed, you should get a physician assistant license and go into practice with your Uncle Drake.”

Finn shrugged. “That’s the same thing he said. I’ll look into it.”

Once they settled at the kitchen table, Finn glanced at the remains of James’s lunch on the floor. “Now I know why you’re hungry. Have you talked to Reese yet?”

“Nope. But I sent her a text message earlier.” He poured a shot of whiskey from the bottle on the table and downed it in one gulp.

Finn whistled through his teeth and shook his head. “Better take it easy with that stuff. How’d Reese respond?”

“She hasn’t. We never got the chance to discuss what our relationship would look like or if it would even continue. One minute we were building something, then she was gone. Off following her dreams.”

“Wasn’t she already up for that job before you hooked up?”

“I think we both ignored that fact. She talked like she wouldn’t actually get it. I secretly hoped she’d get something closer.”

“Did you tell her you love her?”

“What makes you think I love her?”

Finn flashed his are-you-kidding-me expression and unwrapped his burger. “Bro, you were starting to think about having a family with her.”

“She hit me with the news she was leaving before I could tell her.”

“Do you think if you’d told her and asked her to stay, it would’ve made a difference?”

“I couldn’t do that. It’s a job she’s always dreamed of and thought she’d never get, and I told her once that I would never try to hold her back. If she turned it down for me, she’d resent me. This is why I avoided relationships for so many years.” He emptied the shot glass in one gulp. “I could’ve accidentally started a family with her.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It’s what we were fighting about the day she left. I thought she was taking birth control, but her doctor took her off the pill.”

“Why?”

His head jerked up and worry entered the picture. “I don’t know. You think something’s wrong with her?”

“Not necessarily,” Finn said. “There are plenty of reasons she could’ve stopped.”

“I was so freaked out I didn’t even think to ask why.”

“Do you think she was trying to get pregnant?”

James rubbed his face and sighed. “I don’t think so. Not with the job she wanted waiting in the wings. But I kind of accused her of that exact thing. Which is why she left so suddenly, without saying goodbye.” He held up a hand. “I know, don’t say it. It was fucking stupid of me to get so upset when I was considering starting a family.”

Finn blew out a breath and cracked his neck. “Think she loves you, too?”

He tossed up his hands and brought them down to thump the table. “If she did, she probably doesn’t after the way I’ve acted on several occasions. I’ve blown through too many chances. And how can a long-distance relationship ever work?”

“Don’t know. Never tried it.”

“Wait, aren’t you the one who suggested we try a long-distance thing?”

Finn shrugged. “I don’t always know what I’m talking about.”

James huffed out a quick laugh. “She’s off chasing her dreams and slipping further away every day. I need to make a clean break, deal with the pain, then get on with my life like she’s doing.”

“You could but think about it. It’s not every day you get a chance at love.”

James downed another shot of whiskey.

“You can’t keep going like this,” Finn said and pointed at the bottle. “Trust me.”

“Does that mean you’re finally ready to talk about what’s going on with you?”

“Yes. If you still feel like listening.”

“Whenever and for however long you need, brother.”

…

Reese finally got to a spot where her cell reception reconnected, and her phone dinged with messages. She sucked in a sharp breath when she saw James’s name on the screen and sat down hard on the tree stump behind her. The weight of her camera suddenly felt like too much. The beautiful scenery of Sequoia National Forest did nothing to calm her racing—and hopeful—heart.

She opened the message, and it didn’t take but a split second to read.

“I’m sorry.”

A split second for her happy mood to swing back to missing him. “Oh, James… What am I supposed to do with you?” she whispered.

What was he sorry for? Being an ass? Not wanting her? How they’d ended things? Because she struggled with all of them. Her fingers hovered over the keypad as she debated how to respond. She typed out several different messages and deleted all of them. She could say something that would end everything between them for good, or she could see if he wanted to be… What could they be?

“Reese, the jeep is almost here to pick us up,” Greer said. “What’s wrong?”

“Message from my…” What should she even call him? Her ex-boyfriend, summer lover? “A guy I was seeing right before I took this job.”

Greer gracefully lowered and sat crisscross on the ground beside her. “From the look on your face, I’m guessing it’s not a good message. And I’m also going to venture a guess that he’s the reason you’ve turned down the plethora of men who have hit on you.”

“I’m not ready to date.”

“Tell me about him,” Greer said.

Reese typed out a short response and then put her phone away.