Chapter Twenty-Six

A few more weeks passed, and James had thought about what Grams and Finn said, but Reese’s response to his “I’m sorry” text message had been a brief “Me, too.” The right way to word another message hadn’t presented itself. Still, he’d tried calling Reese, but every time, he hung up before it even rang. He didn’t know what to say and ended up putting it off for another day, and then another. But this evening, fortified by drink, he pulled out his phone and gave it one more shot. He let it ring but it went to voicemail, and he didn’t leave a message.

“Coward,” he growled.

Thanks to his hurtful reaction on the day Reese left, the long-distance scenario he’d once thought would be the perfect part-time relationship was nothing but torture. Another bad dream had disturbed his sleep and James lay in a hammock in the backyard. The cool November breeze tossed his too-long, shaggy hair. Sampson crept over and curled up on the ground. Stormy followed closely behind and nudged her head under a floppy ear. They moped around as much as he did.

Missing her came in waves, like a sneak attack rolling up from behind when he least expected it and flattening him. At least he had things to keep him busy, but there was little joy. He felt the loss of Reese like a physical ache. He was cranky and snapping at people and had to apologize frequently. The only time he was able to smile and mean it was when Davy and a few other children came out for their horse therapy.

He especially felt her absence in the bed that was now too big. She wasn’t there to soothe him with her touch, and bad dreams tormented his nights.

Falling dreams, trapped dreams, broken dreams.

…

Reese’s alarm clock blared, and she woke sweating, then began to shiver, wrapping and unwrapping her indecisive body like an overworked burrito. The cramping in her abdomen had gotten worse ever since her airplane landed from Boston. Seemed like every time she flew it flared up. Only a few more days to wait until her appointment with her new doctor. Dragging herself from bed took more energy than she wanted to exert, but she managed a quick shower before work. At least she didn’t have to travel today.

Her desk faced a window that looked out on the Chicago skyline. Coworkers hustled around getting morning coffee and starting their day. There were many aspects of the work she loved, and she was smiling more, but her whole heart still wasn’t in her work. She recalled the first horse therapy session and how happy James had been to share it with her. Her accomplishments didn’t have all the shine she had imagined without someone special to share them. She sighed deeply and rubbed her temples, unable to stop thinking about the missed call from James, but he’d left no message.

If only I hadn’t gone to Cypress Creek and fallen in love.

She flipped through her calendar, taking a moment to celebrate some of the places she’d photographed. California’s giant sequoia trees, caves in Italy, the unimaginable beauty of Iceland, and Hadrian’s Wall in England. But every time she boarded a plane, she secretly hoped it would fly her to Texas. Time away from Cypress Creek had drifted by at a crawl. Hours to days to weeks. The day would come when she didn’t think of James, but that time hadn’t yet arrived.

“Good morning,” Greer said.

She turned her swivel chair and attempted to smile, but it came out as a grimace.

Greer’s eyes narrowed, and she stepped closer. “Are you okay?”

“I’m not feeling so good today.” Who was she trying to fool? The pain was getting worse by the second.

“I can see that. You’re pale as snow and sweating.” She put her hand on Reese’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever, but I’m taking you to the doctor.”

Reese stood. “Maybe just home—” She doubled over and fought for breath. “On second thought”—she gasped—“doctor.” She dropped back into her chair as pain like she’d never felt slashed across her stomach.

Greer’s face appeared before her and cold hands held her face. “What’s happening? Tell me what hurts.”

“My stomach. Please, help me.” The desperation in her voice brought on tears of fear.

Someone strong lifted her into their arms and started moving quickly. The movement of the car caused pain she envisioned as a battle fought with clanging swords and battle-axes. Reality blurred. Bits and pieces of conversations and too many questions bombarded her.

Finally, she was placed on a bed and all the jostling stopped, but the excruciating pain persisted like fire.

A pretty, middle-aged woman appeared and introduced herself. “Ms. Turner, I’m Dr. Hunter. Tell me what’s going on. Are you pregnant?”

“No.” She tossed her head and moaned in pain. “But I want a baby. Please tell me it’s not too late.”

Reese woke after surgery and lay as still as possible in the sterile hospital bed. Each movement was like barbed wire twisting around her insides. The largest cyst had ruptured and been the cause of the mind-numbing pain. Dr. Hunter had performed laparoscopic surgery, and thankfully she still had both ovaries and all her parts intact. There was still a chance to have a baby. The only thing lacking was a father.

Her new friends had been a great help, but no one who loved her was there to hold her hand. Her parents were still overseas. Her mother wanted to come, but by the time she could get to an airport and make the long flight, Reese would be home. She’d told her mom to stay, and she’d see her when they returned to the states in a couple of weeks.

Loneliness had a unique pain all its own. Not the sharp fierce pain of physical trauma, but an odd combination of being smothered while standing naked before the world. She pushed the button on her IV drip, praying it wasn’t too soon for another dose of narcotics. After a few minutes, the warm numbing started taking effect. She closed her eyes and let the drugs sweep her into a mindless state where she didn’t have to think, or worry, or cry.

…

James opened the kitchen door as Grams took something out of the oven. His grandparents had started spending the night more and more. They claimed they were homesick for the ranch, but James knew they were worried about him. Hell, he was worried, too.

“Lunch will be ready soon,” she said.

“Smells great.” He washed his hands and sat at the table.

She pulled out a chair beside him. “Did you call Reese and tell her the archaeologist found evidence of an old Native American campsite near the creek?”

“Not yet.”

“I think she’d like to know her ideas will help prevent development. Maybe after a spin around the globe, she’ll decide to come home to stay.”

She was voicing his hopes, but it was best not to count on that.

Her gentle hand rubbed his back. “I’ve been thinking about what happened to you.”

“What thing are you talking about?” He slumped forward on the table.

“Losing your mother and blaming yourself for it for all these years. It’s been a festering wound. A gash stitched up in the field without being cleaned. It’s time to cut it open and get rid of the infection.”

He chuckled at her medical analogy. “Sounds like you’ve been talking to Finn. What do you have in mind?”

Grams went to the stove and filled plates. “I’ve been reading some books and have a few ideas.”

“I’m willing to try.” James poured a glass of tea and took a long sip. “I’m going into town after we eat. Do you need anything?”

“A roll of stamps, please.”

James rushed out of the post office and almost crashed into the town busybody, Jean Cooper.

Her normal scowl held an unusual gleam of pleasure. “You got that Turner girl pregnant, and she left you.”

“Pregnant?” The word hit like a bullet to the chest. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“I saw her buying a pregnancy test before she left town.” A malevolent smile shadowed her face as she walked away.

Adrenaline spiked, and he stumbled back against the brick wall. Pregnant? Could Reese be pregnant? The last line of her goodbye letter flashed in his mind. “After our time together, you’ll always be a part of me.” Did she have a part of him growing inside her?

He rushed to his truck, pulled out his phone, and dialed her number, not knowing what he’d say. His pulse hammered so hard his vision wavered as he waited for her to answer.

“Hello,” said an unfamiliar male voice.

“Umm, hello? Is Reese there?” Do I have the wrong number?

“She left her phone on her desk. Who’s this?”

“Her boyfriend,” he said automatically.

“She’s sick. They took her to the hospital.”

Panic slapped him hard and fast. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I’m not sure, but she was doubled over and clutching her stomach. Greer went with her.”

Everything wavered and a version of fear that he’d never known grabbed hold and colored his vision. “I need Greer’s number.”

“Hang on a second.”

Is she losing our baby? Am I losing her? No, no, no. This can’t be happening.

The man’s voice came back on the line and gave him the number. He hung up and called Greer but only got voicemail. He left a message saying who he was and that he was on his way, then drove straight to the airport. Anything he needed he could buy once he got to her. He had to see his sweet Reese, hold her, and make sure she was okay.

“Why didn’t I tell her she’s my everything? What the hell is wrong with me?” Like a fool, he’d let her run away, again. Just like he’d done eleven years ago when he’d been a stupid teenager. Now he was an even dumber adult who probably didn’t deserve her forgiveness. It was time for things to change. Time for him to fall at her feet, and even though she’d already given him more chances than he deserved, he’d beg for one more.

…

The second his plane touched down, James listened to a message from Greer telling him Reese was okay and what hospital she was in. But how okay could she really be if she was still in the hospital? He felt like a trapped animal and wanted to scream at the plodding pace of everyone getting off the airplane. He needed out of this flying tin can—where he’d had nothing to do but pray and worry and call himself every foul name he could think of. But he had come to several conclusions. First, his love for Reese wasn’t going to fade just because she was far away. Second, he wanted a life and a family with her. If she was having his baby, he’d do whatever it took for them to be together.

If she’d lost the baby… No! Nausea rolled in on a wave. He couldn’t think that way.

He ran through the airport to a taxi stand and cursed the dense and deafening city traffic from the back of a cab.

At the hospital, the smell of antiseptic and the sight of sickness curled his gut. He braced a hand against the wall, took several deep breaths, then made his way forward. He stood in the doorway of her hospital room. His sweet Reese was curled on her side, eyes closed, looking so tiny and frail under the white blanket. A machine beeped, proving her heart still beat. James clutched a hand to his chest, fighting to calm his own rapid pounding before entering the room and dropping to his knees beside her bed. Her pale face was streaked with tear tracks and one thin hand stuck out from under the covers, an IV trailing from a bruised vein. He carefully slid his hand under hers, bringing it to his lips. She was warm and alive. And he loved her more than he’d thought possible.

“James?” Her sweet voice held pain. “Am I dreaming?”

“No, sweetheart, I’m here.” He wanted to rip back the covers, press his face to her belly, and see if there was life within.

“How are you here? How’d you know?” she asked.

“I called your phone, found out you were in the hospital, and jumped on a plane. I needed to see for myself that you’re okay.”

“I will be.”

“Is the baby…?” He rested his forehead on the edge of her bed, the words lodged in his tight throat.

“Baby? James, look at me.”

He met her eyes, hoping she couldn’t see the bone-deep fear.

“What did they tell you?”

“When I called, some guy said you were doubled over in pain and clutching your stomach. I was so scared after what Jean Cooper said.”

Confusion crumpled her brow. “What in the world did that mean old woman say?”

“She saw you buying a pregnancy test.”

“And you thought—”

“Reese, is our baby gone?” His heart beat so rapidly he feared he’d pass out.

She cupped his cheek. “Oh, my sweet man, I wasn’t pregnant. I only bought a test to make sure before I left. If it had been positive, I never would’ve left without telling you.”

A huge sigh rushed from his lungs, and he tried to unpack all the anxiety that had been beating at him. She hadn’t lost their baby. Hadn’t even been pregnant. A wave of disappointment surprised him.

I want her to have my baby.

“What happened, sweetheart? What’s wrong with you?”

“A cyst on my ovary ruptured, and I had laparoscopic surgery.”

He pressed his lips to her forehead then moved to sit in the chair behind him. “Are you really going to be okay?”

“Nothing life threatening, and I should still be able to have a baby. But—” She inhaled deeply and winced with pain. “That hurts.” She closed her eyes and very slowly shifted onto her back.

“Goldilocks, please tell me. You’re killing me.” He smoothed the hair back from her forehead and trailed his thumb down her pale cheek.

“I swear I didn’t know you’d seen my pills and thought I was still taking them. I never would’ve kept that from you had I realized what you thought.” She reached for his hand, imploring with her eyes.

“I know. This is all my fault. I’m a stupid man. I way overreacted, and I’m so sorry.”

“Around the time I came to Cypress Creek, my doctor told me I should think about starting my family sooner rather than later.”

He sighed and squeezed the bridge of his nose. “And I told you I didn’t want to have kids. That’s why you got so upset.”

“I thought about approaching the subject again after I got the offer for the newspaper job—”

“What newspaper job?” he interrupted.

“I had that interview in San Antonio. When they offered me a position, I thought about bringing up the topic one more time to see if you’d possibly ever change your mind, but before I got back to the ranch, I got a message from National Geographic.”

All the events rolled through his mind and clicked into place with a sickening thunk. He leaned forward, jaw aching from grinding back and forth. Why hadn’t he told her he loved her? Why hadn’t he told her he was changing his mind about having children? “Is part of the reason you left because I said I didn’t want children?”

She bit her lip and closed her eyes. “I figured getting the National Geographic job was fate telling me I should move on and take the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. It was something I could not pass up.”

“Of course you couldn’t. You had to take your dream job. I wouldn’t have expected any different.” He blew out a slow breath. “If I’d asked and said I wanted a family with you, would it have made your decision harder?”

“Yes.”

His boot heel tapped rapidly against the cold, hard hospital floor.

“James, were you thinking about asking me to stay?”

“Yes. I almost did on several occasions. But I waited too long, and then you got the job, and I didn’t want to shatter your dream.”

He eased onto her bedside and carefully cradled her in his arms. “You’re so beautiful. Inside and out. You deserve the world and everything your heart desires. You make me want to become a better man.”

“You are a good man. No one is perfect.”

“I don’t deserve someone as forgiving and understanding as you. I just sat there brooding on my ranch when I should’ve made things right between us. And I’m so sorry.” He softly kissed her lips and made sure she could see his eyes. “I won’t blame you if you tell me I’m all out of chances, but I have to ask. I’m begging you to forgive a foolish cowboy who promises to work harder every single day to be worthy.” Her face transformed into a beautiful smile that reached into his chest and made his heart beat faster.

“We’ve each made mistakes and bad decisions,” she said. “I ran away. I didn’t stick around to fight it out. But I’d like to propose a new agreement. We should start fresh, with a clean slate between us. We can work harder to make communication a goal. And maybe if we give one another the right amount of chances, we’ll finally get it right.”

“I’d really like that, sweetheart. If you ever decide to come back to Cypress Creek, you have a home with me. Because”—he cradled her face between both hands—“I’m in love with you, Reese Turner.”

Her face brightened into a dazzling smile. “James MacLachlan, I love you, too. I’ve wanted to tell you so many times.”

He held her in his arms, breathed in her scent, and thanked God this amazing woman was in his life.

The door of her hospital room opened.

“Oh, I’m so sorry to interrupt. You must be James. I’m Greer Robinson.”

He stood and held out his hand. “Yes, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you.” He motioned to the chair. “Please, have a seat.”

“Thank you.” She winked at Reese. “You certainly have a charming southern gentleman here. I’ll only stay a minute. I just wanted to check on you.”

“Dr. Hunter said I can go home tomorrow, if I have someone to take care of me.”

He stepped closer to the bed and put his hand on her leg. “I’ll take care of you, sweetheart.”

Greer turned to James. “That’s good. Has Reese told you what a fabulous job she’s doing at work?”

“I think she’s too modest to even realize how talented she is,” he said.

“She has an amazing career ahead of her. I feel good leaving my position in her capable hands once I retire.”

Reese smiled, but it frayed around the edges.

James braced his hand on the foot of the bed.

Amazing career ahead of her. That sounds like a lifetime of me missing her.

He was proud of Reese and wanted the best for her, but damn if he didn’t want her to just come home with him.

Greer left after a few minutes, and he returned to the chair.

“I need to give you the key to my apartment for tonight,” Reese offered.

“I didn’t come all this way to leave you alone. I’m staying right here with you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely. From what Greer said, you’re doing really well at work. Sounds like she’s counting on you to take over for her.”

“It did sound that way. I have a job people envy, and others are depending on me.”

“Are you happy here? Do you love your work?” he asked.

“I love taking photographs, no matter where I am.” She carefully turned to face him. “But I don’t love this city. I’m just a country girl at heart.”

He kissed her forehead, the tip of her nose, and finally pressed his mouth against hers. “I like hearing that.”

“I’ll be in Texas the week before Christmas. Do you want to spend some time together?”

“All the time you’ll give me. Maybe we’ll finally find the other half of the map.” He straightened her blanket and stroked her hair. “Pretty soon you’ll be back to living your lifelong dream, but I’m serious about what I said. Whenever you want, you have a home with me in Cypress Creek.”

She clasped his hand to her cheek.

“Reese, I want to be your home base.”

…

She looked into the handsome face of the man she loved. Elation zinged through her blood, and her heart sighed with pleasure. Happy tears stung her eyes, and some part of her that had been free-falling settled inside her. He wanted to be her home base.

His statement was both a relief and a weight. His offer of a home in Cypress Creek made her want to blurt out that she’d quit her job and go home with him immediately, but his words about her career gave her pause. Even though traveling on someone else’s schedule was harder than she’d anticipated, she couldn’t give up on the career she’d worked so hard for. And making any decisions while on strong narcotics was an epically bad idea.

And there was still the touchy topic of children. While her nerve was bolstered by pain meds, she went for it. “What’s your opinion on adoption?”

“I think it’s a wonderful thing, and I wouldn’t hesitate to give a child a home. Just because getting someone pregnant terrifies me doesn’t mean I don’t like kids.” His kiss was long and sweet, the way it should’ve been when she left Cypress Creek.

“I love you, cowboy.”

“And I love you, Goldilocks. I’m glad we’re going to give this long-distance thing a real shot.”