“Can it be done, Mr. Alvarez?”
“Anything can be done for a price. I usually don’t work for people I don’t know. How did you find out about my services?”
“I’ve hired you before and I was very pleased with your work. For this job, however, I require a bit more confidentiality and would prefer it if even you didn't know my identity.” Amara was using an untraceable number, and a simple device to change her voice.
“Well, miss. Just send me a photo of the girl along with the exact spelling of her name, the date of birth, her address, and... which package did you want to buy?”
“The full package. I need a birth certificate, driver’s license, passport, citizenship, everything.”
“Everything? As though you were creating her out of thin air?”
“Yes, everything.”
“Sure—but it’s really going to cost you.”
“Not an issue. I’m ready to transfer the money to you as we speak. I’ve sent you all the pertinent information, is that acceptable?”
“Ah, yes. I've received it. ‘Medea Meadows’ who was born in London, twenty-four years ago?”
“That’s the one.”
“Sorry—I usually don’t interfere in personal choices, but the name sounds a bit too fabricated and flowery. Can you add something to make it a little more realistic? An ugly middle name?”
Amara hesitated. “Para. Add ‘Para’ as a middle name.” She knew that Para would enjoy having a small shard of honesty in her official documentation. Leaning back in her leather chair, she fingered the new dress she’d purchased on her morning shopping trip. She’d picked out a small house in the city for Para, done all through a realtor on the phone; once she could use the IDs to set up a bank account, she could purchase the house in her name. She could have easily just purchased the house as herself, but she didn't want to have any obvious links to Para. She specified that she required a finished basement so that she could install features that would conceal any life force within the room.
“Alright, I can have everything ready within the hour if you can transfer that money to me. Do you know the premium price?”
“Yes. I appreciate your assistance, Mr. Alvarez.”
* * *
It was easy to commit crimes when you had superpowers. Pax had managed to secure all the etorphine they would ever need. Now, for a more daunting task, she was seeking out Thornton’s prana and flying in his direction. She had been nervous enough to change into fresh clothes and apply light makeup. When she was almost at her destination, she realized that he was at her condo; their condo, really. She had originally bought a modest apartment near the hospital once she had begun working there, but Thornton had stayed with her so often that he demanded she upgrade to a more deluxe flat, paying the difference.
It was fitting that they should meet there. She could tell him that she’d decided to sell the property while in the vector zone. She’d realized that she hadn't been back to the place since she and Thornton had broken up, not able to bear the memories it held for her. The mere thought of approaching the complex had made her feel sick to her stomach; hadn’t enough time passed that she could put it all behind her?
Mara is lucky that she bought her house all by herself, Pax thought inwardly. Having Thorn’s name on my title…. it made me feel practically homeless after we split. Pax landed on the roof and as she walked to the stairs, knowing that every step brought her closer to him, she began to feel ill again. Putting years and dimensions between them hadn’t given her as much emotional distance as she’d hoped. Her feelings hadn’t changed as much as she’d hoped. She unconsciously ran her hands over her clothing to smooth out the wrinkles from flying.
Descending the flights of stairs, she walked through the halls to her apartment door. She could feel his prana more strongly now. She tried to concentrate on his life force to determine his emotions. He knew she was coming, and he was anxious. Even though it was her apartment to which she had her own key, she still raised her hand to tentatively knock on the door. Before her knuckles had touched the door a second time, Thornton had already opened it, and their eyes locked.
She knew that on the outside, it had only technically been a few days since she had last seen him—but it had felt like several lifetimes. She found herself searching hungrily for changes in his face. He looked more haggard, more tired, and more beautiful.
“It’s really you this time,” she whispered.
Thornton did not respond. He stared wordlessly for a moment before swiftly moving forward to seize her in a hug. She buried her face in his neck, finally feeling that she had returned home. The world might not have noticed her absence, but here, glued against his chest, she felt like there was a place for her. She felt her own world rushing back, seeping into her through his warm skin. She did not know how many minutes she stood like that, but she could not let go of him; she could not move or breathe.
His hand was on the back of her head, cradling her gently against him, massaging great handfuls of her hair. His fingers kneaded away the tension at the top of her spine, causing her eyes to close in bliss. His other hand swept down over her blouse, resting against the bottom of her spine and sending warmth through each lonesome bone within her. She wanted to get closer to him; was it possible to be closer to him? Every careful plan and intention for this moment went sailing out the window.
His hands exerted their ownership of her easily. She could have said any words, formed every protest and barrier, but the truth was in his touch. Her response was not just accepting, but pleading. She was starved for him, and fiercely protective of this moment. If anyone had happened by to interrupt them, Pax almost surely would have toasted them to cinders with a thought.
He seemed to sense this, and recognizing that their embrace was no longer public-friendly, he levitated them into the apartment and shut the door. “This time I’m me?” he repeated questioningly, but he had pushed her against the door and covered her mouth. She was unable to respond with the sudden sweet assault against her tongue, and mentally unable to focus her thoughts enough to reach his mind. His mouth had the similar effect to Sakra’s portal, transferring her to another world.
Even as her hands slid under his shirt, feeling the hard warmth of his muscles, she fought for composure in order to answer. Suja came to me in the vector zone, pretending to be you. After she sent this thought, he continued kissing her deeply, running his hands carefully over her denim-swathed hips. She allowed him to slip his hands under her thighs, deftly removing her feet from the floor and holding her in his arms, without ever removing his lips from his mouth.
Was she convincing? he asked, as he carried her to the couch, gently lying her out on the pillows before positioning his body on top of hers to resume kissing her.
No, she responded, enjoying the feel of every inch of his body that was pressed against hers. She was nothing like you. But I wanted to believe it was you so badly.
The Pseudosphere is like that. It messes with your mind and makes you think that you see things which aren’t really there. I wish I could have found a way to come inside with you. How long were you in there?
Four years, Pax answered.
“Damn,” he swore, lifting his mouth from hers. When he gazed down at her, there were swirls of comforting clouds in his blue eyes, resembling satellite imagery of the Earth. She found such strength in knowing him; he was still as familiar to her as her own skin.
Pax tightened her grip on his neck, latching onto him for solace. The warmth of his energy against her body pervaded her insides like hot cocoa. “I’ve never been away from you for so long,” she whispered.
He smiled, pressing his lips against her forehead before shifting their position so he could lie beside her on the couch. “Don’t do it again, okay? There are other ways to punish me. Give me the silent treatment, force me to donate money to charities of your choice, or we can even get a dungeon with whips and chains…”
She laughed, nestling her face against his cheek. She could have lain beside him for hours, or days. She had missed him so dearly. If the Pseudosphere had been good for anything, she had emerged reminded of who was important in her life. Regardless of whether Thornton was her boyfriend or fiancé, she loved and respected him more than anyone else. He always had been, and always would be a massive part of her life. He would always mean the world to her.
Which is why it made everything so much more difficult.
Thornton had wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her tightly against him. He closed his eyes and buried his face in her hair. He silently prayed that Pax had found her answer in the vast expanse of time which she had plunged herself into—he hoped that she could find forgiveness and understanding for him so that they could return to their normal lives. He had not felt like himself in a long time, but just lying on the couch with her in his arms was heavenly; all the missing pieces which had been torn away were suddenly all patched up.
“Don’t leave the world again anytime soon,” he whispered into her hair.
“I may have to,” she answered. “We both may have to.”
“What?”
Pax knew she should sit upright and put a serious face on before delivering this news, but she was way, way too comfortable. She felt dirty about turning the apocalypse into casual pillow talk, but had no inclination to remove her head from the divine luxury of her cotton cushions.
“Comet,” she said with a yawn, snuggling closer against him. “On its way to destroy the Earth. We should go and stop it.”
“Pax?” he asked in confusion.
She could feel the tension beginning in his body, and she knew that her sweet moment was about to disappear. She remained silent for as long as possible, enjoying the feel of his arms around her while it lasted. She tried to memorize this little taste of paradise before she ripped it apart and burned it to ashes. “Suja is sending a comet to destroy the planet. Your dad said it’s going to hit on August 12th.”
Thornton seemed to freeze as he processed this information. “That’s why… my mother. With NORAD and NASA… why didn’t they tell me? Didn’t they think it would be important for me to know?”
She could see the anger settle in just behind his eyes, the pale blue darkening to herald the impending storm. Pax reached out to touch his perfectly-styled blonde hair. “We’ll stop it, won’t we?”
“There isn’t any other option,” he answered. He cleared his throat. “Thanks for telling me. I assume that was the bad news—do you also have some good news for me?”
Pax watched the budding storms promptly disappear from his eyes as he turned them on her, suddenly filled with hope and love. She felt her breath catch in her throat, mesmerized by his closeness. She shut her eyes tightly to break the spell, and slipped a hand down to the pocket of her jeans. Fingering the ring, she took a deep breath, reminding herself what she needed to do. She had promised herself that she would be strong. Pulling the ring out of her pants, she pressed it into the palm of his hand, relinquishing their future together.
“No. I can’t marry you.”
Thornton sat up abruptly, tearing his warmth away from her. Pax turned away, unable to look at him, unable to bear the pain on his face. She wanted to curl up into a little ball and disappear. She felt her heartbeat pounding right out of her chest, aching with every beat. “Please don’t be angry with me,” she said softly. “I just can’t.”
Thornton stared down at the ring she had returned to his palm. “Then why are you here?” he asked angrily. “Why are you here, lying with me like this—letting me hold you as if…”
“Thorn,” she said, forcing herself to sit up. “I’m not ready. The Pseudosphere taught me that there is so much I don’t know. I thought we should marry; I thought so for years, and I wore your ring every day in the vector zone. Then something happened. In the fourth room—my body was split into two halves. I really got to know myself, and… she made me think about things differently.”
“Fuck the Pseudosphere!” Thornton swore resentfully. “Pax, those are hallucinations. Sick, miserable psychological tricks. Nothing that happens there is real. Your body hasn’t aged a single day—even if you had stayed there for a hundred years, you wouldn’t change. Everything happens in your mind—if you grow stronger, it’s because you are learning how to manipulate your prana better.”
“But that’s just it—I had my nose rubbed in my own foolishness and inadequacy. I’ve been so dependent on you for my whole entire life.”
He reached out and grasped her around the waist, pulling her into his lap. He wrapped his arms around her so tightly that she felt the pressure on the bones of her ribcage. “I want to be everything you need,” he told her fiercely. “If you need a lover, teacher, father, or friend—I want to be your rock. I want to be the solid thing you stand on, the thing you trust.”
“You always have been,” she said quietly, “but I need to stand on my own two feet… and I need to let you live your life.”
“You are my life!” he shouted.
Most women might have recoiled from such an angry tone, but Pax soaked it up thirstily. He was more upset about this than the comet. Her lips slightly curved. She was honored to know where she ranked on his priority list; slightly above all of humankind.
“You’re going to change your mind,” he told her evenly. He took the expensive ring and shoved it back into the pocket of her jeans. Pax swallowed when his warm fingers dug into her thigh, separated from her skin by only a thin layer of fabric. “That diamond is yours, and I won’t take it back. And my proposal—I won’t take that back either. You’re going to agree, someday, when you realize that you’ve been ready all along.”
Pax leaned against him, pressing her forehead against his shoulder. She wondered if he was right; she did not think she could resist him forever. Even now, she was using his physical nearness to soothe the pain caused by the emotional distance she was placing between then. She wanted to smack herself for how weak she was, but instead, she just mustered her resolve and hauled her body off his comfortable lap.
“We are devas,” he said, with an earnest glare. “We love fiercely and forever.”
“Too fiercely,” she answered. She forced herself to take a small step back. “Too forever.”
“Go on,” he said angrily, gesturing to the door. “Waste more time, Pax. Waste more years holding your little grudge—but soon it will seem small. It will all seem like nothing, and you’ll discover that we both need to be together to be whole. So when that happens, come back to me. Put that ring on your finger, and you won’t need to explain. We’ll just pick up where we left off, and continue the way we’re supposed to. My heart will always be open to you.” Thornton placed his elbows on his knees and dug both hands into his blonde hair. “Go! The sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll come to your senses and return.”
She was stunned by his words, and pained to see him in such a state. Pax moved closer to him, and was about to reach out to touch him when she realized that this would not help. She gulped, forcing herself to keep at least a few inches of distance between them. “I—I was also thinking of selling this condo. I don’t really need it anymore. If you need it, you can have it, but if not... maybe we could split the value?”
Thornton’s head snapped up. He eyed her warily. “Why would you want to sell the apartment? Is something wrong?”
“No,” she said. “I just...”
“Good Sakra, Pax! It’s me. If you need money—if you’re in a tight spot, just let me just write you a check.” Thornton had already risen to his feet and was walking briskly over to his briefcase. He opened the latches to pull out his checkbook.
Pax smiled fondly at his fatherly reaction. “I don’t need your money, Thorn.”
“Don’t be prideful! I won’t even ask what it’s for—I’m sure you don’t have a drug problem or anything like that.” She had difficulty concealing a laugh as he continued, having just obtained great quantities of illegal drugs. “I won’t have you wanting for anything, whether or not we’re together. Now how much do you need?”
“I really don’t need anything,” she insisted.
“Pax, please. Don’t lie to me. Will five hundred grand be enough?”
“Just stop!” She moved across the room swiftly and grabbed his hand to stop the pen from descending onto the checkbook. She held his hand firmly and looked into his eyes. “I may not be in your league, but you know what my financials are like. My mom left me everything; the interest alone is far more than I need. I may not go shopping every day like some people we know, but that’s by choice.”
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I just don’t understand why you want to sell the apartment. I thought you loved it here?”
“I did,” she said, “but there are just too many memories. I can’t stay here anymore.”
“I see. You’re trying to destroy every connection you’ve ever had to me.”
Pax scoffed. “Don't be so dramatic!” she said with a laugh. She glanced over to the living room wall, which was covered by a gigantic full-color global map. There were hundreds of multi-colored thumbtacks stuck into various spots in various countries, signifying places they’d been together. “My whole life is so connected with yours; it would be impossible to destroy that.”
He grabbed her hands suddenly, pulling her forward so that her body went tumbling against his. He tilted his head down so that their noses touched. “You sure you want to walk away from me, hot stuff?”
She swallowed at the old nickname, forcing herself to nod mechanically. She could not bear the look in his ocean-blue orbs. “Thorn. If we got back together now, if we got married…” Pax took a deep breath, fighting away the emotions. “If something like that happened again—the situation with Karina Allbright… I don’t know what I’d do. I never thought that would happen. It was the last thing I expected.”
“It won’t happen again, Pax.”
“You don’t understand. It would destroy me… but I’m not concerned about being destroyed. I’m concerned about what else I would destroy. A comet would be the least of our worries.”
“We were both out of our minds that day,” he said with a low growl.
She shook her head. “There’s a monster in me. Back then, I trusted you more than I trusted myself. You were my solid rock. And when that rock crumbled, I crumbled, and I became a murderer. History repeats itself quite easily, and the next time—”
“There will never be a next time!” he roared.
“Really? Thorn, I killed a woman!” Pax felt her chest heaving with ragged breaths as her own anger mounted. “I need to learn to trust myself before I can trust you. I need to know that I’m not going to lose control when something goes wrong between us. Because things will go wrong—they always do.”
“Paxie, what we have between us is too amazing to cast aside.” His eyes flashed furiously. “Your reaction was natural. I would have killed anyone who touched you too. It’s just who we are! It’s a deva thing.”
“A deva thing!” she repeated, her voice rising. “That’s always the excuse when one of us does something wrong. This is a human world, with human countries and human laws!”
“How can you say that after what we’ve both seen and lived through?” Thornton marched to the window angrily. He threw open the curtains roughly and turned, pointing. “You and I know the truth. There are worlds that humans don’t even know about! We are demigods. Our people are not part of distant folklore—we’re right here. We protect this planet, and if it weren’t for our families, if it weren't for us devas there wouldn’t be any humans left alive today. And it seems like soon it will be time for us to act again… You’ve never been one to deny your heritage, why should you start now?”
Pax cast her eyes downward and turned her back to him. She returned to the sofa and sat down calmly. “None of that gives me an excuse to be a killer.”
“No, but neither does it give you an excuse to kill what we have!” Thornton crossed the room back towards her and knelt on the ground in front of where she sat on the sofa, resting his hands on her knees. “Just look me in the eyes and tell me that this is completely over for you. Tell me that you never want to be close to me again. Tell me that you don’t love me, and I’ll let you be. Tell me.”
Pax stared at him for a moment, fearing that he could see the depths of her soul even without telepathy. She feared that he could hear her thinking, Thorn, I love you with all that I am. Instead, she cleared her throat, trying to be tough. For some reason, she remembered the voicemail she had found on Para’s phone upon returning home. Thornton had called Para while she had been out of the realm, requesting that they meet up to talk. It had seemed innocent enough, but…
“Please,” she answered, closing her eyes tightly. “I just think that we need time apart. I think that we should both see...”
“Sakra, don't finish that sentence, Pax.”
“...other people.”
He had her by the shoulders in an instant and he shook her forcefully. “Other people? Other people? Humans, you want to see humans?”
Pax made a face at him, the skin around her nose becoming scrunched up. “I am human.”
“Is this a joke? You’re the least human person I know. You’re a deva! It’s natural to be with another deva.”
“That doesn’t give me a lot of options,” she said, smiling even though it was a very tense moment.
“Good!” he roared. “I don’t want you to have options.”
She reached out and brushed some of his hair away from his cheek, enjoying his little possessive display. “Rose is human, and so is my grandma. My mom was too. Human-deva relationships have been proven to work well. Maybe they would work better for us as well.”
“You achieved Silver Form, didn’t you?” he asked, rising to his feet to look down on her.
She slowly nodded.
“Well, that’s a very human thing to do, Paxie,” he said sarcastically.
“I’m giving you an easy way out, Thorn. You should take it.” She looked up at him bitterly. “Are you even absolutely sure you want to spend the rest of your life with me? Lately it seems like you are interested in a lot of other women, and maybe you need to explore that some more before you commit yourself to one person. Was I even really the one you meant to give the ring to?”
“Why are you questioning me?” he asked angrily. “Is there someone else you want to be with? I won’t allow it. Tell me who he is. Is it someone from your work? Is it that lecher Dr. Winters?”
Pax watched in amazement as an aura of blue prana surrounded him. Thornton moved his face very close to hers, his voice becoming a loud growl. “Tell me! Who is it that you want, Pax? I’ll kill him, I will.”
She could feel the crackling force of his mounting rage and furor—the emotion permeated his surging energy, causing his voice to shake. Seeing him like this thrilled her; she took the jealousy as an assertion of his love for her, which was just as crazy as the love she felt for him. Crazy enough to induce them both to act nothing like themselves.
It wasn’t healthy. But as Pax stared into his flaring eyes, she felt herself swept up in the whirlwind of his passion; she found him more irresistible than ever before. She found her hands clenching themselves tightly in her lap, and she found the muscles in her stomach contracting. She wanted to reach out and pull him against her and show him exactly who she wanted.
“Pax?” he demanded in a low voice, leaning forward so that their faces were very close. Items in the apartment began to fall off of shelves all around them as Thornton lost the grip he had on his temper.
She allowed herself to bask in the glorious feel of his vehement prana. His natural power was so vast, so terrible. She hadn’t felt his energy in an entire year, and she was beginning to realize how much she had missed it. His life force felt nothing like his delicate sister—it was masculine and extreme. She almost wanted to make him angrier so that she could feel his life force intensify even further; she almost wanted to try to make him so angry that he physically fought with her, although that was probably impossible. She wanted to pull him back down onto the couch with her and make good use of that passion of his. She wanted to show him the new limits of her power; she wanted to demonstrate just how perfectly they were matched, letting their energies mingle as they made love obsessively, zealously.
“Who is he?” he shouted again, as his eyes flickered ruby. Red swirls of smoke wafted up from his skin, crackling like electricity. “Tell me, Pax! Who do you want?”
She couldn’t sit still for a minute longer. She couldn’t resist.
Pax launched herself at him, flinging her arms around his neck and crushing her lips against his in a forceful kiss. She knocked him off balance so that he fell backwards onto the coffee table, breaking it in half. Thornton reached up to grasp her body in surprise, and felt her blazing hot prana humming beneath his hands. He kissed her back with all the violence he felt, matching her own ferocity as he devoured her lips greedily. He grasped a handful of her hair at the nape of her neck to angle her head so that he could deepen the kiss, and he slipped another hand under her blouse, feeling the taut muscles on her back as he pulled her firmly against him.
Her body erupted in a ferocious burst of flames as she straddled him; the firestorm consumed them both, singeing the carpet and blackening the nearby sofa. The broken coffee table began to catch fire, but Thornton ignored this, slipping his hand into the front of her jeans to rub circles around her most sensitive point. Pax gasped against his mouth, a feminine moan escaping her throat. He continued to kiss and touch her, unconsciously reaching up to grasp the front of her blouse, intending to rip it off—when he noticed something. There was wetness on his cheeks. He opened his eyes and realized she was crying.
“Pax,” he said softly, hesitating. She suddenly pulled away with the same swift unexpected motion that she had used to attack him. She wiped the back of her hand across her eyes before she swept her hand across the room, creating a wind that put out all of the flames. The fire alarm had started to ring at some point, and she gestured up to the small device on the ceiling, smashing it into silence.
“Anyone but you,” she said with determination, rising to her full height tearfully. She gazed down at him as he lay sprawled on the broken coffee table. “I want anyone but you.”
The expression on his face slowly changed as he processed her words. As understanding seeped into him, his eyes averted. He shook his head in disbelief. Transparent droplets began to gather on his blonde lashes.
Her chest was throbbing with pain as she forced herself to witness his turmoil. She inwardly answered his question with the truth: Only you. I want only you. She was thankful that he did not possess his sister’s telepathic talents, for she never would have been able to lie and walk away from him. She had never lied to him so outright, and it was ripping apart her insides to see the way it affected him. She could feel exactly the way she was making him feel, but she knew it was necessary.
“Please don’t do this,” Thornton said quietly. “Please don’t leave me.”
Pax shook her head, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I have to.”
Forcing her body to move away when it very much wanted to move toward him, she walked out of the apartment, in a daze. She did not glance back as she exited the condo, praying that he would not follow her. If he walked after her and did so much as touch her wrist, she would cave, fall apart, and tell him the truth. She would say that he was right; the Pseudosphere had messed with her head. She would beg him to make love to her until she forgot who she was. But luckily, he did not follow her.
That was really convincing, Pax, she told herself derisively. As she exited the complex and stepped into the dull rainy morning, she wondered if the years of training had done her any good whatsoever. Her anger had returned with full force.
Everything offended her. She wanted to lift her fingers and burn the skyscrapers. She wanted to incinerate the continents. If being with Thornton had made her so angry that she killed a person, then being apart from him should have the opposite effect, right? Apparently not. She still wanted to cause destruction. It wasn’t a pleasant feeling, especially for someone who had spent so much of her life trying to prevent destruction.
She realized that she had been slowly walking in the middle of the sidewalk in Ruby Form, with flames of dark red prana leaking forth from her hands. Her damp hair was falling in front of her face limply, obscuring her eyes. Pedestrians were giving her odd stares and some were even running from her in fright. She suddenly smirked as she imagined that she must look like those dark-haired dead women from horror movies… but she was certainly much more dangerous than those vengeful spirits. She was alive. She was powerful. This was her horror movie.
Pax released her power, forcing the fire from her hands to retract into her body. She controlled the emotion. Her first thought was to find a remote area to have a quick release and to set off a few explosions. (She was suddenly missing the vector zone wherein everywhere was remote.) But then she thought better of it.
She would find Vincent to discuss the plans for the comet. She would ask if she could just teleport into space and take a crack at the comet right now; she was certainly in the mood for a little obliteration. And if she obliterated herself in the process? Well, it wouldn’t be the first time.