Once upon a time, an editor emailed me and said, “You know those fairy tale jokes you made on Twitter? I think there’s a book idea there, and I want it.” The editor was bright of mind and lively of heart, the Black to my White, and very right. There was a book idea there, and, thanks to Erin Black’s encouragement and insight, you just read it. I hope. It’s weird if you’re reading the acknowledgments first. Maybe you meant to cheat and read the end of the book and accidentally read this instead, in which case, SHAME ON YOU, GO BACK AND START AT THE BEGINNING.

So, thank you, Erin Black, for being a girl with a secret monster heart and loving literary strolls in silly dark woods. Thank you to everyone at Scholastic for joining us for a picnic with a wolf or two. Thank you to Carol Ly for the frighteningly perfect page design. Thank you to Karl Kwasny for such disturbingly delightful art. You’re all worth more than a handful of magic beans. And way, way more than a handful of peas.

Thank you to my agent, Michelle Wolfson, who thought it all sounded too scary but was willing to work with it anyway. I’m always so much scarier than you think I’ll be. We short girls are sneaky like that.

Thank you to my very own prince (who always practices the strictest levels of fire safety), Noah, and to our three delightful and well-behaved children, Elena, Jonah, and Ezra. They helped with my vocabulary, and can spell well enough to save all our lives should the need arise. Kids, if you promise never to get pet snakes, I promise never to make pease porridge.

Finally, thank YOU. Yes, you! No, not you. Just kidding, even you! Thank you for reading. I’ve been trying to write the right book for kids just like you my whole career. I’m so happy it’s in your hands now. I hope you loved it! And if you didn’t, please bring all complaints to my friend, the fair Herr. He’s dying to eat you. I mean, meet you. Yes. Meet you.