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Thanks to all of the above plus Margie Golden with the Department of Health and Human Services; Leslie from the Rape Crisis Center; Nancy’s doctors; Nancy’s mom and dad, Aunt Thelma, Melvin and many others.
Read on for a preview of the upcoming book
FINDING KATIE: The Diary of Anonymous,
A Teenager in Foster Care
Edited by Beatrice Sparks, Ph.D.
Friday, January 2nd
I heard Mama scream and jumped out of bed almost without waking up. As I tiptoed down the stairs I could feel my heart beating so hard inside me that it was almost like it was going to explode!
By the time I got to the bottom step Mama was barely whimpering and I could hear that Daddy was still pounding on her. Scared to death, I slowly cracked Mama’s bedroom door open and peeked in. Mama was lying quietly on the floor, curled in a tight little ball. She looked like she was sleeping. A big wave of pain almost washed me away into nothingness. I wanted to dash in and help Mama but I didn’t dare, because I knew only too well…what Daddy might do then!
Daddy gave Mama another hard smack and staggered in my direction.
I scrambled down the last step, hid in a dark corner trying not to breathe, and stayed there until I heard him zooming down the driveway, smashing into our big metal security gate on the way out.
Almost blinded by tears and fears, I crept in beside Mama and patted her cheek, below her swollen eye. “It’s okay Mama,” I whispered, “he’s gone.”
Mama whispered for me to go back to bed. I wanted to ask her about lots and lots of things but I ALMOST KNEW SHE WOULDN’T TELL ME!
Back in my room I put my pillow over my head and tried to smother out her crying. It wasn’t like any human sounds I’d ever heard before, more like…animal sounds…or…scary movie evil wailings.
Feeling freezing cold to the marrow of my bones I wondered what Daddy would do when he came back….
EVENTUALLY he always came back!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes he was crying and repentant, bringing gifts and flowers and candy…other times…
I feel like I’m lost! Lost in my own home! Lost in my own body! But mostly lost in my own mind. Will the really, truly me ever, ever BE FOUND?
When the blackness of night began turning into morning grayness I heard Daddy’s car coast slowly up the driveway.
Not knowing if he would be Doctor Jekyll or Mr. Hyde I held my breath until…guess I passed out or something….
I felt like I had laid there in my black, cold, never-never land bed, for forever.