meadows empty of him, animal eyes, impersonal as glass
Aubades
to be a part of the outward life, to be out there at the edge of things, to let the human taint wash away in emptiness and silence as the fox sloughs his smell in the cold unworldliness of water.
—J.A. Baker
1.
There is the time before the knowing.
When I see the fox, and stop
my breath.
It is so light on the path –
there will be no pawprints in the hard
earth. Rain drifts
grainily in
the air, but I have felt nothing
on my skin for hours. It is the time, after
all, before the knowing,
which is not time, but the pausing of it.
It trots towards me, noses
the wet underbrush,
keeping to the edges
of the path, delicate as the breath not
taken, the unmoving
air, that must
have moved – since it starts,
and scents in me what I’ve not sensed,
the deepest predatory
wish; that I want only to pin it down, bury
my face in its winter fur.
Struck now:
my knowing of it will be the worst
of all deaths. It skips
sideways
from the path. I find
all foxes are gifts; afire, already skittering
away at your presence.
2.
Exactness of the inexact
light on Moelwyn Fach;
dusty red-gold of an old
fox.
3.
Every tale is a tale
of parting; the poet’s
wife saw through
the kitchen window
a fox fleeing the hunt,
and opened a door
to it. It cooled its paws
in the slate-floored dairy
then left as it had come,
returned to its earth,
tail stiff, a brush
with death.
4.
It pleased you most
to use the word unruly,
as you lifted my hair
again from you face,
and rose to make
the coffee.
5.
After the Welsh of Williams Parry
Then with no
haste, no
fright, it slipped
its russet hide
over the ridge.
It happened:
the disturbance
of a shooting
star.
Shevaun Cooley