Sarah looked around the beautiful new Italian restaurant recently opened in Greenley and then across at her gorgeous date. Her heart pounded with excitement. There was no Szechuan Palace for her tonight, no terrible first date with a bloke like Dean. She smoothed down her black wrap dress feeling confident and excited.
Bella Napoli was swanky with a shiny bar, a gin menu, and thick wooden tables. The waiter had seated them and delivered their drinks order, and now Finn sat opposite her talking about the conference he’d attended. Without thinking he pushed back his strawberry blond hair before reaching for his glass, and the movement made her heart flutter. She could imagine him instantly making friends with the other attendants then holding forth in the bar all evening. He was funny, quick-witted, and charismatic. Even more disconcerting was that he was looking effortlessly handsome in black jeans and open necked shirt. Sarah was finding it very hard not to stare at the smooth skin where his neck met his chest, or reach over and try to undo the rest of his buttons. She wondered if Nate wore a shirt open like that and quickly shunted the image from her mind. She didn’t want to think about Nate Hardy and wished he’d stop randomly appearing in her head. Their moment last night kept playing in her mind. It was like she’d seen the real him, but she didn’t want to think about that right now. She wanted to think about Finn MacDonald, preferably naked – no not naked, now she was getting all red and sweaty, and a bit tingly. It had been a while since she’d had sex but that was no reason to lose control. Still, it was somewhat reassuring to know those bits still worked. Sarah hid behind her menu for a moment to regain her composure thinking about something completely un-sexy like Donald Trump.
‘Sorry, I’m rambling on about some boring conference and you’re—’
She popped her head back up and stopped picturing Trump’s strange wig-like hair and Oompa Loompa face. ‘No, you’re not rambling at all. It sounded interesting. I was just trying to decide what to have. It all sounds so good.’
‘It does, doesn’t it?’ He picked up the other menu and perused. ‘Have you been here before?’
‘No, never.’ They both watched two plates being taken to a nearby table. The food was beautifully presented in neat little piles and smelled delicious. ‘That looks good.’
‘I was just thinking that,’ replied Finn, smiling. ‘I’d better decide quickly or I’ll be here all night. It always takes me ages.’ A slight self-conscious blush hit his cheeks, and Sarah’s heart pulsed. She’d only ever seen him being cool and calm at work, that flash of vulnerability aided her nerves in calming down; he was clearly feeling a bit nervous too.
Sarah made her decision and after placing the menu on the table popped an olive into her mouth. She quickly wished she hadn’t as her teeth hit the stone. Now she had to try and spit it out without looking gross. Manoeuvring it around her mouth she managed to grip the stone between her teeth and grab it before popping it down on her plate. ‘Did you learn anything new at the conference?’
‘A few new things but I won’t bore you with them. It was quite dull. I drew a lot of matchstick men on my notes.’
‘Were they doctors too?’ she asked with a grin, enjoying the flirtatious banter. There’d been no banter with Dean, only endless chomping on plate after plate of greasy food. Everything was going so well.
‘Some were, with little matchstick stethoscopes and scalpels.’
‘They sound a little bit scary now.’
‘They do,’ he said with a laugh. ‘Sorry about that. How are things going with the play?’
Having been on quite a few dates, this one simple question meant a massive thumbs up for Sarah. So often she had sat opposite good-looking, respectable guys who only wanted to talk about themselves. The fact that he’d asked her about something she was interested in was a very good sign and she had to work to keep the smile from her face. ‘I’ve been having some coaching with …’ She stopped herself just in time. ‘With Gregory and I think it’s really helped. I was really struggling with my character, but I think I’m getting somewhere now.’ She didn’t go into details about why she was struggling. No one else needed to know about her dad. Or that the reason she was making progress was because of one-on-one coaching with Nate Hardy. She pictured his face on the beach and thought about how strange it was that they should both be here at this time, both wounded, then seeing Finn she shook it from her mind. She’d wanted this date with Finn for so long, nothing else would come close. Not even Nathaniel sex-on-legs Hardy.
‘I think you’re amazing. I’ve heard you sing, you’re exceptional.’ He took a sip of his beer and smiled.
Sarah’s eyes widened and she brushed her hair back. ‘Oh, no. I must remember not to sing at work. It’s a bad habit I have.’
Finn shook his head. ‘I haven’t heard you sing there. I saw you at the showcase last year.’
‘Really?’ She’d had no idea Finn had been there.
‘I don’t think I’d ever heard anything so beautiful.’
Sarah felt herself colour, her cheeks growing hot under his gaze. She’d imagined sitting here with Finn so many times it was strange to think it was really happening. ‘Unfortunately, the only singing in the show is weird and Shakespearean and I don’t get to join in.’
‘There’s singing?’
‘Yes, but don’t get your hopes up, it’s going to be awful. I’d bring ear muffs if I were you.’ Finn laughed a low, throaty laugh and Sarah enjoyed the sound as it reverberated through her chest. ‘Have you decided what to eat?’
‘I think so.’
‘Me too.’
They fell into easy conversation as they waited for the waiter to come and take their order. Sarah was in no hurry for that to happen, she was enjoying herself so much. Though a little nervous too, Finn was incredibly witty and clever, but not pompous or full of himself. He didn’t think he was better than anyone else, not like some of the guys she’d met. His anecdotes about colleagues and patients made her giggle and, feeling at ease, she remembered the list of questions she’d imagined asking him in her fantasies. When the conversation lulled after the waiter had been over, she used one. ‘So what made you go into medicine?’
‘Ah.’ He shifted in his chair. ‘I hate answering that question, it always makes me sound like a massively pretentious snob.’
Sarah laughed. She couldn’t imagine him ever sounding like that. ‘I promise I won’t judge.’
‘Well, at the risk of sounding like a saint, I really wanted to help people, so being a doctor was the obvious choice. And being a GP I get to do different things every day. What about you?’
‘Oh, I always wanted to be a doctor’s receptionist and be shouted at by angry patients. It’s my way of helping people too.’ Thankfully Finn saw that she was joking and laughed.
‘I thought you were going to say that.’
After a sip of wine she continued. ‘I put a lot of my career aspirations on hold when Mum was sick. She died when I was 24 and I kind of fell into the job at the surgery after that.’
‘What would you have done?’ asked Finn. ‘If things had been different?’
Sarah shrugged. ‘I don’t know really. I loved English and did an English degree at uni. Teaching maybe?’
The truth was that Sarah had taken her mum’s death and her dad’s betrayal so hard she’d locked herself away from the world, losing touch with most of her friends. It wasn’t until a couple of years later, when Mayor Cunningham had been in the surgery one day saying that the position of secretary had come up on the theatre board that she’d started gingerly dipping her toe back into the pool of life and stepping outside the little safe world she’d created for herself. She’d been lucky to meet Lottie and the Greenley Players but, she thought regretfully, she’d wasted so much time. Looking up to see Finn and thinking of the amazing date they were having brought a beaming smile to her face and the tingle back to her skin. ‘I’m just happy to have a job that I enjoy, good friends and a life full of fun things.’
‘Like the am dram?’
Sarah nodded just as Finn’s phone began to ring. He quickly pulled it from his pocket, blushing and apologising. The ringing stopped as he swiped the screen, clearly refusing the call. ‘I’m so sorry, Sarah.’ Sarah though, had caught sight of the screen. It was a pretty woman calling. She didn’t know where the photo had been taken but the woman was pouting a little and Sarah had the vague feeling she’d seen her before in the surgery. Worry squirmed in her tummy. Damn Vince, she thought. If he hadn’t betrayed her she wouldn’t be so suspicious now. But Finn wasn’t Vince, she reminded herself. ‘I’m so sorry about that. It was my sister. I’ll call her later.’ Relief shot through her, relaxing every muscle in her body. His sister. Phew. She must have been mistaken about seeing her before.
Just then the waiter brought their food. Sarah’s Pollo Milanese looked amazing and Finn’s Fruitti di Mare was the biggest portion of food she’d ever seen, the bowl overflowing with succulent delights. ‘I hope you’re hungry,’ she said, gesturing at his food with her fork.
‘You might have to help me finish this.’ His eyes sparkled in the candlelight. ‘Either that or I’ll have to hide some in your handbag.’
‘There is no way you’re putting prawns in my handbag,’ Sarah laughed. ‘Besides, have you seen this chicken breast? I’ve no idea where they get their chickens from but this one was a beast. Honestly. It’s about the size of my head.’ Finn laughed at her joke and Sarah relaxed even more. She’d never felt this comfortable on a first date before.
After a round of ‘oohs’ and ‘mmm’s’ as they tasted their food, nodding at each other in approval, Sarah was able to find out all the things she had ever wanted to know about Dr Finn MacDonald. He came from a small family – just him, his mum and dad, and one younger sister. They still lived in Norfolk in the little town he’d grown up in, and he went to see them regularly. He thought moving to Greenley was the best thing he’d ever done and would be quite happy to stay there for the rest of his life. Another big thumbs up for Sarah. Greenley had a way of doing that to you. It sucked you in and crept into your soul, making itself a part of you until you couldn’t bear to leave. In return, Sarah told him all about her, glossing over some of the things she didn’t want to talk about. But what meant the most was that he didn’t ask about her dad. Not once. Sarah was incredibly grateful for that. He must have been curious about their run-in the other day and the story behind it, but he respected her privacy and didn’t ask.
Pushing their plates away at the same time, Sarah sat back in her chair. ‘That was absolutely delicious.’
‘Mmm, mine too. And look, no prawns left to smuggle out.’
‘Thank goodness.’ Sarah smiled. ‘I didn’t fancy a handbag smelling of shellfish. I mean, I love living by the sea but carrying bits of it around with me is a step too far.’
The waiter approached. ‘Can I interest you in the dessert menu?’ he asked, placing them on the table and picking up the plates.
Finn gave a mischievous grin. ‘It would be rude not to even look.’
‘Very true,’ replied Sarah. They were so in sync. So together. Sarah just knew this was the start of something special. Her first-date nerves had all but disappeared and it felt so natural being with him. Everything had been perfect so far.
‘I’ll give you a minute to choose,’ said the waiter before disappearing off.
‘This all sounds amazing too,’ Sarah said when he’d left.
‘No contest for me,’ said Finn. ‘Tiramisu. If it’s as good as the main, it’ll be the most amazing tiramisu I’ve ever had.’
Sarah took a sip of her wine as she read the options trying to narrow it down. She knew Finn was watching her and the quivering began in her chest as intense as pins and needles. She enjoyed having his eyes on her, but it was making it hard to choose a pudding. Eventually she said, ‘Cheesecake for me. Nothing else comes close.’
He nodded. ‘Good choice.’
The desserts were as delicious as the mains and gone even quicker. When they were waiting for the bill, Sarah realised with a worrying pull that though there’d been definite banter and a few glances, he hadn’t reached for her hand, or tried playing footsie under the table. There’d been no accidentally-on-purpose touches and like a heavy stone had been dropped on her head, she realised that as much as he had enjoyed the evening, Finn probably didn’t fancy her. He must have asked her out to try and cheer her up after the drama with her dad. Inwardly, Sarah cringed. It was a pity date. Yuck. A scream of frustration was building inside and reluctantly she prepared herself for the, ‘Thanks for a lovely evening,’ but no offer to do it again, and the weird day at work on Monday that would inevitably follow.
The waiter delivered the bill and Finn insisted on paying at first.
‘What year is this?’ asked Sarah, teasingly. Anything she could do to lessen the strange atmosphere on Monday was worth it.
‘Okay, okay,’ he held his hands up in surrender. ‘Half and half it is, but I do insist on walking you home.’
She shook her head. ‘You don’t have to do that. I live in the opposite direction to you.’
‘Non-negotiable, I’m afraid. If you don’t let me walk beside you, I’ll just follow you like a weirdo and be really annoying, like this …’ He started softly saying her name over and over again like a child saying ‘mummy’ until they got the attention they want.
‘Fine, okay,’ Sarah replied, laughing, with no expectations of anything other than a cordial handshake at the front door. Disappointment pulled at her again. She really quite fancied the pants off of Finn and would very much like to kiss him. He had a nice mouth and she’d always imagined his kisses would be soft and gentle, and not like having a sink plunger attached to her face, which she had, unfortunately, experienced before. Sarah grabbed her jacket from the back of her chair and Finn held the door open as they left. He held his arm out and she hesitated before threading hers through, unsure if it was the type of gesture she’d hoped for or if he was just being gentlemanly.
‘That was a lovely evening, wasn’t it?’ he asked, his voice softer, almost uncertain.
‘Yes it was. You did well with your enormous portion.’ What? She felt her face grow red in the dusky light. Oh my God, she’d just said Finn had an enormous portion and now she was having a hot flush. She kept her eyes on the road in front of her and didn’t risk looking at him. She’d never been so embarrassed. And now there was that tingling in her chest again. She really had to get control of herself. Was it her imagination or had he just squeezed his arm in, pressing her hand closer to him? She’d hadn’t been this confused since she accidentally missed her turning on the M20 and drove all the way into London, going the wrong way round a one-way system and ending with a stern telling-off from a policeman. ‘It’s not far,’ she said, hoping to move the conversation swiftly on.
The sky had become a mix of dark silhouettes against a vibrant back drop. On the horizon, bright pinks and lilacs filled the sky peppered here and there with lazy, unmoving, grey clouds. A short while later, after talking about the players and her next set of rehearsals, they were at her front door. Sarah scrabbled in her bag for her keys and turned back once she found them. Finn was leaning against the doorframe, his head dipped slightly forwards causing his hair to fall into his face. He swept it back and straightened up. ‘Well, thank you for a lovely evening.’
Here it was. The end of the date and just as she had expected. ‘It was fun.’ Sarah tried to keep her eyes from his, but she just had to look at them one last time before the night ended and all hope of doing this again was lost. Before she could look away, Finn tilted forwards and his hand reached up – her heartbeat tripled in pace, pounding against her ribcage and her breathing grew erratic. His fingertips went from just under her ear, which she hadn’t known before was an erogenous zone but it seemed to be right now, to threading through her hair resting at the back of her neck. He was drawing her in for a kiss. The kiss she’d imagined a million times. Her entire body was sparking, every muscle flooded with longing as his lips met hers. It was the gentlest, sweetest kiss she had ever felt and now her body was on fire. She opened one eye slightly to see if he was enjoying it and was overjoyed to see his were still closed, wrapped up in the moment. Sarah reached her arms up and around his neck. When Finn pulled away her voice was trembling as she risked asking, ‘Do you want to come in?’
In a throaty whisper he replied, ‘Yes, please,’ before kissing her again.
***
Lottie opened the door and as soon as Sarah saw her face she sang, ‘I slept with Finn last night,’ waving the carrier bags of food she’d brought with her in the air and doing a happy dance, all thoughts of Vince forgotten.
‘You did not!’ Lottie’s eyes widened.
‘I did. I did. I did, I did, I did.’ Sarah was twisting around on the spot while Lottie laughed. She’d never been so happy. Even the situation with her dad couldn’t dampen her mood.
‘You’d better come in and tell me all about it then.’
Finn had stayed the night and it had been the best sex Sarah had ever had. He’d been gentle but passionate. Just being near him made her happy. He was everything she’d been looking and hoping for. This morning they’d lazed in bed, making love one more time before he made them a cup of tea and some toast. And then, near lunchtime, he left, but there was no sneaking out as if it was all a horrible mistake, silently scrabbling around for clothes then doing a runner. He’d kissed her gently before getting dressed and then again on the doorstep as he said goodbye. The look in his eye had made her want to pull him back into the house and start all over again but he had to go. For the rest of the day Sarah had danced in her house while she cleaned, keeping herself busy just waiting for the evening to come so she could tell Lottie.
Lottie took one of the carrier bags from Sarah and led the way to the kitchen. Lottie’s house had a wonderful, messy lived-in feel. She’d always lived there with her nan until she’d passed away last year, and Sarah could see why Lottie would never want to live somewhere else. Pictures adorned the walls and it was a wonderful, cluttered, untidy home, not just a place to live. ‘I thought you had rules about not doing anything on a first date?’ Lottie asked.
‘Yeah, but that was with strangers. I’ve known Finn for a year already. And believe me, I’ve waited for this moment for a long time.’ Lottie unpacked the ready meal Sarah had brought and turned the oven on to heat up. Sarah found the bottle opener in its usual drawer and uncorked the bottle of white wine. No screw tops today. She was treating them to a decent bottle worthy of Gregory and Cecil – they had something to celebrate.
‘So are you seeing him again?’ asked Lottie, looking over her shoulder as she found the plates and cutlery, and stacked them on the side.
‘We haven’t arranged anything yet, but I’m sure we will. Oh God, it was amazing, Lottie. He’s just the nicest person I’ve ever met. He’s so funny and kind and caring and—’
‘Okay, okay, calm down,’ Lottie teased. Dreamily replaying the night’s events in her mind, Sarah stared out of the window. When she realised Lottie had left her in the kitchen and made her way back to the living room, Sarah grabbed her glass and hurried after her.
‘So,’ said Lottie. ‘Do we think your heart has officially mended?’
Sarah smiled and plonked down on the sofa. ‘I think it has.’
‘Good. About blimmin’ time. Vince the Prick doesn’t deserve any more of your time.’
‘I know.’ And talking about him, her heart hadn’t even twinged once. ‘How’s Sid enjoying his teaching job?’ she asked, moving the conversation along. Since he and Lottie had got together, he’d been taking his life much more seriously and had quit mooching to start teaching journalism at the local adult education centre on a Saturday afternoon. Since then he’d been feeling much more fulfilled, according to Lottie, and had begun talking about their future which, Sarah hoped, might feature a wedding one day and a pretty bridesmaid’s dress for her.
‘He absolutely loves it,’ said Lottie. ‘He’s got such a zest for life again. I’m so proud of him.’
Sarah moved a record from the arm of the sofa and put her glass on the floor. There were boxes and boxes of old vinyl records everywhere, along with some other boxes stuffed with his beloved Lego models. ‘He’s brought a lot of his stuff over, hasn’t he?’
‘Hmm?’ A faint pinkness was beginning to colour Lottie’s cheeks. Sarah narrowed her eyes.
‘What’s going on?’
‘Nothing.’ This was exactly why Lottie wasn’t an actor in the Greenley Players. She was terrible. Utterly, utterly terrible. Especially when it came to telling lies, which was essentially what acting was. As their chairman she was fantastic, but she couldn’t act if her life depended on it.
‘Is Sid moving in?’ asked Sarah, unable to keep the surprise from her voice.
The splotchy pinkness spread down Lottie’s neck. ‘Maybe.’
‘Eeeeeeeeeeek!’ Sarah grabbed Lottie in a bear hug, filled with happiness for them both. It had taken them long enough to get together so it was wonderful they were now taking the next step. Sarah sat back and picked up her glass again, proposing a toast. After they’d clinked glasses, she said, ‘So Sid’s moving in here, is he? What about his flat?’
‘He’s going to sell it.’
‘I’m so happy for you.’
‘Thanks.’ Lottie beamed a big cheesy grin. ‘Have you seen the posters in the outside poster cases? They’re finally up.’
‘No, are they hideous?’
‘No. Look. I’ve got spares here.’ Lottie grabbed a brown cardboard poster tube and wriggled out a poster. She unrolled it and Sarah winced. As feared, her face was absolutely enormous.
‘My face is huge. And I can see that spot I tried to cover with a mountain of concealer.’
Lottie studied the poster again. ‘It looks fine.’
‘It looks like a second head. We could draw a face on it and it could have a part in the play.’
‘Rubbish.’ Lottie tutted then giggled. ‘I think it looks really good actually.’ It didn’t but Sarah was in too good a mood to worry. Nothing could be done about it now anyway. ‘How did the coaching go with Nate Thursday night?’
‘Urgh.’ Sarah sucked in a deep breath then blew it out puffing out her cheeks. She’d been tempted to phone Lottie Thursday night and explain what had happened, but her brain had been all over the place and by the time she’d calmed down she was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to climb into bed. Plus it was one of those things you had to explain face to face. ‘It was disastrous.’ She paused. ‘Well no, maybe not that bad, but not good either. It was sort of terrible, but—’
Lottie shook her head. ‘That makes absolutely no sense at all.’
Sarah laughed and explained what had happened, including her revelation and Gregory and Cecil’s ridiculous interruptions. Lottie’s expression changed from one of surprise to concern and then eventually back to surprise when Sarah described the scene with Nate at the beach. ‘God, it’s like something from a movie,’ she said at last.
‘I know. Just without the moving soundtrack and flattering lighting.’
‘So you and Nate Hardy of the lovely bum had a moment on Greenley beach.’
‘I wouldn’t say we had a moment,’ Sarah replied. ‘Besides, he must think I’m gross because at one point he accidentally touched my hand and couldn’t get his away fast enough. It was like I had the plague or hepatitis or something.’ Thinking about it, it had all been so intense at the time. If they had had a moment it wasn’t a moment moment. It was more a mutual appreciation for how shit life could be rather than anything else. ‘Anyway, I think it may have actually helped. Now I know why I didn’t like Miranda, I can deal with it and start actually playing her. It is just a part after all. Urgh, that sounds super pompous and acty, doesn’t it?’
‘Are you going to carry on with the coaching?’
Sarah had thought about it a lot since that night, unsure if it would be too awkward to see Nate again. But she wanted to talk to him. Maybe help him with what he was going through, the way he’d inadvertently helped her. ‘Yeah, I think so. I hope so. I’ve got a lot to learn from Nate and he’s a good teacher. He certainly made me see my character differently. I just hope Gregory and Cecil can control themselves next time.’
‘Hey,’ said Lottie, suddenly perking up. ‘Why don’t you use Sid’s flat? It’s just round the corner from Gregory and Cecil’s place, so Nate could get there without being seen. And you’d be alone.’ She raised one eyebrow suggestively. ‘He’s just as handsome up close and personal, isn’t he? I found it quite off-putting talking to him at the theatre. How does a person actually go around being that attractive every day? Do you think they know that when they’re having a conversation people are just staring and thinking, “My gosh, you are completely gorgeous.”’
‘It’s horribly unfair, isn’t it? Why should one person get that much gorgeousness and the rest of us have to go around with big noses, or wonky eyes, or double chins.’ She pulled her head back to give herself a double chin which made Lottie giggle.
‘Do you think he thinks he’s attractive?’
Sarah pondered. The man she’d met wasn’t affected with any sort of over-confidence or vanity. In fact, he’d been incredibly normal. ‘I don’t think so. I get the feeling he’s a bit … I don’t know … shy, maybe?’
Lottie sipped her wine and shook her head. ‘How can you be shy if you’re an actor? Your job is to literally stand up in front of loads of people and show off.’
‘I know but, one-on-one he’s different. More vulnerable. I don’t think this whole situation with that model and his wife is as simple as the papers make it out to be.’
‘Have you seen the latest?’ asked Lottie, handing over a folded tabloid newspaper. On the front cover was a picture of Hannah Salgado who was quite attractive in a trashy, fake tan and brown lip liner kind of way. She pouted at the camera, resting a hand on her flat, rock hard stomach.
Sarah felt her mouth fall open. ‘She’s pregnant?’ She scanned the pages, speed reading. They were making him out to be a neglectful husband and total scumbag who’d been shagging around for years and Hannah was saying Nate had offered her money to stay quiet. The back of Sarah’s neck prickled as she read on, and yet, she couldn’t reconcile the events she was reading with the man she’d started getting to know. He’d said it was complicated and that he wasn’t the man he was being painted as. Was that true?
‘Did you get Gregory’s cryptic text message?’ Lottie asked, finding it on her phone.
Sarah nodded, reciting the message. ‘More bad news coming for Nate, but all is not what it seems. He needs our support. Please keep everything quiet.’ Knowing Gregory’s dramatic tendencies, she hadn’t really paid that much attention. Obviously she’d been intrigued to know what the bad news was, but she had been too full of endorphins from her night with Finn to think on it. ‘Do you think he’ll be going back to London now?’ asked Sarah. She hadn’t realised how much she was looking forward to seeing Nate again. Or at least looking forward to their coaching session, she corrected herself.
‘I don’t know,’ answered Lottie. ‘I guess we’ll find out more tomorrow at rehearsals.’
Sarah stared out of the open sash window. Lottie’s house sat on the brow of a hill and the views reached out over the whole of Greenley like a still life in which nothing moved. A moment caught in time. In the distance she saw the sea and the small fishing boats moored in the harbour. The heat was astonishing this summer. She’d never known anything like it. Her time with Nate felt like a strange alternate reality totally devoid from her normal life but still it had affected her deeply. She’d felt a connection with him she couldn’t explain or even fully understand. There was a strange tugging in her chest but Sarah put it down to the heat. It wouldn’t be long until Nate returned to London and it all ended. With a shake of the head she dismissed the thought that she might miss him. She didn’t even know him.