Serenity dropped her single suitcase on the floor and went to her kitchen to make coffee. She was in her condo again, and not with Damien. The palm trees fluttered outside in a light breeze, but she ignored the tranquil setting.
She felt empty being here again, but she couldn't depend on Damien.
Her mom was on her way over, strong enough now to walk. She ordered food on her favorite app to be delivered in the next two hours so she'd have something to eat. She let her shoulders sag while she prepared a second cup for her guest. No one saw her if she slouched and it didn't matter. The bell rang telling her that her guest had arrived.
She brought the coffees to the coffee table, centered them on coasters, fixed her sky-blue t-shirt that clung over her yoga pants and opened the door. The elevator dinged and her mother walked out wearing a blue cardigan sweater and white pants. She waved and said, "Thanks for coming over, Mom."
Her mother handed her a new Kate Spade bag and entered the all-white condo. She turned toward her as she closed the door. "Serenity, I'm surprised you're in your condo. Where is Damien?"
Right. Her mother was a Damien fan. She brought her into the living room and lowered her head, not wanting to play any more games. "He's at his house. I’m going to divorce him."
Her mother’s lips parted in surprise and she stopped walking. Mom gripped her arm, like she was weak and needed her strength. "The wedding was yesterday. This is awfully soon, my dear."
Serenity guided her to the couch and helped her sit before taking a seat beside her. Gilbert’s slap to her face still stung her cheek from this morning. She fluffed her hair, collected her thoughts about why this was best and then explained, "Mom, I like working. It gives me purpose and when I have this baby, I'm going to ensure he or she always feels loved and cared for."
Her mother's face paled. “You’re pregnant?”
Oh. Serenity lowered her head. She hadn’t told her mother yet, but she nodded. “It’s why I said yes.”
Her mother reached out and lifted her chin. “Sweetheart that’s wonderful. You’ll be a wonderful mother.”
“I hope so. I am trying.” Serenity remembered how those men came into the bedroom and dragged her like she was a mule. No one would ever do that to her baby.
Her mother sipped her coffee and studied her. When she put her cup down, she reached out and asked, “Damien said you can’t work anymore?”
Her implication was wrong. This was about protecting her baby from danger. She held her flat belly. “No. But I didn’t think we were safe.”
Marie’s blue-eyed gaze was laser sharp. “Why?”
Once again she felt heat rush to her cheeks and the thought she was making a mistake rushed through her. But she focused on her safety again and said, “This morning I was kidnapped, but I jumped to safety until Damien found me.”
“So he saved you?” Marie picked up her coffee.
The second Damien stepped on the island, a huge part of her wanted to run into his arms. She lowered her head again. “Yeah.”
Serenity prayed her mother didn't end up back in the hospital because of this news. Mom leaned closer. "Don't throw away what you and Damien have because of me."
She and Damien had a budding friendship and she wanted more. It was a stupid thought, to want love. She interlaced her fingers over her kneecap. "It's not because of you."
Her mother shook her head and patted Serenity's arm. "When I married your father, he didn't have a penny to his name. I thought he was the most handsome man I’d ever met. He loved being a dad."
She rejected the thought immediately. Her father had been cold and distant to all of them. The last thing she needed was to hear how he loved her which was the oldest lie she'd ever been told. Serenity ground out, "We grew up with every luxury most people never have. Weekends in Aspen to ski isn't on most people's to-do list."
Her mother held out her hand. Serenity took it and felt her mother's slight tremble. She held tighter and her mother met her gaze. "We went there because Luca made me feel good about myself. When I realized your father didn't love me, my world was ripped apart. But I had you and Serena and your father loved you and you loved him, so I was stuck."
Luca? Serenity dragged up a memory of a nice ski instructor who made really yummy hot chocolate and wore a red coat when skiing. Serenity blinked. The man had been in their hotel suite, multiple times, and her mother had quietly spoken to him after the girls had gone to bed. Serenity stared at her mother in confusion. "You could have divorced-"
"No, that wasn't done." Her mother interrupted Serenity and looked down while dropping her hand. "Your father put me on an allowance and I could do what I wanted as long as we pretended to be happy.”
She winced. No one would ever put her on an allowance. Ever. She’d grown up as a show piece and didn’t need to be someone’s property.
“I'm sorry I pulled away from you and Serena like I did. It made me sick that Serena believed your father was the only one who cared. And you always had your nose in a book? I tried harder with you, to be a success. Serena was just like her dad and I didn’t know how to handle her. When you told me you were marrying Damien, I hoped I hadn't ruined you too, and that you could have what I never did."
Damien was too single-minded, like her father. Serenity looked down at her mother's wrinkled hands, surprised after this story that Mom still wore her wedding ring. "Mom, I thought you wanted me to marry him because he's rich and powerful like Dad."
Her mother placed her hand on hers and Serenity glanced up. "Money was all I had. At my age, I can't imagine getting a job when I never even cooked a meal for any of you."
Through the years they'd had a variety of cooks, maids and other servants around the house. Serenity let the hurt little girl that lived in her heart speak. She needed a second to give her a voice. "Mom, I don't care about who cooked. You were always so far away and Dad never cared about me."
Her mother squeezed her hand. "He was a horrible choice. I should have left him for Luca and taken my girls to Switzerland. Then none of us would have faced that humiliation brought on by your father’s criminal actions."
Clearly her mother regretted giving up the ski instructor. "I don't remember much about Luca other than he was kind to me. Did you fall in love, Mom?"
A smile Serenity had never seen before graced her mother's face. "When you were eight and Serena nine, Luca begged me to live with him. I said no, because at Christmas that year both of you seemed closer to your father. I’d ruined my life already; I didn't want to ruin yours too."
Perhaps her and Serena would be very different if their mother had taken them away. Serenity leaned forward. "Mom, our father pretended to be close to us. Serena might have believed him, but I never did. Even before he was arrested, I wondered what it would be like to have parents that cared about me."
Her mother opened her arms and hugged her. "I loved you, my girl. I'm sorry I hurt you."
Serenity felt tears well in her eyes. Reliving the past caused so many people anxiety, which her instructors often reminded customers. But her mother’s words today relieved the little girl. Mom had loved her. She squeezed her arm gently. “It’s okay, Mom.”
She wiped her face with the napkin she’d brought to the table with the coffees. Her mother took her hands. "Now, tell me about what happened with Damien."
Without thinking about her words, she said, "I married him to make your life easier."
After saying that, she felt heat rise in her cheeks. Part of her attraction to Damien had nothing to do with her family. “In a way,” she admitted. “I was going to tell you I was pregnant when you were well. I feel guilty that I ran away so fast.”
“Go home to Damien then.” Her mother tilted her head, let one hand go, and looked at her with pity. "I saw the way you two looked at each other."
The whisper in her soul was dead wrong. Serenity lifted her chin. "Mom, we're having a baby. It doesn't mean we love each other."
Her mother shook her head as if suddenly an expert. "Don't throw away your chance at love because you're afraid."
Fear could be attributed to her running away, if she actually wanted Damien. This was the opposite—she was choosing herself, and the child they’d created, first. "That's not it, Mom. He doesn't love me. And I don't know how I feel about Damien either."
Her mother stilled but kept her head down. "I wish you saw what I see between you two. I threw away my chance. Don't make my mistakes. You deserve love."
If love existed anymore, but that was a dark thought. Love had to exist but she didn’t know what it looked like. Serenity would find out what happened to Luca for her mother. It was the least she could do, but she'd not tell her, not yet. Luca might be dead, married with three children or bitter. It was better to find out and surprise her mother. Serenity tried to smile. "Mom, we both deserve love. Just don't get sick on me again."
Her mother picked up her coffee, certainly cold by now. "You're my shot at being a grandmother. I'm not throwing away that chance to be part of your life."
"Thanks for this talk. I ordered groceries." Serenity stood, straightening her stretchy yoga pants. The food delivery would be here soon so she could make them dinner.
Her mother rose, put the cup down and followed Serenity to the kitchen counter. "Maybe you can show me how to help."
"Let's go." Serenity laughed softly at the idea of showing her mother how to cook. In traditional families, it went the other way around, but then the Hansom family had never been normal.
And her mother was wrong. Damien Morgan didn’t love her. He never claimed anything beyond admitting he wanted her in his life. It was easier to think of him as a jerk and her enemy. The small churning in her heart was silly and better to ignore the feeling until it went away.