“I can’t go back to the cottage. Not yet,” Sam said, eyeing Celeste’s parked van as they came out of the diner on Main Street Monday afternoon. His physical therapy session that morning had gone so well he’d asked Celeste and Parker to join him for lunch—his treat. Although the place had been packed with customers, only a handful of people had stopped by their table asking him how he was. The waitress stared overly long at Celeste, but mostly, they’d eaten in peace. He didn’t want the peace to end. Not yet. “What a perfect winter day.”
“Where do you want to go?” Celeste carried Parker, who clapped his mittened hands, his face full of joy at being outside.
Snow had fallen the night before, giving the lampposts and trees a frosted look. The sun made everything sparkle, and the Christmas decorations throughout town added to the season’s cheer.
“How about a little window-shopping?” He spied the town Christmas tree a few blocks down. He’d skipped Christmas last year. And before that? He’d taken it for granted. “I know you have to get back to work, but it’s been a long time since I’ve hung out down here.”
“I don’t mind. Should I get the stroller?”
“How wiggly is he?”
Parker bounced in her arms. She chuckled. “I’ll get the stroller.”
A few minutes later, Sam led the way down the sidewalk, pointing out stores as they passed. “My best friend, Jeremy, and I used to spend all our allowances in there.” He stopped before a drugstore/gift shop. “They had a huge selection of candy. You could buy caramels, chocolates, taffy and hard candies in bulk.”
“Do they still sell bulk candy?” Celeste stretched her neck to see inside the window.
“I don’t think so.”
“Want to find out?”
He was taken aback, surprised she suggested it. But she hadn’t flinched at eating lunch with him earlier, so maybe she was getting used to being out in public the same way he was.
“Yeah. Let’s go in. If they still have the candy, I’m buying a bag.”
“Fair enough.” She bent to lift Parker from the stroller. He babbled all the way inside. An employee barely glanced up from behind the checkout counter, and a pair of women perused the greeting cards.
“The candy bins used to be here.” He went to the back wall where shelves of cough syrups and allergy medicines were placed. “There was a hanging scale, too, so you could weigh your candy before buying it.”
“You bought a lot of sweets, didn’t you?” She set Parker on the floor, keeping a tight hold on his little hand.
“You have no idea.” He leaned against his crutches and smiled at the memories of running in here as a kid to blow his allowance. “I’m pretty sure I single-handedly kept our dentist in business.”
She chuckled. “Brandy and I rode bikes all summer from the time we were twelve until we could drive. We ate our fair share of candy, too. And ice cream.” Parker reached for a small stuffed bunny. “No, sweetie, that’s not for you to touch.” She steered him away from the display, and his light brown eyes filled with tears.
“I’ll buy it for him.” Sam smiled at Parker.
Celeste’s eyes shone but she shook her head. “I appreciate it, Sam, but I don’t want him expecting a toy every time we go to a store.”
He almost argued, but Parker had already forgotten about the stuffed animal and was pulling Celeste to the colorful candy bars in his sight. “So you have a sweet tooth, too, huh?”
“Mine is more of a salty tooth. I can pack away a bag of chips. But I won’t turn down a candy bar, either.”
“Chips should be their own food group.” After Sam purchased three candy bars and a pack of gum, they exited the store, and once Celeste strapped Parker back into the stroller, they continued down the sidewalk. They stopped in a few more stores before strolling to the town Christmas tree. It stood at the entrance to City Park with the white pillars of the gazebo visible behind it. Snow dripped from the branches, which were covered in lights.
“It’s so pretty.” Celeste stretched her neck back to see the star on top. “Look, Parker, isn’t it the biggest Christmas tree you’ve ever seen?” He held his arms up for her to unstrap him. She glanced at Sam. “Do you want to stay a minute or head back?”
“Stay.” He lowered himself onto one of the benches facing the tree as she set Parker on his feet, adjusting his hat and mittens. Parker giggled, slapping the bench seat over and over with both hands. “Doesn’t take much for you to have fun, does it, buddy?”
“Mind if I take a picture?” Celeste’s brown eyes waited for an answer, but she was so pretty he forgot the question. She cocked her head to the side. “Sam?”
“What?” He tore his gaze away and held out his hand for Parker to take. Parker patted it.
“I want to take a picture. He looks so cute in his snow boots.”
“Sure.” Sam got Parker’s attention, pointing for him to smile at Celeste. “Hey, there, look that way.”
The boy laughed, his eyes glued to Sam, and placed both hands on Sam’s thigh.
“Guess I’ll have to be in it, too.” Sam turned Parker to face Celeste. “Say ‘cheese.’”
Parker squealed in delight as Celeste snapped the photo.
“Why don’t you let me take a picture of you with him?”
“That’s okay.” She ducked her chin. “I should probably get back. I have a long list of work to do.”
“Come on, let’s get a photo of you two.” He wanted to hold on to today. It had been so long since he’d enjoyed being out. He’d like to look back at this moment and remember Celeste’s smile and Parker’s happiness. Capture the joy of the moment. Didn’t Celeste feel it, too?
“No.” Her clipped voice set him back.
“Okay.” He got to his feet as she took care of Parker. Why did he keep forgetting about her scars? “Do you ever take pictures of you two together?”
She didn’t answer, but her nose twitched.
“Celeste, don’t you think he’ll want to look back at you and him?”
“Not like this.”
They headed back to her van in silence, and he couldn’t help feeling he’d messed up their friendship. If she could see herself the way he did—glowing, smiling—a person he wanted to spend time with. But she clearly didn’t see herself that way.
He didn’t know how to fix it. He didn’t even know how to try.
* * *
Celeste’s fingertips tapped against the keyboard as she finished typing an ad for a new client. She needed to cram three hours of work into the twenty minutes she had left before driving Parker to the Christmas program practice. What she wouldn’t do to call Sue Roper and cancel tonight. The sour taste on her tongue grew positively pungent. She popped a peppermint candy in her mouth.
They were counting on her. A Christmas surprise for Grandma Pearl.
She’d floor it past the accident site if she had to, but she would get Parker to the rehearsal.
The calendar hanging on the bulletin board above her desk caught her eye. Bright green X’s showed the countdown. Today was December 2, just two weeks—a mere fourteen days—until her follow-up appointment. An appointment that could free her of these chains. Too ashamed to have her picture taken, even with sweet Parker. How sad was that? And what did Sam think about it? His comment Monday about Parker wanting to look back at pictures of them had dented her ironclad stance about not drawing attention to her face.
Earlier, she’d forced herself to do a little research about becoming a teacher. She glanced at the blue folder with the information she’d gathered. All the steps she needed to pursue a career teaching history. Right in there. She’d have to take almost a dozen college courses, which she could do online, and once done, she could sign up for student teaching and begin the process of getting state-certified. It would take at least two years, maybe more, before she could even think about teaching.
But could she really consider it?
It depended on her plastic surgeon.
Was she wrong to pause her life until she got the outcome she longed for?
Focus. She didn’t have time for dreaming.
After a quick scan of the ad, she printed a copy to proofread later. Then she marked the item off her checklist and went to the next one.
Six in the evening and already pitch-black out. Maybe the darkness would make it easier... She wouldn’t have to see the crash site when she drove past. But she’d still have to interact with the people from Brandy’s church, many of whom had known Brandy and also had small children.
Celeste had no idea how she’d be received by them.
At least Sam was driving with her tonight. They’d survived another round of grocery shopping Tuesday, this time with only two locals stopping Sam about his leg, and, thankfully, nobody said a word about her scars. She’d actually enjoyed the trip. It helped that since Monday, Sam had gone out of his way to keep things light. She was learning more about him.
He ate mostly healthy foods, and he knew all kinds of fun facts. He’d explained how to figure out if a pineapple was ripe by plucking an inner leaf out of the top. If it came out easily, the pineapple was ready. Who would have known? Most of the food he bought was portable and easy to grab. Single-sized yogurts, sliced cheese, lunch meat, crackers, granola bars. He explained that with both hands on the crutches, it was difficult to carry anything. That was why he kept a bag he could sling over his shoulder at all times to carry things between rooms.
She learned more than his food preferences, though. He was funny, kind. He treated her like a trusted friend. What a gift to have his friendship.
A text came through from Sam. We’d better leave early. It’s starting to snow.
Tiny white pellets blew past the window. With a frustrated exhalation, she saved her work, got up from the desk and stretched both arms over her head.
Lord, You’ve gotten me through some big changes lately. I need Your help tonight. Give me the strength to drive to church and the words to say when we arrive.
She’d put more thought into her mom’s suggestion. She’d keep any replies to questions about her face simple and direct. No lengthy explanations—assuming she could will her mouth to open and speak at all.
Ten minutes later Parker was babbling quietly in his car seat while Celeste helped Sam into the passenger side of her van.
“You ready for this?” Sam asked as she pulled away.
“As ready as I’m ever going to be.” She licked her chapped lips and headed north. The church was twenty-five minutes away. That left about twenty-four minutes before they passed the dreaded spot. In the meantime, she needed a distraction. Sam. “What about you? Ready for the big meeting tomorrow?”
She peeked over to catch his reaction. His hair was expertly gelled on top, and although it was dark, she could make out the twinkle in his eyes as he nodded.
Yep, he was a good distraction. A good, gorgeous distraction.
“I’m ready, thanks to you. I’m not as worried about slipping and falling with the crutches, and I forced myself to walk around the house with them for three hours.”
“You won’t be marching around on those through the dealership tomorrow, will you?”
“No. But come January, I will be. I’ve got to be prepared. My job has never really been a desk job. I spend a lot of time checking the different departments, talking to customers and inspecting the lot.”
“It’s great to hear you excited.” Celeste flipped on the wipers as the snowfall increased.
“Do I sound excited?” he joked. “I’m nervous.”
“Why?” She glanced at him. “You’ll be fine.”
He rubbed his chin and shrugged. “Been a long time.”
“It’ll all come back to you.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of.”
She chewed on the comment a minute. She understood. She was afraid of it all coming back, too, and it would be shortly. “I know, Sam. I’m afraid, too.”
“What are you afraid of, Celeste?” The words were a caress, low and soothing.
Could she tell him everything on her mind? She worried about remembering the crash. Had her memory left out a detail that would prove her negligent? “I just want to get there and not think.”
“I want to go back to work and not be bombarded with the former me.”
The former him? She frowned, keeping her eyes on the road. “You lost me.”
“I’m starting to get used to this being my life. The last time I was in my office, I had no clue I would come close to dying. The memories of who I was, what I could do—those are what worry me. I’m not sure about the mental side of going back to work.”
That, she got. “It’s the same reason why I’m a jittery mess right now. The mental aspect. Seeing Brandy’s church friends, driving past the site. It’s scary. I don’t blame you for having doubts.”
He reached over and put his hand on her shoulder. The touch surprised her, made her want to bend her head and rest her cheek on his hand. “I’m here if you need me for anything. We’ll get through it.”
We? What a relief to have him to rely on. She sniffed, nodding. He turned the radio to a station playing Christmas music.
“So are you and Parker up for helping me decorate my Christmas tree Saturday afternoon? And by help, I mean you’ll basically have to put all the decorations up. Unless I can juggle the crutches somehow.”
Celeste laughed. She pictured him smiling, placing candy canes on the tree. “Of course. We’d love to help. I need to decorate my cabin, too, but with Parker walking, I have to be careful.”
They discussed her setting up a small tree on a table out of his reach, and before she knew it, she was turning down the road where she and Brandy had spun out. Her breathing quickened, and her palms grew sweaty. She swallowed. Twice.
“This is it, isn’t it?” Sam asked. “Do you need to pull over or anything?”
Everything flooded back. Them laughing and singing “A Holly Jolly Christmas.” That was the song she’d forgotten. A split second later the wheels had taken a life of their own and the car had spun sideways, sliding, turning. It had hit the ditch with a thud, jerking them around in their seat belts, and the car launched up—they’d both screamed...
And that was when she remembered. She’d reached for Brandy and held on to her arm the instant before she blacked out.
“Celeste?”
She inhaled and saw the pole. The one her car wrapped around. The one that left her scarred and alone.
It loomed gray and tall and lonely from the field.
You took her from me. You stupid piece of wood.
Her hands clenched the steering wheel as tears began to pour down her cheeks, and a minute later, she drove into the brightly lit church parking lot and cut the engine. Her forehead dropped to her palms, and she shook as she cried.
Sam must have unbuckled because he moved close, putting his arm around her and drawing her to him. She turned, wrapping her arms around his neck.
“I don’t understand why, Sam. Why Brandy? Why that night?” Why not me?
“Shh...” He brushed her hair from her face. “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
“We were coming home from shopping. The trunk was full of gifts and wrapping paper. We ate at a Mexican restaurant, and we were having so much fun. Laughing, singing. Brandy had been so tired from the late nights with Parker, and she’d been quiet, depressed since Josh died. She needed a night out. I kept insisting she come with me. And there we were, on our way back to her apartment when the car hit the ice and spun out. The air bags didn’t deploy. The officer told my parents it was because of the angle we hit—no sensors were tripped. And I lost her. I lost her.”
She let out another cry and held Sam tightly. He rubbed his hand up and down her back, murmuring in the hair against her cheek, “It’s okay. It’s okay.”
When she got her breathing under control, she gazed into his eyes. She could see it—he wanted to take her pain from her.
The truth had to be told.
“It should have been me.” There. She’d said it out loud.
“What?” His eyebrows drew together.
“Why did I get to live and she was taken away? She had a baby, a job as a nurse’s aide. The world could have gone on fine without me, but here I am.” She wiped the tears from her face with the backs of her hands.
“You’re wrong.” He stroked her hair. “The world couldn’t have gone on fine without you. I don’t know why she died, but I know why you lived. The world needs you, Celeste.”
She shook her head violently. “Don’t say that.”
“I will say it.” He nudged her chin to look at him. “I’ll say it over and over until it gets through that pretty head of yours.”
Pretty?
“We should go,” she said. “It’s almost time for practice.”
“Not yet.” He shifted closer so their noses were almost touching. “The accident wasn’t your fault. Okay?”
Hearing him say those words was like a dose of calming oil on her nerves. The steel keeping her spine rigid dissolved. She knew in her heart it wasn’t her fault—it could have happened to anyone—but the aftermath was hard to digest.
“It might not have been my fault, but the results are the same. My best friend is gone, and my nephew—her son—will never know her.”
“You told me yourself you’re going to make sure Parker knows everything about her.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No, it’s not.” He took her hand in his. “Being together after this life will have to be enough.”
She didn’t trust herself to speak. He was right—they’d be together someday. Why wasn’t it enough? “I guess I’m selfish. I want her here now.” She gave him a halfhearted smile.
“I don’t blame you.” He ran his hand over his cheek. “I guess I’m selfish, too. I’m glad you’re here. I didn’t know Brandy, but I’m glad you survived the crash. You’ve made my life bearable.”
She blinked, stunned.
“We’d better go inside.” He opened his door, prompting her in motion.
She hurried around the van and got his crutches out of the trunk. When she handed them to him, she covered his hand with hers. “Thanks.”
“I meant it. And I mean this—let it go. You can’t bring her back.”
Maybe she’d been living with too many regrets. She couldn’t bring Brandy back. But was it dishonoring her memory to embrace the future?
* * *
Sam swung through the church entrance as Celeste held the door open for him. Holding her in his arms moments ago had felt right. More right than he’d felt in a long time. And the fact she’d opened up to him, confided in him, made him feel invincible. Even the fact he was on crutches couldn’t dampen his mood.
Did a guy have to be physically whole to consider having a future with a woman? He used to think so, but now he wondered.
“Hello.” A frazzled-looking woman appeared in the coat area. She held a clipboard and wore a red-and-white Christmas sweater with kittens on it. She blew a piece of curly brown hair from her eyes. “Are you Celeste?”
“Yes. This is Parker.” Celeste took off his stocking cap. He rubbed his eyes and dropped his head to her shoulder. “Are you Mrs. Roper?”
“No. Sue got the flu. I’m Donna Flack. I understand you’re raising Brandy’s little boy.” She didn’t make eye contact with Celeste. Her gaze ran up and down the paper attached to the clipboard. Something about her raised Sam’s hackles. “If you’ll wait in the fellowship hall with the other parents, we’ll get started in a few.”
Celeste unzipped Parker’s coat. “I’m not sure if he’ll do what you need.”
“Well, let’s hope he can sit on our Mary’s lap and act like a baby.” She clicked her pen and made a tsk-tsk noise.
“He is a baby.” Sam moved next to Celeste. The lady’s annoyed tone was rubbing him the wrong way.
“This is Sam Sheffield, Mrs. Flack.”
“It’s Miss Flack.” Her tight smile held no joy. “Well, you know what I mean. If he can sit still, we’ll be fine.”
Celeste’s face fell. “He just started walking, so I’m not sure.”
“Shelby Dean is wonderful with babies. She’s our Mary, and I have full confidence she’ll get him to mind.” She pivoted and strode down the hallway to the fellowship hall.
“Get him to mind?” he said. “What did she mean by that?”
“I don’t know.” She hung up their coats, and they headed in Miss Flack’s direction. “I’m not sure I want to find out.”
“Hey,” he said. She stopped and turned to him. “You don’t have to do this. It’s been a hard night already. We can take off if—”
She shook her head. “No. It’s for Grandma Pearl. I’ll be okay.”
He wasn’t so sure, but he had to trust her. They emerged into a large room with groups of parents talking in clusters and kids running around. Laughter and random piano notes filled the air.
“What now?” he whispered. This was out of his element. He’d let Celeste take the lead.
“I have no idea,” she whispered back. She set Parker on his feet, but he whirled and held his arms up for her to hold him, which she did.
“May I have your attention?” Miss Flack clapped her hands. “Thank you all for coming. Your children were given their parts in Sunday school last week. I hope they’ve had a chance to review them. We’re going through the recitations tonight and measuring the children for their costumes.”
A little girl with braids ran past Miss Flack and chased a towheaded boy.
“Molly, that’s enough of that. Both of you stand with your teachers.” With a loud sigh, she pointed to a group of kids. “Now, where’s Shelby? Matt?”
A pretty dark-haired woman with a wide smile raised her hand. She looked to be in her early twenties. A tall, husky guy joined her. They made a striking couple.
“Everyone meet in the front of the church, and we’ll get started.” Miss Flack pointed to the doors. “Shelby, Matt, come and meet our baby Jesus.”
“I’ll be there in a minute,” Matt said. “I’m helping Frank get the sets out of the shed.”
Sam stood straighter as Shelby and Miss Flack approached, and he sensed Celeste stiffen. He wanted to reassure her, but how? He glanced at her. Sure enough, she’d lowered her face.
She didn’t need to do that. She had nothing to be ashamed of. He hitched his chin, ready to defend or help her. Whatever she needed.
“Shelby, this is Celeste and Parker. She’s raising Brandy’s little boy.”
“We were all sad about what happened.” Shelby’s brown eyes oozed sincerity. She ran her hand down Parker’s back. “It’s terrible, this sweet baby losing his mama.”
Celeste lifted her face and nodded. Sam ground his teeth together. This Shelby lady seemed nice and all, but did she have any idea how her words were affecting Celeste?
Shelby’s eyes widened. “I forgot you were driving.”
Sam forced himself to keep his eyes trained on Celeste. He recognized the panic rising, the way her eyes darted. Steadying himself, he placed his hand on her lower back.
“How are you doing?” Shelby continued, her voice comforting. “I’m sure this must have been awful for you.”
“Having Parker makes it easier.”
“May I?” Shelby smiled and held her hands out.
Celeste nodded, and Shelby took Parker in her arms. “How are you, sweet one?”
Not making a sound, Parker stared into her eyes. He seemed to be studying her. She gave him a little hug and laughed. Sam had to give it to Shelby—she was good with him.
Four young kids ran up to Shelby. “Hi, Miss Shelby. Is that your baby?”
“No, Luke.” She grinned at the preschoolers. “This is Parker. He’s our baby Jesus this year.”
Two girls stared up at Celeste. The one with freckles asked, “What happened to your face?”
Shelby started to reprimand her, but Celeste smiled, shaking her head. “It’s fine.” She addressed the girl. “I was in a car accident.”
“Oh. I’m sorry. It must’ve hurt pretty bad.”
“It did.”
Shelby shifted Parker to her hip. “Melissa, do you remember Mrs. Monroe? Brandy? Your aunt Jackie was friends with her.”
“The one who died?” The girl’s face fell, freckles and all.
Sam wanted to put an end to the conversation. Celeste appeared to be handling it okay, though, so he kept his mouth shut.
“Yes. This is Parker, her baby,” Shelby said. “And this is his new mommy.”
Celeste cleared her throat and crouched to talk to the kids. “My last name is Monroe, too. Brandy was married to my brother, Josh. She was my best friend in the whole world.”
“Is that his daddy?” The blonde girl pointed to Sam.
The question landed in his gut like a brick. If the boat hadn’t almost killed him, would he be married by now? With a child of his own?
“He’s my neighbor and my friend. Mr. Sheffield.”
“Were you in the accident, too?”
Sam belatedly realized the kids expected him to say something.
“No,” he said. “I was in a different accident.”
“Is your leg broke?” One of the boys eyeballed the crutches.
“Kind of.”
“Did it hurt?” Freckles asked.
“Yes. It still does.”
“You should get an ice pack.” The blonde girl pointed to him, and he tried not to smile at her serious tone. “My daddy always puts an ice pack on his neck when he gets home from work.”
“I’ll do that.”
The sound of hands clapping interrupted them. “We’re waiting for you. Come on, children.”
Shelby, still holding Parker, led the way, and the preschoolers lined up behind her like they were following the Pied Piper.
“I think Parker is in good hands.” Sam waited for Celeste to slip into the back pew and sat beside her, laying his crutches on the floor.
“I do, too.”
“You handled that well.” He stretched his arm out behind her along the back of the pew.
“You think so?” The tightness in her face disappeared, making her appear younger.
“I know so. You did the right thing letting Parker be in the program.” The opening strains of “Joy to the World” blared through the organ. “I want to come with you on Christmas Eve.”
She did a double take. “Really? Don’t you want to be with your family?”
He loved his family. Always went to church on Christmas Eve with them. But Celeste needed support, and he wanted to give it to her.
“I want to see Parker as baby Jesus. If you don’t mind?” He watched her reaction.
She smiled. “I don’t mind.”
He caught sight of Shelby up there bouncing Parker in her arms and singing.
Before the accident, he hadn’t put much thought into having a wife or family. Earlier he’d questioned if he’d be married now, but he knew better. He’d be opening his second dealership, married to his job.
Sam clenched his jaw. His job had been fulfilling, but something had been missing even then. There was more to life than success. And he wanted more. Could he have it?
* * *
Celeste dropped Sam off at his brother’s dealership the next morning and drove through Lake Endwell. The town was adorable. Walking around with Sam earlier in the week had opened her eyes to its charm. Brick storefronts, pretty awnings, benches on the sidewalks. Everything was decorated for Christmas. Wreaths hung on doors, snowflakes were painted on store windows, Christmas lights were wrapped around trees. Sam had assured her Bryan would take him home, so she and Parker were going to explore on their own.
She stopped at City Park. Taking a drink of coffee from her travel mug, she took in the view of the lake. Last night had changed her. Sam had changed her. She’d never come here before because she’d been too self-conscious. She had even worried about someone staring at her through her van window.
She shook her head. How foolish. She could see that now. Their outings had loosened her up, and the success of being around the kids last night gave her the courage to break out of the cabin on her own.
Anticipation filled her with energy. The snow from earlier in the week had melted. It was a great day to get out.
“What are we waiting for? Let’s walk around the park.” She turned to grin at Parker, but her grin slid away at the sight of his closed eyes. Sleeping. So much for that.
She started the minivan back up. Should she go home? The blue sky and bluer water in the distance beckoned. No, she wasn’t going home. She could sit here and relax awhile. She settled back in the seat and sipped her coffee.
Last night when the little girl had asked her if Sam was Parker’s daddy, Celeste hadn’t been prepared for her internal reaction. She’d wanted to tell the girl yes, he was his daddy. Spending all this time together, doing the mundane daily stuff, had spoiled her. She relied on Sam. Hadn’t understood how lonely she’d been until she moved in next door to him.
What would it be like to come home to a husband? To raise Parker with someone who treated her the way Sam did? To be a family?
She let the glow of possibility wash over her, remembered how strong his arms had felt last night as he’d comforted her. The pressure of his hand against her back when she met Shelby had reassured her. He had the touch. To have those arms around her every day?
She sighed.
She wasn’t being realistic. They lived in a bubble. When the real world interrupted—and it would soon—things would change. He’d go back to work. He wouldn’t be just hers anymore. It would be good for him to see how important he was again. He’d realize he could have any woman. He’d want a family of his own—not her and her nephew.
She just wished she could stay in the bubble longer.
* * *
Sam adjusted his leg in the conference room of Tommy’s dealership. A circus had performed in his stomach all morning, and it was all he could do not to stand and pace the room on his crutches. Dad and Bryan hadn’t arrived, and Tommy was talking with a customer. What if Sam flipped out the way he had the last time he’d printed out the sales report? If he started crying or had to throw up...
He might as well kiss his career goodbye, because he wouldn’t do either in front of the men he respected most. Get it together, already. If you can’t look at a piece of paper without blubbering like a baby, you don’t deserve this job.
He wanted to pray.
I can’t pray. I haven’t prayed in forever.
God didn’t listen, anyhow.
But what if God did? Today?
No, I’m not doing it. I’m not. I can handle this.
“Hey, Sam.” Dad charged into the room, jangling his key ring around his finger. “You are a sight for sore eyes, son. I’ve wanted to see you right there for so long.”
Sam’s throat tightened. He was going to cry! Right here. Right now.
God, I need Your help. Don’t let me fall apart. Not in front of Dad. Don’t humiliate me.
He inhaled deeply and began to calm down.
When he trusted himself to speak, Sam said, “I’ve wanted to be here. It’s good to be back.”
“You want some coffee?” Dad zoomed straight to the small counter with the coffee supplies.
“Yes.” Maybe coffee would scorch his throat free from any inconvenient emotions.
Tommy and Bryan entered the room, laughing about something, and closed the door behind them.
“Look who made it,” Tommy teased. “I hope you have a good excuse for missing the last seventy-five meetings.”
Sam’s stomach did the tango. He wasn’t going to throw up, was he? He pressed his hand to his gut.
Bryan winked. “We’ll let it slide. As long as you take over the cost-reduction program. I don’t know how you did it, man. It’s been driving me crazy.”
“I cross-referenced all five dealerships’ advertising fees, employee salaries and...” He rattled off the specifics, surprised he remembered the details after all this time. Cost reduction was one of his favorite aspects of the job.
Wait—he didn’t feel sick. He didn’t want to cry.
“See?” Tommy tapped his temple. “This is why we need you back so bad, Sam. Bryan and I hate that stuff.”
Dad slurped his coffee. “I got tired of it, too, boys. The only one who really loved it was my dad. And, apparently, Sam here.”
Sam waved two fingers for Bryan to pass him a folder. “Let’s see what you’ve done with this place while I was gone.”
As he scanned the first sheet of the report, excitement built.
He wanted to make phone calls and check spreadsheets.
He wanted to joke around with the Sheffield Auto employees again.
Could coming to a meeting really be this easy?
Thank You, God.
This was a gift from the Lord.
Maybe he needed to take his faith one day at a time, too.