Now I had a better understanding about why Dee and Ashley had so few belongings, I was even more determined to get them to come with me to buy some clothes. A few days later, I drove to one of the nearby towns to the weekly market. The town square was filled with stalls covered with bright colours like a chaotic rainbow. If this didn’t lift their spirits, nothing would.
‘This takes me back,’ Leo said, marching over to the nearest book stall.
‘Come on, girls,’ I said. ‘Let’s go and find some treats.’
I led them to a favourite stall of mine where two sisters sold their beautifully hand-made children’s clothes. ‘Hello, ladies.’ I kissed them both several times on each cheek. ‘We’re looking for a few things for this little girl.’ I raised Ashley’s hand slightly.
‘They are your guests?’ one of them asked.
‘They’ve come to spend some time with us over the summer.’
‘What is your favourite colour?’ she asked Ashley, obviously taken aback when the child didn’t seem to know how to answer this simple question.
I knew that if anyone had asked Katie the same thing she’d have bellowed ‘pink’ back at them without hesitation. ‘She’s shy,’ I explained. ‘Show us a few things and Ashley can tell us if she likes them, or not.’
I was expecting Dee to involve herself in this bit of shopping, but she walked off towards a nearby pottery stall. Maybe she was trying to show me that she trusted me with her daughter. I briefly watched her studying the vases and plates displayed chaotically on the stall and wondered where she was thinking of keeping them.
Realising one of the sisters was waiting for me to answer, I took my cue from Katie’s taste and chose two skirts, T-shirts and a jacket I thought would suit Ashley. Katie had similar clothes in her wardrobe and loved them. I then bought three brightly coloured towels for them. If they were going to stay, then I was determined to get them out of the house and swimming a few times each week. Maybe I could even change Dee’s mind about going to the farm if I reminded her how heavenly it was to cool off in the pool. Who knew how long this heatwave was going to last, or when they would decide to return to France? I wanted Ashley to have happy memories of her stay with us.
I spotted Dee and Leo through the throngs of shoppers. They were talking in the shadows behind one of the stalls. They seemed to be disagreeing about something, so I focused on keeping Katie and Ashley busy. I loved seeing families making the most of their Sunday together milling around us, chattering as they bartered for produce. As we stopped at each stall, Katie chattered to Ashley, oblivious that their conversation was one-sided.
Seeing Leo by himself, I waved him over. ‘Take these, will you?’ I handed him the basket and two bags I’d been carrying. ‘We still need to buy fruit and veg.’
He pulled a face. ‘Great.’ He grimaced theatrically. ‘What’s in these, logs?’
I giggled and went to inspect some melons I’d seen. I pressed the top lightly and gave them both a sniff. I didn’t need to gauge their freshness, I’d never picked up anything here that hadn’t come straight from the fields either that morning or the day before. Breathing in their cool sweetness, I handed them to the stallholder and studied the grapes. Having bought enough fruit to complete our picnic, I sought out the vegetables we needed and paid for everything, refusing Leo’s attempts to do so.
Dee ambled ahead of us. I walked up to her when I saw she was checking some pottery. ‘That would look perfect in your bedroom at your new home,’ I said.
She frowned. I imagined she was trying to work out if I was hinting at them leaving. ‘The attic has so few pieces in it,’ she murmured. ‘It could do with brightening up.’
I held back a snappy retort. Then, noticing brightly coloured bowls like the ones Katie and I enjoyed eating our cereal or soup from, I decided to buy one as a gift for Ashley.
‘Look,’ I said, lifting a white bowl in front of her, characteristically decorated with a dark red and blue banding around the rim. ‘Would you like one?’
‘Say yes,’ Katie squealed. ‘It’s like mine.’
Ashley treated us to a half-smile and nodded. Delighted with my progress with her, I bought it.
‘Hey, you lot, look what I’ve found,’ Leo shouted from the other side of the square. I hadn’t notice him leaving us and peered over to see what he was so excited about.
‘Come on, girls. You, too, Dee,’ I said, urging them to join him. After a slight hesitation even Dee’s curiosity was roused. ‘What have you found?’ I asked when we reached him.
‘Donuts,’ Leo said, holding up a large cream donut. He closed his eyes and took a large bite. ‘Delicious,’ he mumbled, his mouth full.
‘Please can I have one?’ Katie asked, her eyes wide with anticipation. ‘Ashley wants the same.’
I wasn’t certain she did. ‘Do you?’
She nodded, taking her cue from Katie. I placed our order.
‘Dee?’ I indicated the tempting food. She was painfully thin. I willed her to want one. She’d always loved the cakes when we were teenagers. We had occasionally been treated to them by Hazel from this very market. Unable to hide my delight when she agreed, I put my arm around her shoulders and gave her a hug.
‘I wonder if they’re as good as when we were young,’ I whispered.
‘I doubt it,’ she said, amusement shining through her eyes for once.
It was such a joy to have her acting more like the Dee I remembered.
We held on to our donuts, munching them as we made our way back to the car. It had been a fraught start to the day, but the afternoon was more enjoyable than I could have hoped.
Back at the house, I left the girls playing in the garden and unwrapped our packages with Leo in the kitchen.
‘You’ve spoilt Ashley with all these gifts,’ he said, sounding happy.
‘It’s my pleasure. She has so little of her own here. I thought it might help her feel more at home to have a few personal bits in the house.’
‘That’s very kind of you.’
We put away the shopping. ‘Now, for the picnic,’ I said, washing the grapes and strawberries, before adding them with the melon to Mum’s well-used wicker hamper. Mum had taken me on so many picnics in her old car on afternoons when she had collected me from school. I recalled my excitement at the sight of her old wicker hamper sitting on the back seat, knowing we were off on a ‘mystery tour’. I wouldn’t tell them where we were going because I wanted it to be a surprise.
Next, I rolled up the new towels and took two from the airing cupboard for Katie and me. Finally, we were ready.
‘I know exactly where I’m taking you,’ I said, excited at the thought of our outing. ‘If you don’t have costumes, you can borrow one that Paul left behind. Dee and Ashley can use spares from Katie and me.’
We loaded the car and set off, stopping first at the local baker’s on the edge of Oakwold where Leo bought rolls, then driving out past Beaulieu and into the surrounding hilly countryside. He watched the scenery and pointed out a run-down house, the bright sunshine glowing against the small imperfections in the stone façade and making it glow as if it was on fire.
I slowed down, spotting a roadside stall with an untidy sign letting us know that they had bottles of elderflower juice for sale. I’d stopped here many times over the years and the taste of the sweet drink was like nectar.
‘We must take some of this with us,’ I insisted, when Dee groaned as I stopped the car and got out.
I dropped several coins into a plastic tub and took two bottles. These would make the perfect accompaniment for the food. I handed the bottles across to Leo and set off again.
‘How could I have forgotten the beauty of this place?’ Leo continued, ‘I can’t believe my memories about it are so vague?’
I wasn’t sure. I turned off the main road onto a sloping lane that would lead us down to a quiet spot near the river, perfect for setting up our picnic. The tarmac ended and we continued our lazy drive down a dusty dirt track passing bees and butterflies flitting about the heads of the poppies and cornflowers. Last of all, I took one sharp turn and there was the river.
‘Thank heavens for that,’ Dee groaned from the back of the car. ‘I thought we’d never get here.’
‘It’s lovely,’ Katie said. ‘Do you love it, Ashley?’
I glanced in the rear-view mirror and smiled when I saw Ashley looking at Dee out of the corner of her eye.
‘We’ll have to come here by ourselves, one day,’ Dee said, stroking Ashley’s hair. The young girl looked up at her shyly.
What was it with those two? I couldn’t understand why she was so timid around her mother. I hated to see her fearful of her own mother. Maybe she had witnessed things that caused her to moderate her reactions around Dee. I remembered what Leo had told me and was relieved to be giving Ashley a respite from her life in France.
‘Come on,’ I said, parking the car and getting out. ‘Help me with this hamper and these swimming things.’
Leo went and lifted the hamper out of the small boot. I handed the bags to Dee before unclipping the girls from their car seats and gave each of them a towel to carry.
‘It’s almost two o’clock, we want to make the most of the afternoon,’ I said, catching sight of several sunflowers randomly dotted around the parking area.
‘It’s so hot,’ Dee said, closing the boot of the car and following. There was no need to lock the car, I couldn’t see anyone else in the area.
‘We’ll need to sit in the shade, or we’ll fry in no time.’
I agreed and, spotting a large oak tree, pointed to it. ‘Over there looks shady enough for us and it’s close enough to the water.’
I followed Leo to the patch under the tree and helped him set out the rug and unpack the hamper. Realising I’d forgotten our bag of rolls, I walked back to the car to retrieve them.
After helping Katie change, we walked back to join Leo and Dee. I could see them whispering.
He noticed me coming towards them and cleared his throat. ‘Ready for that swim?’
I was happy to bathe in my T-shirt and shorts, so didn’t bother to put on my swimming costume. I picked Katie up and carefully stepped into the cool water. There had been so little rainfall for the previous few months and such heat that the water level was very low and the current light. It was a shame for the farmers having to water their animals further downstream, but for us it was perfect for swimming and paddling about.
‘This is bliss,’ Dee said, closing her eyes while clasping tightly hold of Ashley’s hand.
‘Why haven’t you brought us here before?’ Leo asked, lying back and resting one arm on the bank. ‘I could have done with this every day of our stay.’
Dee laughed. ‘I’m quite happy not to have to drive all this way every day, thank you.’
‘It isn’t far.’ He glared at her as if daring her to argue. ‘And it’s worth the drive.’
Katie giggled as Leo splashed water in our direction. I held her around her waist, lifting her and swinging her out of the way of the drops of water and then back again for his next gentle onslaught. We enjoyed the coolness of the water against our hot skin for almost an hour.
‘Right, that’s enough now,’ I said lifting her up towards the bank.
Katie wriggled and pleaded to stay in the water. ‘More, Mummy.’
‘Two minutes, Katie. No more,’ I said as Leo and Dee got out and went to sit on their towels.
Eventually, our skin began wrinkling, so I lifted Katie out of the water and onto the bank, the sun glinting off her wet shoulders like diamonds on her golden skin. I ignored her insistence that she hadn’t finished playing in the water.
‘We need to eat something,’ I said, aware that Leo and Dee were whispering again. She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye, said something else and then both focused their attention on me. It was unnerving. ‘Is something the matter?’
‘No, why?’ Leo said, forcing a smile.
I draped a towel around Katie’s shoulders, which she instantly shrugged off. Shaking my head, I started making up our rolls. ‘Hand out the plates.’ I told Katie to keep her out of mischief to give myself time to think about Leo and Dee’s odd behaviour.
‘This is just what I needed,’ Dee said, coming over with Ashley to join us under the shade of the leafy tree. ‘Thanks, Sera.’
Seeing her so relaxed made me wonder if I was being a little over-sensitive. I handed her two plates.
‘The fillings for the rolls are in there.’ I pointed to the small cool box in the hamper, sitting back on my haunches and watching as she caringly put together a small plate of food for herself and Ashley. Maybe all she needed was the peace and quiet of the English countryside, days out with nothing to think about but relishing the sunshine. I hoped so, because these were things I could give her.
I wished I’d brought a camera with me. I watched Katie eating and lay back, closing my eyes, listening as she laughed, chattering away to Ashley who surprised me by speaking a little in a mixture of French and broken English.
Dee hummed tunelessly to herself. I opened one eye and watched Ashley picking at her food. Leo lay back on the rug, closed his eyes and dozed off, snoring lightly. For once, being in their company was relaxing.
‘I don’t mean to be as snappy as I am, Sera,’ Dee said quietly, breaking the silence. ‘I’ve had a difficult time and I think I need to work on myself a bit.’
I knew how it felt to be forced into a situation you hadn’t chosen. ‘Then you’re in the perfect place,’ I said, patting her arm. ‘You take all the time you need.’
We all had another swim to cool down, and wash off the stickiness of the melons from the girls’ faces, before piling back into the car and setting off for home. Both girls fell asleep during the journey. I was happy. Today had gone better than I had hoped. I even felt as if I’d made a breakthrough with my childhood friend.
‘Can we stop for a moment?’ Leo asked, not very far into the journey. ‘I want to take in this view.’
I was happy to oblige.
‘You’re lucky to live here, Sera,’ he said as we stood side by side looking down through different coloured fields to the church steeple standing proudly in the middle of the next town.
I murmured an agreement, enjoying the scene ahead; the sun shining on the river like a silvery ribbon cutting through the countryside. ‘I am,’ I admitted. ‘This is the perfect place for me to bring up Katie. It was a bit awkward moving back in with Mum initially, but I’m glad she insisted we return to live with her.’
‘Maybe Dee and I should buy a small place near here. Then we could be neighbours.’
I wasn’t sure if it was the notion of seeing Dee more, or the thought of them moving from Mum’s and getting their own place, that appealed most.
I noticed the lowering sun reflect off the roof of a house and felt pretty sure it was Henri’s. I wondered why I hadn’t seen him for a while. I had popped to the farm a couple of times earlier in the week to say hi, but he had been out. The last time I pushed a note through his letterbox saying to give me a call if he wanted a chat, but hadn’t heard from him. I hoped he was okay.
Leo nudged me. ‘You okay?’
‘Yes,’ I said, dragging myself back to the present. ‘You should come here when the town is shrouded in mist some mornings. It’s magical.’
He looked at me, went to say something and then changed his mind. ‘We’d better get those two sleepyheads home to bed, they’re exhausted.’
Dee smiled at him when we joined her in the car. ‘It was a good day,’ she said before resting a hand on each of our shoulders. ‘Thanks, Sera.’
I looked at Ashley and Katie, two little girls with such different experiences in life and my heart squeezed in pain. Whatever Dee’s difficulties and however she saw fit to treat Ashley, I needed to support her for the little girl’s sake. For now, I needed to hold my tongue and put Ashley’s feelings before my own. Let her enjoy some of the things Katie took for granted. Let her be as carefree as she could be. While she had the chance.