‘Sera,’ Henri shouted from the doorway of the farmhouse. ‘Let me explain.’
Ignoring Henri’s pleas for me to listen to reason, I turned the key in the ignition and as soon as the engine spluttered into life, pressed my foot down on the accelerator and drove away as fast as I could towards home.
Unable to hold back any longer, I gave into the tears that almost choked me. Damn Henri. How could he expect me to react favourably after admitting he’d been tracking Mum for so many years? I reached out, unclipping the glovebox and rummaging around until my hand found a tissue. ‘Bastard,’ I sniffed, blowing my nose as well as I could manage with only one free hand.
I parked the car outside the house, not bothering to find somewhere shady. Wiping my eyes with my fingers, I composed myself as much as possible. I didn’t want to scare Katie by letting her see me in a dishevelled state. Opening the front door, I walked through to the living room, but it was empty. I could hear Mum’s voice in the kitchen. She must have recognised the echo of my footsteps in the hall because she began speaking to me before I’d even reached the door.
‘I was listening to the news on the car radio, when I collected Katie earlier,’ she said, washing her hands. ‘They’ve given warnings about fires breaking out around here. You know how frightened I am of those things,’ she said without waiting for me to reply. ‘Apparently, the temperatures we’re experiencing now are the hottest for nearly five hundred years. They’re estimating that almost fourteen thousand people have died in France already due to the intensity of the heat and it’s not much cooler here.’
I watched her drying her hands, waiting for her to stop talking so I could ask her to sit and listen to what I had to say.
‘They’re even having problems trying to find places cool enough to store the bod—’ She stopped mid-sentence when she noticed me and frowned. ‘What’s the matter?’ She waved for me to sit.
I peered out of the back door. Spotting Katie going down the steps to the garden I realised, with relief, that she mustn’t have heard me come in. I sat down and blew my nose once again, lowering my head into my hands to try and gather my senses.
‘It’s fine,’ Mum said. ‘She can’t hear us.’ She pushed the back door until it was almost closed and sat facing me. ‘What’s happened? Tell me.’
I could see the concern on her beautifully made-up face and didn’t want to worry her any longer than I had already. I explained about my visit to Henri’s and repeated everything he’d told me. I expected, well, hoped mostly, that Mum would laugh it off. Tell me not to be so sensitive, which would have been her usual quip for something like this. Instead, she leant back in her chair, unblinking and silent. The colour in her face drained and for the second time in as many days she looked as if she was about to pass out.
I moved forward, resting my hands on her knees. ‘Mum? What is it?’
Her breathing came in short bursts and she closed her eyes. I ran to the sink and poured her a glass of water. ‘Take a sip of this,’ I said, my voice quivering. I watched her do as I asked, and she seemed to calm down a little.
This reaction was completely different to the one I’d imagined.
‘Mum,’ I asked quietly, when she had regained a little colour in her cheeks. ‘Who was Vincent?’
She stood up. Before she could take a step, she wavered, went to grab the table, missed, and dropped. I reached out to her, unable to stop her hitting her head against the table on her way down, but managing to catch her so she didn’t land too heavily on the tiled floor.
‘Mum?’ I said, trying not to panic. My tough mother, always so cynical and ballsy, had collapsed. I struggled to recollect any first aid. Grabbing one of the cushions from the nearest chair, I lifted her head carefully to slide it underneath. Then, making sure she was on her side in the recovery position, I ran to the back door for help.
‘Leo!’ I couldn’t find him and for a second wasn’t sure what to do next. Grabbing a clean tea towel from a drawer, I wet it under the tap, squeezing out the excess water as I returned to sit next to her. At least the tiles were cool, which in the heat could only be a good thing.
‘Mum?’ I said, stroking her clammy forehead, dabbing the broken skin near her temple where her head had connected with the table. ‘It’s okay. Everything’s fine.’
I tapped her cheek lightly. Relief poured through me when I noticed her lashes move slightly. Her eyes flickered once and then opened wide. She went to sit up, so I held the damp tea towel against the side of her head with one hand and grabbed hold of her shoulder with the other to slow her down.
‘What happened?’
‘Take it easy,’ I soothed. ‘You’ve had a bit of a fall.’
I passed her the drink, watching her take a few sips. I could see she was trying to recall what had happened. She gasped, covering her mouth with her free hand. She looked at me, her face taut with fear.
I took the glass from her, placing it out of the way on the table. ‘Let me help you up,’ I suggested, taking her arm and wanting to get her sitting more comfortably.
She reached out and took hold of the side of the table and together we managed to get her to her feet. ‘I don’t want to be in here if Katie comes in,’ she said.
‘Okay, let’s go through to the living room?’
I helped her walk down through the hallway. She sat down on one side of the large yellow sofa and I placed a cushion behind her back.
‘Thank you, darling,’ she said, her voice shaky.
I opened my mouth to speak, but before I managed to utter a word the doorbell rang. ‘I hope it’s not the police again,’ I groaned, shocked when I noticed Mum tense and move to get up. ‘No, you stay there. I’ll tell them to come back another time.’
I walked down the hallway and pulled the front door open, a scowl on my face, ready to give them a mouthful for coming back again so soon.
‘Sera,’ Henri said. He looked devastated. For a second I almost forgot what he had done. ‘I must speak with you.’
I glared at him. ‘Seriously?’ I shook my head. ‘You can’t honestly believe we’ve got anything to say to each other now.’ I sighed heavily. ‘You’ve been snooping in my mother’s past, Henri.’
‘You ’ave to listen to me.’
‘No.’ I held my hand up to stop him coming any closer. ‘I’ve told Mum what you’ve been doing.’ I could feel tears welling inside me. ‘Hell, Henri, she bloody passed out. I don’t know what you think you’ve discovered about her, but whatever it is, she’s very frightened, and I’m not having anyone do that to her. Do you understand me?’
He looked as if he hated me at that second, or maybe it was my mother his anger was directed towards, I wasn’t sure. ‘I am French, Sera, not stupid, of course I understand you. But there are things I must tell you.’
‘I said, no.’ I had no intention of him coming to this house and causing more disruption.
He moved to leave, then stopped and looking at me over his shoulder said, ‘If you wished to confide in me, I would always believe you. Why can you not trust me?’
I did trust him; that was the problem. How could I admit to him that my problem wasn’t his honesty, but my shock at discovering my only parent had a secret that traumatised her so utterly? I stepped outside, holding the door closed behind me, so that Mum couldn’t hear what I had to say.
‘When I told my mother what you’d said, her reaction was far more intense than I expected. I’ve always suspected she had something in her past, but not something as big as this.’ He looked forlorn. Every part of me wanted to forgive him and forget what I’d discovered. ‘You have your quest to find out what happened to your father. I have to ensure Mum is okay.’ I tried to sound reasonable. ‘We might not like it, but we’re linked by something horrifying from both our parents’ pasts.’
He reached out and rested the palm of his hand against my cheek. ‘I understand,’ he hesitated. ‘I will leave you to care for her.’
I watched him walk away, his shoulders stooped. I wanted to follow him. Henri disappeared around the corner at the end of the street and I went back inside to join Mum.
I crouched down in front of her. As I did so I spotted a cigarette end in the fireplace. Mum hated smoking and forbade anyone doing it in her house. I had never seen Dee or Leo smoking, so assumed it must have been someone else, but who? She squeezed my hand to get my attention. I looked at her, forcing a smile. ‘What is it?’
She stared at me without speaking for a moment, looking if she was about to cry. I moved a little closer to her. It unnerved me that something I’d said caused such a drastic change in her usual calm persona.
She exhaled sharply. ‘Sera, there’s something I must tell you.’
‘What is it?’ I said, nervous to discover what it was.
‘Years ago—’ She cleared her throat. She seemed to reconsider how to tell me. ‘There was this man.’ She took her hand from mine and covered her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, I can’t think straight.’
I smiled to reassure her. ‘It’s fine. Whatever it is, you can tell me.’
She parted her hands, placing one hand either side of her face, trying to weigh up my reaction.
‘I will always love you,’ I said. ‘I don’t care what you tell me, nothing will ever change that.’
She winced, as if in physical pain. I wondered if the cut on her head was as painful as it looked. ‘Will you, though, Seraphina? I’m not so sure.’
‘Yes. I will.’
‘You’re such a kind, trusting girl. You have no idea how devious people can be, or how cruel.’
I was intrigued. ‘So, tell me.’ I wanted to know everything I could about her. ‘Stop fretting and spit it out.’
‘This man,’ she said. ‘Your father.’
I gasped. She had never mentioned my father before. Eventually, I gave up asking. This was the first time she had been the one to start a conversation about him.
‘I should have told you about him years ago,’ she said, sighing heavily. ‘He died.’
I couldn’t help being disappointed that I’d never get to meet him. ‘That’s it?’
She shook her head, taking the cloth from her head and inspecting the blood that had seeped into the pristine cloth. ‘I was there when he died.’
I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, but was desperate for her to continue. ‘And?’
‘Hazel was, too.’
Before I could say anything further, Dee and Leo entered the room.
‘Sorry,’ Leo said frowning. ‘I didn’t realise you were in here.’
‘Would you mind leaving us for a bit?’ Mum said. ‘We’re having a chat.’
He looked concerned. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yes. Fine, thanks,’ I said, willing him to go. I didn’t want to give Mum a chance to change her mind about confiding in me. I watched him put his arm around Dee’s shoulders and lead her out towards the garden.
‘Right, Mum,’ I said, as I as soon as they had left. ‘Tell me everything.’
She smiled at me, back to her usual reserved demeanour that I was used to. ‘No, darling, I was being silly. Really, it was nothing.’
‘Too bad,’ I said, irritated that she’d done exactly what I’d been afraid of. ‘I’m sick of people fobbing me off. Something happened in the past with you and Hazel, and I want to know about it, now.’
I repeated everything Henri had said to me, watching the colour drain from her face once again, but this time not caring that she didn’t like what she was hearing.
‘So, he’s a detective then. I always said there was something shady about him,’ she sneered. ‘And he’s seen fit to poke his nose into my affairs?’
‘Well, Hazel’s affairs, if we’re being precise.’
‘How dare he come to you with gossip about me?’ She sat up straighter, more like her old self, which I admit made me feel much better. ‘He knows where to find me and come here to discuss this with me, not you.’
I didn’t mind her getting angry, I’d probably react the same if I was in her place. I wanted to know what made her keep secrets from me for all these years. ‘What have you been hiding from me, Mum?’
She stared at me and I could see tiredness wash over her. ‘Your father.’ She stuck her perfect chin out defiantly.
‘Yes, who was he?’ I concentrated on hiding my excitement.
‘Hazel and I… Well, we killed him.’
It wasn’t what I was expecting to hear. I stared open-mouthed at her, stunned by the brutal way she’d delivered her admission. Before I’d gathered my senses enough to process this mind-numbing information, Leo ran into the room, crashing the door back against the wall.
‘Have you seen Dee? I only left her for a moment to get her a drink. She’s gone.’
I was still staring at Mum, trying to take in what she’d told me in this latest drama.
‘There have been updates on the radio about fires moving in this direction,’ he added.
I recalled Mum mentioning the fires. This would have to wait until later. I listened to him telling us about the devastation the fires were leaving in their wake. I couldn’t bear the idea of losing my home and the precious memories my belongings held for me.
‘Have you checked Dee’s room?’ Mum asked, unable to keep her irritation in check.
‘Yes,’ he replied, his right hand clenched so tightly into a fist that the bones of his knuckles seemed about to burst through his skin. ‘But that’s not all. I can’t find Ashley either.’