Chapter 13

When Elizabeth came down for dinner, her friends and family were delighted she was much improved. She smiled at them all and made her apologies. “I am sorry to have caused concern where there should have been none. The pain was so great I could not remain in the company of Mr. Darcy’s family.”

She was not lying about the pain, just that it had been in her head. The pain had been in her heart to see Mr. Wickham here amongst the good people of Hertfordshire.

Since they had all returned, Elizabeth had paid calls with Caroline to the Lucases, Miss King and Mrs. Long and her youngest daughter, the vicar, and several elderly widows. The young ladies of Hertfordshire were all in danger of ruin with the lieutenant present.

Even now, Wickham was likely gambling or running up debts. It was what he had done in Kympton and Lambton and the reason he could never have had the living at Kympton.

Aunt Madeline rose and took her hand. “Come sit with me, dear, and do not worry. Mr. and Miss Bingley have assured us the Darcys were worried too.”

Elizabeth did not think her departure had caused such concern until her aunt produced a note that had been brought from Longbourn. Inside, Miss Darcy had written that she hoped Elizabeth was well and that even Mr. Darcy had been concerned.

“How very kind of her to write me. I must pay a call on the morrow to show her I am indeed well.”

The conversation turned to Bingley’s wedding to Miss Darcy and Caroline said that with it being after the new year they might not expect many of their friends from London.

“I do not mind, Caro, for there will be many of Georgiana’s friends here and her family. We do not require a large wedding. It will be all the more special with only those who love us best present,” Bingley said and Elizabeth thought he was most romantic to say such a thing in front of them all.

“We had better busy ourselves with wedding preparations then,” Elizabeth said and looked to her aunt.

“It is a pity Bingley’s hothouses have not yet been filled with wonderful specimens to choose from, but greenery from the woods will do perfectly well. We must go out with the footmen to find just the perfect branches and send to Meryton for all their wax candles,” Madeline Gardiner said as she stood and began counting on her fingers the things that must be done.

Caroline joined in the planning. “Eliza, you and I could accompany Miss Darcy to London to gather her trousseau.”

Bingley reddened at this and looked to Elizabeth’s uncle. “I believe this is where we make our exit, sir.”

He agreed and stood to quit the parlor. He kissed his wife before leaving with Bingley.

“I do not know that I am needed on this trip to London. I would not like to see my mother as she loves to frequent the shops in Mayfair when in Town. With Jane’s wedding day near, I am certain she is flitting about gathering a trousseau as well,” Elizabeth explained, her voice trembling when she mentioned her sister Jane.

Her aunt took her hand. “Surely you would not miss Janey’s wedding, my dear. You will regret it if you do.”

Elizabeth swiped at the tears that gathered as her aunt pulled her close. “Jane has written begging me to return to London, but I do not see how I might with my mother so angry. I imagine she is even more upset that Jane has said she wishes to marry her gentleman in Town instead of at Pemberley.”

“Edward and I will go to London and open our townhome. It has been so long since we were there, it might take a bit to gather up servants and such but it is for Jane’s wedding. You may stay with us.”

“Are you certain it would be no trouble?” Elizabeth asked, her heart longing to see her dearest sister again.

“We had no intention of missing Jane’s wedding so it will not be a burden my dear. Let us help Bingley and Miss Darcy marry and then we are off to Town for Jane’s wedding. It will be great fun and good practice for us as your cousins will be of marriageable age in a few years,” Aunt Madeline laughed and Elizabeth knew all was right in her world.

Caroline steered them back to their plans and the ladies had their list completed for wedding preparations by the time dinner was served.

The next day, Elizabeth went alone to pay a call at Longbourn to thank Miss Darcy for her concern. Hill, the housekeeper, said the young lady was not home but out with her cousin and aunt on a trip into Meryton.

Mr. Darcy arrived on a huge, black horse as Elizabeth was turning to take the carriage back to Netherfield.

She stepped forward and ran a hand along the horse’s mane delighting in the soft, long hair. “My, he is a beautiful specimen. I would love to ride him sometime if it pleases you.”

Mr. Darcy dismounted and made a bow to her, his smile bright as the winter sun in a cloudless sky. “He is strong and obstinate, Miss Bennet. If you are a skilled horsewoman, I think you still might find him a challenge.”

“I have several horses at Pemberley as big as this brute, Mr. Darcy. I do not fear them for I know exactly how to handle such creatures,” Elizabeth took the horses reins and walked with Mr. Darcy to his small stable.

“I do not know many ladies who would wish to ride Lucifer. His name is well-earned.” He took the reins from her and handed them to his stable boy.

“I came to see your sister and assure her I am well. I am sorry she is out at the moment.” Elizabeth shielded her eyes from the sun as they made their way back to Longbourn’s front door.

“She will be sorry to have missed your visit but I will tell her I saw for myself that you are indeed well,” Mr. Darcy said, his voice holding a playful air.

Elizabeth wanted to stay and talk with him, but it would not be proper to invite herself into his home. Instead, she gave him her thanks and said her goodbye.

Mr. Darcy reached out his hand when she turned to go. “Will you wait just a moment, Miss Bennet? I wanted to ask you something, or rather tell you something.”

Her heart raced as she placed her hand in his. He led her to the path that ran down the side of the house to the gardens. There was a bench by the little wood that blocked Longbourn from the lane that led toward Netherfield.

They sat together and Mr. Darcy took her other hand. He was troubled, that much she could tell. “Mr. Darcy, what is it that troubles you?”

He silenced her with words that tumbled forth. “In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.”

Elizabeth was stunned into silence. She had thought he might say that he wished to know her better or begin a courtship but he had used the word love.

He waited patiently for her to speak, his gaze never wavering.

She swallowed and licked her lips before biting the corner of her lower lip. “Mr. Darcy,” she began, “were you hoping I might marry you?”

He dropped his gaze then and shrugged. “There was a time I hoped for such a thing but now, I am uncertain. I have learned things that leave me unsettled.”

Elizabeth had not expected this declaration either. Her day had turned out quite differently than she planned. She pulled her hands from his and stood, wondering just what he had learned about her from anyone in Hertfordshire.

Before she could think better of it, she exclaimed, “This is all the reply I might expect? I wish to be informed why I am thus rejected. What have you learned of me?”

Mr. Darcy stood and faced her, his own ire rising with hers. “Did you not try to turn your friend’s affections from my sister? She is a wonderful girl and a good match for Bingley. She had never done a thing to warrant such treatment as you gave her. And what you did to Lieutenant Wickham was a most terrible thing to do to a young man. I was astonished to learn of these things. I thought you were better than a proud and spoilt woman, but you are not. And yet, I do love you. What I might do about that is more than I can bear to think of at the moment.”

Elizabeth was livid. “Why would you think to tell me of your admiration and love when you feel you have mistaken my character? You have laid these sins at my feet without affording me the grace to explain what you have so obviously misunderstood. I could have loved you, no, I did love you. I wanted you in spite of the fact my mother would never speak to me again. How could I have thought you might be the gentleman to rise to the station afforded the man who will be my husband? Good day, Mr. Darcy.”

Elizabeth ran to her carriage from the garden, tears falling freely down her face. Mr. Darcy called to her, but she would not allow him to see how he had broken her heart.