Fourteen

Genesis

It was almost seven when I heard the keys in the door rattle. Kye hadn’t called or texted since this morning. I had started to think he’d forgotten about me and our plans. There was always the strip club that could easily distract him. If he’d gotten a naughty text, it was likely he’d taken off for Devil’s.

Twice, I’d been tempted to text him, but I had talked myself out of it. It wasn’t like I didn’t have plenty to do around here. I’d taken the time to put away the Christmas decorations, done some house cleaning, and started sketching a design that had been playing out in my head.

When the door opened, I glanced up from my sketchbook to say something, but then my eyes dropped to the infant car seat Kye was holding in his left hand. My eyes shot back up to his, and the expression on his face made my heart rate speed up. I moved my sketchbook and pencil to the coffee table and stood up from the sofa, then walked over to him, staring at the item I had never imagined seeing in Kye’s hand.

My hand flew to my mouth the moment I saw the tiny baby covered with a blanket. Its little eyes were closed as it slept. I reached for the blanket and pulled it back to find the rest of its sweet body. The blue pajamas were stained.

“Kye, did you steal someone’s baby? Please tell me you didn’t kill its parents.” I said it to be funny, but the lost, frightened expression on Kye’s face worried me.

Had this baby had parents who had pissed off the underworld?

“Neither,” he said in a hoarse voice. “He’s … he’s mine.”

My hand fell away from my mouth, and I straightened to stare at him. In horror.

What did he mean, this baby was his? Oh my God. OH MY GOD!

“And his momma?” I choked out.

“Dropped him off like an unwanted animal outside Devil’s.” His words were hard now. Angry.

My chest hurt as I sank down to my knees in front of the carrier as he set it on the floor. “You’re sure he’s yours? I mean, don’t you always use condoms?”

That was a conversation we’d had more than once. I’d warned him he was going to get a disease, sticking his penis into so many vaginas.

“He’s mine. Paternity test confirmed it. And I always wear a condom. It seems one of my piercings punctured a condom. Never happened before. I didn’t remember it. I was drunk,” he said, then dropped a letter beside me. “It’s all in there. You’ll see his mom is a real fucking winner.”

I reached for the letter and unfolded it, then read it. Every word made me feel sick. This woman was a terrible person. I blinked and realized my eyes were watering. My heart was breaking for this little life. How could someone do this?

I put the letter down and began to unbuckle the seat. Someone needed to hold him. He hadn’t been held and loved. How old was he? Oh God, I couldn’t handle this.

“What’s his name?” I asked, taking him from the seat and cuddling him against me.

“Jagger Henley Ward,” he replied.

“How old is he? He’s so little.”

“Birth certificate says he was born December 23.”

“He’s not even two weeks old,” I whispered.

Kye sighed. “I don’t know what I’m gonna do, Baby Doll.”

I looked from the sweet little face to Kye’s pained one. There was no need to lecture him on how this was what happened when you slept around all the time. He was learning that lesson already. This was done. A life had been created.

“Well, first, I’m going to change his diaper. Do you have diapers in that bag?” I asked, looking at the blue bag he’d brought in with him.

He held it out to me. “Yeah. But I think he will need more, and there’s only a little of that milk powder stuff left that he drinks in his bottle.”

“Formula,” I replied. “Let me get him changed and see what he has in here. Then, I’ll go to the store. Unless it’s time for him to eat. When did he eat last?”

Kye looked panicked for a moment. “Uh, fuck, I think it was four hours ago. Maybe three.”

“He needs to eat again. Changing his diaper will wake him up, and he’s gonna be hungry,” I said as I put the bag on the table and found the formula. There was enough for one more feeding. “I can feed him, too, and then we need to go buy things. A lot of things. Is this all you have?”

He nodded slowly.

“Okay, first, diaper change and feeding. See if there’re any other pieces of clothing in there. He’s got spit-up on this one.”

Kye walked over, his eyes going to Jagger briefly, as if he was nervous, before looking through the bag. “Uh, yeah. Just this though,” he said, holding up a gown with monkeys on it. “Why does he have a dress?”

I smiled. “It’s a gown.”

He frowned. “A gown, a dress—same thing. He’s a boy.”

I took the gown from him. “Infants sleep in gowns. It’s easier for diaper changes at night.”

He didn’t look convinced. I took Jagger over to the sofa and laid him down.

This was going to sink in later when I had time to think about it. I knew, right now, I was doing what had to be done for Jagger. My chest was still aching when I thought about him being ignored and unwanted. If I let myself think about that too much, I was going to fall apart. This was Kye’s baby! The idea of any baby being unwanted and neglected hurt my heart, but this was different. This was breathtakingly painful because this was Kye’s baby.

“Thank you, Baby Doll. I don’t know … I’m still processing. I think I’m in shock. I just … I can’t do this. I’m scared to hold him. I might break him. Just … thank you. For this.”

I looked up at him. He was staring at Jagger’s face. He wasn’t someone who could raise a kid, and he wasn’t going to ever get married. I knew he was already preparing to give this baby up for adoption, and honestly, it was for the best. But could I handle that? Knowing Kye had a baby out there and I didn’t know him? That he didn’t know who his parents were? This was too much right now. Jagger’s immediate needs came first.

“I’ll teach you how to hold him,” I said. Because he was going to hold this baby.

Jagger needed one of his parents to hold him so he felt that love in his life. I knew Kye better than anyone else, and although he was currently shaken up, this was his kid. He would love it. Even if he didn’t mean to, he would.

“Maybe it’s best I don’t. I’m gonna give him to a good family.” He said what I’d already assumed he was thinking.

“That might be the case, but in his life, he’s going to have the experience of being held by his father. He needs to feel that connection even if he doesn’t remember it years from now. He deserves it. Especially after having lived his first ten days on this earth with that woman.”

I didn’t look up to see what he was thinking as I changed Jagger’s diaper. He opened his eyes, and his little face got red right before he began crying.

“Is he okay?” Kye asked, sounding anxious.

“Yes. He is mad about the diaper change and getting his clothes changed. He’s also awake and hungry. It’s all normal.”

“You’re sure? I shouldn’t call Carmichael?”

I frowned, picking Jagger up in his clean gown and holding him close to my chest. “Who is Carmichael?” I asked.

“The family’s doctor.”

I laughed. “The Lords of the Underworld have their own doctor? Of course they do. And, no, do not call a doctor because he’s crying. Now, sit down.”

Kye sat where I had been, and I bent down with Jagger.

“You have to be very careful with his head. Always support it. He can’t control it yet.”

“You’re giving him to me now?! While he’s crying?”

“Do you know how to fix a bottle?” I asked him pointedly.

“No,” he replied.

“Didn’t think so. Now, hold your son.”

Kye held out his hands awkwardly, and I chuckled.

“Take his head in your palm, then bring him in close to your chest,” I instructed.

Kye looked terrified, but he did what I’d told him to do.

When he had Jagger against him, the crying stopped, and Jagger stared up at Kye. I blinked back my tears and stood up. I could not get emotional about this. I had to stay strong and focused. I might not be able to keep Jagger myself, but I would make sure we found him the best parents in the world.

“Hey,” Kye said to him, and Jagger’s little eyes widened. “I think I startled him,” Kye said, glancing up at me, concerned.

“He’s listening. Talk to him. He needs kind words. We don’t know what all he’s heard from the woman who gave birth to him.”

Kye looked back down at him. “Yeah, she was a real bitch.”

“Kye, language. Don’t curse. Sweet words.”

“What are sweet words?” he asked me.

“Just no cursing and no talking about the underworld.”

He grinned as he stared at Jagger. “She’s vetoing the good stuff,” he told him.

I went to make the last bottle while I listened to Kye talk to him. This was not at all something I’d thought we would ever experience together, but I realized it might be the only time I got to see Kye be a dad. It was sad to me that he didn’t want this in his future. A wife, a family. Well, a real family. Not the underworld.

I found the distilled water that had been packed in the bag and wondered if the mom had left this or if Kye had gotten it somewhere else. I was just about done when my phone rang. I pulled it out of my pocket and saw Bowie’s name. I couldn’t talk to him right now. I sent it to voice mail, then headed back to the living room.

Kye looked up at me when I handed him the bottle.

“You look comfortable. Time for lesson two,” I said.

He reached out and took it from me. “You sure this is a good idea?” he asked.

I nodded. “Yep.”

Kye held the bottle and stared down at Jagger. “What do I do?”

“Put the nipple in his mouth,” I replied.

“Not words I’m used to hearing you say, Baby Doll,” he replied with a smirk.

“Don’t make it dirty, Kye. You’re feeding your son.”

“You’re the one who said nipple,” he replied.

Jagger let out a wail, and Kye put the bottle into his mouth. It only took him a second to realize it was there, and his lips clamped down on it and sucked.

“Too bad you don’t get to suck on the real thing, little man,” Kye said to him.

“Maybe we should add not talking about sexual things to the list of stuff that’s inappropriate,” I suggested.

Kye lifted his gaze to me. “What? It’s true. The one time in a male’s life he gets to suck on big, full tits all the damn time, and he’s missing it. Just seems like he is being robbed.”

I sat down beside him, watching the two of them. “He won’t remember,” I told him.

Kye ran his hand gently over the white-blond hair covering Jagger’s head. “He’s got the same hair I did when I was a baby.”

I’d seen the pictures. I should have noticed it immediately, but in my head, it just didn’t click that Kye could be a father. That was not where my thoughts had been going. But the more I looked at Jagger, especially when his eyes were open, I could see Kye. So much Kye.

My phone began to ring again, and I pulled it out to see Bowie’s name. I had to talk to him, or he’d get worried. I stood back up and walked toward the kitchen before I answered.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Why did you send me to voice mail?” he asked.

“I couldn’t answer right then.” I left out why.

“What were you doing?”

I should have known he was going to ask. I didn’t know if Kye wanted me to talk about this. I walked back to the living room, and from the doorway, I pointed at the baby, then at the phone. Kye shook his head. I had guessed that. He didn’t want me telling anyone.

“I was trying to make a reservation with a bakery to taste vegan cake options,” I lied. It was on my to-do list though, and I planned on doing that tomorrow.

Kye’s eyes widened, as if he were impressed by my convincing lie. I turned and walked back to the kitchen.

“We don’t have to do a vegan one, but I have several friends who are also vegan. It’s becoming more popular. Maybe do a small one, and then the big one can be a regular cake.”

That sounded like it would work.

“Okay,” I told him. “If you’re sure.”

“Yeah. Besides, I’ve not convinced you that life is better as a vegan yet. Until I do, I figure you want the regular cake.”

This man was delusional if he thought I was giving up ribs. Or steak. Or bacon. Not happening.

“Don’t get your hopes up,” I replied.

He laughed. “We’ll see. But anyway, I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to bed. I’ve got an early morning tomorrow, and I have some work to get done first.”

“Okay,” I replied. “Good night. Love you.”

“Sleep tight. Love you,” he replied, then ended the call.

I headed back for the living room, and Kye was holding an empty bottle. I tossed the burp cloth over my shoulder and took Jagger from him.

“After he eats, you have to burp him,” I explained, and he watched me until a loud little belch came out, making Kye laugh.

“All right, good job, both of you,” I said, amused. “Ready to go shopping?”

Kye stood up. “Yeah. Let’s go do this.”

I moved Jagger back to the crook of my arm, and he was watching me. “We are going to go get you all the things you need,” I told him. “When we get back, we can get you a nice, warm bath.”

Because I wasn’t sure the last time he’d had one. The woman who had written the letter Kye had shown me didn’t seem like one to bother with bathing her child.

“How do we bathe him?” Kye asked me.

“We will get an infant tub,” I told him. “And baby washcloths and baby shampoo and a baby towel.”

Kye nodded once. “Got it. In other words, I am about to go broke.”

Smiling, I walked over to the infant seat. “I think that’s the general consensus among all parents.”

I buckled Jagger in and covered him back up with the blanket. Kye picked it up by the handle. Why did he have to look so sexy, carrying a baby seat?