I can honestly say that watching Erin and her parents walk away, cocooned in one another’s love, was one of the most satisfying things I had ever seen. It was how a family should be. Knowing I was partially responsible for reuniting them felt wonderful.
The afternoon had been as quiet as I had expected and had given me the chance to chat with a few of the other traders I had known over the years. It had also given me the opportunity to sell Erin’s ring to a jewellery enthusiast I knew. I could have sold it to a punter, who would no doubt have loved the one-carat radiant diamond that was a lot more valuable than Erin had suspected. Yet like me, the trader had known immediately what it was and offered me a very good price. However, I’d had the devil about me and haggled, securing Erin with more money than either she or I had a right to expect.
Now, as I sat in the hotel bar with an illegal gin and tonic I knew was against doctor’s orders, I found myself imagining just what it would be like to be a part of Erin’s family reunion. But then, I thought, savouring a delicious sip of bitingly cool gin, it was a rather private affair, just as my reunion with Jack had been.
At the thought of Jack, I felt a shiver of delight and a pang of disgust. I had hoped that after a good night’s sleep I would feel a lot calmer about everything but I was still as upset as I had been when I left him. The same question had been burning in my mind all day – why on earth did the men in my life feel as if I couldn’t cope? I had been raised by a father who was rather ahead of his time and believed women weren’t frightened little mice that needed to be protected. Instead, he raised me to believe that women were just as strong as men, so when did that change? What had Harry seen in me that made him think I needed protecting from every little thing that could go wrong, and when had I allowed that to happen?
I managed a smile. Perhaps the fault was just as much mine as it was Harry and Jack’s. I had allowed this to happen. I had allowed them both to believe I couldn’t cope – they hadn’t just suddenly decided.
I took another sip of my drink and stared out of the window at the passers-by strolling along the Champs-Élysées basking in the late afternoon sun, without a care in the world – or at least that was how it seemed to me.
Finishing my drink, I signalled to the waiter to fetch me another and tried to relax and enjoy the city as I always used to. This hotel had been a favourite of Harry’s and we had always enjoyed such happy times when we stayed here. After the fair, we would often return to the champagne bar and celebrate a fabulous day’s takings or commiserate at how much we had lost over some poorly judged purchases. We would be joined by friends and would drink well into the night, laughing and chatting about all our latest news and calling order on all the Simon and Garfunkel Appreciation Society antics. I shook my head in sadness at the memory – that was it now, all my best days were behind me, what did I have to look forward to?
Just then, the waiter returned with my drink. ‘For you madam, and also, reception have telephoned me to let you know you have two visitors. Are you happy for me to send them up?’
I frowned. ‘I’m not expecting anyone. Did they say who they were?’
The waiter shook his head. ‘I can send them away if you’d like?’
I was about to nod and say I’d rather be left alone, when I remembered that earlier that morning I had got chatting to an old friend, Pierre, who ran a stall in Lyons with his wife Yvette. We hadn’t seen one another for years and I had suggested they drop by the hotel for drinks and indulge in a little Society reunion.
Giving the waiter my best smile, I cleared my throat. ‘Send them up and could you bring us a bottle of your finest Sancerre please and three glasses.’
I was used to company during these fairs and it would be nice to share a glass with someone else. I took another sip and savoured the taste before my guests arrived, the illicitness of the act only making the drink taste all the more delicious. I had promised myself that my drinking days would be over after this trip, but for now, I simply wanted to enjoy the moment.
Just a few moments later the waiter set down the bottle and glasses. I looked up to thank him, only to drop my jaw in shock. My visitors were not Pierre and Yvette, but Jack and Jacob. As they threaded their way through the tables, I felt alarmed to see Jack had a rather determined look in his eye.
‘What are you doing here Jack?’ I hissed as he arrived at the table, Jacob standing sheepishly behind him. ‘I told you I needed time.’
Ignoring me, Jack sat down and glanced at me defiantly before gesturing for Jacob to do the same. I lifted my chin and met his gaze.
‘And I wanted to talk to you,’ he said firmly. ‘This is silly, Lydia.’
I turned to Jacob who I noticed with some satisfaction looked a little more hesitant at being here than Jack. ‘What do you think?’
‘Me?’ Jacob looked at me in horror. ‘This has nothing to do with me at all, Lydia. I said to Granddad that this was a bad idea, but he was insistent.’
‘I can well imagine,’ I said drily before turning back to Jack. ‘So now you’re here what is it you want?’
‘There’s no need to be like this, Lydia, really,’ Jack tried again. ‘Surely it’s all water under the bridge now, it was so long ago.’
‘Maybe to you,’ I snapped, ‘but all of this is very new to me, so you must forgive me if I can’t suddenly let it all go overnight and laugh it off as you and Harry did.’
‘Harry never did that,’ Jack said, leaning forward in his chair. ‘Believe me, he was in agony over all this. I could tell he felt conflicted, but he was terrified of losing you.’
‘But that didn’t stop you going along with what he suggested. You could have talked sense into him, Jack. Made him see that I could make up my own mind.’
Jack looked uncomfortable and I saw him glance longingly at the bottle of wine and empty glasses the waiter had set on the table. ‘Well, I thought it was for the best once Harry came to see me and explained everything. You had been through enough – I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.’
‘And as I said to you last night, it was up to me to decide,’ I said, breaking off with a sigh. ‘Look, I don’t want to go over all this again.’
‘And that’s not why I’m here,’ Jack began again. ‘It really has been such a pleasure to see you, Lydia. Despite our row I haven’t felt so happy in such a long time. None of us are getting any younger, don’t you think we can just let this pass now? Move on, eh?’
Reaching for the wine, I said nothing as I poured out three glasses. As I pushed one towards him, I found myself seeing Jack with fresh eyes. I remembered how Jack hadn’t just hated being told what to do but he had also detested rows and confrontation too, preferring the easier life. As for me, arguments weren’t something I enjoyed but they weren’t something I had ever shied away from either. I preferred to clear the air in a way that allowed us to grow. It was something Harry and I had in common from the outset. It wasn’t that we made a point of arguing, but we had always insisted on talking through an issue, usually while listening to a Simon and Garfunkel song. We would stay up until the wee hours sometimes, but we had always sorted out our problems and had never once gone to bed without settling our differences first.
Now, after so long, the truth was beginning to dawn on me – despite my doubts when I found that letter, Jack was never my first real love or my soulmate. It had been Harry all along. He and I had built a life together, growing with each other, learning from one another, leaning on one another through bad times and good. I couldn’t honestly say whether or not I would have chosen Jack over Harry had I received his letter all that time ago as he intended, but looking at Jack now, I realised I had been looking at the past through rose-tinted glasses. Jack had been good for me as a teenager but who was to say if he would have been good for me as an adult? It was Harry who had held me after I gave birth to our son, Harry who had kissed away my tears when my beloved father died and Harry I had spent nights laughing uncontrollably with over something that had happened in the shop. He made me happy, he made me feel safe and he had always put me first, just as he had by seeking Jack out when his letter came through the door and asking him to leave me alone. He would have known he was taking a huge risk going behind my back, but he did it anyway because he loved me. It was the same reason he had hidden the truth from me about our finances, and now I felt all the anger I had been carrying over Harry’s betrayal melt away. I realised he hadn’t acted out of malice or spite; it had been pure and simple love.
It was time to forgive, forget and look to the future. Erin had done that very thing this afternoon by embracing her parents and saying goodbye to her past – I needed to do the same.
‘I think you’re right, Jack.’ I lifted my glass. ‘We are too old to let this drag on. How about we toast to friendship and the joy of finding one another again after all these years?’
Jack’s face lit up. ‘I’ll drink to that.’
‘So will I.’ Jacob laughed in relief as he clinked his glass against ours.
Taking a sip of wine, I felt contentment slide through me. It had been good for me to come here and lay old ghosts to rest. And yes, there had been some surprises in store, shocks I hadn’t expected, but there had also been some joy. Watching Erin and her parents walk through the doors of the champagne bar, I got to my feet and smiled.
‘Over here,’ I called.
As the trio threaded their way through the tables, I signalled to the waiter to bring us three extra chairs and another bottle of wine with extra glasses.
‘You all look rather happy,’ I said, taking in their beaming faces.
‘I think we are,’ Erin said shyly, as she took a seat next to Jacob. I couldn’t miss the gentle yet knowing smile that passed between them. These two could be a good match, I thought, but that was something for them to find out – my meddling days were over.
‘I think we’re on cloud nine,’ Tom chuckled, sitting next to his daughter and filling her glass.
‘Wonderful!’ I grinned, raising my own drink towards them as I introduced them to Jack and Jacob.
‘So will you be staying in the city long?’ Jack enquired politely.
Rosie shook her head. ‘Alas, we have to get back tonight. I’ve so much paperwork to catch up on before I’m in court later this week.’
‘That’s a shame.’ Jacob smiled politely. ‘Perhaps we’ll see you again.’
I couldn’t help myself and burst out laughing. ‘From the way you and Erin have been gawping at each other since you met, I should say it’s highly likely you’ll meet again.’
Erin’s cheeks flushed. ‘Lydia,’ she hissed. ‘Be quiet.’
‘Darling, love issh a wonderful thing,’ I slurred, the wine clearly having taken a slight hold.
‘I have to say I agree,’ Jack said, winking at me. ‘I think you two would make rather a lovely couple. Don’t they remind you of us when we were younger, Lyddie?’
‘Oh yessh.’ I nodded emphatically. ‘Only I think they’re probably even more smitten than we were.’
‘Stop it, both of you.’ Jacob glowered. ‘Erin and I are just friends.’
‘Exactly,’ Erin put in. ‘I’ve told you all I’m not ready for a relationship and I meant it.’
At that Rosie, Tom, Jack and I fell about laughing while poor Jacob and Erin looked at one another aghast. They looked so upset I almost felt sorry for them. Yet as their gaze fell upon each other once more, any sympathy I had vanished, and I exchanged a knowing look with Jack. Unlike us, these two had their entire future ahead of them.