posted by EditingEmma 08.34
Mum had already gone to work when I left this morning, but she left her book out on the table.
Revenge by Martina Cole.
Subtle.
If she really wanted revenge, she could just stop preparing food and giving me lunch money. I’d probably starve within a week. But I don’t want to give her any ideas.
posted by EditingEmma 13.54
Making New Friends Is Liberating
So, I’ve been trying to forget about it, but I’m still massively cringing about the whole Dev thing. Every time I close my eyes there he is in my imagination, licking his lips in a really weird way or putting a rose between his teeth or something. I still haven’t mentioned it to any of my friends.
Then earlier I was in the design room, still thinking about Dev and wondering about what his life is like. (I concluded, remembering the ‘YOLO’ hat, that probably the less I know the better.) Charlie walked in to put one of his finished shirts away. He must’ve noticed me wincing because he said, ‘Why do you look so horrified? Is it my shirt?’
‘Oh no, sorry, the shirt looks great! I was just, um, thinking about something.’
He sat down on the edge of my desk.
‘What on earth were you thinking about?’
I paused, wondering how much information to give.
‘A YOLO hat.’
He gut-laughed. ‘Worn ironically?’
‘No.’
‘That is a distressing thought.’ He nodded. ‘Anything else?’
I wasn’t sure we were good enough friends for this, yet… But I really wanted to talk about it with someone. So I told him. Afterwards, he paused for a moment, and said, ‘And?’
‘That’s it,’ I said.
‘That’s it? Oh Emma, so what?’
‘I just feel like my friends are moving on with their lives, and I’m reverting back to being a thirteen-year-old. Plus it’s so icky… Why can’t I control my horniness? I can’t believe I stooped so low.’
‘OK, first things first. Trust me, you’re not going to be turning to…Godlike Dev…for ever. Secondly, you seem like you’re doing all right with your life to me. Look at all this you’re doing!’
He gestured towards my outfits.
‘And thirdly, I’ve done so much worse than that in the name of my horn. Really, truly. Have you SEEN some of the messed-up shit that’s on the internet?’
I laughed.
‘Practically every time I have a wank I’m overcome with guilt. I want to unsee everything I just saw in the past five minutes and surround myself with fluffy white kittens and drink hot milk.’
‘Why hot milk?’
‘You try looking sexy drinking hot milk. It’s impossible. Natalie Portman herself couldn’t pull it off.’
I laughed. And everything felt a bit lighter.
‘Do you really only wank for five minutes at a time?’ I asked.
‘Yeah. Why? How long do you do it?’
I shook my head.
‘Oh, Charlie.’
Anyway, it hadn’t really crossed my mind to tell Charlie before…but I’m glad I did. I actually feel loads better. I think our fledgling friendship is becoming a…um…large bird?
posted by EditingEmma 18.17
I Am A Social Media Star
So, apart from having made a new friend, another silver lining to the big, dark, ugly cloud of fighting with Steph is that at least my Insta profile has gone WAY up in quality. I’m practically a professional now. It’s probably because normally, you go through the filters and they mostly look really similar and eventually you get bored and just pick one, but now I have aaaaaallll the time in the world to really think about it, and get it to fashion Instagram stardom level.
Evidence: Friendlessness is clearly the path to success.