posted by EditingEmma 09.40
I was just getting my bag off the rack and the handle got caught and I ended up spilling the entire contents all over the floor. Boring Susan went skidding on a sanitary towel, and Anna bent down to pick it up and hand it back to me.
‘Oh, so sweet!’ cooed Gracie, as she walked away.
‘What?’
‘You and Anna are like…friends now.’
I wrinkled my nose. ‘No, we’re not.’
‘But she smiled at you! You totally are.’
‘No, Gracie. This is not a Hollywood movie. Just because we both decided Leon’s not worth our time, I’m pretty sure we still have zero else in common.’
‘But wouldn’t it be so nice, to both get something out of your horrible break-ups? A new pal?’
‘Lots of things would be nice, Gracie, that will never, ever happen. Like Britney and Justin getting back together.’
She thought for a moment.
‘You’re probably right. Anna is way cooler than you.’
How Much Checking Social Media is ‘Normal’?
Was hanging out with Gracie when she started talking about how worried she was about becoming obsessed with her phone. She said, ‘Yeah, I think it’s becoming a real problem…like, I literally check my Instagram about…ten times a day.’
Ten times?!
TEN TIMES?!?!
She thinks that’s obsessive?!?! I literally checked mine ten times when I just went to the toilet!
Oh my God. If that’s obsessive, then what am I? Do I need to think about this? Or is Gracie the abnormal one here?
Yes, that’s probably it. Gracie’s definitely the weird one.
posted by EditingEmma 17.01
Reasons Why Leon Naylor Needs To Move
A lot this term, it’s felt like I can’t get away from Leon. But today…today was utterly ridiculous. It was like I was Road Runner and he was Coyote. Or maybe I was Coyote. Anyway, he was bloody EVERYWHERE.
1) He Was In The Design Room
Which is fine. I’m used to him hanging around there by now. But he was standing right by the pink thread I needed and I couldn’t go get it. And then I ended up using green and trying to convince myself the combo would look ‘zany’. I was doing a good job of believing it, until Charlie asked me why I was designing clothes for the Muppets.
Does he ever go to lessons? Why is he in the hallway so much?
3) He Got The Last Slice of Pizza
I wanted that pizza! As if it isn’t enough to ghost me, bench me and look completely adorable and achingly sexy whilst doing it (shut up shut up shut up brain) HE TOOK THE LAST PIECE OF HAM AND PINEAPPLE PIZZA. He knows how much I like ham and pineapple pizza!! And he was just ahead of me in the queue…How dare he eat it so brazenly, right in front of me!
4) He Was In My Head
That was the worst part. I tried to blame it on the pizza-thieving, but even I couldn’t kid myself I was thinking that hard about pizza.
No, I was thinking about the pizza-eater. (And a little bit about the pizza.)
It’s been getting steadily worse since the coat-sniffing relapse, but…agh…I hate how pathetic this is. But it’s got even worse since him and Anna broke up. I’m trying not to let him move back into my head…I really am…But somehow he just creeps in there.
This is one thing I definitely can’t talk to Charlie about.
I really want to talk to Steph.
Mum came creeping into my room.
‘Why are you in bed at nine thirty?’ she asked.
‘I’m tired,’ I lied.
‘Look,’ she said. ‘I know you’ve been upset, so…’
She paused and sighed.
‘What?’ I prodded.
‘You know that hotel commission I won.’
‘Yes?’
‘Well, as a thank you, they invited me for a free stay this weekend.’
My ears pricked up.
‘I was going to ask Graham, but…do you want to come?’ she asked, through gritted teeth.
‘Do I want to come?!’ I yelled. ‘Do I want to come and be pampered in an amazing hotel?!’
‘Well, do you?’
‘Uh. YES, Mum. I want to come.’
‘All right,’ she barked, pointing her toothbrush at me. ‘But I better be bloody relaxed when I get home, Emma. There will be no ruining of my relaxation, do you understand?’
‘Yes,’ I squeaked.
‘You will be quiet as a mouse, all weekend,’ she went on.
‘As a mute mouse,’ I said, nodding very fast.
‘As a dead mouse,’ she said, and retreated.
I’m officially going to a HOTEL! A fancy pants hotel, with massages and table linen and probably mattress toppers.
Emma Nash @Em_Nasher
Mmmm. Mattress toppers.