I don’t know what made Candace go off on Andrea. It’s true that Andrea plays by the rules, but it’s not like the rest of us are big lawbreakers or anything.
“What was that about?” Roemi asks Candace after Andrea leaves.
“I don’t want to fucking talk about it, okay?” she says. “I don’t even know where I am. Can you drive me to my grandmother’s house?” she asks me. “Please? One-five-five Highview Street.”
“If it’s okay with Roemi,” I tell her.
“Yeah, whatever,” he says. “We should go back to the Ledge first though. We need to get the ladder back. Also your backpack.”
“Shit!” says Candace. “I forgot all about my pack. It’s probably been stolen by now.”
“Doubt it,” says Roemi. “Andrea took great and delicate care in hiding it for you.” He tilts his head and stares at her, his eyes wide and innocent.
“What?” she snaps at him.
“Nothing,” he says. “Just thought you might like to know.”
“Can we just go?” she asks.
“Sure!” he says. He turns to me. “Isn’t this fun?”
Roemi’s parents’ garage is nicer than my parents’ living room. It has heated floors and shiny chrome overhead lights. It also has a gleaming new Land Cruiser and a goddamn Audi A4.
I walk slowly around the Audi, standing a few feet back so I don’t drool all over it.
“Roemi, this is an Audi A4.”
“Oh yeah? Is that good?”
“Uh, yeah,” I say. “This is a supernice car.”
“Huh. Yeah, my dad loves that car. I don’t like the color.” He grabs a set of keys from a hook on the wall, double-clicks them to unlock the Land Cruiser and tosses them at me. “I’m obviously shotgun,” he says to Candace.
Candace climbs into the backseat. “This is bigger than my bedroom,” she says. I stand at the SUV, my hand on the door handle, but I’m still staring back at the Audi. Roemi reaches over and opens the door from the inside.
“Come on, Paul! Let’s go, dude!” he says.
Reluctantly I get behind the wheel and slide the keys into the ignition. Roemi reaches over and presses the garage-door opener on my sun visor. The door slowly rolls up, and Roemi jacks the volume on the stereo. “Let’s roll, bitches,” he says.
The Cruiser is totally pimped out. Leather seats, wood veneer, a kickass stereo. But as sweet as this ride is, as we pull out of the garage I wonder if I’ll ever have the chance to drive anything half as nice as the Audi.
It doesn’t take long for Roemi and me to get the ladder and strap it to the roof rack. Roemi tells Candace where to find her pack, and she runs to the quarry to get it. She comes back just as I’m hooking the last bungee cord.
“I have an idea,” says Roemi. “We should cruise by the school and check out the last-minute rush into the dance. We’re pretty close. Let’s do a drive-by.”
I’m not sure I want to risk being seen by Lannie, but I can’t very well say no, since it’s his car.
Luckily, the crowd at the school is so involved with checking each other out that nobody takes a second glance at the Land Cruiser. I park across the street from the school and we watch through the tinted windows as girls run screaming to greet each other and smokers take their last drags before ditching their butts and walking onto the school property.
“Hey, Paul,” says Roemi. “There’s the old ball and chain.”
Sure enough, there’s Lannie, walking across the street in front of us, just a few car lengths away. I slouch down in my seat.
“Relax,” says Roemi. “Nobody can see us unless they get up really close to the window. She looks fierce.”
She really does look good, with her hair piled on top of her head and her dress hugging her body in all the right places. The funny thing is, I don’t have any interest in being out there, walking into the dance with her. I’m happier here, hidden behind the tinted windows.
“Okay,” says Roemi, “I still don’t really get this. So you and Lannie didn’t break up, right?”
“No,” I say.
“But you aren’t at prom with her, and she doesn’t know that you’re spending the night hanging with the Scooby-Doo crew?”
“No,” I say. “She thinks I’m sick.”
“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” he says, “but I’m going to give this one more shot. Now that we’re all besties, can you please just give us the Coles Notes version of The Case of Lannie Freston’s Missing Prom Date? The curiosity is killing me.”
I glance in the rearview and see Candace raise an eyebrow at me. Suddenly it all just seems stupid and pointless.
“Fuck it, whatever,” I say. “I had a panic attack, okay? I had a panic attack last week for the first time in years, and then this morning I had another one, and it was so bad that I couldn’t even think about going to the prom. So my mom called Lannie for me and told her I was sick, and that’s why I’m not at the prom tonight.”
“I’m not sure I understand,” says Roemi. “Why didn’t you tell Lannie? She’s your girlfriend, after all. Wouldn’t she understand?”
How can I explain that because Lannie is so in control, I’m terrified of letting her know I am so out of control? That if she finds out what’s wrong with me, she’ll see it as another challenge? She’ll try to fix me, make me better.
Maybe I should let her. She’s fixed everything else. My friends, my future, my grades, the way I look, the things I do in my spare time. Why shouldn’t I let her fix this?
“Maybe he’s not at the prom because he didn’t want to go in the first place,” Candace says quietly. I look at her in the rearview mirror again, and she shrugs and looks me straight in the eye as if to say, Isn’t it true?
“Whoa, check it out,” says Roemi, pointing past me. I turn to see Ryan Penner walking away from the crowd in the parking lot and up onto the street where we’re parked.
At first I think he might have spotted us. Then he reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out what looks like a baggie, and I realize he’s just sneaking away to smoke a joint before going inside.
Sure enough, we watch as he lights up and strolls directly toward the Cruiser. He stops with his back to my window and then begins to pace back and forth, furiously working through the joint.
“I don’t think he sees us,” I say quietly.
“This is like a horror movie,” says Roemi. “Don’t breathe or the homophobe will get us!”
“Who is that guy?” asks Candace.
“That’s Paul’s best friend,” says Roemi. I shoot him a dirty look.
Penner finishes the joint and crushes it out on the ground. Then he leans down to look in the window of the Cruiser, his face just inches from mine.
“Oh my god,” whispers Roemi. “I’m going to shit my pants!”
Penner brushes his fingers through his hair and straightens his tie. I slowly let out my breath. He’s just using the window as a mirror. But then he leans in really close, and I watch as recognition rolls across his face. He taps on the window.
Reluctantly, I roll it down.
“What the fuck, man?” he says. His eyes are bloodshot, and he’s obviously stoned and drunk. “Lannie told everyone your appendix burst and you’re in the hospital.”
“False alarm,” I tell him.
He pulls a flask from his jacket pocket and hands it through the window to me. He reeks of booze, and he’s swaying on his feet. “Want a drink?” he asks.
“Nah, man, I’m cool.”
“Suit yourself.” He takes a big swig and shoves it back into his jacket. “Who you rolling with anyway?” He bends down and sticks his face into the SUV.
“Hi, Penner!” says Roemi. He grins widely and gives a little wave.
“What the fuck?” says Penner, pulling his head back like he’s been burned. He looks at me with his mouth hanging open, and then he starts to laugh.
“Are you seriously telling me that you ditched out on Lannie fucking Freston to hang out with this queer?”
“No, man. It’s not like that,” I say, painfully aware of how weird the whole thing looks.
“I’d rather be gay than stupid and ugly, Penner!” yells Roemi.
The back door of the SUV swings open and Candace jumps out. She walks over and pokes Penner in the chest. “Who the hell are you?” she demands.
He staggers back, bewildered. “What the fuck is going on, Paul?” he asks me.
“Nothing man. We were just—”
“I asked you a question!” says Candace, getting right up in Penner’s face.
“Whoa, whoa,” he says, throwing up his hands and stepping back from her. “I’m not going to get into anything with some crazy emo bitch.”
“Emo?! Oh my god, who the hell is this guy?” she asks, turning to look at me.
“He’s just a friend.”
“Some friend,” she says.
“Penner, come on, man,” I say. “Why don’t you walk it off?”
“Man, what the hell is going on with you anyway?” he asks me. “Why are you out here with these losers instead of inside with Lannie fucking Freston? Have you lost your mind?”
“It’s not like that,” I say again. “I needed to borrow his truck to run an errand.”
“An errand?” He shakes his head as if he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “What-the-fuck-ever, York. This is some crazy shit, man.” He turns and staggers back toward the school. I figure it won’t be long before Lannie knows everything.
I lean back in my seat and close my eyes.
“Wow,” says Candace, still standing outside the vehicle. “Nice work standing up for Roemi, Paul.”
“What was I supposed to say?” I ask.
“I don’t know. How about ‘don’t talk shit about my friend Roemi’? Something like that?” she says.
“You don’t understand,” I say. “I can’t just get into it with him. Ryan’s a good friend of mine.”
“Oh, and I’m not?” says Roemi. “I see how it is. To hell with you.” He opens the door and swings his legs out of the Cruiser.
“Jesus, Roemi,” I say. “He was drunk. I was trying to keep it from turning into something big.”
“Yeah,” he says. “I should just let it slide off my back, right? Fags like me should keep our mouths shut and be happy we’re not getting beaten up, right?” He jumps out of the car and starts speed-walking down the street.
“Whoa, Roemi,” I yell after him. “What about the Land Cruiser?”
He stops in the middle of the road and looks back at me. “Just bring it back to my parents’ house and put the keys in the mailbox,” he yells before starting to run. He takes the corner and is gone. Candace stands next to the window, shaking her head at me.
“You know,” she says, “you almost had me fooled. I should have known you were just a poser.”
She reaches into the back of the SUV and pulls out her backpack. She slams the door and throws the pack over her shoulder. Then, without glancing back, she takes off down the street after Roemi.