Evan (11:35pm): U around?
Jackson (12:27am): Am now. What?
Evan (12:28am): Finishing up some shit. Fucking horny
Jackson (12:30am): Got 2 hands don’t u? Use 1 of them
Evan (12:32): Wanna C U
Jackson sighed as he stared down at the screen of his phone, trying to will himself to pull back. Whatever it was between them couldn’t become a nightly thing. He didn’t want to become wrapped up with a fucking Klown Killer or, really, any man at all. Men were supposed to be for fucking, not for anything else, but Jack could feel himself wanting more. He’d been dealing with massive amounts of bullshit all day, and he found all he had been able to focus on was the fact that he should have kissed his lover back when he pecked him good-bye the night before. He should have let him hold his goddamn hand. He should have allowed himself to get lost in the moment and let his desires lead his way.
It was too much, too soon. Evan had made Jackson realize that he could have feelings for a man in a way that didn’t just center around sex, which was disturbing, to say the least. He didn’t want to be like this, be gay or whatever. Enjoying getting fucked was one thing, but it was entirely different to want something more than that from a dude.
No matter how hard he tried to control his thoughts and emotions, it seemed his mind was intent on going on a journey to learn what it all meant.
He thought about what could happen if he denied Evan and played some sort of disingenuous game of hard to get, limiting himself when he would much rather indulge in the sexy Daywalker. Maybe Evan would hit up Humboldt to get off, fuck some other dude, and move on. A strange pang of jealousy made Jackson cringe. He didn’t want Evan with anyone else.
Jack wanted Evan to all to himself.
Amy was at Isaiah’s, so there was no reason, except fear, to tell Evan not to come over, and Jack was no quivering pussy.
Jackson (12:45am): All right. How soon til ur here?
Evan (12:45am): 10 mins. Don’t prep urself.
Jackson rolled his eyes and tossed his phone onto the bed next to him. He didn’t know what it was about Evan that made Jack feel the way he did, but simultaneously he loved and hated it. He thought of tons of reasons why wanting Evan like this was a bad idea, but not one seemed compelling enough to turn Jack away.
He steeled himself when he heard the knock on his door and made his way over to it, resolute in what he was going to do.
“Hey,” Evan greeted, walking into the apartment and regarding Jackson skeptically as he hung by the door. “What?” It looked as though the redhead’s hackles were rising, like he was becoming aware that he had walked into a potentially dangerous situation. He tensed as Jackson approached.
“Come here,” he urged, slipping his hand behind Evan’s ear to cradle the nape of his neck. Then Jack pulled him in for a kiss. From the moment their lips touched, lights exploded behind Jackson’s eyes. Evan sucked Jack’s tongue like he sucked dick. Hard and with purpose. And Jackson gave as good as he got, grabbing Evan around the waist and slamming him against Jack’s raging dick. Evan exhaled into him and Jackson swallowed the breath down, letting it swell in his lungs and consume him.
“What was that for?” Evan gasped once they pulled apart.
“Told you, you ask too many questions,” Jackson chided, rubbing his thumb against his bottom lip as he admired Evan’s.
“Wasn’t fucking complaining.” He regarded Jackson with a squint and a wry smile. “You’re hard to read, you know that?”
“Like you’re easy?” Jackson shot back with raised eyebrows.
Evan shrugged. “Never said I was.” He stared through him as if he wasn’t fazed in the least by the assertion. Like he’d heard shit like that his whole life, but had never found himself with someone who made him guess. “You’re defensive.”
“And you’re not?”
“Not really, no.” Evan shook his head.
“Got to be if you want to survive,” Jackson preached. “You should know that.”
“Guess I don’t care.”
“About surviving?” Jack couldn’t understand that shit. He regarded Evan and realized the redhead seemed different than he had the other times Jack been around him, more flat and apathetic.
“Yeah.” Evan nodded. “I do, so I don’t really think about it.”
Jackson wondered who had fucked Evan up so bad, and examined why Jack felt compelled to look out for him. “Can tell you’re new to the street.” Jackson gestured for Evan to follow him the few feet over to the kitchen.
“Wrong. Grew up on the street,” he stated with a tsk. “I’ve been on my own since I was seventeen and before that…” He trailed off, as if his life story wasn’t worth telling.
Jackson studied Evan for a moment to see if he was going to add anything else, and when he didn’t, Jack clarified, “New to the gang then.” He opened the refrigerator. “They catch you slipping once and there won’t be a twice. Want a beer?”
“Thanks.” Evan stretched out his arm to take the beer. Before he could pull back, Jackson grabbed his wrist and Evan narrowed his eyes. “What?”
“Guess I know what you were up to tonight,” Jackson stated, noticing the maroon paint on Evan’s fingers. He pulled his arm back then made his way over to the couch. “They got you tagging?”
“Among other things,” Evan replied, as Jackson sat down on the couch next to him. “Who’s asking a lot of questions now?”
Jackson gave him the middle finger. “Can’t stand the color.” He really couldn’t. For as long as he could remember, maroon and blue were synonymous with fucking bottom feeders. There were many gangs on the South Side and most of them didn’t really get under Jack’s skin, but the KKz did. They were always trailing behind Dem Demonz trying to take things that they’d established and make them their own. The Klowns didn’t put in the work, and Jackson couldn’t fucking stand leeches. It was hard to think of Evan like that, mostly because Jack didn’t fucking want to.
“Don’t think it looks good on me?” Evan asked with a fake pout. “I’m hurt, man.”
“Fuck off,” Jackson laughed. “Shit fucking bothers me.”
“Not usually this sloppy.” Evan took a swig of his beer and wiggled his fingers. “I was distracted all night.”
“Oh yeah?” Jackson licked his lips and smirked when he caught the look in Evan’s eyes, and was able to see the smile behind them. “Why?”
“You know why,” Evan gruffed, scooting closer so their thighs touched. “Want me to say it?”
“Don’t give a shit.” Jackson shrugged while nudging the side of his nose with the pad of his finger. He turned away, but smiled when he saw Evan’s face moving closer in his peripheral vision.
“Was thinking about you,” Evan muttered as he reached down to place his beer on the floor then began to pepper Jack’s neck with kisses. “Can’t get you off my mind.”
“That right?” Jack asked in between letting out a soft moan when Evan straddled his legs and began licking and sucking the sensitive skin below his ear more ardently. “You’re going to mark me up,” he accused between his purrs.
“That a problem?” Evan questioned, his voice muffled as he continued to distribute hickey bites.
Jackson thought about it for a moment as best he could with a hot man Hoovering the life out of his neck. It’d probably be good if the boys saw he was hooking up with someone. It’d be normal to get out and fuck around after being tied down to one woman for so long.
He wasn’t sure if it was a rationalization or not, but he figured he would go with it regardless. “Not at all,” he hummed, leaning his head back to give Evan better access. Jackson slid his hands under the waistband of Evan’s jeans and grabbed a firm hold on his ass as the redhead rolled his hips. “I think about you, too,” Jack admitted quietly, gratified he could feel Evan’s smile against his skin. Jack tilted his chin down to urge Evan up and they began to make out eagerly.
As their tongues intertwined, Jackson removed his hands from Evan’s ass and made sure their fingers laced together. Evan squeezed Jack’s hand gently and licked his lips before sucking on his tongue like a boss.
“I want you to,” Evan whispered against Jackson’s mouth, his warm breath fanning over Jack’s face.
“Want me to what?” he questioned, nibbling on the redhead’s bottom lip, remembering it was only a few days ago when he’d busted it on the basketball court. So much had changed in such a short period of time, and it made his head spin.
Two weeks ago, he never would have imagined that he’d be making out with some dude on the couch in the living room that he once shared with Tamara. He’d lived a dangerous life for most of his twenty-three years, but had never felt so alive as when he was in Evan’s arms.
“Think of me,” Evan whispered, pulling back far enough so Jack could look in his eyes. “I want you to.” Evan searched Jackson’s face, clearly looking for a positive response. It was crazy how different Evan looked when he was this close; the freckles brushed across his skin, making him appear innocent and pliant, when Jackson knew he was anything but.
“Good,” was the only reply he could muster, wanting to say a million more things but not allowing himself to go there, realizing that as treacherous as an aloof Evan was, an earnest Evan was far more perilous. The more the redhead softened, the quicker Jack felt himself falling, and he knew the end result could be catastrophic.
Still, the way that Evan was holding Jackson’s hands, as if he would float away, proved that he wasn’t the only one with his head stuck firmly in the clouds. Evan was a dream that could easily become a nightmare, and as vigilant as he wanted to remain, Jackson wasn’t afraid to close his eyes.