CHAPTER twenty-two

 

Gideon

He missed those brown eyes so freaking much. Mac radiated a need that emboldened Gideon, made him stand up straight and puff out his chest. It wasn’t until he looked away from Mac and saw people staring at them that he realized how gay he was being in public. A man and woman across the plot shook their heads and grimaced. It was Mac’s parents. He just had that feeling. He could sense the disappointment coming off them in waves.

As soon as the funeral ended, Mac pulled Gideon away from the cemetery. They said no goodbyes, and nobody came up to say goodbye to them. Gideon hailed a cab and took them back to his hotel in downtown Pittsburgh.

Mac sat in the desk chair in his hotel room, glassy-eyed. He looked like he just came from battle. Gideon rubbed his shoulders.

“How did you…”

“Delia told me. Then I called around to funeral homes in the area, found a last-minute hotel, and booked a bus here.”

“You did all that?”

“I want to be here for you.” He spun Mac around to face him. Gideon’s stomach did a somersault when those brown eyes were on him. “I missed you so much. I’m sorry for pushing you away. I feel like I’ve been pushing my whole life. Pushing to be somebody I’m not. Pushing anyone away that could expose who I really am.”

When Gideon had left Mac’s apartment, things started to become clear. He let himself see who he really was and think what he really wanted to think.

“Do you know what would go through my mind when I dated and hooked up with girls?” He squatted down to get eye level.

Mac cocked an eyebrow, afraid to hear the answer.

“I would say ‘Good job’ to myself. I would tell myself I was doing the right thing.” Gideon shook his head. Always the good son. It was so fucked up. “I spent so much time trying to convince myself that I didn’t want the things I wanted.”

Mac placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “You’re not the first gay guy to feel this. You are gay, right? This is you coming out?”

Gideon nodded, silently grateful that Mac took those words out of his mouth for him. He still felt a ripple of shame when he heard them. He wasn’t ready for the world’s reaction.

“What was going through your mind on the night we first met?” Mac asked him.

“I thought I was lucky that I got to meet a cool guy on my first day at school.”

“And when I kissed you?”

The memory was still vivid in his mind. “I freaked the hell out. It all happened so fast. It was like going from having secret, fleeting thoughts about skydiving to being thrown out of an airplane.” Mac chuckled at the analogy. It was better than geology class. “I panicked.”

“I’ve never been that forward,” Mac said.

But now it was Gideon’s turn to be forward. He brushed his lips against Mac’s, breathing in his warm taste, realizing just how much he missed it now that he had it back. He planted tender kisses along Mac’s freshly shaved cheeks.

“What if I told you that I really liked you?”

“Then strap me into a parachute because I am ready to skydive.” Mac pulled Gideon against him, the kisses turning passionate and hungry.

Their lips were magnets to each other. Mac dug his fingers into Gideon’s unruly hair and pulled him closer. It was different from the times in their apartment. For the first time, they could kiss each other without any pretenses, their true selves laid bare.

Gideon hugged Mac into his chest. They couldn’t kiss each other fast or hard enough. Mac shoved his hands up Gideon’s shirt. His fingers prickled against the hairs on his chest and stomach.

Gideon pulled away mid-kiss. He felt an intensity shaking his core. He needed this. He led Mac to the bed. They took off their suit jackets.

“Are you sure?” Mac asked.

“You tell me.” Gideon opened the nightstand drawer and pulled out the bottle of Astroglide. “I figured if all went well today, we’d get to use it. And if you had rejected me earlier, I would’ve come back here and used it on myself.”

Mac laughed. Gideon wanted to make him laugh and smile, especially today. This kid had been through so much. Gideon wanted to make him feel good.

For weeks, Gideon was a house where the lights were shut off. He tried turning the circuit breakers, but they didn’t do a thing. Kissing Mac, feeling that hard body against his made Gideon the brightest house on the block.

Those ferocious lips brought him back to life, and Gideon wanted all of him. Mac lay across the bed, his muscular frame sprawled out on the comforter. Gideon’s lips moved from his mouth and slid down his neck. Mac shivered at his touch. He groped Mac’s cock through his pants. His hands hovered over a Hanukkah gift all wrapped, waiting for him to tear it open.

He looked up at Mac as his mouth moved further south. Mac’s eyes asked if he was okay. Hell yes.

He unbuttoned and unzipped Mac’s pants. There’s a dick in my face, Gideon thought. A big one. He wondered what others would think. He closed his eyes and forced all of those thoughts out of his mind. They were other people’s words, other people’s beliefs. He focused on what he truly wanted.

“What’s wrong?” Mac asked.

“Nothing.” Gideon’s lips curled into a smile. There’s a dick in my face.

He let Mac enter his mouth, as much as he could. He relaxed his jaw, and Gideon took in the sweaty taste of him. He focused on the now. No analysis. No neurosis. He had one of those rare experiences of living in the moment. He slapped the hard dick against his tongue. Mac groaned in delight. Gideon would never get tired of that sound, especially knowing that he was the cause.

Gideon moaned as the hot, throbbing cock filled up his mouth. Mac grabbed the headboard to steady himself. He lifted his hips, sending his cock further inside Gideon’s mouth. Gideon rubbed himself over his pants. A rogue finger of his found its way to Mac’s ass. He pushed it in. Mac gasped like no one was listening.

He pulled out his finger and tried to stand up, but Mac yanked him into a kiss that dared to suck his lips off. His tongue tasted the insides of Gideon’s mouth. Their warm bodies locked each other in a tight embrace. Mac’s erection branded Gideon’s leg.

“Get on your back,” Mac commanded. His heavy-lidded eyes conveyed such force and lust that Gideon would’ve walked to China if Mac told him to.

Mac whipped his shirt off. His pecs and biceps bulged as he undid Gideon’s pants and threw them on the floor. The cold hotel room air hit his bare legs and ass, but the heat coming off Mac made for a potent shield. Mac slapped his ass. Gideon spread his legs further.

The anticipation sent him spiraling. He felt a finger circling his ass. Now he was the one getting impaled by the dildo in his fantasy. Except this wasn’t a dream, and it was going to be much better than a yellow sex toy.

“Yes, baby. Yes.” Gideon slammed his head against the mattress. Mac pressed in further. It was ten times better than what Gideon did to himself in the shower. He hated that he’d passed this up, any of it.

Mac licked his aching hole. As much as Gideon enjoyed rimming Mac, he had to say that receiving was overtaking giving at a fast clip. Gideon dug his fingers into the sheets. He was on horniness overload. He had to stroke his dick. It couldn’t be ignored. He needed to get out the urge boiling over inside him.

Gideon jerked himself off while Mac ate him out. The bottom half of his body was a roller coaster zooming around loops at full speed. Mac shoved two fingers inside him. Gideon cried out and stifled his voice against his forearm.

“Don’t do that,” Mac said. “Don’t cover it up. I want to hear you. Every sound.”

He followed Mac’s order. He’d never let anyone call the shots like this. He didn’t have to think. He just had to react. With his free hand, Mac massaged Gideon’s balls.

“Yes!” Gideon yelled out, damned if any other hotel guests heard him. His words had to wait for breath that wasn’t coming fast enough. Mac removed his fingers, and instantly Gideon was dying of want. His cock had never gotten this hard in his hand.

“Want to…kiss you,” Gideon said, his body feeling a million amazing things at once. Mac’s imposing frame leaned over him. He tasted all of himself on those lips.

“How far do you want to go?” Mac asked.

“All the way, baby.” They gazed deep into each other’s eyes. Gideon saw past the sexy haze that clouded Mac’s vision, into his heart. Gideon had a place there. He kissed Mac softly, a brief respite in the passion.

Mac slapped his ass hard. He pictured the mark of Mac’s hand, branding him like property. Gideon was nervous, but he rode it. When he had to make sharp turns in his car, he put his foot on the gas and went faster.

“Do you have a condom?” Mac asked.

“No. Is it okay if we try without? I haven’t been with anyone since Beth over the summer. Have you?”

“Not since Davis, in the summer.”

“Not Rafe?”

Mac crossed his arms and arched his eyebrow. “Not Hannah?”

They both shook their heads no.

Mac prepared Gideon with lube, which was cold compared to everything else that had been down there.

“Is it going to hurt?” It was finally happening, the final frontier. No turning back.

“Yes, but hopefully the good feelings will outweigh the bad.” Mac rolled on the condom.

Gideon didn’t know if he was talking about sex or life in general. But he trusted Mac.

“If it hurts too much, let me know, and I’ll stop.”

He sucked in a breath when he felt the tip of Mac brush against his opening.

“You okay?”

“Do it, baby,” Gideon said.

“You’ve been calling me baby a lot.” Mac kissed Gideon’s neck.

“I know.”

Mac eased himself inside his ass. Gideon mashed his lips shut and grunted. Mac kissed his shoulder in support. He kept going.

Gideon felt whole, but uneasy. It was a new sensation his body was trying to process. He didn’t stop Mac. He pulled out slowly, then slid back in.

Don’t think. Just feel.

Oh that Gideon. He has a dick in his ass. The whispers! Gideon focused all his mental power on blocking them out. He stared up at Mac, sweat dripping down his cheeks. Their feelings were stronger than stupid gossip.

Stay in the moment.

“Stay with me.” Mac cupped Gideon’s chin and directed him to look into Mac’s eyes.

That shut up every whisper.

Gideon’s grunting turned to moaning. His mind was dizzy with the thickness filling him up. There was dick inside me. Just thinking about it drove him wild. The more wrong it sounded, the more right it felt, like all of life’s best things.

The added pressure made his own cock harder. Mac ran his fingers through Gideon’s hair. His breath danced on his neck. Gideon was taken over by Mac. His dick rubbed against Mac’s tight stomach.

Golden rays of setting sun spliced through the blinds, giving them a magic glow. Mac pumped into Gideon’s ass with passion and strength. His hands traveled up Gideon’s sweaty chest and flicked his nipples.

And then that intense feeling Mac had told him about in their apartment, the feeling of knowing you’re about to come while getting fucked, overtook Gideon. His whole body shook with anticipation as it built and built. His body tried to clench, but couldn’t because of Mac’s cock. He was powerless against his orgasm ravaging through him. Fucking powerless. It was wonderful. Mac fucked him harder, grunting into his ear. Gideon’s body was defenseless. He surrendered to the moment. His legs were about to give out. Every muscle in him spasmed. Mac held him tighter, sensing he was close.

“You’re gonna come for me?”

“Baby, I am.”

Mac slammed into him in deep thrusts. Gideon’s body shook like it was getting electrocuted. He was going to yell so loud that everyone in the hotel would hear them. But Gideon still had some modesty. He bit into his arm as he shot hot white streaks against his stomach. He thought he might have lost consciousness for a few seconds.

“Holy shit,” he whispered.

“Intense, right?”

“Holy shit.” It would take him a few moments to regain speech and motor functions.

Mac fucked him in speedy hits as he raced to orgasm. He doubled over as he came inside Gideon. When he was finished, he collapsed onto the bed.

“So how was it?” Mac asked with a curious smile. He kissed Gideon’s shoulder and rubbed his chest.

Words and Gideon were not on the same wavelength. He was still catching his breath.

“Gideon?”

His mind was mush with afterglow, but he managed to say something.

“I’m gay. I’m really, really gay.”