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AS THE FIRST WEDNESDAY in March rolled in, nothing much had changed. Lunch with her cousins may have enlightened her about her family, but it hadn’t done anything to clarify her love life. She wanted to fix things with Robert or at least try. She just didn’t know how to go about it. He could be so obstinate. When she thought back to their confrontation in his office, it was like she hadn’t known the man in front of her. Had they been at a strong enough place in their budding relationship to overcome this? She had decided she wanted to try, but did he?
Now to make matters worse, Robert’s sister had emailed wanting to meet for lunch. Why she had agreed was the real question. Probably because she liked Brihanna, and felt they shouldn’t be deprived of getting to know each other. Had he even told any of his family they were dating? She had no clue, and that was a problem in itself. Up until recently their relationship had been so casual, they had barely gotten serious before this stupid fight.
Mika supposed it didn’t matter if Brihanna knew about them or not, seeing as technically they were over. She looked at her wall clock and saw it was ten minutes to noon. They were supposed to be meeting in the lobby soon. Imagine her disbelief as she watched a co-worker bring a grimacing Brihanna to her office.
Brihanna thanked the woman for her help, before walking in and shutting the door. Mika took note that she was in a pair of faded jeans. The bottom of a blue plaid shirt showed from under her short leather coat, which was trimmed at the neck and wrists with black fur. Mika liked that she pulled it all together with some heeled ankle boots that were also fur lined. The only other color Brihanna had on was some blue stud earrings which were only visible because she had her long hair pulled into a ponytail.
“I thought we were meeting downstairs.”
“Yeah.” Brihanna dropped down in a chair. “About that, I figured I’d save some time and just come up here. Hopefully this won’t take up much time for either of us.”
Mika sighed, it looked like her March was going to be just as confrontational as her February. “Say what you got to say.”
Brihanna narrowed her eyes leaning forward, before flopping back. “What did you do to my brother?” Brihanna said sullenly.
“How do you know your brother didn’t do something to me?”
“Okay, fair point. What happened?”
“You should ask your brother,” Mika deflected. “I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t want me telling his business.”
“I did ask. He’s been in such a foul mood for the last few weeks, snapping my head off left and right. I asked if something happened between you two and he told me to ‘mind my own damn business’, then basically threw me out his house.”
Shocked Mika asked the younger woman, “You know about us?”
Brihanna rolled her eyes. “Don’t be naive. I grilled him a couple of days after Thanksgiving and found out you guys were hooking-up. He even told me you entered a more real relationship at the start of the year.”
Mika’s eyebrows rose. “He said we were in a real relationship?”
“Of course he didn’t use those words.” Brihanna rolled her eyes in the other direction. “He said you guys were officially dating instead of merely doing the bump and grind.”
“He did not say that to you!” Mika laughed despite the situation.
Brihanna let a small smile curve her lips. “Okay, I added that last part.” Losing her smile as quickly as it had come she suddenly popped up and started pacing the office. “What happened? He’s been super happy since January. In general he’s been more laid back ever since you started bumping nasties way back when—though I guess anyone getting sex on the regular would be.”
Mika waved her hand to stop the other woman's rambling. “Please sit down. You making my head hurt between your pacing and talking a million miles an hour.”
Mika watched as Brihanna suddenly stopped, dropping back down as if her strings had been cut. The girl looked so dejected that it made Mika feel worse. “Look, I just don’t feel right talking to you about this if he won’t.”
Brihanna waved her hand dismissively. “Come on you know men. They clam up when they get hurt, and I think he’s really hurting right now. Look whatever he did, unless it was cheating which I don’t think he’d do. My brother is brutally honest. He would just break up with you before banging someone else.”
“Anyone ever tell you that you have a way with words when it comes to describing sex?”
“I was raised with boys so I’m a little blunt and crass. It drives my mother and aunt crazy.” Brihanna smirked before frowning. “I was saying unless it was really bad you should give him another chance. I think he really likes you. I’ve never seen him like this...well not since he was a teenager. Men are stupid and stubborn. Maybe if you went to him...reached out first.”
“I did.” Mika was suddenly tired. “I apologized for my part of it, but he wasn't trying to hear it. When that didn’t work I went to him in person...tried to talk. The only thing that accomplished was us having a bigger and nastier fight.”
Mika voice cracked on the next words. “I don’t know what else to do! Your brother can be cold as ice. Sometimes...I don't even know if I want to be with someone capable of acting that way.”
Brihanna sighed. “He’s only like that when he feels threatened. I swear he’s really a teddy bear. He’s the best brother I could ever ask for, he practically raised me. It’s because of him we’re all stable and thriving. He takes care of everyone emotionally too. Like a mother hen making sure all his little “chicks” are in place and where they should be. We’re five years apart but we’re super close if you couldn’t tell.”
Mika cracked a smile, rapidly blinking to keep her eyes from leaking. “Yeah, I got a clue when you walked in here to confront me.”
“I’m not sorry I did. My brother has taken care of me my whole life. I know firsthand how much love he has to give. When he accepts someone into his circle he protects them, cares for them.” Brihanna shrugged. “But he’s also slow to trust, slow to open up. He reacts badly when he’s hurt or deeply disappointed. I was so excited he’d found a woman who shook him up a bit. That he actually seemed to like, you know on a deeper level.”
“It’s sweet that you care so much. I just don’t know what to tell you. I don’t know if we can fix it.” Mika bit her lip but said it anyway, “I’ll admit, I want to give it a try. It’s just...we can both be a little closed-off. It takes two people to want to make up.”
“I know. He’s used to being a ‘when he’s done, he’s done’ type person.”
“So am I,” Mika said. “Ironic huh?”
“Well this time I don’t think he can be. He normally just moves on. Right now he’s mopey, moody and restless, all at the same time. You got under his skin.”
Brihanna stood up and pulled her gloves out of her pockets. “I’ll push him some more on being less pigheaded, if you’ll hang in there a little bit longer until he comes to his senses. Do we have a deal?”
Brihanna held out her hand and after a moment of hesitation, Mika stood up and shook it. “You have a deal.”
“Good! I think you’ll both regret it if you don’t give this another shot. You seem just as miserable as he is.”
“Well that’s comforting,” Mika mumbled sarcastically as she went and opened the door.
“It should be. It means you both care about the other. Thanks for the time. I really hope I’ll be seeing you around.”
Mika watched as Brihanna took quick, confident strides down the hall towards the elevators. While Robert was high-class business fashion, his sister was more casual with a chic punk lean to her style. Still, the two had a lot in common. Both had no regrets when they took bold or impulsive actions. And they both seemed to like making deals as well. She liked Brihanna, and hoped she would get to know the woman better.
* * *
ROBERT WAS PISSED AT himself for still being in a funk over that woman. He couldn’t bring himself to think of her directly. To many memories assaulted him and made it all worse. Even the best liquor in his house couldn’t quiet his mind when it came to her. Though he made sure not to hit the bottle too hard, he needed to be clear-headed. He’d already made a number of bad decisions, starting from when he’d gone to her house way back in October. He’d known then she would be trouble, following his dick instead of his head, now look at him.
While he wasn’t snapping at anyone at work, they were avoiding him like the angry black man he currently was. He didn’t speak unless he had to, and when he did his communication was short and curt. Antonio had been the only one with enough balls to ask him if he was okay. He’d replied with the universal statement that all men around the world understood, “Women, who needs them right?” His friend had looked at him in barely concealed pity, readily agreeing before taking him out for a lunchtime drink.
Outside of work was a different story, no one was safe. He’d been avoiding his mother for a good two weeks. She had that mother’s intuition when things were going south. He couldn’t stand to be around his cousins for long either. Even Cam had tried to talk to him twice about the situation and promptly got checked to stay out of it. The man had eased off in the last week, maybe he’d realized there was nothing to talk about when it came to Mika.
Dealing with Brihanna was a whole other matter. His sister was a bit too much like him sometimes, and she wasn’t afraid of pushing him like everyone else was. She and Mika had that in common. Brihanna usually dropped by once a week or called, and he’d been lashing out at her since this whole thing started. Three days ago, when she'd brought him some take-out he tried brushing off her company.
When she had connected his bad mood to Mika he’d lost his shit. He’d told her to get the hell out if she couldn’t stay out of his business and respect his privacy. The look of shock and hurt on her face had made him feel like crap. Before he could work his mouth around to apologizing, she had packed up the food and left. Shouting that he would end up a shriveled, old lonely man if he kept pushing people away.
Was he doing that? Pushing people away? Probably. Just like he was brutally honest with others, he tried to be just as honest with himself. He knew he was acting like a wounded animal that wanted to hide in a cave until it was healed. He admitted—at least to himself that he was hurting. More than he thought was possible for a woman he’d only known for roughly six months.
She had struck a hard blow to his ego, and more importantly to his honor. The latter was something that was dear to him going back to his childhood. He had grown up quick after his father left his mother with a newborn. At five his carefree childhood had changed, as he tried his best to help his stressed out mother and comfort a fussy baby. Being so young himself he couldn't help much, but he’d fetched bags, bottles, diapers, or sung to entertain Brihanna.
What he had been able to do was change his behavior. Almost overnight he’d become a quiet watchful child. A little boy’s natural wildness, tempered by his natural empathy for the two women in his life. By the time he was eight his mother was working two jobs and he learned to cook. Simple things like sandwiches, oatmeal, spaghetti, and a number of other easy dishes. His mother was often tired but she spent what little time she had left helping him with homework, filling in the educational gaps of the Detroit public school system. She was a big part of why he’d taken education so seriously and why he’d gotten several scholarships. Those had allowed him to go to the expensive University of Michigan.
Of course his mom had help from Aunt Dolores. Robert spent half his time at her house when he was young, surrounded by his cousins. It was there he could relax, let go and just be a kid. He loved spending time at Aunt D’s house, horsing around with Devon and Darrell, the three of them following behind Thomas and Edward. While the two older boys alternately ignored them or got them in trouble with their schemes.
When he turned twelve his mom allowed them to stay home by themselves more often. Some years she had three jobs, picking up part-time holiday work. All to keep a roof over their heads, clothes on their backs, and food in their mouths. He’d decided then that he wanted a stable life when he was an adult. Excitement wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. He preferred having money so he wouldn’t have to cry and pray about how to pay the bills like his mother had.
That sparked his interest to learn everything about money he could. How to get it, how to keep it, and all the ways to make it. He’d wanted to be able to take care of his mother and aunt as soon as he could. Even before he attended college he was great at saving and had started some tentative investments with the help of a teacher. By the time he had reached his sophomore year in college he was passing on his knowledge to the rest of his immediate family. He taught them how to budget better and save. How to do more long-term planning and invest.
He’d helped guide his older cousins to maximize the incomes they had to sustain their growing households. Since he and Thomas were the oldest they were seen as the “rocks” of both families. Well on the male side at least. His mother and Aunt Dolores were the true foundations, and always would be. Their strength of raising six kids on the west side of Detroit, all of which had survived the streets to become productive citizens, deserved that crown.
His family looked to him as a fixer of any problems that arose. It was in his DNA to take care of those he cared about. So it had felt like a stab to the chest, when Mika thought he hadn’t protected her. That he’d purposely cosign her to the uncertainty of being a single mother. The salt in his wound was when she accused him of lying on top of everything else.
As if he would ever downplay something as serious as a child? Did she think he would deny his own kid? He would have taken care of his child and been in their life if a pregnancy had resulted. Did she think so little of him? These types of thoughts rotated through his mind and infuriated him. Her actions told him she didn’t trust him enough...he was not his father! He wouldn’t run when shit got real and responsibility came knocking on his door. He hadn’t at five years old, and he wouldn’t at thirty-two.
His upbringing was the reason he was always hesitant to commit to any woman. When you made promises there was the potential of breaking them. He had dreaded when mama got her hopes up, only to be disappointed again. He never wanted to see the disappointment and hope drain out his own kid’s eyes, as it had for him and Brihanna. His father's blood ran in his veins and he worried about those traits coming to the forefront. He refused to be a lazy coward, wasting his potential or talent. Letting down the people who needed and loved him the most. As an adult he kept his circle small. It was probably best Mika was no longer in it.
Robert shook off all his depressing thoughts, rising to go fix himself another drink. It was Thursday night, one more day left to get through the work week. He’d been bringing more and more work home so his mind didn’t conjure up a curly-haired diva with a mischievous smile. Thinking of mischievous women he needed to make up with his sister too. There had been silence from her end which was unusual as Brihanna didn’t know how to take no for an answer or tolerate losing any better than he did.
He picked up his phone intending to give her a call while it was on his mind, and saw a text he’d missed.
Mama: I’m going to call you in a few minutes and you’re going to pick up that phone Robert Lorde. Don't make me call twice!
Robert grimaced. His mother rarely texted him, preferring the old school method of talking on the phone. When his phone rang less than a minute later he picked it up even though it was the last thing he wanted to do right now.
“Hey, Mama. Is everything okay?”
“Does something have to be wrong for a mother to talk to her only son?”
“I guess not, since we’re talking,” he said with dry amusement.
“Don’t get smart with me. I’m not in the mood for it after you've been dodging me for weeks. What’s going on with you? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine Ma. You know you don’t have to worry about me.”
“Son, I’m your mother. I’ll always worry about you. Now please tell me what’s going on...talk to me.”
After a long pause he decided he might as well. They’d always been open and honest with each other. Their family unit of three had always been that way. They were all they had. Trust, communication, and working together had been essential to survive. He gave her a quick rundown of his and Mika’s relationship, such as it was. Then he shared everything that had happened over Valentine’s Day weekend. When he was finished, his mother didn’t say anything for a while, just a couple of “hmm’s”, as was her habit when she was thinking.
“I’m sorry to hear this happened. She seemed like a lovely woman actually. I liked her spirit. Are you sure you can’t work this out? She did apologize for overreacting and handling the situation poorly.”
“Handling the situation poorly is an understatement. Mama she basically accused me of purposely forgetting the condom, which I didn’t at all. Didn’t believe me either when I told her I’d worn one! Like I was some trifling-ass man who didn’t give a damn about her or myself. She didn’t trust me to protect her!”
“Son a woman wants to believe in a man...but the reality is we never know.” Johanna sighed heavily. “The consequences for us can be severe. You think I thought your daddy was gon up and leave me with two kids? And we were married! I chose him thinking he was ready for marriage, for kids. He damn sure was there when we were making them.”
Johanna paused to let that sink in. “I know it’s not fair but try to look at it from her view. Ya’ll are barely dating, just a few months ago at Thanksgiving you were calling her a friend when you clearly were more. She freaked out, and I can’t say I blame her. But if she apologized and realized her mistake...well just think about it. Try not to let your hard head lead you away from your heart.”
“My heart has nothing to do with it. It’s about who I am as a man. She clearly doesn’t know me or respect me.”
“Oh Robert, you’re still lying to yourself. Your heart has everything to do with it. I know it can hurt to put yourself out there. But you taught us all that without any risk, there can be no reward.”
