Lennox was there when Mariela was released from the hospital a few days later. She frowned when she saw him.
“I thought Fulton and Andie were coming,” she said.
“Change of plans.”
The look she gave him suggested she thought there was more to it than that. “I would have thought Andie would have called me in that case.”
He shrugged. He sure as hell wasn’t going to mention that he’d told Fulton to forbid Andie from calling Marie. Lennox feared that if Andie had told her he was picking her up, Marie would have found some excuse not to be released. She’d never said it in so many words, but he couldn’t help but think she’d blame him for the accident. It was for the best she didn’t know that he had manipulated things in order to be the one who took her home. Whether she liked him or not had no bearing on the fact that he was the reason she was in the shape she was in.
“I’ll get you to the island and get you settled.” He didn’t want to bring up how they needed to talk about her rehabilitation. There was time for that conversation later, after she rested.
He found, once they got in the car and headed out on the highway, that he wasn’t sure what to talk about. Small talk seemed too light. Silence would be preferable. Anything heavy he didn’t feel ready to discuss with her. He wasn’t going to talk about them, the crazy wonderful night at the cottage, or her future at the academy.
He decided he might try his hand at gossip. There were rumors floating around the school about Master Nader and his supposed new girlfriend. Marie would want to know. But when he glanced to his side, he discovered she was snoring softly.
He couldn’t help but smile at the sight. She was such a firecracker. He needed to remember that no matter what front she put on, she’d been in the hospital and needed to take it easy.
Unbidden, the scene came back to him.
“But we’re going slow and easy this time.”
“Blah. I’ve never been a fan of slow and easy. I think I’ll go back to sleep.”
“Roll back over and I promise you’ll never say ‘blah’ to slow and easy again.”
Forget that. He wasn’t going to mention any kind of easy anytime soon.
She was still sleeping when they made it to the docks. If it hadn’t been for how sheepish she looked when he woke her, he would have thought she did it on purpose.
“Sorry I’m such rotten company.” She yawned. “Who would have thought sitting in a wheelchair would be so tiring?”
Once they were on the boat, she stayed inside while he piloted them to the island. He’d asked that no one be at the docks when they pulled up. Marie only liked to be the center of attention while doing a scene. Outside of that, she preferred to disappear into the crowds.
So unlike Winnie. He’d found himself comparing them more and more lately. Since they were so close, some might have assumed them to be similar in many ways. But what struck him lately was how different they were.
Although he’d never admit it, the comparison started with sex. Marie had been free in her submission—she owned her submissive nature, and she made no excuses for it. Winnie, after the first few years anyway, saw it as degrading and said it made her feel weak. She didn’t understand that hearing that made him feel weak, too.
Because what kind of Dominant makes his submissive feel worse?
“Thank goodness there’s no one here,” Marie said, when they arrived at the empty dock. “I was so afraid everyone was going to be out to greet us.”
Thank goodness, he’d finally gotten something right. About damn time. “By order of the headmaster,” he said. “I know you well enough to know you only want to be the center of attention when you’re naked.”
She laughed and he smiled. He didn’t think he’d heard her laugh the entire time she was in the hospital. Maybe being back on the island would be good for her and allow her jovial personality to come back.
“God, that sounds awful, doesn’t it?” she asked, still giggling. “But how very, very true.”
He helped her out of the boat and into the waiting golf cart. But if he thought the return to the island would lighten her mood, he was wrong. She grew more and more somber the closer they got to her residence. By the time they arrived at her door, she was completely pale.
“Marie?” he asked.
“I can’t do this,” she said, and for the first time since he’d known her, she looked scared.
“Can’t do what?”
“Any of it. I can’t be here like this. I can’t teach. And . . .”
“Marie?”
She looked down at her hands in her lap. “I can’t be here with you and act like that night never happened.”
That was the crux of it. The lack of mobility and the teaching were ancillary. It was the fact that they’d dropped all their boundaries and had sex. Though even he knew it went much deeper than mere sex. Somewhere deep inside, he’d known that night if he didn’t stop and send her back to the island before things progressed any further that they would end up like this.
As many times as he’d told himself it was only one night, that one night didn’t mean anything and nothing had changed, he had known. Deep down, he’d known that he’d never be satisfied with only one night with Marie. It meant a hell of a lot, and it’d changed everything.
But now, sitting outside her place in a golf cart, on the day she got released from the hospital, was not the time to have the needed conversation.
He took her hand and she looked at him in surprise. “I know we need to talk, but I think we both can agree that now is not the best time. You’ve gone through a very rough ordeal and you have a hard road ahead of you. Let’s take it one step at a time.”
He hated to admit it, but that was probably the most honest he’d been with her and it shamed him to no end. Somehow, she must have heard and understood the truth in what he said because she simply nodded.
He gave her hand a squeeze before letting it go. “Thank you. I think the one step we’ll do today is get you settled. How does that sound?”
A single tear ran down her cheek. “Like a really, really good idea.”
He wiped away the tear. “Two reallys? Are pigs flying?”
“Get me inside before your ego blows up anymore,” she said, and he was glad to hear a hint of laughter in her voice.
He pushed her inside to where Andie and Fulton waited. Andie had volunteered to stay with Marie while she settled into a routine. She’d told Lennox at the hospital that she’d helped care for her grandmother while she was in high school. Marie had balked at first, but eventually agreed. Lennox had wanted to be the one to stay with her, but he knew she’d never allow that.
It was probably for the best. At least until they were able to discuss what had happened and how they were going to move forward.
• • •
TWO WEEKS AFTER her release from the hospital, Marie was going batshit crazy. She was able to get around her apartment with crutches. Andie came by every afternoon to see her if she hadn’t already stopped by the main building. Even Lennox dropped in a time or two, but his visits were awkward and tension filled.
Her problem was she didn’t have enough to do. Lennox sent over paperwork she could work on, but those tasks were mainly administrative and she finished them quickly. She had already taken care of everything she could do for the Holiday Ball, and she was seriously thinking about taking up knitting or something. Absolutely anything to keep herself occupied.
Lennox came by the Sunday afternoon she was going through her books, trying to find one she hadn’t read three times already and kicking herself for not placing her online order sooner.
“You know,” he said from the doorway. “They do have electronic e-readers now, or you can download a book straight to your phone. Wonderful thing, technology.”
She glared at him. “I know that. I just don’t want to read an electronic book. I like the feel of paper on my fingers, the smell of a book.”
“Just saying, you could get so many more if you’d—”
“Succumb to the dark side?”
He eyed the pile of books. “It’d be easier to carry, too.”
She sighed. “Why are you here, Lennox?”
“And a good day to you, as well.”
Damn it, why did he have to be in a good mood? Why couldn’t he be pissy and dour like he’d always been in the past?
“Look, I’m glad everything is great and wonderful in Lennox land, but here in my reality, I’m losing my mind.”
He nodded and that’s when it hit her that he was up to something. He had that look in his eyes. God help her.
“I’ve been thinking about that because I know the last few weeks have been rough on you.” He motioned her into the kitchen. “Let’s go sit and talk.”
“I’m tired of sitting,” she said under her breath and, if he heard, he didn’t give any indication of it.
He sat down and looked at her with such excitement for whatever his plan was, she sincerely hoped she liked it. Looks such as the one he wore now were rare and she’d hate to disappoint him.
“You remember the plans I had made for the cottage?” he asked.
“Yes.”
“I’ve decided to move forward with the renovations.”
She couldn’t help it, she smiled. The changes he’d proposed for the cottage were wonderful and she was so happy he was moving forward with them. More importantly, she knew Winnie would have loved them.
“That’s great,” she said. “I think your idea is absolutely perfect for the cottage.”
“I’m glad to hear you say that, because I actually would like for you to be involved.”
She nodded. “Oh, sure. Anything you need, just let me know. I have tons of time.”
He winced at that. She felt a little bad, simply because she knew he already blamed himself for the accident and now he’d probably feel like it was his duty to keep her occupied.
“This should definitely keep you busy,” he said.
“Do tell.”
“I’d like for you to be in charge of the renovations. I can’t take care of everything that needs to be done and run the academy, too.” His eyes pleaded with her. “And truthfully, I don’t trust anyone else to oversee this other than you. Because you loved her, too.”
She couldn’t speak for several seconds. He wanted her to be in charge?
“Are you sure you want me?” she asked.
“Yes, like I said, I trust you and you were like a sister to her. You knew her better than anyone and I don’t want the cottage merely renovated, I want it to have her touch. Only you can do that. Probably better than I can.”
“Can I stay here or do I have to move to the mainland?”
“You can work from here. No need to move off the island.”
“Okay. I’ll do it.”
Just saying the words made her feel better. She had a purpose again; she felt better than she had since before the accident.
WINNIE’S JOURNAL
What do you do when your entire relationship is built on a lie? I don’t know. I’m not who he thinks I am and I’m reminded of that every time I look in the mirror. Hell, every time I look at him.
He doesn’t know. It’s so strange to me that he wouldn’t know. He for damn sure knows everything else. It baffles me how he doesn’t know this one thing that’s the most fundamental and important of all things. How is it he knows what I’m thinking, but he doesn’t know who I really am?