| |
Danika
Seeing Chance Carter in front of me, on his knees, was a sight to behold. This guy was something else. And my heart ached for him after I’d heard what he’d gone through last summer. No wonder he’d been so twisted up about telling me or not. Everything that I’d assumed about why he hadn’t was wrong. I’d been so far off-base.
“Thank you for telling me all that.” I pulled my hand from his and ran it down the side of his face, the stubble on his cheek prickling my fingers but I welcomed it. I’d never been able to touch him like this before. I wanted more of him. Hell, I wanted all of him.
“Danika,” he breathed out before grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me to him.
Our lips crashed against each other’s, our mouths opening before his tongue found mine, and I swore I moaned, my body radiating with desire. Chance continued kissing me, his fingers splayed at the back of my head, and it felt like I was drowning in lust. The feel of his lips and the taste of his tongue sent me reeling.
“I’ve wanted this for so long,” his breath was hot against me, his tongue swiping across my bottom lip before he nibbled at it, and the room spun.
People talked about chemistry and fireworks and that kind of stuff all the time, but I’d never believed in it before this moment. My skin felt like it was alive, tingling with awareness wherever he touched me. And that kiss ... that was the kind of kiss that set rooms on fire; it was so electric.
Pulling away, I palmed his cheeks with my hands, trying to steady my breath as I looked into his green eyes. They were so beautiful, so alive with passion, and it was all for me. That knowledge alone was more than exhilarating.
“I want this. I want you. But I want to clear the air about everything before we cross that line,” I said, and he bit down on his lip, his head cocking to one side as he stared at my lips. He was lost in them, as I was in his eyes. “Chance? Did you hear me?” I asked with a grin.
“I heard you,” he said before hopping up on the bed and sitting next to me. “Here, let’s move back.” He scooted to the wall, propping up pillows for us to lean against. “But I have to say something first.” He wiped the corners of his mouth. “That was one hell of a first kiss.”
“There are no words,” I said in agreement, and his solo dimple appeared. “And put that dimple away,” I teased, and it only deepened.
“This dimple?” He poked his finger there.
“Yes, that dimple.” I leaned toward him and pressed my lips there, my eyes closing with the contact.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish, Danika,” he said in a whisper, sounding out of control, and I loved the thrill that rushed through me.
“Oh, I can finish it all right,” I whispered against his ear before biting it gently and sucking it into my mouth. “And I plan to,” I added, and his whole body tensed under my touch. Glancing down, I noticed the bulge coming from his shorts, and I resisted the urge to reach out and wrap my fingers around it.
“You’re testing my self-control. I have very little when it comes to you as it is, but you’re pushing it right now.” His chest rose up and down as his breathing escalated, and I knew that he had seen me looking.
“Maybe I should go get us some water.” I started to move, and he reached for my wrist and held me firm.
“Don’t you dare leave this bed,” he growled, and I knew I’d never been more turned on before in my life. “Whatever we need to talk about, let’s get it over with. Quickly.”
I broke all contact and scooted away from his heat. I couldn’t concentrate with Chance touching me or being that close. I was trying to start our relationship off on the right foot, but he made the idea of talking seem extremely overrated. Who wanted to talk with words when we could be talking with our bodies?
Shaking my head, I tried to focus. “I know you have questions about me and Jared.”
His expression soured for a second. “I did an hour ago. Now, I just want to know what you look like naked. The sounds you make when you come. The way your body moves when I’m inside you. And how you taste when I’m eating you.”
“Jesus, Chance,” I breathed out, resisting the urge to reach down and touch myself at his dirty mouth.
“Sorry. I was not thinking about Jared right now.”
His admission broke the trance, reminding me how important it was that we discuss this and get it all out in the open so that nothing lingered between us.
“I know, and I promise this will be the one and only time he’s in the bedroom with us,” I said before wincing because that sentence was awful. “Where should I start?”
Chance blew out a long, cleansing breath. I could tell he was trying to refocus and calm himself down. He needed the blood to flow from his pants back up to his brain even though I liked it where it was.
He cleared his throat and said, “I guess at the beginning. When did you guys break up?”
“About a week after you and I went to The Bar,” I said and watched as Chance looked a little shocked.
“Seriously? That long ago? Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I know,” I began to explain as I searched for the words. “I just wanted to make sure that the breakup would stick,” I said before shaking my head. “No, that doesn’t sound right. That isn’t what I mean. I just wanted to make sure that I was doing the right thing.”
“You could have told me.” He looked so disappointed and sad. “All this time, I thought you two were still together. I figured that’s why you stayed away from me.”
“I know that it might not make sense from your perspective, but after I ended things with Jared, I needed the time to figure out my heart. I wanted clarification. I couldn’t do that if I jumped straight from him to you.”
Chance nodded. “That makes sense. I hate it, but it makes sense.”
I smiled softly before continuing, “I wanted to tell you. So many times, I wanted to tell you, but then the semester was ending, and I was going home. And I didn’t want to start something when I was leaving for New York.”
“Danika, I would have started something with you if you were going to the moon. I just want to be with you.” Chance’s voice was so honest and vulnerable that it took everything in me not to crawl into his lap and kiss him again.
“I want to be with you too,” I admitted, and he reached out, his hand gripping one of mine.
“How did Jared take you breaking up with him? He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy to just let you go without a fight,” he asked like there was something he wasn’t saying.
“He was surprisingly okay with it at the time. At least, that’s how he acted. Like he had known it was coming. Like he’d half-expected it. I don’t know. I’d thought he’d be pissed, but it seemed like he couldn’t have cared less,” I said, remembering that the biggest fight he’d put up about our breakup was just the other day. “He didn’t act that way in New York though.”
Chance removed his hand from mine as he sat up a little straighter. “What do you mean?”
“He came to my house, unannounced, and basically said he’d given me enough time.”
“Enough time for what?”
“To come to my senses,” I said, hopefully sounding as disgusted as Jared’s words had made me feel.
“What’d you say?”
“I told him that I still meant what I’d said and that I didn’t want to be with him.”
“Is that true? You don’t have any lingering feelings for him? You guys were together a long time. I’m sure it’s not that easy,” Chance asked, and I understood why he did. They were the same questions I’d asked myself over and over again.
It had honestly caught me off-guard, the way I felt after the breakup. Part of what had kept me holding on for so long was the fear that I might be making a mistake or that maybe this was just a phase our relationship was going through and it wouldn’t always be this way. Jared had been by my side for so many years, and I was used to him being there, felt like I owed him loyalty. What if I ended things and regretted it? That question had haunted me.
“I don’t regret breaking up with him. I’d thought I might before I actually did it, but once I did, I felt relieved. I don’t want him back. And it’s extremely fucked up, but I don’t even miss him,” I added because it was the truth.
“You’re sure?”
“I’ve never been surer about anything.” I wanted Chance to know that there was no competition here and that Jared was not a threat to our future.
The second he had walked out of my apartment, I felt the weight of the world lift off my shoulders. My soul felt free and happy. The earth felt like she had opened all of her doors for me to do and be anything I wanted. I had known then that I’d made the right decision even if it had taken me way too long to make it. Better late than never.
“I can’t be a rebound, Danika. Not with you. This can’t be something you want to do to get it out of your system, and then you’ll go back to him after.”
Has he even been listening? I wondered before realizing something. “Are you feeling vulnerable right now?”
“I think so.” His eyes narrowed, and his expression shifted.
This was all new to him, and labeling his emotions wasn’t something he’d ever had to do before.
“It’s kind of sexy.”
“It doesn’t feel very sexy.” He shook his head, disagreeing with me, but he was wrong.
He looked so incredibly hot, sitting there with his heart in his hands, basically asking me not to break it without saying those exact words. I knew I needed to reassure him more, to let him know that I wanted to do this with him and only him.
“You could never be a fling. And this is not a rebound. Jared and I have been over for a long time, and we both knew it.”
“Then, why’d you stay?”
“Because it’s easy to stay when you’re comfortable and it’s familiar.”
“So then, why’d you break up with him?”
That was the question I’d been waiting for. “There were a lot of reasons. We stopped being good together. We fought all the time. That was all we seemed to do anymore.”
“Yeah, I saw some of that.”
“But I mostly broke up with him because I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” I said before adding, “But I didn’t tell Jared that part.”
I watched as Chance swallowed hard, his throat bobbing with the action. “Well, he obviously knows about me.”
“And he assumes you had something to do with it. But I waited. I didn’t jump from him to you. I took my time,” I said, trying to rationalize my decisions even though I knew I didn’t need to.
“You took too damn long,” Chance growled, his confidence back. “And I don’t care what Jared thinks. Or says. You did the right thing by anyone’s standards. And Jesus, Danika, I don’t give a fuck. I just want you.”
“I want you too.”
“It’s about damn time,” he said before moving quicker than I’d anticipated. His hands were suddenly on my back, pulling me lower on the bed as he hovered over me, his muscles flexing, hair flopping over his green eyes.
“Don’t stop,” I pleaded because I’d waited too long for this moment, fantasized about what it would be like to touch him and have him touch me. I’d dreamed about it for months, even when I had no business doing it.
“I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you.” He leaned down to kiss me, taking my mouth like he owned it. And he did. He always had, even when it didn’t belong to him. “But there’s no way I can have you once and never have you again.”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I licked my lips, hoping to tease him.
“This. Sex. Us,” he said, still hovering over me, those broad shoulders just begging to be bit. “I want all of you. And not just for tonight.”
“What do you need from me, Chance?” I asked, forcing him to say the words out loud. “Tell me what you need.”
“I need us to be together. I need this to be real.” He wagged a finger between our two bodies. “I need you to be mine. My girlfriend.”
“Then, ask me.” I couldn’t stop grinning because I wanted this too.
“You want me to ask you?” He leaned back on his heels, taking his gorgeous body away from mine.
“Uh-huh,” I all but mumbled around my smile, missing his nearness.
“No,” he said, his face serious, and I got nervous. “If we do this, we’re together. We’re not seeing other people. We’re not casually dating. We’re not friends with benefits. We’re a couple. You’re my girl. And I’m your guy. Any questions?”
“Just one,” I breathed out, so turned on that I could barely stand it. “Why aren’t you inside me yet?”
