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Danika
My heart ached with each step I took away from Chance’s truck and toward my apartment. I hadn’t felt anywhere close to this level of hurt when Jared and I broke up. I had felt relieved. But right now, the last thing I felt was an ounce of relief even though I knew that what Chance and I were doing was an incredibly mature and smart thing to do. I’d felt so grown-up that we were able to talk about things calmly instead of fighting over them the way I used to do with Jared.
I understood why Chance felt the way that he did and why he was concerned even if my heart hated it. It made sense to me, and even though it sucked that he could be so logical when it came to his emotions, I realized that I was trying to be logical too. Being a girl, I wanted Chance’s feelings for me to override every other thought in his head. But I knew that even if they did, he’d never admit it. Not while he was asking this of me.
What I hadn’t told Chance was that I was determined to figure out a solution for us. When he’d mentioned ending things, my heart had felt like it had cracked in two as I struggled to catch my breath. Every time he encouraged me to think about my future, I saw him standing there with me. There wasn’t one time when I pictured my life later on and he wasn’t included in it. As shocking as that had initially been to me, it was also extremely telling. I knew what I needed to do; I just wasn’t sure how.
Pulling open my front door, I stepped inside. The smell of chocolate chip cookies instantly hit my nose, and I swore I started to drool.
“Cookies?” I asked out loud, and Sunny peeked around the cabinets with a grin.
She looked all around me, clearly assuming that Chance would be with me, like usual. “I thought he’d want some sweets since he had such a bad game, but he’s not with you?” she asked, sounding utterly confused.
“No. He went home.” I rounded the corner and stood in the kitchen, watching her.
“Oh. I didn’t peg Chance for one of those guys,” she said, scooping out more batter and setting it onto the pan.
“One of what kind of guys?”
“The kind of baseball player who got super pissed after a bad game and wanted to be alone to sulk in his misery instead of carrying on with his life,” she stated like she was some sort of expert on athletes.
I decided to be frank. “He tried to break up with me,” I said the words super fast, unable to hold them in a second longer.
The spoon clanged against the countertop as it dropped, and I stared, watching it bounce and twirl before falling to the floor with an even louder sound.
“Because of his game? Whoa, he’s really over the top.” She bent down to pick up the spoon, tossing it into the sink before pulling open the drawer and grabbing a clean one.
“It wasn’t because of the game. He saw Jared this morning.”
Sunny snarled, “So what? Who cares?”
“Jared said some things, and they didn’t sit well with Chance,” I tried to explain before wondering if I was oversharing things that should have stayed between him and me. But Sunny was my best friend, and girls needed to talk about things with each other. It was how we survived.
She popped out her hip—her annoyed stance. “What kind of things?”
“He told him that I’d give up my future for him. And shit like that. He made Chance worry.”
Sunny focused back on the tray, filling the last empty space with dough. “Chance is a good guy.”
“I know. He basically laid out what life would be like for me if we stayed together. He told me to take some time and think if it was the kind of life I wanted or not.” I hopped up onto the counter and reached for one of the already-baked cookies on a plate. I wasn’t sure why, but I half-expected Sunny to swat my hand or something, so I was relieved when she didn’t. When I took a bite, the chocolate dripped out and hit me on the chin. I wiped it away. “These are so good. Why are your cookies always so delicious?”
“It’s the sea salt,” she said with a shrug as she put the last batch into the oven. “You know this already. I tell you this everytime.”
“The sea salt,” I parroted like it was new information even though it wasn’t.
“I sprinkle sea salt chunks on top of the dough before I cook it. It changes everything,” she explained, and suddenly, I couldn’t taste anything other than the salty flavor combined with the sweet dark chocolate. “That’s why I tell you to do it too. But you never listen.”
“I’ll start listening. I promise,” I said, taking another bite. “You should sell these.”
“Maybe someday. Anyway, what kind of life? What did he mean?”
I chewed first, savoring every bite before swallowing. “He meant if we stayed together when he got drafted. He explained what being with a professional baseball player would mean for me.”
Her mouth pursed, making her lips look huge. “That’s actually kind of nice. And you’d never thought about it before?”
“Not like that. Not the way he explained it,” I said, feeling a little naive.
“I’ve heard it’s not easy. I have a couple of friends who are with professional football players. The perks are great, but the rest of it takes a toll.”
“Yeah. Chance was very realistic about it all. Did you know his dad had cheated on his mom?” I asked, just remembering that he had mentioned that.
She shot me a weird look. “Everyone knows the story of Jack and Cassie Carter.”
“I don’t.”
“Maybe I should rephrase,” she said. “Everyone who’s from this area knows their story. You can look online. I’m pretty sure it’s all on there. I think there might even be a book about it.”
As much as I wanted to satisfy my growing curiosity, I decided against it at the moment. I knew that I was only distracting myself from what I really needed to do. “What do your friends say?” I asked, and she looked confused. “The ones dating the football players. What do they say about it?”
“Oh. They say that the females are one thing, but the grueling schedule and the fact that it has to be their number one priority is another.” Sunny offered me a shrug, like, What did they expect?
The buzzer dinged, and she reached for an oven mitt.
“Could you do it?”
She glanced at me while she pulled out the baking sheet and shut the oven door. “Could I do what? Date an athlete?”
“Yeah. Seriously. Do you think you could do it?” I had never even considered or thought about this kind of thing before tonight. I’d stupidly assumed that anyone could date a ball player, but I was starting to realize that maybe that wasn’t the case at all. It seemed like it would take a certain kind of girl to handle the pressure and stress that went along with it.
“I mean, you know how much I love the players at this school.” She winked, and I laughed, thinking about her and Mac. “But I don’t know. I want to say yes, but I’m kind of insecure and jealous. I think the other girls alone might drive me insane. I’m not sure I could handle it.”
I swallowed and blew out a long, slow breath as I thought about myself and Chance. Other females wanted him, and they made that fact known, but I’d never really paid them much attention. And I knew that was because Chance didn’t either. No matter what any other girl said or did, he couldn’t care less, and it made me react in the same manner. I couldn’t even think of a time when some other girl had caused chaos between us.
“I think it would depend on the guy,” Sunny said, breaking my train of thought as she hopped up onto the counter across from me, a cookie in her hand.
“Huh?”
“About the girls and my jealousy. I think it would depend on the guy. Like Mac, for example. I’d be going out of my mind anytime I couldn’t reach him on the phone or if he was out of town for away games. I wouldn’t want to live like that day in and day out. Always wondering. Always worried. Always insecure,” she elaborated as she took a bite.
“I wouldn’t either,” I agreed because if Chance had made me feel that way when we were together, I wouldn’t have entertained being with him in the first place.
“So, what are you going to do?”
That was the million-dollar question. “I don’t know yet.”
“Are you going to talk to Jared about what he said to Chance?”
It was funny how little Jared’s opinion seemed to matter to me anymore. When we’d first started dating, I couldn’t have imagined not caring about what he thought. But I wasn’t that girl anymore. I felt more like my own person than I had in years.
“Honestly? I don’t want to give him the satisfaction.” I knew that if I reached out, Jared would pat himself on the back after realizing that he had come between me and Chance. “I don’t want him to think he has that kind of power over my relationship. Or me,” I added before pushing off the counter.
Sunny’s face turned serious, and it looked so odd to see her so expressionless when she always seemed to be smiling. “He hit on me once,” she spat out, and my jaw dropped, her eyes focusing on her hands in her lap.
“What? When?” I asked as I took a step toward her.
Months ago, I would have been furious, hearing this. But now, I just felt shocked more than anything else.
She looked up at me, concern written all over her face. “It was last year. Around the football-player incident. He tried to kiss me one night while you were in your room,” she said.
All the pieces started clicking together. The way Sunny had stopped liking me and Jared being together, calling us names, and encouraging me to break up with him. And how her face always soured whenever I brought him up. Or how she’d disappear into her room on the rare occasion that he actually came over. Which, now that I thought about it, he had stopped coming over here, always insisting that I go to the frat house instead for whatever reason.
“Are you mad at me? I’m sorry I never told you. I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me. You two had so much history, and you’re from the same place. And I didn’t want to be the reason you broke up.” She was babbling, but it didn’t stop. “I don’t know ... it was a crappy position for me to be in, but I should have said something.”
I reached for her hands and held them. “I should have known.” I glanced up at the ceiling before focusing back at my best friend. “You changed around him, and he stopped wanting to come over here. I should have put two and two together, but it never occurred to me.”
“Why would it?”
“I’m sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me,” I said because I understood that she must have felt so shitty this whole time, keeping this information from me. It must have been eating her up inside. “Chance has never hit on you, right?” I asked with a small chuckle, and her smile returned.
“No way. He’d never do that.”
“You’ll tell me if he does?” I asked.
“Promise,” she said, pulling her hands from mine and extending her pinkie.
I wrapped my pinkie around hers, and we shook, the pinkie promise made even though I hoped we’d never have to use it.
