Contents

Author’s Note

Ultima Thule

Fate 1: Clotho

spins the thread of life

The Eternal Reign of Miss Route 17

13 Ways of Surviving New Jersey

Miss Route 17 Refuses to Grow Old

The Three Fates: How Much Is the Moon Worth?

The Remarkable Death-Defying Exploits of Miss Route 17

Until My Number Comes Up

Requiem for a Qwertyist

My Death in the Family

The Three Fates: Drawing the Shades

A Member of the Wedding

Fate 2: Lachesis

measures the thread of life to determine how long you live

The Sick Hypochondriac

The Three Fates: On Tedium

The Safe Side

My Life as a Thanatologist

The Janet Leigh Variations

The Summer of Hate and Death

Here Be Human Dragons

Miss Route 17’s Near-Death Experience under the Boardwalk at the New Jersey Shore

Sigilisms of Miss Route 17’s Many Hidden Talents

Death Comes for the Poet

Flirting with the Butcher

The Three Fates and the Barefoot Angels

Fate 3: Atropos

cuts the thread of life with a pair of shears to decide how someone dies

At the Terminal Gate

Miss Route 17’s Own Graceland

Memorabilia: My Guardian Devils and the Phantom of the Opera Gloves

The Three Fates: When You Go

Of Chrysanthemums, Tupperware, Cremated Remains, and FedEx-ing to the Great Beyond

Miss Route 17’s Blue Period

The Three Fates: Filling in the Blanks

On the Reliance of Verbs to Survive Death

The Queen of Panmnesia

Acknowledgments

Notes