“Why are you looking at me like that?” I asked Scott, referring to the knowing expression plastered on his face as he poured me a large glass of rosé. It had been a week since we’d visited Starlight, and we hadn’t had much time to talk. Keeping up with university life was intense, especially when I technically hadn’t even taken my A-levels and we were weeks into a term I knew nothing about. Considering I couldn’t tell anyone about my situation, I had no choice but to continue blagging my way through blindly, although I did manage to answer correctly when called upon in my nineteenth-century American literature seminar, which delighted me to no end.
If I were honest with myself, I’d admit to using my studies as a poor attempt to distract myself from thinking about Jack. Ever since this life began, I thought that if I found him, everything would fall into place. Instead he thought I was a lunatic and dismissed me.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. The whole thing was a lot to swallow. Still, Jack and his crew were used to weird. Part of me believed my connection with Jack was strong enough to transcend a time loop or whatever this was. He still told me he loved me every night in my dreams, and I found myself more eager for bedtime than ever.
Getting a degree wasn’t something you could do with your eyes closed. People joke about how easy student life is, but truthfully it was bloody hard work. However messed up I was emotionally, I had been given a life, and I didn’t want to crash and burn. I had to throw everything I had into studying just to stay afloat. After a tough week, Friday night had finally arrived, and Scott and I were at his flat waiting for Amy and Tasha’s arrival.
“Because everything makes perfect sense now,” Scott said, settling himself on the sofa next to me.
“What makes sense?”
“You. The reason you dumped Dane and have been acting so weird.”
Taking a sip of wine, I arched an eyebrow at him.
“It’s because you’ve taken a fancy to the tall, dark Australian.”
“No,” I scoffed, sounding pretty unconvincing even to my own ears. “And I didn’t dump Dane. I ended an unhealthy hookup that should have finished back in school. And I’m not interested in anyone else right now. I’m just focused on my studies.”
Scott chuckled. “Don’t be coy, Eliza. You can admit it. Who can blame you? He’s a sizzler.”
“A sizzler?”
“You know, hot.”
“Yeah, I get it, it’s just weird.” We broke into a fit of giggles. When we eventually sobered, I sighed. “Fine. I do like him.”
I wasn’t sure how much of the conversation Scott had heard at Starlight. I needn’t have worried though, because he had assumed they were students I knew. Best keep it simple and not confess to being head-over-heels in love with him. Not during the first glass of wine, anyway.
“He’s smart, and he makes me laugh. He’s so stubborn and rude, but also sweet and protective. And obviously gorgeous.” I slumped back against the sofa. “I thought he liked me, but he doesn’t feel the same way. How could he?” When he doesn’t even remember me?
Scott put a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, what are you talking about? Any guy would be lucky to have you even look in their direction. He asked for your name. Give him time. Before you know it, he’ll be begging you to go out with him.” He slung his arm around me, and I snuggled into his side. “We both deserve guys who treat us like royalty. For what it’s worth, I think you did the right thing calling it quits with Dane—for the both of you. He knows it too, deep down. If he’s being an arse, it’s just his pride. He’ll get over it.”
I raised my glass, and he clinked it. “Thanks. Here’s to open hearts and finding love.” We clinked again, and I lay my head back down on his shoulder.
“Speaking of open hearts, I have a confession,” Scott said. I lifted my head.
“You’re seeing someone, aren’t you?” He gave a sheepish smile. I shifted forward. “What? No way! Who?”
“His name is Jared—”
“The guy from self-defence class?” He nodded and held up his hand when I started squealing. “Don’t get carried away. It’s very early days. We’ve only had a couple of dates, and we’ve barely kissed.”
“But so far?”
“So far he’s been Mr. Wonderful.”
I beamed at him. This was great news. He deserved to meet an amazing boy.
“Here’s to you and Mr. Wonderful and plenty more kisses in your future.” I lifted my glass again, and Scott clinked it with a massive grin.
My phone bleeped with a message from Amy.
We’re here!
Scott buzzed them up, then went to answer the door. In this reality, Scott’s parents hadn’t moved to Cyprus but had remained in the UK and opened a hugely successful nationwide chain of Meze restaurants called Hanson’s. Scott’s flat was near the bus stop into the village, and we planned to have dinner in our local Hanson’s and then on to drinks and dancing.
Butterflies danced in the pit of my stomach as I heard their voices rise up the stairs. I got to my feet, and there they were. My two best friends.
Amy’s hair was cut in a sharp bob, unlike the grown-out postapocalypse style she’d had the last time I’d seen her, whereas Tasha’s hair was longer than I remembered, with a cute wave that looked like she’d just stepped off an LA beach rather than a three-hour car journey. The mere sight of her—here, alive—took my breath away. Before I could rein myself in, I burst into tears.
“Eliza?” Tasha asked, her brow crinkled with concern.
“I’m sorry, I’m just so happy to see you. I missed you,” I sputtered. They had to think I’d lost my mind. What else was new?
“We missed you too, silly.” She gave me a hug. “Now stop the waterworks. You’re ruining your lovely make-up.”
Scott appeared with a bottle of champagne. The cork popped and bounced off the ceiling. We all screamed until it turned into laughter. Scott handed out the glasses, and the drinks flowed. Although I still had to be careful not to put my foot in it, for once the conversation was easy. We no longer saw each other every day, which allowed me to ask questions without seeming odd.
Tasha told us about her fashion course and all the celebrities she’d seen when she’d worked as an assistant for a designer at London Fashion Week. She glowed with excitement as she spoke, and my tears came back at how proud I was of her. Just seeing her was enough, but to hear how well she was doing was the icing on the cake.
Next, Amy filled us in on her BS in psychology at the University of Edinburgh and how she was planning a semester in Spain next year. I watched her as she talked. She was just like my old friend before everything went sideways. I laughed and smiled in the right places and tried to enjoy my friends.
But as much as I wanted to, I couldn’t relax. Seeing Amy unnerved me. How could I truly trust her after what she had done? Knowing she was capable of such betrayal broke my heart. Amy had hurt me in the worst possible way. Even before the alien stuff, our relationship had been on the brink of collapse. How had things gone so wrong? Sitting with her and Tasha, gossiping about life, took me back to how we used to be, back when she was my best friend. This Amy might be innocent so far, but could she turn on me just as my Amy had?
“So what is the situation with you and Dane?” Amy asked.
Tasha wrinkled her nose. “Are you serious about him? Don’t you want to see what—or should I say who else life has to offer?”
“Actually, Dane and I have cooled things off.”
“As in?” Tasha asked.
“As in we’re not seeing each other anymore.”
I watched Amy closely for her reaction. Last time I had been too wrapped up with Jack and alien drama to realise anything was going on between the two of them until they were already together. All I saw in her hazel eyes was sympathy.
“Oh my God! Spill now,” Tasha ordered.
* * *
By the time we finished dinner, I had unwound and was having fun. If I was going to get on here, I couldn’t hold people accountable for things they hadn’t even done. This Amy was the sweet, loving girl I’d grown up with, the same one I had begun to think I had merely imagined when I was at Coldbridge. It was almost as if I had separated her into two different people in my mind. During dinner I had decided to put everything to one side and judge this Amy on her present actions, which was a good decision. I felt like the old Eliza again. My sides hurt from laughing so hard, and I was happy for the first time in a very long time. Of course, that could also be due to all the wine I’d drunk. I didn’t like living without the power of Conscientia, but at least I was living. I would figure everything out another day. Tonight I wanted to have fun with my friends.
We found a little bar down the street with a DJ and lively atmosphere. Cocktails flowed, and before long we were up and dancing.
When we took a break, I rested my head on Scott’s shoulder.
“I wish you hadn’t gone to Cyprus,” I murmured.
Scott frowned. “Huh?”
“Nothing,” I said with a silly grin. I’d definitely had enough to drink. Next thing I would be telling them I had come from a parallel universe. I giggled to myself. Yep, time for some water.
After I bought a bottle of water from the bar, I passed the entrance to the garden and decided I needed some fresh air to clear my head. I welcomed the cold chill as I stepped out onto the patio. Drawing in a long breath, I filled my lungs, then exhaled slowly. Already feeling steadier, I took a swig of water. I thought I saw something move in the shadows. When Jack materialised in front of me, I choked on my water.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said, with the tiniest hint of a grin.
I wiped my mouth and attempted to regain my composure. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“I came to find you.”
“You did?” My heart fluttered in my chest like a bird. My imagination instantly ran wild.
“Freddie persuaded me. We need to find out more about what you told us the other night,” he said, dousing my daydreams with a bucket of cold water.
I straightened up. “Right. What do you want to know?”
He gestured to an empty bench, and I followed him over on wobbly legs. It’s Jack, I told myself. Somehow that made things worse. As we sat down, I caught a whiff of his summer-rain scent and almost lost my balance. I plopped onto the bench and tried to act like someone who had it together.
“Where do you want me to start?”
“At the beginning.”
I glanced around. Apart from a couple of smokers huddled together on the opposite side of the garden, we were alone. The only sound was the muffled thump of music coming from inside.
I looked into his eyes, storm grey with a dark ashen ring around the iris. Eyes I’d been lost in a thousand times before. Realising that was a mistake, I pulled my gaze away to my hands in my lap.
“We first met when you joined my school in Burnt Oak. I didn’t know it at the time, but Equinox had sent you to protect me from Drayton, who was looking for the Orb of Tealon.”
Jack leaned in, and I busied myself with my water bottle, trying to ignore his proximity and stay focused on the story. Telling him all of this like we were strangers was so weird. I gave him a heavily edited version of everything that had happened up until Bayronite and coming here, which wasn’t easy considering my thoughts were swimming in wine and cocktails. Jack listened silently until I finished, then he let out a low whistle.
“I know it’s a lot.” I raised my head, and our eyes met. This time I let myself fall into the liquid steel of his eyes, just for a moment. “This is probably going to make me sound crazier than you already think I am, and I’m drunk, so I’ll probably regret this tomorrow…” I drew in a breath. “Back how things were for me, you and I… we… we were in a relationship.”
“I see.”
God, he was an expert at giving nothing away.
“I know this must be weird for you.”
“Must be weird for you too,” he replied.
“It is. Majorly. But weird is kind of where I live nowadays. Or used to, anyway.”
“Same.”
He held my gaze, and I swear for just a fraction of a second I saw him feel it too. Our connection. It was over so quickly I didn’t know if it was even real.
Jack got to his feet. “I should get going.”
“Right. My friends will be wondering where I’ve gone to.” I stood up, swaying slightly.
There was an awkward pause, then Jack headed for the door. I could kick myself. I should never have said anything about our relationship. Now he was freaked out and couldn’t get away fast enough.
“Will I see you again?” I asked, slightly panicked.
“Sure. I reckon we’ll be around for a bit.”
The way he said it was so Jack. My heart sang. Then he smiled at me, and I almost died.
It was only after he’d gone I realised I hadn’t told him about Barnaby.
* * *
Once we danced, drank, and laughed ourselves to the limit, we finally crashed out in Scott’s front room at around two in the morning. I awoke a couple of hours later, my mouth as dry as sandpaper. Getting up from the nest of cushions and blankets I had made on the floor, I tiptoed to the kitchen so as not to wake the girls, who were top to toe on the sofa. On my way I passed Scott’s bedroom. The door was ajar, and I could just make out his form sprawled out on his bed, still fully clothed.
I gulped down a whole pint of water. My head had already begun to pound, and I was filling up a second glass when movement caught my eye.
“Amy,” I gasped as I spun around. “You startled me.”
She smiled as I clutched my chest. “Sorry, I was trying to be quiet so I didn’t wake anyone. Does Scott have any orange juice?”
I opened the fridge and handed Amy the carton.
“Eliza, is everything okay with you?” she asked as she poured herself a glass.
“What do you mean?”
“Are you enjoying uni? I know you said you were, but… I don’t know. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like there’s something wrong. Like you’re holding something back?”
Her clear hazel eyes looked so honest. For a split second I wanted to spill my guts, to share my worries and fears with my best friend the way I had done for so many years of my life. Everyone makes mistakes. If faced with the situation again, would she make the same choices? Then an image of her face in the barn flashed through my mind. Her hard expression, as if I were her enemy, doused me like a splash of ice-cold water, extinguishing any thoughts I’d had about opening up to her.
“I’m fine. Drunk and tired, but fine.” Disappointment flickered across her face, and my stomach twisted. She could tell I wasn’t opening up to her, but I just couldn’t. “Do you ever wonder what it would be like if things were different?” I asked.
“Different how?”
“Like how things would be if we hadn’t been given the opportunities we have?”
“Not really. I try to be grateful for what I have, if that’s what you mean. Are you thinking of dropping out of uni?”
“No, it’s just you never really know what’s going to happen next. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.”
Amy sipped her juice and thought for a moment. “People always say that it’s not the things that happen that matter, it’s what you do that really counts.”
“Yeah, they do,” I said quietly.
Amy finished her orange juice and rinsed her glass in the sink.
“Even though we don’t see each other every day like before, I’ll still be there for you when you need me. I’m just a video call away. Whatever is on your mind, you can call me day or night.”
“Thanks.”
Amy patted my arm. “You’re going to change the world one day, Eliza. And you can count on me to be by your side when you do.”