The thought of going back to the dorm and staring at Roxy’s empty side of the room left a heavy ball of dread rolling around in the bottom of my stomach. Instead, I asked Jack to drop me off at Scott’s place. I think he was relieved he wouldn’t be leaving me alone. He waited while I walked up the path and pressed the telecom.
It took a few long moments until Scott answered. When the door buzzed, Jack took off. I climbed the stairs, my heart heavy.
Scott took one look at me and ushered me inside.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.” It wasn’t terribly late, but from the way Scott’s hair stuck up, I’d clearly woken him.
“Don’t worry about that. What’s wrong?”
“I… can I stay here tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”
“Of course you can.”
On the way to the kitchen, we passed Scott’s room. The door was ajar, and in the dark room, I could just make out the silhouette of someone in the bed.
“Is that Jared?” I clamped my hand over my mouth. It was. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realise I was intruding. You should have said. I’ll go.”
Scott grabbed my hand as I turned to leave.
“No way. We’re only sleeping.” He grinned. “I swear.”
“Are you sure?”
“Eliza, I’m not letting you go back out into the night by yourself. You’re staying here and that’s final.”
“Thank you.”
“What are best friends for?”
For some reason this brought tears to my eyes.
Scott brought me some bedding and settled me on the sofa, then went back to Jared. Wrapped up in the duvet like a sausage roll, I closed my eyes and tried to silence the thoughts spinning through my mind. In the kitchen the tap dripped, and I focused on the noise, finding it a comfort rather than an annoyance. It blocked out the chatter, and I drifted off to the drip, drip, drip…
* * *
Jets of water flowed from the fountain down into the clear pool below, where copper and silver wishes shimmered beneath the surface. Something seemed different.
The air was crisp, and my breaths came out in cold puffs. A white blanket of snow covered the courtyard.
I looked down and saw I was wearing a floor-length ball gown. Tiny crystals hid amongst folds of peach taffeta and lace, sparkling like stars.
Snowflakes drifted down from the hazy blue-grey sky. Trickles of water ran along the rim of the cold marble, turning into tendrils of ice as they spread along the fountain’s edge. More ran down the central plinth and extended across the plaque. The letters on the memorial shifted and swirled around, rearranging into a new pattern. As the water covered the front of the fountain, ice cracked and frosted over. The sign had changed. I squinted. The frost was too thick. I couldn’t read it.
Gathering my dress in my hands, I climbed up on the edge of the fountain. The cold ledge chilled my bare feet even though I had just been standing in the snow. Careful to stay off the ice, I stretched up to my full height. Still unable to read the sign, I reached forward and brushed the frost away with my hand.
My chest tightened with a gasp. I was right—the words had changed. The name of Riverdell University founder Anders Naleioz was no longer there. Instead, etched into the brass, in bold letters, the plaque read:
WAKE UP, ELIZA
Thin offshoots of ice continued to grow until they wound underneath my feet. The ledge became slippery, and I fell. I plunged into the fountain, the icy water searing through to my bones. Instead of hitting the bottom like I expected, I kept falling.
Filtered light shone down from the surface. Shadows danced. I could see the bottom, the coins glittering in the light. It had to be over twenty feet deep. Underwater, my senses were altered, muffled and distant. A figure reached up from the shadows, his dark hair slick from the water, his grey eyes shining bright.
Jack.
He reached out. His shirt clung to his body when he moved. I couldn’t speak. I searched his face. What was happening? He didn’t seem afraid. In fact, he smiled. The moment I took his hand, the cold left my body.
He pulled me towards him, my dress flowing behind me. We spun and twirled like we were dancing on air.
This couldn’t be real. I needed to breathe.
I glided, my body weightless in the water.
Jack spun me around, then dipped me. I inclined my head and closed my eyes as he leaned in, waiting for his lips to touch mine. When they didn’t, I opened my eyes. Jack held me in his arms with a faraway smile. When I looked into his eyes, my heart stopped. The familiar shades of gunmetal laced with flecks of silver sparks were there, but something else flickered deep within.
Reflected in his pupils, white-hot flames simmered through fierce yellow and burnt orange. The blaze looked so real, I turned behind me to see it. Nothing was there, only the rippling blue water, stretching on as far as I could see. Shrill screams echoed around me, and I turned back to Jack. His eyes burned brighter now. A flow of molten lava burning and bubbling.
Bayronite.
* * *
My eyes flew open. The room was dark, and for a moment I couldn’t remember where I was. Sweat beaded on my forehead, and I struggled to push off the duvet, which was wrapped tightly around me. That’s right—Scott’s sofa.
Rubbing my temples, I sat up and rested my head in my hands, willing my heart rate to slow down. I could still hear the blaze of the fire and the screams as the lava poured down the mountains of rubbish. This vision wasn’t from the dream—it was from memory. What happened on Bayronite was real. Pretending it hadn’t happened only made it worse in my head. I lay back down and curled up into a ball, my face wet with tears. How was I supposed to move on?
I stared at my hand, which still tingled from his touch.
My Jack. I still thought of dream Jack as my Jack, and this Jack… it was him, but he wasn’t my Jack. He’d said it himself.
He might have seen my memories, our memories, but he still had his wall up. The connection we shared had been severed. My heart ached at the thought. I hadn’t wanted to admit it before, but it was why I had stopped myself from taking things further with him. Things didn’t feel the same. Perhaps that would change over time. If he got to know me better, he would trust me… maybe. But I needed to face facts. I wasn’t in the inner circle anymore. I was on the outside looking in.
Drawing in a shaky breath, I sat up and wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. I couldn’t keep going on like this. I knew what I had to do.
Picking up my phone, I texted Jack.
I’ve decided to have my memories wiped. I’d really like it to be you who does it. If you don’t want to, though, I’ll understand.
I pressed send before any more jumbled emotions poured out. A weird feeling of finality spread through me as I flopped back on my pillows. I was sick of going around in circles, trying to fit in where I clearly didn’t belong anymore. My mind was made up. Jack would wipe my memory. I would get my degree and move on with my life, free from the pain of my past and a world I was no longer a part of.