“Griff,” Carla said, standing on the terrace next to their table. “Can I have a word with you, please?”
His skin prickled at her question, and his eyes immediately caught Autumn’s. She gave him a quick a nod, as though she didn’t mind.
“Ah, yeah, sure.” He turned back to Autumn and Lydia. “I’ll be back in a minute, okay?”
“Works for me.” Autumn shot her sister a reassuring smile. “If your food arrives, I’ll ask them to keep it warm.”
Lydia was watching with a rapt expression, as though she was enjoying the drama a little too much. As soon as Griff followed Carla around the back of the restaurant, he heard Lydia whisper loudly to Autumn, “who’s that?”
“I’ll tell you later,” Autumn replied, clearing her throat.
There was nobody at the back of the restaurant. Just him, Carla, and all the trash cans, along with stacks of furniture waiting for repair. With a sigh, he turned to look at her. Her mouth was pressed together tightly, and her eyes shone a little too hard.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice low. She might’ve hated his guts but he wasn’t an asshole. He could tell she was upset.
“Not really, no.” She shook her head. “I can’t believe you brought her here, to my dad’s restaurant, to flaunt it all in front of me. How could you kiss her while I was watching?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think.” He shot her a sympathetic look. “What happened between us was a while ago, Carla. And you were the one who called an end to it. I kind of assumed we were over this.”
“I was.” She shook her head. “No, I thought I was.” She lifted her gaze to his, her eyes glinting. “But you told me we couldn’t work because you weren’t into commitment. That you only wanted something casual. That it wasn’t about me.”
“It wasn’t.”
“So why is it not casual with her? Why are you ready to commit with her when you said you never would be?” Her bottom lip trembled.
It was the same question he’d been asking himself for the past couple of weeks. What was it about Autumn that made him want to change all his perfectly ordered rules? To open up the armor he’d carefully constructed around his heart and let himself be vulnerable?
“She’s different,” he said softly. “That’s why.”
Carla’s face fell. “You said you couldn’t commit to anybody.”
“I didn’t believe I could.”
She took in a ragged breath, then blew it out again. “So why couldn’t you be with me?” Her voice broke, and it made him break a little. Because they’d been friends once, before he’d messed everything up between them. And even if they hadn’t, he wasn’t inhuman. He didn’t want to see anybody suffer.
Especially not because of him.
“I told you before. It’s not you, it’s me.” He looked down at the wooden planks beneath his feet, fixating on a raised knot. “I was really careful to be honest with you all along. I didn’t lie to you. I didn’t make any promises I couldn’t keep.” He looked up. “And I never meant to break your heart.”
She stifled a sob. “But you did. I really thought you were a good man, Griff. An honorable one. And maybe I thought I could change you.”
“I’m sorry.” It was all he could say, because she was right. He’d tried to be good and honorable. Never to hurt anybody the way he’d been hurt all his life. But he’d done it anyway, without meaning to, and it made him feel like crap.
“It’s not going to work between you two,” Carla said, lifting her chin up. “You must know that. She’s out of your league. I can tell that just by looking at her. She’s rich, she’s classy.” Carla laughed. “And I have no idea what she sees in you.”
Any vulnerability she’d had was gone, replaced by the hissing anger he’d become used to. The Carla she’d been ever since they’d ended things. The crazy thing was, he preferred it this way. He could deal with furious Carla.
But tearful Carla was another matter altogether.
“I have no idea either,” he admitted. “But I’m just telling myself I’m a lucky sonofabitch.”
“Luck always runs out,” she spat.
“I guess we’ll see about that.” He rolled his stiff neck and looked out at the ocean. “Is that everything you wanted to talk about?”
“Yeah. I have nothing else to say.” She crossed her arms over her ample chest.
He flashed her the briefest of smiles. “Okay. Take care of yourself.”
“I will. And you can go fuck yourself.”
His lips twitched, but he managed to stop himself from laughing. God, she was certifiable. Her abrupt change of mood made it much easier to walk away from her, even though he still felt like a piece of shit.
Relationships weren’t for the faint hearted. He knew that much.
But once in a lifetime you found the one person it was worth risking everything for. And for him, Autumn was that person.
He just hoped he was her person, too.
“So Griff is hot,” Lydia said, fanning her face as she sat down on the corner of Autumn’s old mahogany desk. “And big. Jesus, he’s like Aquaman. But a bit less wet.”
“I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear that.” Autumn shook her head as she pulled an old photograph out from beneath Lydia’s butt. It was one she’d scanned to be blown up onto the huge canvasses that would line the pier on the charity day. It showed a beautiful woman wearing a long, pale dress, an elaborate bustle pushing the fabric out from her hips, emphasizing her tiny waist. She was holding a lace-edged parasol, the stem resting on her shoulder as she lifted her head up to the sky, her eyes closed.
Of all the photographs Frank Megassey had loaned her, this was Autumn’s favorite. She wasn’t completely sure why. Maybe it was the rapt expression on the woman’s face, or the beautiful clothes she was wearing. Whatever it was, it made Autumn feel warm inside. Content, even.
“So who was that woman who looked at him like he’d just killed her cat?” Lydia asked casually. “Cara, was it?”
“Carla,” Autumn corrected her. “Her dad owns the restaurant. And she and Griff had a thing a while back.”
Lydia leaned forward, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. “They did? When? Is that why she looked like she wanted to swallow him whole?”
“A year or so ago, I think. But it wasn’t serious, according to his friends.”
“Whoa. He must be really good in bed for her to still look upset about losing him.” Lydia leaned even closer. “Is he?”
“I’ll never tell.” Autumn tried – and failed – to hide her smirk.
“You don’t need to tell me. I can read it on your face. I knew it!” Lydia clapped her hands together. “The big guys always know what to do with their bodies. It’s like they understand their power or something, and know how to use it wisely. Did I tell you about the guy I met in New Zealand? He was bigger than Griff, if that’s even possible. And when I say big, I mean in every way.”
Autumn clamped her hands on her ears. “Stop! I don’t want to hear about my baby sister having sex.”
Lydia laughed and peeled Autumn’s hands away. “Okay, I won’t mention him again. Or the multiple orgasms he could give a person just by looking at them.”
Autumn’s mouth dropped open. “Seriously?”
“Almost. But that’s not what I want to talk about, anyway. From the way he’s been looking at you all day, I think Griff has a few ideas of his own. The guy adores you.”
“Shut up.”
“I mean it. The way he looks at you is sizzling. He’s got this whole protective thing that’s impossible to see if you’re not looking closely. If somebody is walking toward the two of you, he speeds up just enough to put himself in front of you. I swear he’d take a bullet for you if he could.”
Autumn’s eyes widened. Lydia had to be seeing things.
“And I’ve seen the way you look at him, too, so don’t tell me I’m imagining stuff,” her sister continued, lowering her voice. “He’s gotten under your skin, hasn’t he?”
Glancing out of the dusty window, Autumn could see the pale blue painted building that housed Delmonico’s. Behind it was where Griff had talked to Carla, and she’d be a liar if she said it hadn’t bothered her a bit.
“Yeah, he has a bit,” she admitted.
“I knew it.” Lydia hugged her, the impulsive action taking Autumn by surprise. “I’m so happy for you. I knew all that bullshit about no strings was just lies. You two are perfect for each other.”
“They weren’t lies,” Autumn said softly. “I really believed them. I didn’t think I was ready for a relationship so soon after getting divorced.”
“Pah. Your divorce was inevitable. Anybody could see Josh was the wrong guy for you. I always thought he and dad were more suited than you two were.”
“Josh and Dad?” Autumn laughed. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I’m not saying in a romantic relationship. But Dad was always subtly trying to push you and Josh together. And I swear he was more upset than you were when the two of you split. Like you ruined their bromance.”
“You think?” Autumn wrinkled her nose.
“Yep. And it scuppered all his plans. You’ve always been the daughter he can show off. You made him look like a winner. His daughter with a business degree and a successful marriage to a man who’s making waves in Manhattan real estate. Did you ever notice that your wedding photo was on his office wall next to all his certificates and commendations?”
“I never thought about it like that.”
“Of course you didn’t. He’s like one of those guys in those historical romances, giving his daughter’s hand to the man who’ll bring the most prestige to the family. No wonder he was devastated when you told him it was over.”
Autumn’s breath caught in her throat. Was Lydia right? She thought about the night she met Josh, at a garden party in the Hamptons. He’d walked over to her with a glass of champagne and told her she was the only beautiful woman at the party. And she’d fallen for him, hook, line, and sinker. But now she could also remember him telling her he’d been talking to her father, and asking about his business.
“When I told him Josh and I were divorcing, Dad begged me to give it another year,” Autumn admitted. “Said that I wasn’t a quitter, that I just needed more time to get used to things.”
“He doesn’t like not being in control.” Lydia walked over to the window that faced the bright blue ocean, pressing her nose against it. “I think this is the first time in your life you’ve done something that makes him angry.” She looked over her shoulder at Autumn. “And it looks good on you.”
“He wants me to sell the pier.”
Lydia sighed. “Of course he does. He wants you back home and dating a suitable guy. Imagine how pissed he’ll be when he meets Griff.”
Autumn’s stomach fell at the thought of it. Angel Sands felt like a million miles away from New York, not just the couple thousand that separated the East Coast from West. She liked it that way. Liked who she was here, and the people who took care of her. Sometimes it felt like they’d get eaten alive in Manhattan.
“Oh god, you’re in love with him!”
Autumn blinked. “What?”
“That expression on your face. All soft and faraway. You love the pants off Griff.” Lydia’s eyes widened. “What did he say when you told him?”
“I haven’t.” Autumn shook her head.
“Why not?”
“Because it’s too soon. And I’m not sure he believes in love.”
“Doesn’t matter whether he believes it or not, it exists.” Lydia turned until her back was against the window and folded her arms across her chest, the way she had when they were kids and she was being stubborn as hell. Not much had changed. “And he feels the same way about you. I know he does.”
“Do you think so?”
“Absolutely. You have to tell him. And before I leave town. I can’t get on a plane all worried that you’re going to mess things up.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” Autumn chuckled.
“So, you’re going to stay here in Angel Sands? Keep the pier? Settle down with the man mountain?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead.”
“But you’ve told dad you’re not selling the pier, right?”
“Kind of.” Autumn shrugged.
“What does that mean?”
“It means he’s sending a guy over to meet with me and discuss the sale. I tried to say no, but he wouldn’t have any of it.” And she was so tired of fighting against him. “But I’m not going to sell. I’ll listen politely and explain that it’s not for sale, and then at least I can tell Dad I heard him out.”
“What a waste of time.” Lydia sighed. “One of these days you’ll learn to say no to Dad, the same way I have.”
“It was okay for you. I took the heat off you.”
Lydia’s eyes softened. “I know you did. And I’m grateful for it, I really am. But it pisses me off to see him try to make you do the things you don’t want to. He’s thousands of miles away, what’s so scary about him?”
“Nothing. I’m not scared. I just don’t want to let him down.”
Lydia walked toward her, taking Autumn’s hands in hers. “You haven’t let anybody down. Not ever. You’re the best big sister in the world. I know you used to cover for me when I snuck out at night. And I heard you stand up for me when I refused to go to college and wanted to travel the world.” She squeezed Autumn’s palms. “I just wish you could stand up for yourself, too.”
“I will.” Autumn felt sure of it. “Just let me get this charity day over with, then I’ll let dad know I’m not selling the pier. I’ll even tell him I’m serious about Griff.”
“You should probably tell Griff that, too.” Lydia winked.
Autumn laughed. “Whatever you say.” She reached forward to hug her sister tight, breathing in the aroma of strawberry shampoo in Lydia’s flowing hair as it tickled her nose.
There was nothing to be afraid of. Not anymore. Angel Sands meant safety, and Griff meant happiness. The thought of it made her smile.