four

Mallen headed back to his truck after leaving Trina’s. On the way, he looked at the neighborhood. The grime. The crime. Amazing to him the will to survive, and what people were forced to endure. The more he thought about that though, he realized that statement wasn’t really accurate. Some out here weren’t forced to endure, they welcomed the opportunity. Sometimes maybe it seemed like a test, a test to see how much they could endure. Still, now that he’d been clean for some time, he could see with better eyes the need that some of these people had. Like the woman who begged for change on the street corner. If he remembered correctly, her name was Beatrice. Older. Obese. In a broken-down wheelchair, her body covered under a stained, threadbare blanket. Skin tanned the color of dark leather. She’d been begging on that corner for over five years. She’d disappear for a few weeks, then reappear with a new wheelchair and some clean clothes. Looked like she’d had some days where she could bathe, or be bathed. Eyes were brighter. But then, over time, she wore away again. Eyes turned off. Wheelchair went rusty and rickety. Her voice lost its temporary vibrancy. And then there she was: back to being what she was before the respite she got Lord knows where. Some women’s shelter, maybe.

–––––

Mallen managed to pick up Anna a few minutes early. That had been a lucky break, given the usual San Francisco traffic. He never again wanted to be late for anything involving his daughter. Wanted to show her that she meant everything to him. He needed to show Anna, and Chris, that he was here to stay. No more going back to the needle. Not ever.

Anna rushed out of the house as soon as he’d pulled up. Sure, she’d be excited, but he could sense there was something more to her coming out so fast and on her own. Glanced up at the window, half-expecting to see a man’s shadow in the living room window. There was of course no one. Still, it was strange. He got out and went down on one knee, his arms spread wide. She fell into them, nuzzling against his unshaven neck.

“Good to see you, A,” he said, whispering it into her ear.

“Daddy,” she replied, “you’re on time.”

He laughed as he put her in the backseat, passenger side, then buckled her in. Couldn’t help it: took one last glance up at the door. No Chris. Could he really expect more, after everything that had happened? Should he really wonder if she wanted no part of him and his world? And would that be the way it was going to be from now on? He hoped not, but however it played out, that’s how he’d play it.

He drove them over to the Marina Green, that huge swath of greenery by the blue waters of the San Francisco Bay where people came to play soccer, have a picnic, or just sit in their cars, smoke dope, and talk.

“Daddy!” Anna said as she ran with the kite he’d brought, “w

“Okay, A.” He let her lead him over to the middle of the area she’d chosen. Looked ahead as he planned his run. The wind was good today. Not too heavy. Almost just right. His daughter waited impatiently, wanting him to get the kite up in the air so she could take over. It was too big for her now, but one day she’d be the one bringing the kite up from the world, up into the deep blue. He wondered then if she’d still want to do this, when that time came.

He brought the kite string tight in his hand. Looked ahead again, checking the wind. It was strong from the west. No fog. Took off running, not being able to remember the last fucking time he’d felt so good. The string went taunt, and he felt it twist a little in his hand and he knew without looking the kite was in the air. But then he did look over his shoulder and had to admit to himself that he’d done well. Fuck yeah, he had. It was a beautiful kite. The kite soared upward, a swipe of color across the sky.

“Give it to me, Daddy!” she insisted as she came running to him.

“Here you go, A,” he replied. Gave her the reins, stepping back to let her work the line and thus work the kite. He watched with pride at how capable and into it she was. Watched as she pulled and released the string, making the kite go higher and higher. He was with his little girl, and that meant he was at peace. Something rare. He watched her as she looked up at the kite, and it reminded him so strongly of Chris when they’d go out to the beach and she’d look up with wonder at a squadron of pelicans as they flew by.

They’d been at it for about an hour when Mallen’s attention was caught by an unmarked cop car pulling into the parking lot. He knew it was a cop car by the fact it was too clean, too normal, and too big. The car pulled into the slot nearest to where he and his daughter were. A woman got out from behind the wheel. She was short. Mallen judged her as just above regulation. Dressed just like a detective in the police force. Another detective, a man, exited the car. He was built big and heavy. The woman detective motioned for her partner to hang back by their vehicle.

As she walked toward Mallen, he thought he recognized her, but couldn’t be sure. The faint memory he had was of her in uniform. Could swear he’d worked with her at some point. As she got closer, a name came to him: Gwen Saunders. And then he knew that they had worked together. On a drug case, back before he’d gone undercover.

How the fuck had she found him? And why was she looking for him? He didn’t want this type of shit fucking up the world he had with his daughter. She’d already been through a lot. She didn’t need any more bullshit.

“Saunders,” he said as she got closer. “Didn’t know you were into kite flying.”

She looked up into the sky. At the kite sailing around. Watched as it soared and ducked and seemed as free as a child without a care in the world. “I’m not, Mallen,” Saunders said.

Anna picked up on the vibe in the air now. The tension. Moved a little closer to her father.

“How did you know where to find me? Freaks me out, ya know?”

“Figured it would.” Saunders kept her eyes on the kite. Watched as Anna lost control and the kite dove down toward the grass, his daughter yanking just enough on the string to keep it from taking a total nosedive. Instead, it hit the grass and rolled. Anna ran over to it immediately. Scanned it for damage as she walked back to Mallen and Saunders.

“It’ll survive, Daddy,” she smiled.

“Oh yeah it will,” he replied. “Takes a lot to kill a kite made by me.”

Anna smiled at him again. “Watch me. I’m going to launch it this time!” She ran off and readied the kite for another run. Mallen watched her get out of ear range before he said to Saunders, “Why are you here, Gwen? Been a long time. I’m out of that world. You know that.”

“Since you got booted off the force for your fashion sense about street drugs?”

“That part of my life is over, too. You must’ve heard about that.” He bent down and picked up the spool of unused string he’d brought. “What do you want?”

“Daddy,” Anna yelled, “watch me launch it!”

“Go for it, A,” he yelled back. She was going to learn everything on her own as she went through life. He could see that. Made him proud. He and Saunders watched her run across the grass, picking up speed, the string going tight and the kite lifting off into the air. And only a minute ago he’d been thinking she wasn’t ready. That’s my girl.

Saunders watched her for a moment longer before she said, “You heard about the kidnapped little Marston girl?”

“Yeah. I heard.”

“Well,” Saunders told him, “I’ve been assigned to the case.”

“Lucky you, I guess.”

“I thought maybe you could help me, Mallen.”

“Yeah?” Kept his eyes on Anna. Watched as she sailed the kite higher and higher. “How could I help you?”

“You know that part of town. Thought you might’ve heard something. Or, maybe will hear something.”

He looked at her then. “Told you I was out of the game.”

“And like I said, I’d heard something to that effect. But you still know people there and don’t try to tell me otherwise. People that could help you find out things.” Pulled out her notebook. Opened it. “Eduardo Calderon, maybe? Gato, right? That’s his street name, right?”

“Gwen,” he replied, a smile working to appear, “you want to turn me into your snitch? You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

She told him, “Mallen, you know this is probably a sex crime.” Glanced down at the grass, then again over at Anna. “I just want to find her. Wouldn’t you, if our places were reversed?”

He watched Anna flying the kite that he’d made for her. The one he’d sweated over. Sweated over because it had to be just right for her. Nothing less than perfection for his little girl. Even back when he was shooting dope, he’d always made the kites perfect. The greatest thing to happen to him, outside of Chris, had been Anna. And again, he was struck by what he’d lost. How much he’d lost.

What if it had been his daughter?

He weighed the angles on helping Gwen. If he were to help Trina, then he would need someone on the inside of the department. Someone who could check arrest records for him. Run license plates. He couldn’t go to Oberon all the time. Not with all the help Obie had given him in the recent past. He would need information at some point. Gwen could be a big help in finding Trina’s daughter.

Finally, he nodded. Told her, “Okay, but it’s gonna work my way, yeah?”

She seemed relieved by his agreeing to help. “What way is that?”

“I give over what I find, but you give me what I need.”

She didn’t even need to think it over. “Agreed.”

“Good. You have any leads at all?”

Gwen consulted her notes again. “Maybe. A man named Hendrix. Tommy Hendrix. He’s an addict. Was seen very early that day hanging around Trina Marston’s building.”

“Wait a minute. Drug addicts are not kidnappers. You know this. So he was hanging around? So what? There must’ve been at least twenty other addicts hanging around that street, too.”

“Because he was seen later that day, flush with money. And junk.” When Mallen shook his head, she added, “Look, I’m not saying he did it. But what I am saying is that he could be connected in some way. It’s a strange coincidence.”

Anna began pulling the kite back down to Earth. He checked his watch. It was time for lunch. He thought about what Gwen had told him. Hendrix seemed like a real long shot. The guy could’ve just robbed some house or apartment. Still, he figured, he had to start somewhere. “I’ll follow up on it,” he told Gwen.

She pulled out her card. Turned it over and scribbled something down on it. “Here,” she said holding it out to him, “here’s the number to my cell. Call anytime you think you have something.”

He took the card. “Got it, Chief,” he replied as he dug into his coat pockets. Came up with a crumpled receipt for some pizza he’d bought last week. Scribbled his cell phone number down. Handed it over to Gwen.

“And when I say anytime, I mean it, okay?” Gwen replied as she took the piece of paper he offered her. She then put her notebook back in her jacket. “And I mean anytime you have anything. Don’t leave me in the dark.”

“Got it, Chief.”