Chapter 2

Carson

“Yo, Thomas!” I hear a yell come from the office down the hall. We address each other by our surnames around here. Nobody ever calls me Carson, always Thomas.

“Yeah!” I call back.

“You got approved for leave, man! Just got word.” It’s Chase, one of my colleagues. He’s also learning how to build bombs and military machines. There are about ten of us, but Chase is the one who picked the shortest straw when we drew for the sucker who gets to check the mail. We don’t have a secretary right now, seeing as she went home on leave for two weeks. This is my first leave since being here six months. Basic training was in every way the ball-busting extravaganza that you hear about through movies and books and such, and it’s true. It’s just thanks to God that I have years of ranch living behind me that keeps me in tip-top shape, or I would have failed that miserably.

I haven’t been assigned to go to combat yet, but we’re told that that could come, just not at the moment, while we’re in training. Phone calls home have been brief, and with Missy, even more brief. Missy finally stopped crying when I called her about a month in. Mama isn’t the emotional type, so it makes for a better conversation when I’m able to make the call. Writing letters isn’t my thing, and there’s really nothing to write about, so I haven’t bothered. No mail comes my way, either, even though I gave the address.

The guys here are fantastic. We party it up at night all the time; playing poker, drinking here and there when we don’t have an early morning. It’s somewhat of a safe zone here, and it’s almost like we’re separated from the herd of soldiers. We’re granted different rules here, too, which is why it doesn’t really feel like we’re in Afghanistan. There are Sergeants and Lieutenants who are assigned to us, but it’s our teachers who are the people truly in charge, and they’re just as cool. Some of them party with us, too.

Being in the military is, I hate to admit it, better than living on the ranch with my brothers. These guys have become sort of my brothers, I hate to say it, but it’s true. I’ve told them all about the bullshit that was going on back home in El Paso, and most of them agree that Hawk’s the biggest asshole that ever lived, and that I was smart to get away from him. They’re right. As much as I hate doing what I did to Missy, it was for the best. But truth be told, there are a few ladies out here, though I’ll never tell Missy. This is a school, remember, and some females here are into military training.

Of course, none of them have looked my way, nor would I dare to look their way, either, not only because of Missy, but because it’s just not right, not here, anyway. But I haven’t told Missy about any of them, so I don’t set her off. Missy can be a bit of the jealous type. I hear Chase walking down the hall towards me. “Hey, the guys are up for a little something tonight, are you in?”

I lean back in my chair, interlacing my fingers behind my head. “Depends on what this something is, partner.”

He gets a grin on his face, gesturing to the door. “The bar outside base is having a wet t-shirt contest tonight, man. I heard there’ll be some really hot ladies there. And I don’t know about you, but I haven’t been laid in a while, man. Ladies outside base love military men. Are you up for it?”

I’ve never seen a wet t-shirt contest. None of them in the town where I live. It’s been a long time since I’ve done anything like that, but I can’t help but think how Missy might feel about that. “I don’t know, man. If I’m going home on leave, my girl might not like that idea too much. I’d hate to spoil my only trip home in six months.”

“Up to you, man. But dude, don’t deprive yourself, man. You’ve been seeing nothing but wiener since you arrived, man. You ain’t seen nothing until you’ve seen the off-base ladies drool over a military man. You show up in your camouflage uniform, you’re golden. They’ll be all over you and you won’t even have to ask. They won’t ask, either.” I fold my arms over my chest, watching Chase talk like he’s an old man telling his most prized story. “Once, this lady dragged me into her car behind a bar. She fucked my brains out…three times. Never seen anything like it, man.”

“Really.” Is all I can think of to say. “Too bad I don’t think with my dick, man. I wasn’t raised the same way you were, I suppose.” I can’t help the playful smirk on my face.

He scoffs. “You leave here without the experience, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life, man. I’m not kidding. Ask anyone.”

“Alright. I’ll come out to this wet t-shirt contest. But I’m not getting into any lady’s car, see.” I warn, good-naturedly.

 

***

 

“Salt!” Chase yells over the din of music. “Lime!” he yells again, and then we all follow suit, tipping our heads back, drinking down another shot of tequila. It burns like hell, but I’ve got one hell of a buzz. The beer here is horrible. Swamp water tastes better. I’m going home in five days, and it’s weird, because I can’t get in touch with Missy to let her know. I think she might have gone away, but I’m not sure.

“She’s forgotten about you, man.” Simon, another colleague, says. “Enjoy yourself. We could be killed tomorrow for all we know.”

“We could be killed walking across the street back home, too. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to cheat on her.”

He’s about to refute, when the stage lights come on. I’m too drunk to see straight, so under the lights, I can’t tell if these are Afghan women or American women. They’re certainly not Texan women, so I lose interest fast. Especially since one of the female bartenders is looking my way. Can’t decide if in my drunkenness, that I’m imagining it, so I just stare her way.

“You missing home, sugar?” she asks, cleaning a glass with a sponge.

“Hell, no.” I say adamantly.

A confused ‘v’ forms on her forehead. “Really? And here I thought I was the only one.” I notice she has a twang.

“Where’re you from?”

“Houston. But I started school in Dallas.”

“No kidding.” I chuckle. “Gosh, it’s a small world. I’m a Texan, too. How’d y’all end up out here?”

She sets the glass down and rests her chin on her hand. “I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth like most in my parts. The company I was working for shut down in my first year of college. Had to quit for a couple of years, and then a friend stuck the military bug in my ear. Came out here to finish my degree, and now I’m well on my way. I tend bar to send money home, so I have somewhere to live whenever I decide to go back.”

“What are you taking?”

“Physiotherapy.”

“Oh yeah?” I’m impressed. “And how far away are you from graduating?”

“Well, I took some extra courses, sorting things out and all, so I set myself back some. But I’ll get there.” I notice that she sidesteps her answer. “What about you?”

“I live on a ranch in El Paso. Wanted to get the hell out of there right quick on account of my asshole brothers.”

She rolls her eyes like she agrees with me. “Sounds like my shitty family.”

“You on base?”

“Yeah. You?”

“Yeah.”

“How come I’ve never seen y’all before?”

“I’m in med school, basically. I’d lay bets that you’re not.”

I smile. “Why do you say that?”

“With those beefy arms, honey, you aren’t looking to be a doctor.”

I lift my brows. “My oldest brother’s a doctor. Don’t kid yourself.”

“Oh, really?” she frowns. “What are you taking here?”

I decide to spare her the technical name of the course. “I’m learning how to make machines that go boom.”

She grins. “How tanked are you, sugar?”

“Tanked enough. I don’t usually drink. Never did until I came here.” I admit.

“Drinking away your troubles isn’t going to help you, friend.” She says, placing a hand on mine. It feels nice. It’s the first female touch I’ve had in six months, or even longer, if I’m being honest with myself. Missy’s not the sexual type. She’s very Catholic. We’re not allowed to do more things than we are allowed to do.

“I know it. My brother’s on the sauce. Got it bad.”

“So, what are you doing chucking them back? You letting these goons pressure you into it?” she gestures with her chin towards the stage, where my partners are hooting and hollering, egging these godawful ugly girls to take their shirts off. I wince and turn back towards the bar, not wanting to see that again.

“I suppose.”

She raises her brows again, and I think she does this when her suspicions are correct. “Did y’all even want to come out here tonight…?” she trails off, indicating that she doesn’t know my name.

“Carson.” I answer.

“That your first or your last name?” she asks, her voice flat.

“First. Last name’s Thomas. What’s yours?”

“Kerry-Ann. Kerry-Ann Miller.” She says, sticking her hand out for me to shake.

“Nice to meet you, Kerry-Ann.” I say, trying to pronounce all three syllables, but struggling.

She chuckles. “Did y’all want to come out here tonight, Carson?”

“I was promised a wet t-shirt contest.” I say, sounding as thrilled as I was originally with the idea. “But these girls…wait…are they even girls?”

“Not sure. But ain’t no Afghan ladies doing any kind of dancing, let alone topless dancing.” She says, gesturing with her hand. “I wouldn’t touch these things with a ten-foot pole if you get my drift.”

I smirk. “I’ll take your word for it.” I lick my lips. “They never make you get up on that stage?” I ask, curious. Not making the suggestion, and thankfully she doesn’t take it that way.

“Not in a million years.” She snuffles. “These boys are hornier than toads. I wouldn’t get near any of them.”

“Then how come y’all are talking to me?”

“Well, because you looked my way, and y’all have this…sad…kinda look. It’s kind of cute. And I can tell about people right quick. You aren’t a pig. And I was right. Either you’re gay, which I’m not getting that vibe from you—and you’d a come in here with a busted nose if you were—or you’ve got yourself a hot little number waiting for you at home. Something tells me it’s the latter, and I’ve got no worries about you coming on to me, just like you haven’t.”

“Well, dang.” I chuckle. “You’re good.”

She smiles. “Am I right?”

I chuckle, impressed. “Yeah. Missy, my girl, she’s waiting for me back at home in El Paso. I’m going home to her in five days.”

Another smile. She’s impressed. “Good on you, honey.”

“Yeah.” I wipe a bead of spittle off the side of my mouth. “I’d never do a thing like that, anyway. Wasn’t raised like that. My mama and daddy were married until he passed, and the thought never occurred to me. These…goons…as you call them, are hell bent on me messing around on her on account of they say that she’s forgotten about me. Stands to reason though, since I can’t even get in touch to tell her that I’m coming home on leave.”

“Oh, geez, well…don’t listen to them, honey. I’m sure she’s just busy. I’m sure you’re all she thinks about, sweetheart.”

I smile. “Thanks.”

“And these boys, they just want to have something to gossip about. They’re worse than women. I know. I’ve got brothers, too.”

Another smile. “How many you got?”

“Five. I’m the only girl.”

“Oh, wow, you’re just like us then. There are five boys and one girl, my sister, Rachel.”

She smiles. “And you’re the…let me guess…the middle child?”

“Right again. And you?”

“I’m the middle child, too.” She grins, and one of the waitresses brings her a drink order. She starts filling it while we continue chatting. Then she changes the subject. “So, tell me about your girl. Is she cute?”

“She’s cute, yeah.” I nod. “It’s a little…complicated, though.”

Kelly-Ann waves. “Honey, it’s always complicated. That’s why I’m not in a relationship. I decided to stay out of that until I’m finished school and well on my way.”

“I gave Missy the option before I left…you know…to break up. But she didn’t want to.”

“Sounds like she’s a doll, Carson. Not many women would wait around, especially if y’all aren’t married.”

“She wanted to get married.” I explain. “But I’m not ready for that yet. Especially going away and all. That’s no way to start a marriage.”

“I agree fully, baby. But how long have y’all been together?”

“A couple of years. Off and on, kind of. We got off on the wrong foot at first, because of my brothers and all, and then we got back together. She’s Catholic, too, and I’m not, so it’s…complicated.”

Her eyes widen, as if she understands completely. “Oh. You mean…you haven’t….?” she trails off, gesturing with her hands. Then she bats them, as though she’s swatting a fly. “No, that’s none of my business, Carson. Y’all don’t have to answer that.”

I lift a hand. “It’s okay.” I say, chuckling softly. “Let’s just say that we haven’t done the full monty yet, but we can do almost everything else, so long as her folks aren’t home.”

“So, hand jobs and blow jobs are allowed, but no intercourse.” She says flatly.

I lift one side of my mouth up into a smirk. I’d never disclose this much personal information sober, but it feels good to let it out, without judgement. “Well…you’re half right.”

She shakes her head and looks at me down her nose. “So…no blow jobs.”

“Exactly.”

She purses her lips together. “She must be awfully special for y’all to give up all that for her.”

“She’s…pretty great.” I say.

“Yeah? So, how come you’re not ready to tie the knot with her? If y’all didn’t come out here, would you have?”

I draw in a deep breath in thought. And then I shake my head, looking down at my hands. “I’m not sure.” But the way that I say it, I might as well say no.

“How come, doll? Just not ready yet?”

“I can’t really figure it out yet.” I say. “It’s weird, because she’s a devout Christian, and as I say, we haven’t had sex yet, and you’d think that I’d be all over getting married, so I can get laid, but I don’t know.” I say, wondering why in the hell I’m sharing so much with a total stranger. I’ve heard of this. Where it’s more comfortable laying out all your cards to someone you’ve never met if the connection is right.

“Maybe something in your mind is telling you that you need to…err…take her for a spin first.” She says, placing a pile of drinks on a circular platter and handing it to the waitress. Nobody is coming up to the bar. They’re all at the stage, just giving their drink orders to the waitress. “I’d never marry anyone unless I’d slept with him first. That’s just…well…in my opinion…that’s bad business. It’s like a sample at a grocery store, honey. I never buy anything unless I can try it first.”

“Maybe you’re right.” I say.

“Y’all want something to drink, baby?” she offers, and I get the feeling that she calls everyone baby or doll or something, just like my mama.

“Don’t laugh, but can I have a glass of water?”

She smiles. “I’d never laugh at you, darlin’. Especially for a glass of water. Frankly, everyone in here could use a glass, if you ask me.” She grabs a clean glass off the counter and fills it under the spout at the sink. When she hands it to me, I nod my thanks. “So, where do you think she is? How come y’all can’t get in touch?”

“Well, I haven’t spoken to her in about a week or so. She said something about going away for a vacation, but she wasn’t sure if she could book it or not. I get the feeling she found something and left in a hurry, just to catch the deal, you know what I mean?”

“Sure, I do, sweetheart. But are you still heading home if she’s not going to be around? Where would you stay?”

“Well, I couldn’t stay with her, anyway, on account of her folks griping about it. So I’d have to head back to the ranch.”

“Y’all aren’t allowed to stay with her? She doesn’t still live with her folks, does she?”

“Oh, no, no…” I say, waving my hand. “Her folks just don’t like her to…you know…have relations with me. So, therefore, staying with her is out of the question.”

“But she’s a grown adult, isn’t she? How come her folks have say?”

I scoff. “Oh, believe me, they do.”

“Maybe that’s what’s stopping y’all from tying the knot with her.” Kerry-Ann states. “Maybe y’all are afraid that her folks will always have say.”

I consider that for a moment, as she takes another drink order from the waitress, and starts to fill it. I nod. “You know, I think you’re right.”

She looks at me as she makes what looks like a martini. What guy orders a martini? “That maybe her folks will always have say, and that might put a wrench in your marriage, should that ever happen?”

I look up at her as if the light just came on. “Yeah. I think that’s exactly it.”

“Well, it’s valid, Carson. Y’all have been together two years and she’s holding off on sleeping with the man she loves on account of pleasing her folks. No offence, but either she’s a little bit twisted, or she doesn’t love you enough to go through with it.” She scoffs a laugh. “Or she’s got Don Juan waiting for her, hiding in her closet.”

My eyes widen.

She lifts a hand in defence. “Sorry. Too far. That was a joke.”

I place a hand on my chest. “Jesus Christ.” I try to smile, and then I notice that when she smiles, I smile, too.

“Really, it was a joke.” She says, rubbing my arm. It feels so nice. “Now, you need to go home and talk to her about this. That’s the only way, Carson. If you’ve been together for two years, I’m sure that you’ve had your share of strife, already, and not just when y’all told her you were coming out here.”

“Actually, that’s one of the reasons why I’ve stayed with her, Kerry-Ann.” I state. “We’ve never even had a fight before.”

Her grin changes to a ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’ expression. “Now that there’s trouble, Carson. Y’all ain’t never had a fight, then y’all ain’t never discussed anything properly.”

“How do you mean?”

“Did your folks fight?”

I nod. “Yeah. Not a lot, but they did. Always managed to get through it, though.”

“There you go. Real couples fight and make up. Work through things. People that don’t fight are holding back. Not being themselves. Not expressing their full opinions.”

“Yeah? Do your folks fight?”

“All the time. It’s part of life.” She pauses, removing her hand from my arm, and it makes me a little bit sad. “If y’all aren’t fighting…there’s something wrong, honey.”

Only one way to find out. And I get the feeling that when I tell Missy what’s on my mind…that it’s going to be a big one.