I just felt the baby move.
I move quickly, too quickly for Graham to stop me, and I’m in front of Cara, her wide, terrified blue eyes on me as she steps out of my reach. I missed it.
I missed my baby move for the first time.
“Cara—”
“Don’t you dare come any closer to me.”
“I can explain.” My gaze drops to her stomach. I’ve had my hands all over her, but every night we’re on the couch I’m touching her, pressing my hand to her belly in hopes I’ll feel the baby move and of course, of course, it happens on this day. When I can’t touch her, when I can’t pull her into my arms without fear of getting a right hook to my jaw. “I’m so sorry, honey. So sorry. Please let me explain last night.”
“Why should I? You didn’t care about letting me explain.”
“I know. I’m a dick. That’s part of what I need to explain.”
“No explanation needed. That was loud and clear.”
I’d smile at her sass if she weren’t so damn angry she might twist off my balls.
Car keys jingle behind me, and then Graham is next to me, pushing me out of the way to get to Cara.
“No bloodshed, you two, these carpets are a pain to keep clean.”
I grunt, because this dude not only has some serious guts, after we got the shitty part out of the way at my office earlier, I also learned he’s hilarious.
Cara could do worse with a friend than Graham, but not sure she could do a whole lot better.
I stand there, watching another man bend down to kiss her cheek, but the entire time Graham is moving toward her, touching her, resting his hand on her belly that I desperately wish was my fucking hand, she’s still gaping at me.
He whispers something in her ear and I can’t hear it, but her eyes flash wide as her jaw sets back to really, really mad, and probably more hurt.
“Pizza should be here soon,” he says when he moves back. “Already paid and tipped so you two have fun. I’m going out for a while.” He grins down at Cara. “And if you’re not here when I get back, I’ll get the key from you some other time.”
“I’ll be here,” she snaps, still staring at me.
My lips twitch but I pull back my grin before it comes out. The hell she will.
“Mm-hmmm.” Graham steps toward me and slaps my shoulder. “Be good to her.”
“I will.” It’s not a promise. It’s a vow.
I’ve got a short fuse and not many manners, but if Cara gives me another shot, I’ll break my neck proving to her that taking a chance on the guy who got her knocked up is the best risk she could ever take.
Cara lets loose a low sound, might be a growl, as she watches Graham walk away and then it’s the two of us, in his small but decently decorated and not too flashy apartment.
I step back out of the hallway, closer to the living room to give her space to walk through. I hadn’t planned on her being in the shower when I got here, but I’m thankful for it. Gave me a few minutes to talk to Graham about her state of mind since he hadn’t seen her all day.
Move slow. She’s not pissed as much as she is hurt.
“Can we talk? Please?”
She chews on her bottom lip and then pops it out, moving past me to a black leather chair that’s facing me. There’s another chair like it on the other side of a round table and a small matching couch.
I move to the couch, close enough I can touch her, but I don’t.
“You talked to Graham?”
I clasp my hands together, elbows on my knees, and face her. “He came and talked to me today. Told me about last night.”
“Of course he did,” she mutters and crosses her arms, collapsing back into the chair.
Her pout is adorable, but I’ve got a long, bumpy road ahead of me and there’s no clear navigation.
“He cares about you, and I know it might not seem like it, but I do too, honey. I’m so damn sorry about last night, about thinking the worst of you, not giving you a chance to explain anything. I should have trusted you enough to not even need an explanation—”
“Yes. You should have.”
The pain in her voice, in the narrowed blue eyes that are stormier than the bright Caribbean Sea, slice right through me. It’s the chin trembling that almost does me in. The way she blinks harshly, I know she’s fighting off tears.
“Cara—”
“Why? Why would you say those things to me? I thought…” She shakes her head again. “I don’t think I can talk to you about this. Not yet. You hurt me.”
“I know. And I will probably hurt you again. I’m human and I’m an idiot sometimes but I swear to you, you give me another chance, you let me make this right, it’ll never happen again.”
“No.” She sniffs and looks at the door to the apartment, avoiding me. “I can’t take that risk with you. Not again.”
“You have to,” I say. “You have to because you love me. And when you love someone, you forgive them, and I want that from you, Cara. I want your love and your forgiveness and I’m so damn sorry I hurt you. I had my head twisted with shit Stella said, I was pissed I hadn’t heard from you, so damn worried about what your parents were saying to you and not having any way to protect you from them, and then I saw you with that drink at the bar, your hands on another man, and I just…I just snapped. It was too much, all at once, me feeling worthless and powerless, and I handled it poorly. I was a complete shit. I know it. But, honey, I’m so sorry, so damn sorry I hurt you like that. And I swear to you, you let me try to make this right, you will never regret it. That I swear to you.”
By the time I’m done, her eyes have lost their fury, replaced with something else, something more blank.
Something hopeless. “Stella said something to you.”
“Yeah, but—”
“She hates me.”
“She doesn’t.” She opens her mouth and I know it’s to argue, because Stella also told me today about the shit she said to Cara. “She doesn’t hate you, she was mad at me. She was jealous.”
“Jealous?” She sounds incredulous. “Of me?”
“No. Yes.” I take a breath. This conversation is getting away from me. I take a chance and I unclasp my hands, reach out and settle one on her knee. She jumps but doesn’t move it away, so I hold her firmly. “Stella’s like my sister, I’ve told you that. Irvin was all she and I had, and she’s married now, has two kids, but it’s always been us, just me and Stella in a different way. It’s not that she hates you, it’s that she wanted to protect me…and she was hurt I didn’t bring you around her. She started thinking you were too good for her, and I was ignoring her and not seeing her kids, and she twisted shit in her head, then put it in yours, and really, fucked it up in my head. She feels like shit for it.”
“She should.”
Damn it. Terror the size of a castle builds inside of me. I don’t know how to fix this if I can’t get her to give me anything.
Several minutes have passed and she hasn’t looked at me. All I can see is her chest rising and falling with every measured breath she takes.
“Graham told me about the tattoo, honey.” She flinches, either at the reminder or the endearment, but it’s something so I keep pushing. “I’m honored, Cara. I’m so damn honored I was the one chosen to put Jimmy’s words on Graham’s skin. He came in today, told me all about it, why you were out with him and not your parents, and I gotta say, I thought your parents were dicks before, but they’re completely off the charts with their maneuvering last night, but Graham is cool. He and I are cool. I’m fucking thrilled I was the one to do his tattoo and I’m glad you saw it. I’m glad you love it.”
Tears spill down her cheeks and she wipes them away when all I want to do is take them from her, and then ensure I never give her a reason to cry again.
“I’m honored you’re falling in love with me, Cara. I’m sorry I took that and fucked it up, but give me a chance. Please.”
She shakes her head. I can feel my chance slipping from my fingers.
“I can’t, Braxton. I’ve got someone else to think about right now, someone more important than either me or you, and last night is a vivid reminder we hardly know each other.”
Fuck that.
“I know I love you.”
She jumps, blinks, and looks at me. “What?” Confusion wrinkles her brow and I all but laugh. “You can’t.”
“I can. I do. I always will. I fell in love with you the first night we were together, Cara. For months I was unable to get you out of my head, wanting to get your number and call you. But then I kept remembering how you ran from me and were embarrassed that you slept with some guy like me. You’re sorry you did that, and I get it, as much as it hurt, and I’m not comparing the two. I’m not, I swear it. But when Stella came to me with all her bullshit and it became my bullshit, that’s what I was thinking. Thinking you were someday going to run off on me again and then when I saw you with Graham, that’s all I could think of…that you’d done it, you found someone your family would approve of, that you’d finally get their approval and your happy family, and I’d just be the guy whose rubber broke inside you one night.”
“Braxton—”
“I know it’s stupid.” I take her hand and squeeze it. “I just want you to know where my head was, but that doesn’t change that I love you. I do love you. Falling in love with you was so damn easy for me I didn’t even realize it was happening.”
“You’re such an idiot,” she says, and she shoves off the couch yanking her hand from mine.
Not exactly the reaction I was hoping to hear.
“What?”
“You!” She spins at me, pointing a circle in my direction. “You’re an idiot! You’re the dumbest man in the world if you think that I would run off with some guy just to make my parents happy. Haven’t I proven to you that I don’t care what they say anymore? Don’t you remember me telling you if they were rude to me I’d leave and come tell you? I went to that dinner last night fully intent on walking away from them forever, because I was so certain of us that they no longer matter. And then…”
She trails off, shaking her head. Her hands go to her hips and she laughs. “God. We’re a disaster.”
“We’re not.” I push off the couch and I walk to her, covering her hands with mine on her hips, and I hold her close, firmly too so she can’t run. “We’re not a disaster, Cara. We’re a work in progress.”
She laughs softly and her forehead collapses onto my chest.
Best fucking feeling in the entire world, having her leaning into me and not shoving me away.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, pressing my lips to her head. “I’m so damn sorry about last night. But I do love you. I’m in love with you. I want you and I want us to start a family and I know we haven’t been together long, but it doesn’t make it wrong either.”
She shakes her head against my chest and I keep talking. “Forgive me. Or at least try to. Come home with me tonight and let me just hold you because last night without you by my side fucking sucked. We’ll get past this. All couples fight and argue, and I guarantee you we’ll do it again, and I’ll be an idiot again and probably an asshole at least a dozen times, but we can get past them too.”
“You sound so sure.”
She might not sound sure, but she pulls her hands from beneath mine and slides them to my back.
God. Her hands on me have never felt so damn good and my shoulders relax for the first time all day.
“I’m sure because I love you, and you love me.”
“I don’t.”
Bullshit. Instead of calling her on it, I yank my phone out of my back pocket, pull up the photos and find the one where she was gazing up at Graham…like she loved him.
Except now I know that’s about the time Graham said she admitted to him she loved me.
I hold the phone down in her line of sight so she can see it.
Now that I know the context, I love the damn photo.
“You look at me like this, and I know from Graham and Stella that right around this time last night, when you were looking up at Graham all doe-eyed and stoned, lips soft and happy, that you were learning about that tattoo and you were telling him you loved me. Proof is all over your face, honey, and it’s beautiful.”
She takes the phone in her hand and pulls it close.
Seconds pass where all I hear is my heartbeat thumping against my chest.
She shakes her head and I grit my teeth together. Arguing her into admitting she loves me might not be the best idea. Handing me my phone back, she drops her hand back to my hip. I slide the phone into my pocket and press my finger to her chin, tilting her head up so I can look her in the eyes.
“I love you, Cara. I love you and I love our baby and I want to be a family. Please, come back home with me.”
She blinks, pretty, beautiful blue eyes shimmering with something much more hopeful than the stormy waters earlier. “Okay. I’ll come back home with you.”
My entire chest collapses with relief and I cup her cheeks, holding her firmly in the palm of my hands. “Do you love me?”
“I do. Please don’t make me regret it.”
“Never.” I take her mouth in mine, sealing my promise with a kiss, and when we’re done, I take my family home where they belong.