‘We’re going back/ said Billy. ‘Hitler’s surrendered to our Beefeaters.’
Finally the train stopped, and there they remained for a whole hour. ‘Why are we waiting?’ sang the whole train, followed by an old First World War favourite, ‘We’re Here Because We’re Here’. An inquisitive matronly cow came to the embankment fence to inspect them.
‘There’s one of Hoppy’s brindled cows,’ said Oscar.
‘And there’s a scarecrow in the field,’ added Nobby.
‘That’s not a scarecrow, Nobby,’ said Billy. ‘That’s the farmer.’
While they waited they made weak jokes to pass the time and to cover up their nervousness about what fate had in store for them. Eventually the train began to move, but oh so slowly.
‘Why do we have to wear these stupid labels, I wonder?’ asked Robin. ‘I feel like a turkey with its weight and price tagged to it.’
‘It’s so people will know who we are,’ said Titch.
‘But we’ve got mouths and we can talk. Why do we need labels?’ asked Oscar.
‘In case we’re killed and need to be identified,’ said Titch gravely.
‘Who’d want to kill us?’ asked Billy.
‘The Germans, of course. That’s why our destination is kept secret,’ answered Titch. ‘They might want to machine-gun the train.’
‘Might be true,’ said Robin. ‘Look at the way that evacuee ship was sunk last year. I forget what it was called.’
‘The City of Benares, said Billy. ‘I read about it in my dad’s paper. Over three hundred were drowned.’
‘Many of the rich people have tried to get their kids out of the big towns,’ said Oscar.
‘That’s what happened to Cash,’ said Nobby. ‘He went to boarding school in the end.’
‘That wasn’t because of the war,’ said Robin. ‘It was because Hoppy beat him in the ring.’
‘Anyroad, if the Germans decide to bomb us,’ said Titch, ‘we’re a sitting duck right at this moment ’cos we’ve stopped again.’
Someone in another compartment started up community singing again, and choruses of‘Ten Green Bottles’ and ‘Ten Men Went to Mow’ rang out across the countryside.
Three hours later, they reached Preston.
‘You know,’ said Billy, ‘I did this journey by bus last year and it took only an hour and a half all the way to Blackpool. Today it’s going to be almost four hours.’
‘I want to go somewhere,’ said Titch, ‘and there’s no toilet on this train.’
‘Pee out of the window,’ suggested Robin.
‘I can’t make my thing reach that high,’ he answered.
‘I’ve got the same problem,’ said Oscar.
‘I’ve got the answer to our prayers,’ said Billy. ‘Do it first in my bucket and then chuck it out of the window. The pee, I mean, not the bucket.’
‘Me first,’ said Titch.
‘Me second,’ said Oscar.
‘For you, Oscar,’ said Billy, ‘it’s threepence. Remember?’
‘I can see you were brought up in Cheetham Hill,’ he said.
There was a loud yell from the compartment behind.
‘Who the hell’s throwing tea out of the window?’ an angry voice enquired.
Titch popped his head out.
‘Well, we haven’t thrown any tea,’ he called truthfully.