| |
Prime hunting ground. That was what this was. This was open savannah and he was the shark. That didn’t quite sound right in Alex’s head but the basic principle was sound. Room full of sweeties and he was the kid with a free pass to the shop.
He grabbed two cups of punch off a passing tray and surveyed his territory. Maidens and princesses as far as the eye could see. Many of them already being squired by men they arrived with, but that was one of the traditional downsides of wedding parties. Everyone dragged along to a plus-one, which made it tricky to work out who was happily married and who was being accompanied by a reluctant cousin they’d bribed into helping them avoid social embarrassment for a weekend.
His eyes settled on a group of women to the left of the door, gathered around the ‘Find the lady’ game. He wandered over. ‘How are you getting on?’
The woman nearest him smiled. ‘They keep losing. They won’t believe me when I tell them it’s a fix.’
Her friend squealed. ‘It’s not a fix. I’m going to get it this time.’
Alex watched the guy’s hands for second. Round and round and round they went. He turned back to the girl who’d talked to him initially. Medium-height, curvy, long red hair hanging in curls down her back. Blue eyes, like Emily. He shut down the thought. Like Emily or not like Emily wasn’t the point. He was indifferent to Emily.
‘So you’re not having a go?’
She shook her head. ‘What’s the point in playing if you know you’re not going to win?’
‘Not much I guess.’ He held out his second cup of punch. ‘For you.’
She raised an eyebrow. ‘For me? Should I be flattered?’
He offered a smile, which he hoped was more sweet than lecherous. ‘I noticed you when I was standing over there.’
He saw her look him over, her eyes pausing for a second on his face. That was fair enough. ‘So you saw me for the first time from over there?’
Alex nodded.
‘And you just had to come over and offer me some free punch?’
He laughed. ‘So it’s not the most extravagant gesture, but I did notice you. That’s gotta count for something?’
‘You would think, wouldn’t you?’
Alex paused for a second. He was striking out. That seemed pretty clear. He wondered what he could work in the way of damage limitation. So she wasn’t into him? That was her prerogative, but she was with a group of five mates. Maybe he could stay sufficiently in favour to ingratiate himself with the group. Keep her talking. That was the key thing. Keep her talking, rather than letting her fade back into her group of friends. ‘So why doesn’t it?’
‘What?’
‘Well noticing you doesn’t seem to be getting me much credit. Why not?’
Her eyes settled on his face again. ‘You really don’t know, do you?’
Alex shook his head.
The girl leant towards him. ‘You don’t recognise me at all.’
He took another look. Hair. Face. Blue eyes like ... well, blue eyes. ‘Should I?’
‘You slept with me three years ago.’
‘Did I?’
The girl nodded. ‘I’m Beatrix.’
Beatrix? Bea? Trix? The name didn’t ring a bell. ‘I’m sorry.’
She shrugged. ‘Don’t be. You were perfectly adequate.’
‘What?’ Alex was outraged. He was more than adequate in that department. His reviews to date had been exemplary.
Beatrix shook her head. ‘You can’t be offended. You don’t even remember me.’
His heart had somewhat gone out of the pursuit, but old habits died hard. ‘And you don’t fancy, you know ... for old times sake?’
Another shake of the head. ‘I’ve got a boyfriend, and also no. Just no.’
‘Right.’ Alex turned to slope away.
‘Wait. Actually, there’s something else.’ Her voice was softer suddenly. She looked serious.
‘What?’
‘I didn’t have your contact details you see, and you know, we didn’t know each other that well, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react, but ...’
Alex felt his stomach tighten. ‘What?’
‘It’s just that after we ... you know ... well I was left with more than the memories, if you know what I mean.’
‘Well you didn’t catch anything from me!’
‘What?’ Her face crumpled in disdain. ‘No! Not that.’ She looked serious again. ‘My son. Our son.’
The room spun around Alex. A son. An actual son. Three years ago. She’d said three years ago. That meant, what? A two year old son. Two and a bit years of a tiny person who was part of him being on the planet without him knowing. He had a son. ‘Really?’
The woman’s face dissolved into laughter. ‘Of course not. We used a condom.’
Alex reeled again. ‘What?’
‘Sorry. I couldn’t resist. I felt like you deserved it.’ She grinned and held out a hand. ‘Even?’
Alex shook her hand. ‘I have to go.’
She nodded. ‘Probably best.’
So no son. Well that was good, wasn’t it? The thing Alex was feeling would almost certainly be relief. No commitments. Nothing anchoring him to anyone. Alex staggered to the side of the room and sat down. He didn’t want a child. He was in no fit state to be a father. He had a job he detested that barely paid enough to make rent to a landlady who didn’t charge him proper rent. A woman who wanted to stay for breakfast was on the outside edge of his ability to commit. He certainly couldn’t be a father. A father was someone who stuck with things, someone who followed through. Alex had never stuck with anything.
All around the room people were making connections. They were here with their families, their lovers, their partners. Alex was alone. At the far side of the room, Helen and Emily were standing together. What a contrast that was. Emily was worse than he was. It wasn’t that she couldn’t stick with things; it was that she didn’t know when to stick and when to let go, and yet he’d offered to stick with her. It was barely twenty-four hours ago that he’d told her he’d be hers if she’d have him. But she wouldn’t have him, and that was that.
‘Mate! Will you volunteer?’ A tall, slender man dressed as some sort of creature of the forest, with a face painted like tree bark, clapped Alex on the shoulder.
‘What?’
‘I need a volunteer.’
Alex nodded. He didn’t have anywhere else to be.
‘Gather round ladies and gentleman. We have a new volunteer.’
A small crowd gathered around them. The costumes, the scent of wildflowers in the air, the punch in Alex’s system – it was all swirling together to make him feel out of control. The tall man leant close to Alex’s ear. ‘Just listen to my voice.’
He did as he was told. He closed his eyes. He pictured the wheel. He watched it spin around and around, and then everything went quiet. The sounds of the party drifted into the distance. Everything around Alex was calm.
‘All right mate.’ The elven man clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Thanks a lot.’
Was that it? He hadn’t done anything. The man wandered away, and the crowd dispersed. Alex blinked a couple of times. What had he been thinking about? Of course. Getting back on the horse. Maybe he’d taken the wrong approach before. Obviously he needed to get over Emily, but maybe jumping back on the same old horse again wasn’t the right way at all. Maybe it was time to do something different. Maybe it was time to make a commitment, but this time he’d do it differently. He’d find someone who deserved it, someone who could make a commitment in return. Helen and Emily standing together. He pulled his eyes away from Emily and onto Helen. Helen. Perfect, enchanting Helen. He would make her his.
He stopped. Maybe he’d just have another cup of punch first.