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Eventually Tania breaks away from Dad. I follow her out of the ballroom and into the foyer. I hang back as one of the guests greets her. It’s all cheek-kisses and bonhomie. If only they knew the truth.
After a minute of chit-chat she makes her excuses and sets off up the stairs. I follow again, but don’t catch up with her until we’re out of sight and earshot of anyone else. If I’m going to keep my dad out of this, everything has to stay between me and her. I wait until she’s at the door to her room. The bridal suite, for goodness sake.
‘I need to talk to you.’
She jumps. ‘Emily? I didn’t see you.’
I walk towards her. It’s like a scene from a film. I picture myself storming past her into the room and laying some truth on her. In reality, she doesn’t move out of the doorway as I walk towards her, so we end up sort of bumping awkwardly against each other for a moment, and both apologising. I kick myself. I shouldn’t be apologising. I’m here to get serious with her.
I jostle my way into the room.
‘What did you want to talk about?’
She sits down on the bed. I decide to stay standing. It feels less friendly, more in control.
‘I know, Tania.’
She looks confused. ‘You know what?’
I take a deep breath. Now I’m here I find I don’t want to think too hard about what I’m doing. It might, I realise, be viewed as being a tiny bit blackmailish. I take another breath. It’s for the greater good. I’m getting my hands dirty so my dad doesn’t get hurt. I’m his gatekeeper. It’s like telling people who phone up for him that he’s out, when really he’s avoiding them. ‘I know the truth about you Tania.’ I swallow hard. ‘Or should I say Tina?’
As soon as I say her name, her whole body stiffens, but she doesn’t reply. That’s fine. I’ve got plenty to say. ‘I found out about you. I know what you did.’
‘What do you want, Emily?’
‘I want you to go. I don’t care what you tell Dad. You don’t have to tell him anything, but you are not marrying him tomorrow. You can disappear, or you can tell him that you need some space, or that it’s all happening too quickly, or that you think you might have feelings for someone else, or you can tell him all those things, so long as you go.’
She lifts her head to look at me. ‘Gosh. Haven’t you thought of a lot of reasons not to get married.’ She stands up. ‘You know nothing Emily. You’re jealous, and you’re immature and I’d like you to get out of my room now please.’
That wasn’t how she was supposed to respond. I’d have expected tears at getting caught out, or anger maybe. She’s icy calm. I suppose that proves me right. She’s clearly not that bothered at having to leave Dad. I stop at the door. ‘Before the morning. I want you gone before morning.’
She looks at me and shakes her head. ‘Emily, I’m going to go back to the party. If you’re sensible you’ll forget that this conversation ever happened.’
She’s unbelievable. She actually acting like I’m the one who’s done something wrong. She stalks past me, and I follow her back along the corridor and down the stairs. ‘I’m serious. If you don’t go I’ll tell Dad everything. I’ve got evidence. You won’t be able to wriggle out of it.’
She glances over her shoulder at me, but doesn’t respond, and she doesn’t look at me again until we reach the door to the ballroom. ‘Emily, your dad’s happy. Try to be happy for him.’
Who is she to be telling me how to behave? I know what she is. I know what she did. She’s the devil. I watch her walk away. A few feet into the party she’s waylaid by one of the performers who’ve been skulking around the place all evening. He grabs her hand and twirls her around to face the small audience of partygoers who have assembled around him. He leans towards her. He’s talking quite softly, close to her ear. I see her close her eyes, and few moments later her head drops forward onto her chest. The guests closer to the action giggle and whisper to one another.
I walk away. One thing stays fizzing round and around in my head. A lot of reasons not to get married, she said. Every time the words come into my mind it feels like there’s a rope tightening around my neck. I need a distraction. I grab myself a cup of punch and look around the room. I let the light and noise and colour wash over me. Whatever else she’s done, Tania can certainly throw a party. It’s like being in another world. I can’t see Dom or Helen anywhere. I scan the room again. I can’t see Alex either. That’s good. I’m a medieval princess at a mask ball. Tonight, nothing is real. Nothing is quite what it seems.