| |
Weddings always featured an awful lot of standing around. After the service, there were drinks and nibbles while the photos were taken. Alex helped himself to a second flute of champagne, and flagged down a waitress with a tray of tiny pastries.
‘What are they?’
‘Red onion and goats’ cheese tartlets.’
Alex winced. Obviously, he could see that they weren’t a full English breakfast, but as an option to soak up his hangover, a gussied up mini-quiche wasn’t going to make the grade. He shrugged. ‘I’ll take the lot.’
He took hold of one side of the tray, and waited for the waitress to let go. ‘You can’t take them all.’
‘I can.’ He tugged the tray out of the girl’s grip. There was a possibility that he was behaving like a jerk. He flashed a smile. ‘Were you one of the evil temptresses handing out punch last night?’
The girl giggled and gave a tiny nod.
‘Then I’m sorry but this is payback. Must have hangover food.’
She smiled back at him. ‘Well if it’s a medical need?’
‘It totally is.’
She was still smiling as she walked away. Alex grinned to himself. Back on the horse.
‘How did you get a whole tray?’ Helen appeared at his elbow, and nicked one of his tartlets.
‘Natural charm.’
‘I doubt it. You smell like death.’
‘Technically I smell like deodorant, sweat, vomit and a battered ego.’
‘What does battered ego smell like?’
Alex gestured at the air around him. ‘Like this.’ He looked around the room. ‘Weddings are weird.’
‘Because of the implied subsuming of the female into the male?’
‘No.’ Alex cast his eyes around the room. ‘Because of all this. It’s all pretence, isn’t it? Pretending that you can promise someone forever. You don’t know, do you? You don’t know what’s going to happen tonight, let alone next year or in ten years? How can you promise that you’ll still love a person in ten years’ time?’
Helen shrugged. ‘You can’t know that you won’t.’
‘But that’s not what getting married says. You’re not saying “There’s a statistical possibility that I could still love you in the future.” You’re saying that you definitely will.’
‘Maybe if you really love them, then it is forever.’
‘Is that how you feel about Dominic?’
Helen doesn’t answer for a second. ‘Yeah, but ...’
‘I thought, if you really loved them there were no buts.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s a different sort of but. But you’re right.’
Alex was surprised. Although, he did say an awful lot of stuff, he must be right some of the time. ‘I am?’
‘I’ve got to stop putting my life on hold. A moment every ten years? It’s stupid, isn’t it? I can’t pay my mortgage, and I’ve reached the point where I’m seriously considering taking out a hit on the woman from the tax credits helpline. It’s not a way to live.’
‘So what are you going to do?’
‘I’m gonna change it.’