When Emily disappeared down the hallway, Heath was glad Harper hadn’t joined her. They needed to talk. He’d kept his composure in front of Emily and hoped he could maintain it when he and Harper were alone.
She moved to once again stare out the window.
Avoiding him?
He didn’t blame her.
Strange that he had to work up the nerve to talk to her. He had a feeling he would risk making her run off to join Emily if he didn’t do this right. Maybe it wasn’t so much working up the nerve to approach but rather to speak the words that had been building inside. To speak his mind. He eased forward until he stood next to her. He took in the trees, the mountain peak rising above them. The spectacular wash of pink and purple.
“There’s nothing quite like a mountain sunset,” he said. Okay, well, that wasn’t exactly what he had planned to say.
“It’s truly stunning.”
His gaze drifted over, and he took in her profile. Red hair spilling over her shoulders and down her back. Soft features, a spattering of freckles—though he couldn’t see those now. “Stunning is right.”
“Don’t you need to go get Evelyn?” she asked.
Again, he got the sense she wanted to be alone. Maybe he should give her space.
“I’m staying with you, Harper. I’m not leaving you. Besides, Evelyn called and said her granddaughter would bring her out here to Circle S. She’ll be spending the night with her grandmother here.”
“That’s awfully generous of Lori.”
“Yes.” Lori was a generous woman. And she was interested, definitely interested in him. Heath would have to be blind and an idiot not to know that. It felt wrong and even misleading to be staying at her home. But with Harper in danger, Heath had accepted Lori’s offer.
Still, Lori was a kind-natured woman and he’d leave it at that. He focused on Harper, a woman for whom he cared deeply. That had never gone away, even though time and distance had kept them apart.
Except a relationship with her wouldn’t go anywhere because she was leaving when this was over. And even if she, by some miracle, decided to stay, Heath might care about her too much. According to his track record, people he cared about got hurt. He didn’t want that for Harper. He knew that, yet she was all he could think about. “Harper . . .”
His voice was too throaty. What was the matter with him? He had to keep it under control.
Harper lifted her face to look at him. The way the low evening light filtered through the window, her amber eyes were pure molten gold. Inside, she was so strong yet vulnerable at the same time. The girl he’d trusted and admired was now the woman he couldn’t stop thinking about.
“That night,” she said. “That night I was there when he was killed. I can’t say I saw the whole thing. If I had, his murderer would have paid for his crimes. It was dark. Momma and Emily had gone to shop for clothes for some party. I was mad at Emily and didn’t want to go. Someone drove up to the house. I thought it was them, but Daddy told me to stay inside. He told me to go to my room and stay there. Then he went outside. Of course, I wasn’t about to stay in my room, so I snuck into Mom and Dad’s room. It faced the front, and from there I listened through the window. I heard a heated exchange. Accusations, maybe. I’ve never remembered the words. From that angle, I could barely see Daddy’s back and nothing more. A shot rang out and Daddy fell. The way he lay. His lifeless eyes. I knew he was dead. And I ran back to my room and hid under the bed.” Harper rubbed her arms.
Heath wanted to take her in his arms. He wanted to say something, but then she might never tell him more. So he waited.
“I should have made my presence known and maybe the murderer would have run away instead of killing him. So not only did I not make a sound, I didn’t even look at his killer. I ran away. I curled in a ball and hid. I whimpered like a coward.”
“You might have been killed along with him otherwise.”
Pain skirted across her features. “Or I could have gotten a look at the killer. My father’s murder was never solved. No justice for him. I couldn’t describe the man who killed him. I could have been in a position to see everything if I had tried harder. Maybe I could have helped solve his crime. I lived with that growing up. Detectives asked me to describe the man and I couldn’t.”
“That’s a pretty heavy burden for a child to carry.” And it seemed like she had carried the burden all the way into adulthood. He wished her mother had not moved her away. He wished he could have been there to help her through—as if he truly could have if given that opportunity.
Her gaze flicked to him for a moment, then she looked out the window again. “Well, you have the whole story now. I didn’t look that night, so in photographing crime scenes, in a sense, I can never look away again. But years of photographing gruesome scene after scene, and always asking why this person? Why that person? Just like when Dad died. Why had I survived? It became too much to bear when I took that last set of evidence photographs. A child had witnessed her father’s murder. It was like my life had come full circle. So I had to take a break. For almost a year, I hadn’t been exposed to crime or violence until I saw him kill that woman. And now Arty too.”
Oh, Harper. Grief and sorrow, along with a good measure of guilt, twisted in his gut at Arty’s senseless death. But he put that all aside for now to focus on Harper. If only he knew what to say. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He saw her blaming herself for Arty’s death. She believed it should have been her. Given what she’d shared of her history—there was no doubt in his mind.
But he had no words for her.
He waited for her to say more, but she was done. Instead, she stared through the window as if mesmerized. Soon they would find themselves staring at their reflections as darkness fell.
They were thirty miles from the area where Harper had witnessed the murder. Where she’d been hiking to search for the missing couple. Still, Heath wasn’t sure standing next to the windows was a good idea.
He pressed a switch on the wall and shades began to lower. Definitely a fancier setup than he had. This was a more upscale kind of guest ranch. Lori had more people working for her too, but she’d kept her home to herself after her husband, Glen, had died.
“What are you doing?” Harper asked.
“Protecting you.”
“I need to see the sky and the trees.” She huffed and left him. He caught up with her as she headed down the stairs and out the door that led to a cozy deck outside. Maybe she wanted to be alone, but he didn’t care. Her safety was his priority. She crossed her arms and stared out into the same woods.
“Are you sure you really want to expose yourself like this? We know this guy can shoot from a distance. I wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s a military-trained sniper, but why tempt fate?”
“I thought you said we were safe here.”
“I hope we are. That said, there’s no reason to take unnecessary risks.”
She shrugged. “I don’t like being a prisoner in the house. Please give me a few minutes, okay? He couldn’t have followed us here. He can’t know where we are yet, even if he eventually finds out.”
Heath felt the same way. He wanted to be outdoors, riding horses. Fishing. Something. He’d love to take Harper riding as well. But he knew that wouldn’t take her mind off what was bothering her. Arty’s death weighed heavy on her, as it did on them all, but Harper especially took it to heart because that bullet had been meant for her.
How could he help her? He dug deep into the past, into his heart. Though he tried not to think about those days, especially his role in things, he’d go there for Harper. Heath thought about how much she’d helped him when they were kids. Having someone to confide in had been such a relief. Sure, he’d had his brothers, but they shared in his grief and he tried to shield them as much as possible.
“Remember when my mom left us?”
“Yes . . .” Her voice sounded raspy. “You were a mess. So distraught. I didn’t know what to do for you. How to help you.”
“But you did.” He remembered that much too clearly. Her hair had been long even back then, and when she’d leaned over, it hung down like a curtain, shiny and red. He remembered that moment. She’d said, “You could ask her to come back, Heath.”
Her suggestion had been a simple request. A good idea. But it had turned to ash. Literally. Heath never blamed Harper for suggesting that he should ask his mom to come back. He couldn’t hold her responsible.
“When she called to check on us, I begged her to come back. Told her that I would keep her safe.” What had he been thinking? He had tried to fix all that had gone wrong in his life. He had thought if he could bring his mother back, then their lives would be better. He couldn’t have been more wrong. And now he’d allowed the sheriff to persuade him that he was the best person to protect Harper.
Was Taggart wrong?
“So, sure, she came back. I don’t think she wanted to leave in the first place, and maybe it was more about scaring some sense into Dad. He’d started drinking too much and became verbally abusive, and then he hit her.”
“She came back to protect you, Heath. You and your brothers.”
“I don’t know. I’ll never know now. She hadn’t been home two days before the fire took the back of the house. I tried to run in to get her, but my father, the fireman, stopped me. He went in after her himself and came out empty-handed. I shouldn’t have trusted him with her life.”
He pulled himself out of the dark place his mind had headed and focused back on Harper in the here and now. He’d meant to help her. Not get distracted in the dark shadows of his past. Seeing Harper like this, what she was putting herself through, brought clarity to the past. He shouldn’t hold himself responsible for what happened.
“Why are you so hard on yourself?” she asked.
“I could ask you the same question.”
“I don’t know . . . I guess I want to do more to help. Not simply document evidence after the damage has been done and someone has been hurt or murdered. I don’t want to see the violence, turn in my photos, and turn away at the end of the day. But I don’t know what more I can do, Heath.”
“I wish I could tell you. I don’t want to suggest that you put yourself in harm’s way to find justice, but I understand why you feel you need to. And I’ll be right here with you through it all.”
He leaned over the railing next to her as they both enjoyed the colorful display of clouds reflecting the setting sun. She was close enough now that he could feel the warmth coming off her. Heath wanted to put his arm around her and comfort her, but his desire went much deeper than simple comfort.
“Heath.” His name from her lips had barely been a whisper and stirred him.
He tilted his head toward her.
A breeze lifted a few strands of her red hair and swept them across her face. Her eyes were soft as she smiled at him. Then she turned to face him completely, still so near.
“Thank you, Heath. It means the world to me that you’re here. I mean, I know it’s your job, but I can’t help but think there’s more to it. Would you be here, Heath, if you weren’t a deputy?”
Her eyes searched for the truth in him. He sensed she wouldn’t have asked the question if she didn’t already know the answer, but she wanted to hear those words from him. Sharing their deepest, darkest moments had brought them closer.
“Heath?” Her smile faltered.
Yes. Oh, yes. “Definitely, I’d be right here.” The words came out much too breathy. Emotions he couldn’t put into words flooded his heart and mind. Warmth thrummed in his gut. He shifted to face her and gently lifted her chin so he could look into her eyes. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Her lips parted slightly. His pulse jumped. The desire to kiss her flooded his soul. Wrong time. Wrong place. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But he ignored his brain. He was only listening to his heart. Her eyes almost seemed luminescent. He saw the longing there. The same longing he felt for her. He heard her sharp intake of breath, felt the emotion pouring from her—the need.
Nothing else mattered except Harper. Her nearness.
The tenderness that had always been between them, though hidden before, now ignited. No power on earth could prevent his mouth from finding hers.
Her soft lips suddenly turned eager. Harper . . .
He breathed in her essence. His hands stroked the thick waves of her hair. He cherished the feel of her and her willing response to him, the overpowering sensations.
Dizzy with the kiss, he struggled to ground himself, but finally he eased away enough to cup her cheeks. If only this moment could last longer.
He couldn’t let her get away. He couldn’t let her go.
“I wish”—he breathed the words against her lips—“I wish that when this is over, you didn’t have to leave. That you could stay here in Jackson Hole.” What was he doing?
Harper edged away from him as if he’d broken the spell with his words. In her eyes, he saw the hope he’d ignited—and the questions.
But Heath was the worst kind of man. He’d once again made a terrible mistake. He’d messed things up.
“I’m so sorry, Heath.” Harper backed away, then rushed into the house.