January 20^th, 2014

2:58 a.m.

Author’s Update

Now that I’ve finally finished Part 3, I feel like I could sleep for a day straight. I might just do that, in fact. As soon as I post this. I don’t have to go school, so why not? I’ll start Part 4 when I wake up.

Anyway, I really hope everyone liked the third part of Dead in Bed. A lot happens in it, and it’s the longest segment yet. As always, feel totally free to tweet @BaileySimms with any questions. You can ask me anything except for what happens next! I can’t give the ending away.

Some of you messaged me asking about “Kyle.” I guess I should stop using quotes and just get used to the pseudonym.

Honestly, things could be better with Kyle. I think I made a mistake.

I know I shouldn’t be writing about this, even if I’m not using our real names, but I don’t have anyone to tell, not even my best friend—for reasons which maybe I’ll try to explain later, but not now. And I don’t think I can stand keeping it all inside and not sharing it with anybody.

So, my dad finally turned our internet back on. I told him I need it for a school project. Luckily he let me write all week without saying anything. As long as he doesn’t see what I’m actually working on, I think I’ll be okay for now. But Kyle didn’t know this. He was so sweet on Friday—he showed up again and parked across the street in case I needed to use his iPad Wi-Fi. It was pretty late when I got his text, almost midnight. But I wasn’t asleep.

I’d been so irritated with my dad, and so sick of being stuck at home all day, and so bored, I kind of climbed out my window to go say hi to Kyle. My doctor would kill me if he knew, but I made it over the sill without hurting myself.

Kyle was really surprised to see me. He definitely didn’t expect it. He was happy, I could tell, but he was worried I’d get in trouble, too. We sat and listened to music for a while.

And then he kissed me. We’d never, ever kissed before. I had so many butterflies in my stomach when he leaned over.

But that’s when I made my mistake. I kind of…gave him a blowjob (I hate that word, but I don’t know what else to call it). I’d never given one before, and I’m almost seventeen. It wasn’t just because I needed to write the scene with Ashley and Bryce Tripp in the coffin and I didn’t really know how, in case you’re thinking that. It wasn’t just, like, research. I really like Kyle. A lot. And after he kissed me, I just wanted something else to happen. I didn’t want to go home. I wanted to make Kyle feel good. I wanted to make him feel at least as good as he makes me feel every time he texts me.

He kept telling me I didn’t have to do it, which kind of bothered me because he must have thought I felt obligated or something. When it was over, he got kind of distant and said he should go. He squeezed my hand. He was so worried that I was going to get in trouble. But…I don’t know. He was just acting weird. Like, not the same Kyle as before.

The worst part is my dad found out he’d been parking outside our house. Thank God he didn’t catch me sneaking out—I’m sure he didn’t because I’d be in so much trouble by now if he’d seen me. But what he did do was call Kyle’s mom and tell her to keep her son from “lurking” around our house. It was so embarrassing.

Anyway. I texted Kyle afterward, and he still hasn’t gotten back to me. That was two nights ago. He probably hates me. I’m really, really scared I ruined everything. I’m sure he thinks I’m a slut. I know I made a really huge mistake. I don’t know why I did it. I’m so, so sorry (I wish Kyle could just read this and see how sorry I am).

I’ve decided the best thing to do is focus on writing Part 4. After I get some sleep, that is. I’m actually really excited about what’s coming up next.

Thanks for reading!

 

xxBailey