Water seeped through Jack Bender’s boots to his toes. His body shivered in his cell, but he did not feel the cold. His soul burned with fire. Hatred and desire like bile in his mouth, he droned:
“Her beauty shines in the sun.
Her wit is sharp as any.
She climbs higher and waits at the top, straining,
Yearning for the earth and the neck that is waiting.
She is released, falling, slicing.
And the earth is cleansed
Of one more, filthy noble.”
“Shut up, I tell ya! Guard! Guard!” The noises of guards came pounding down the dark hallway. Metal slid aside on Bender’s cell door.
“What’s the problem in here, eh? Be quiet!”
Bender’s cellmate answered, “It’s ’im, I tell ya. ’E’s right evil, ’e is, goin’ on ’bout choppin’ off ’eads and the like. I won’ listen to it no more I won’.”
The guards laughed. One of them taunted, “Feelin’ a bit squeamish, are we? Considerin’ all you’ve done, I’d think a little talk of Madame la Guillotine would be refreshing!”
The other prisoner humphed. “Well, it’s not. Make ’im stop, I tell ya, or I might do the honors meself.”
“Don’t you be doing nothing yourself. He’s goin’ to be hanged in a couple o’ weeks anyway. You’ll just have to sit quiet ’til then—we won’t be hearing any more fuss from you.” The guards turned away, and their footsteps pounded down the hall.
Bender spoke then. “Hanged in two weeks.” He broke into a screeching, maniacal laugh. “Two weeks. Two weeks.” Bender stood and raised both fists to the ceiling. “The nobles must be purged. We must wipe out every last stench of them until only the enlightened remain.” He kept his hands raised to the ceiling, and he closed his eyes, facing what would have been heavenward had he been praying. The man who shared his cell shrunk into the corner and pulled his knees to his chest.
Nathaniel smiled, watching his valet prepare three cravats, remembering the valet in Lady Amanda’s flier. How many times had Phillips retied Nathaniel’s own cravat? He turned to Phillips and said, “Thank you, man. For all these years of making me irresistible to the ladies, appropriately responsible to the dukes and earls, and lovable to the matrons. It takes a special talent, and I owe it all to you.”
Phillips paused in the tying of his cravat. He almost smiled and said, “Very good, my lord.”
“Oh, come now, Phillips. An ounce of emotion. I’m sure you have some in there.”
Phillips merely nodded in response. But he knew Phillips was pleased, because his cravat felt comfortable. He could remember many a tight cravat in his younger, less appreciative days. Phillips had been around to see it all: Nathaniel’s reckless youth, his arrogance, and his entitlement. He sighed. “Thank you for putting up with me all these years. I believe I have improved with age, no?”
His trusted valet of ten years paused and looked him in the eye, something Nathaniel had rarely ever seen. Phillips said, “You have become the best of men, my lord.” And his eyes stared into Nathaniel’s in such a way that he felt his own mist over.
He cleared his throat and gripped Phillips on the shoulder. They shared a moment in silence, and then Philips reached for Nathaniel’s tailcoat and helped him into it. Grunting his approval, he brushed it down and smoothed the lines. Nathaniel was ready.
Mrs. Whitehouse, the housekeeper, met him in the hall. She curtsied. “My lord. The duke has arrived and is waiting for you in his study.”
His father? He rarely ventured outside their country estate, preferring the milder weather, fresh air, and quieter life that the country provided.
“Well, what a surprise. I will go to him directly. Perhaps we could have breakfast in there?”
Mrs. Whitehouse nodded. “It is already done, my lord.” She smiled with pride.
“Thank you.” He nodded at her and hurried his steps.
Before his father noticed him, Nathaniel took a moment to scrutinize the duke. No matter how much either of them aged, he still felt like a schoolboy in his father’s presence. He would strive forever to please this man, whom he viewed as one of the greats in the world. The duke looked a bit more fatigued than he had two months ago when Nathaniel had last seen him, but his coloring was healthy, vibrant even. Curious. Why the sudden visit?
Nathaniel cleared his throat. His father stood and Nathaniel embraced him, patting his back. “Father. So wonderful to see you!”
“And you, my son. You look to be in excellent health.”
“And so do you! That country air does wonders.”
The duke returned to his seat. “Everything is going well and as it should be, I presume? I haven’t heard otherwise.”
Nathaniel filled his plate. “Yes, my latest report contains any concerns about the estate, and how they are swiftly dealt with. I have nothing in addition to what you already know.”
The duke nodded. “And what of you, my boy? How are you faring?”
“I am excellent, Father. I am pleased with the estate and how things are going—”
“Not the estate, son. I know the estate is just fine. I want to hear about you. Are you happy? Fulfilled?”
Nathaniel looked at his father curiously for a moment. “You want to know if I am happy?”
The duke burst out laughing. “Is that so difficult to believe? You are my son. Yes, I want to know if you are happy.”
Nathaniel thought for a moment, chuckling. “Well, yes, I am. Very happy, if you must know. And how are you? Are you happy?”
His father laughed anew. “We aren’t discussing me, but yes. I miss your mother of course, but I am happy. Although I admit to a bit of restlessness which accounts for a good portion of the reason I made the journey to London.”
Nathaniel raised his eyebrow. “What is the other portion?”
His father leaned back in his chair and gestured for Nathaniel to begin his meal.
The duke continued. “As I intimated in some of my letters, I have heard through several sources, the Duke of Cumberland included, a number of things which are of great interest to me—none of which, I might add, you have informed me of in our usual correspondence.”
Nathaniel paused his chewing of Cook’s biscuit.
“Tell me about the fair Lady Amanda.”
Nathaniel swallowed the biscuit too soon and felt it slowly and painfully inch down the back of his throat. Swallowing again and drinking some tea, he said, “You already know Lady Amanda. We have been friends with her family for years. I have been spending time getting to know her better this Season.”
“And?”
“And what? That is it.”
“Are you courting the girl? I do enjoy her, and she comes from the best of families. I could not be more pleased if you two married, but you have said nothing about a courtship . . . which gives me pause.”
Nathaniel smiled. “I must admit I am working toward that end. But it is proving a bit . . . difficult.”
The duke burst into laughter again.
Nathaniel couldn’t remember the last time he had been such a source of amusement to his father.
“Women are difficult, son. They don’t view themselves as difficult, mind you. She’ll come around. Her father is sure of it.”
Nathaniel closed his eyes for a moment. He did not have any desire to discuss the intricacies of his and Amanda’s relationship—there were too many facets that he could not disclose, all of them involving life-threatening situations. But he did explain some of his uncertainty. “I am finding it difficult to treat her as she wishes. I hope to protect her, and she views it as coddling, patronizing.”
The duke nodded in understanding. “Your mother was much the same way. I think all women are the same, to one extent or another. They love the feeling of protection a man provides. They want someone strong and capable to lean on when necessary. But they have a fire of independence inside, make no mistake. Some have a larger flame than others. But it burns inside every female heart—I daresay every human heart. And they guard that flame oh so carefully. Feed it, and you will win her forever.”
Nathaniel considered his father’s words. How could he possibly allow Amanda the independence she desired? Her idea of independence stirred and festered in a category all by itself. Different from any other woman’s, he felt sure. An impetuous, headstrong girl who could quite easily find an early grave if not for his interference.
But he shared none of these concerns with his father and merely nodded and agreed to consider how to best guard her flame of independence, which Nathaniel was certain was no small candle. It was much more like the time he had seen a neighbor’s house burn to the ground in a towering, blistering rage.
They finished their breakfast in companionable silence. As they were sipping the last of the tea, the duke said, “What is your engagement for the evening? I find I am seeking a bit of the Season’s entertainment, and I will attend with you.”
Nathaniel tried to keep the shock from his face. “Wonderful. You will reenergize a whole group of matrons who usually hold up the east wall.” Nathaniel chuckled at the thought.
His father grunted. “That is something I could very well avoid.”
“Oh, come now, Father. Receiving admiring looks from a room full of women isn’t all that bad.” Nathaniel raised an eyebrow and quirked his lip.
The duke said, “As you well know. You have turned many a lady’s head, my dear boy, and it’s not just your title they are after.”
Later that evening, as the two of them were sitting in the ducal carriage, approaching the Buckley ball, Nathaniel’s father said, “I certainly hope you have outgrown your open manner with the ladies at these events.” The duke raised his eyebrow, waiting for a response.
Nathaniel cleared his throat. “Perhaps I should explain before we enter. It is not really my doing but . . .” The footman opened the door to their carriage and as Nathaniel stepped out, a group of ladies rushed to greet him, giggling and curtsying, completely blocking his ability to move forward. His father peered around Nathaniel’s back as he was attempting to exit the coach in the very little space provided.
Nathaniel’s father managed to place his cane upon the ground before saying, “Ladies. What is the meaning of this? I have never seen such lack of decorum. Return to your chaperones at once.”
The girls froze, stared at him with open mouths, and, after a moment, remembered to curtsy before scurrying out of sight as quickly as they had come. The duke turned to Nathaniel, ready for an explanation.
Nathaniel merely shrugged and raised his hands. “I am as puzzled and bothered by it as you. I must thank you, Father. I now recognize I have been too obliging. Your direct methods are much more effective.” Nathaniel looked toward the front door. “They may be too afraid to speak to me again, but that might not be so bad.”
His father humphed. “A blessing, to be sure. Who would want a little slip of nonsensical frippery by his side throughout the evening? You need substance, boy, to go along with the beauty! You would coddle a girl like them to the last of her days, and what could she give you in return?”
Nathaniel considered his father’s words, comparing Lady Amanda to these women. He already knew she was a pinnacle higher in his estimation than any of them. So why did he feel so compelled to coddle her? He shook his head. She deserved better.
The duke, perceptive as always, asked, “Thinking of your lady, are you? Is she as beguiling and as frustrating as your face indicates?”
Nathaniel snorted. “You can’t possibly understand the half of it.”
The duke smiled. “Perhaps not. But it will be an entertaining evening. I can see that already.” Gesturing to the front door and the line of carriages behind them, he said, “Shall we enter? Face the foxes?”
Nathaniel pressed his lips into a grim line. “Yes, I’m afraid we must. After you, Your Grace.” Nathaniel bowed to his father.
The duke chuckled and said under his breath, “Coward.”
When they entered, a noticeable pause in conversation spread throughout each group of people as eyes found the duke and his son standing at the head of the ballroom. Nathaniel hid a laugh behind his hand. A wave of fluttering chickens erupted as word of the duke’s presence passed down the east wall of matrons. Nathaniel noticed his father stiffen, frozen to his spot, and he nudged him. “Coming, Your Grace? Not afraid, to be sure?”
The duke stood taller, squinted his eyes at his son, and said, “Come, Nathaniel. We had best be about this.”
Nathaniel laughed and walked deeper into the room at his father’s side.
And then his eyes met Lady Amanda’s. And a tug from across the room drew him to her. He smiled as she stepped toward him also, never breaking their gaze. Urgency, filled with a new and powerful yearning to be by her side, blurred everyone else in the room.
Then the swirling forms of the dancers blocked his view. She jerked back, obviously startled when they nearly bumped into her. The room came back into focus. Between them, two lines of dancers in a fast reel blocked their path. Lord Needley gently pulled Amanda close to him away from the moving couples. Then he presented another woman to her, small, with hair so blonde it looked white. Nathaniel could tell by the way Needley hovered about this new woman that she captured and enticed him. Lady Amanda’s back was to him, but she turned again to catch his eye once more, a lovely flush spreading across her creamy skin before returning her focus to the introduction.
He moved as quickly as he could through the room around the dancers. But his father’s presence proved to be the biggest news of the evening, and they were stopped every few steps. He kept his body turned so Lady Amanda was in his view. At length, they approached her from behind and he enjoyed a boyish excitement to present her to his father.
She curtsied her farewells and searched the room, standing up on her toes to see over the dancers. He suspected she sought him, and his pulse raced. He chuckled while her head swung around to the front door and then moved slowly while she looked through the groups and up the line of dancers, now facing away from him.
Backing up slowly to see better over the tops of the taller people, her soft frame melted into his.
He laughed. “Looking for someone?”
He raised his eyebrow, teasing, when she turned to them, face flushed a deeper red, eyeing him and his father equally.
“Oh, Your Grace! I am so pleased to see you again!” She curtsied deeply and offered her hand to Lord Nathaniel’s father.
He smiled warmly at her and kissed it before placing it on his own arm.
Nathaniel looked from his father to Amanda and back.
Turning her attention to him finally, she raised both eyebrows and said, “Lord Nathaniel.”
He bowed over her other offered hand and kissed it.
“We are enchanted to see you this evening, Lady Amanda. I see you remember my father.”
Amanda beamed. “Of course I remember the Duke of Somerset. He and I are past friends. You may not know this, Lord Nathaniel, but your father suggested that I be the first to ride Horatia.”
Lord Nathaniel’s eyebrows rose to his hairline. “I was not aware of your privilege, no.” He looked again from one to the other of them.
The duke smiled and said, “I see you are wondering how we managed such a thing.”
Lord Nathaniel smirked. “I was indeed, although I do not doubt Lady Amanda’s ability to charm you into submission.”
“Ho ho! Maneuver me to do your bidding, did you?” He grinned at Amanda again, and Nathaniel’s heart warmed at their easy manner with each other.
She said, “I did nothing of the sort, Nathaniel.”
He noticed the slip of his first name, and his heart jumped at the familiarity. His thoughts leapt to future cozy moments in his study. When she too recognized the slip, her eyes flitted to his. He winked, and she continued. “Yes, I was out in the barn the morning after Horatia arrived. It was early, before breakfast. I thought I would be alone yet for another hour at least. I believe we share an affinity for rising early.”
The duke nodded. “Or an affinity for the barn, or both, I believe.”
She nodded. “He saw me there, looking as if I would give anything to ride the new mare, and the next thing I knew, a stable hand was saddling her up.” Amanda reached her other hand over to pat the duke’s arm. “It meant more to me than you probably realize.”
The music for a new dance began. Nathaniel cleared his throat. “Might I have the pleasure?” He offered his hand to Lady Amanda. She looked stunning this evening. Glorious hair framing her face, curves everywhere they should be, her eyes like beacons to his ship. He could not look away. He was physically drawn to her, moored at her side.
“I would be delighted.”
When he recognized a waltz, he thanked whatever stars may have helped his luck this night, and he wrapped one arm around her back, placing her hand in his out to their sides. He pulled her to him as closely as he dared and breathed in deeply her scent of lilac. He closed his eyes in appreciation and felt all the senses in his body wake up on overload. Even his shoulder was tingling from the pressure of her hand resting there. Steady, man.
Her wide eyes were filled with hope. Heaven help him, he would be whatever it was she hoped for. He was lost forever to a pair of stunning sapphire eyes.
As he swirled them around on the ballroom floor, he knew he could never be happy with another woman.
“What is it you hope for, Lady Amanda?” He breathed.
She laughed. “Where did that come from?” She smiled in thought, musing. “What do I hope for?” She looked back up into his eyes and whatever playful answer she had planned was lost. He could see the change as she grew serious. She whispered, “I hope to be able to fly. With you.” She blinked in surprise, probably immediately regretting those last two words, but Nathaniel’s heart sang at the sound. With you. He, Nathaniel, was a part of her hopes.
And joy filled him as he felt it too. He wanted to know all he could about her, to fill his mind with thoughts of her.
He said, “Tell me more about your fliers, Amanda.”
Amanda blushed and appeared almost unsure of herself.
When he saw that insecurity, he mentally chastised himself, knowing he had put it there, his responses to her so unpredictable.
“What do you want to know?”
Nathaniel tilted his head to the side to try to catch her downturned eyes, encouraging her to look back up into his own. “I want to know more about why they are important to you.”
She paused. “So much of what we do in the ton is full of . . . well, nothing. It has no substance or anything of value in it. When I am home, it’s different. We spend time helping the tenants. We help run a school for the children and bring donations to the orphans. But here in London, hours of my day are filled with conversation and activities that amount to essentially nothing.” Nathaniel could tell she wished to use her hands as she spoke. She was flushed, and there was fire in her eyes. Nathaniel liked this side of Lady Amanda most of all.
She said, “My fliers help me to fill my life with something.” She eyed him for a moment, and he felt he was being put to some kind of test. Finally she said, “I wish things in England were different, and I want to be a part of that change.”
Nathaniel nodded. “In what way?” He felt he knew exactly what she was about to say.
“Some of our people,” she said, “no, most of our people here in England have no way to change their immediate circumstances. They cannot become educated. They cannot hope to rise from their poverty, and they are hungry. They cannot own land, and they cannot vote. They have no voice in the laws that are enacted to keep them debased and ineffectual.”
Amanda stopped to take a breath and looked up at him, waiting, he supposed, to hear his thoughts.
Nathaniel fought an inner battle. More than anything at that moment, he wanted to share with her his identity as head of the Liberty Seekers. How much could he reveal of his true nature to her, of his ultimate goals for England? He wanted to applaud her for noticing all of these injustices, for caring enough to try and do something about it. How many women of his acquaintance would attempt something of its like? How many men? His admiration for her grew tenfold in that moment.
Amanda’s shoulders drooped, and she looked down at the floor.
Blast! I waited too long to answer. He gently squeezed her hand and waist to get her attention. “I’m sorry, my dear. I am thinking about all you said, that’s all. I am most pleased to hear you say such things.”
Her eyes rose to meet his, and he stared intently into them, hoping to show more than he felt he could say. “Your words are some of the most important ever spoken, I believe. This is definitely the best conversation I have had in a ballroom with a beautiful woman. You have inspired me to be better, made me wonder for a moment what I could do. Maybe make a few fliers of my own, so to speak.”
She dipped her head with a small laugh.
Nathaniel nearly stopped their dance when tears welled up in Amanda’s eyes. “What have I done? My lady?”
Amanda blinked rapidly and shook her head. One tear made its way in a trail down her cheek. Nathaniel could resist no longer. He tucked her hand in his arm and led her out of the ballroom and down a nearby hall. He reached out and softy wiped the tear from her cheek then handed her his handkerchief.
“Surely the thought of fliers made by me isn’t so terrible now, is it?” he asked.
She laughed and shook her head. “I’m not sure what came over me. And we missed the end of our waltz. I’m sorry.”
Nathaniel held her cheek in his hand. “No harm done. In fact, I quite like our present circumstance much better.” He stepped closer.
She glanced around her and moved nearer, a shy desire in her eyes. She stood on tiptoes to reach him, and he was overcome by his own urgings, heightened by her innocence. His smiling lips moved to cover hers.
Her soft response compelled him to press more insistently, and her small hands tried to pull him closer. He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her against him while his lips moved over hers with greater urgency. Her body molded to his. He focused on her lips, her face, her lips again, and moved his mouth over every part of hers, savoring the delicious feel of their kiss.
They came apart in a daze, unsure why they stopped. Nathaniel couldn’t remember ever feeling so content. Holding Lady Amanda in his arms, forehead touching hers, his heart began to slow, and peace overcame him. “Marry me,” he murmured while they were still touching noses.
A throat cleared behind them. “Yes, that is a good idea, I think, given the circumstances,” Amanda’s father said in an amused voice from behind them.
Nathaniel’s father joined in. “Yes, I quite agree with you, William. They’ve no other choice now, to be sure. Good show, Nathaniel, my boy. Good show.”
Amanda stiffened. She looked up at Nathaniel, her eyes full of accusation. “No other choice? We certainly have plenty of choice, I assure you.” She took two steps back.
Nathaniel moved toward her and kept her in his arms. “Amanda, no. It’s not like that. He was sharing a little jest at our expense.” He turned to his father. “Please, Father, if you would, let Amanda know you were in jest.”
The Duke of Somerset considered Nathaniel for a moment and said, “Well, given your location and the manner in which she was encased in your arms, I’d say your choices are very limited. How’s that?” The dukes smiled at each other and burst into laughter, patting each other on the back.
They turned to walk away, and Amanda’s father called back over his shoulder, “I’ll expect you tomorrow, Nathaniel, to draw up the papers.” And with a few more cuffs on the back and congratulatory remarks, the two men rounded the corner, blessedly out of earshot.
Amanda pulled away and folded her arms.
“Amanda?” Nathaniel reached to hold one of her hands, to untie it from her body.
“So this is how it’s going to be? Forced into marriage? Did you plan this?”
Nathaniel opened his mouth like a fish, at first unable to formulate coherent speech. “Plan this? No! But I can’t say that I mind . . .”
Amanda scowled at him and turned her back.
“Come now, Amanda. Let me do this properly.”
He reached for her again, but she shrugged him off and said, “No! I’m not ready. And not like this. How do you know I even want to marry you?”
He stepped back, stunned by her cutting reply. Does she not want me?
She dodged his arm and ran past him down the hallway, turning the opposite direction of her father—toward the back gardens, if he was not mistaken.
He marched after her. He was going to find out just what she thought. That kiss was unforgettable. He’d felt it. She’d felt it. Hadn’t she? Yes. There was no way she didn’t want him. He felt her response, saw her eyes. She wanted him, at least physically. But what if she didn’t want him, as a person?
He walked blindly past people standing or conversing. He barely took note of their knowing looks or the smirks on their faces. He didn’t pause to think of the scene they were creating: Amanda rushing out, and he following shortly after. He walked without seeing any people at all. He pushed on, hoping to reach her and get some answers.
Once out the doors, leading off the veranda and into the gardens, he broke into a run, searching the area, combing through benches and cozy spots where couples chatted. His eyes flew past one couple and then jerked back when he heard her laugh.
“Oh, Lord Kenworthy!”
He stumbled to a stop. Lady Amanda’s white dress flowed around the baron’s pant leg, as he stepped nearer, his back to Nathaniel. He leaned in, put his arms around her back, and Nathaniel watched as he tilted his head slowly to kiss her.
“Stop that this instant!” Nathaniel shouted, in a full run toward them. He grabbed the baron by the lapels, swung back his fist and landed it right in his eye. The baron toppled to the ground, groaning and holding his face.
“You are mad,” Baron Kenworthy muttered.
Nathaniel ignored him and turned to Amanda, ready to plead with her and take her into his arms. Confusion erupted immediately into Nathaniel’s awareness. Looking back at him in great alarm, eyes as wide as he had ever seen them, was not Amanda, but Miss Clarissa. She stepped back twice before circling around him and running to the baron, who was still lying on a rock path, moaning and holding his face. Nathaniel heard a stick break in the path behind him. He whirled around to see Amanda staring at him, eyes almost as wide as Miss Clarissa’s.
“Are you mad?” she asked.
“Yes! I mean, no. I came to find you. Would you come with me? Through those bushes in there so we can talk?”
Amanda crossed her arms defiantly. “And if I refuse? I have nothing to say to you yet.”
“Yet. What does that mean exactly? If you have something to say, say it.”
Amanda placated. “Nathaniel, not now. Return to the ball. We should both go, dance with others, act as though nothing has happened.”
“How could I possibly do that?” He stopped and noticed Lord Kenworthy and Miss Clarissa staring at them. He grabbed Amanda’s arm and dragged her through the bushes into a more secluded area.
Amanda stumbled a little. “Let go of me.”
Nathaniel whispered, “How can I possibly go on as if nothing has happened? After that kiss? After what our fathers said? We are to be married!”
“Stop it!” she hissed. “I cannot do it this way! Please, just give me some room, time to think.” She reached for his hand. “Go back to the ball, please.”
“Not until I do this the right way.” He got down on one knee.
“Nathaniel, please!”
“Amanda, I have never felt this way about another woman.”
She groaned in frustration.
Nathaniel ignored her. “Would you please do me the great honor of being my wife?”
Amanda looked at him for a moment, closed her eyes, and then shouted, “Why are you doing this?”
“Amanda, answer me. Darling, please.” Nathaniel tried to show all of his love, his pleading, in his expression.
She burst into tears.
Nathaniel jumped up and pulled her into his arms. “Amanda, darling. It’s fine, my dear. We will make everything just as it should be. I’ll take care of you, protect you. You won’t have to worry about another thing.”
“No.” She pushed away.
Nathaniel opened his mouth in amazement. “What?”
“No,” she said.
“No, what?” Nathaniel asked.
She shook her head in exasperation. “No, I will not marry you.”
Nathaniel took in her stance, her clenched fists, her determined face. “You are serious?”
She nodded. “I’m sorry.” And she ran away again, out of the garden and up the path.
He watched her figure along the pathway until she disappeared back inside through a side entrance. He stood frozen to the ground for a few moments. Before he could move one foot in front of the other, Charlie stepped in front of him. He breathed out in relief. “Oh, Charlie, I’m glad it is you.”
But Charlie roared at him, “You imbecile!” and shoved him to the ground.
Nathaniel jumped to his feet, ready to run at Charlie. “What is the matter with you?”
But Charlie held up his fists.
Nathaniel knocked his hands down. “Charlie, put those away.”
Charlie reached out and shoved his chest. “Fight!”
Something snapped inside Nathaniel, all the confusion and frustration he felt for Amanda rising up inside, and he shoved Charlie to the ground.
Breathing deeply, he tried to calm his anger. “Charlie, you do not want to do this. Let’s talk about whatever this is.”
“You talk. I’ll smash you through!” He lunged.
Nathaniel jumped aside and reached to knock Charlie off balance, but Charlie was too quick, and he blocked the effort before doing the same to Nathaniel then saying, “Stop play fighting.”
Nathaniel backed up a step and said, “As you wish.” He began in earnest to try to drive Charlie to the ground. He pounded him. He swung at him again and again. He tried every maneuver he could think of from his boxing instructors over the years, but Charlie avoided or returned them all. Nothing Nathaniel did could break through Charlie’s excellent defense. Finally, breathing heavily, Nathaniel asked, while parrying blows, “Are you going to talk about this?”
“You—are—an—imbecile!”
“Yes, you mentioned that,” Nathaniel said between fast breaths.
“She deserves better than you! You could have married her, you idiot! I have never seen her more upset.”
Nathaniel lowered his arms in shock.
Charlie reached in and connected with his jaw.
“Ahh! Careful, man!”
Charlie thrust two more times with all his might. “Do you think I am parrying for fun? You deserve this!”
“So this is about Amanda?”
Charlie swung at him a few more times, sweating and breathing heavy himself. “Love her.”
“I do!”
“Trust her.”
“I—” But then he hesitated.
Charlie said, “Work beside her.”
“Speak sense, man.”
“Let her fight for freedom.”
“No.”
“Let—her—fight—for—freedom.” With each word, he delivered a blow to Nathaniel’s hands that made his arms shake.
“Charlie, hold off. What do you mean fight? Do you want me to hand her a gun and say, ‘Go shoot some sense into the House of Lords?’”
Charlie stopped and held up his hands, palms out. Nathaniel gratefully lowered his own, but kept his eyes carefully glued to Charlie.
Charlie said, “She wants to be free.”
Nathaniel grimaced. “So I gathered.”
“She wants to change England.”
Nathaniel stared at Charlie. “By herself? She wants to do it herself?”
“She doesn’t mind if you help, but she views it as her cause just as much as you or I. And when you try to control and dominate, she is afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
Charlie waved his hand in the air. “Any number of things: Afraid she won’t be free. Afraid you will lord over her. Afraid that you won’t work together. Afraid she won’t be a part of it. Afraid you don’t want to change England.”
Nathaniel stared at him. “But that’s mad. Of course I want to change England.”
“She doesn’t know that.”
“But you do, so why are we swinging at each other?”
Charlie grimaced and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “You’re a much better pugilist than I imagined.”
“You’re looking at the champion of Jackson’s, two years running.”
Charlie seemed to have calmed down, but Nathaniel was still not amused. “What could I have possibly done that is so terribly wrong? Besides kiss her and do what’s right by proposing?”
“She needs to understand your true motivations and work for freedom.”
“I can’t tell her.”
“Why not?”
“There is too much at stake.” He lowered his voice. “I must conceal my involvement a little longer. Let’s get past the next two weeks, and then I’ll tell her.”
“By then, it may be too late.”
Nathaniel frowned. “It’s the best I can offer. You know as well as I that we must have this rally.” His eyes narrowed, calculating as he stared at Charlie for several minutes. “You love her.”
Charlie’s eyes darkened. “Yes.”
“I should dismiss you from my employ.”
“From which employ?”
Nathaniel studied him a moment longer. What did he do with a man who was technically his stable hand? But who risked his life every day for the Liberty Seekers, likely one of the most devoted to the cause, who had also just shoved his lordship to the ground and tried to pummel him? Most nobles would have him transported to Australia or hung. Nathaniel considered him a moment more and then shrugged and walked past him up the path toward the house. He called back over his shoulder, “We will address this tomorrow morning in my study.”
The first thing Nathaniel saw when he entered the ballroom was Amanda dancing. She laughed hysterically, loudly, almost maniacally. But her dance partner drank it in, puffed up in pride at his ability to entertain. Nathaniel laughed in derision but watched him. The man pulled her closer, and lowered his hand a couple of inches at her waist.
Nathaniel bristled and began to walk in their direction when a young lady stepped in his path. He moved to the left and then the right, dodging her quickly, but she was persistent in her efforts to stand in his way. When she giggled at his frustration, he stopped short and stared.
“Marguerite!” he said. “You have returned.”
She giggled again. “Oui, mon ami. I have returned, and zis is ze welcome I get?” She pouted prettily, and Nathaniel couldn’t help but smile at her.
Amanda’s loud laugh carried to them.
He bowed before Marguerite and asked, “May I have the pleasure of a dance with the beautiful Marguerite?”
“But of course, mon ami. You have but to ask. I am yours.” She traced a finger along the soft skin of her incredibly low neckline.
Nathaniel swallowed and diverted his eyes.
Taking Marguerite in his arms, he led her out for his second waltz of the evening with Amanda’s laughter ringing in his ears. He tried to stay far away from her, but like the siren call to the sailor men, he was powerless, and soon they were waltzing in tandem.
Amanda leaned closer to her partner, so Nathaniel pulled Marguerite near. Amanda laughed yet again, so Nathaniel laughed even louder. Back and forth they went, one engaged more intensely than the other.
Marguerite began to notice early on. She said, “You want to make zis beauty jealous, non?”
Nathaniel grunted. “No.”
But Marguerite’s smile took on a knowing expression.
When the music stopped, small groups of couples remained on the floor, waiting for the call into dinner. Amanda and her partner came to join Nathaniel. Viscount Goderich bowed to Nathaniel. “Lord Nathaniel. Always a pleasure.”
Nathaniel bowed in return. “Viscount Goderich, might I present the Marchioness Marguerite Dupont?”
Viscount Goderich raised his eyebrows in great interest. “Enchanted.” He bowed to kiss her hand and gently pulled her to come stand beside him, where he began to converse with her.
Nathaniel and Amanda were left to stand together. His father approached and cleared his throat, rescuing them from conversation. “Nathaniel. You remember Viscount Robert Castelreagh.”
Nathaniel bowed. “Castelreagh, good to see you. Have you met Lady Amanda Cumberland?”
Viscount Castelreagh bowed over her hand and then turned to Nathaniel. “We have come for a reason. Perhaps you can help us?”
Nathaniel’s eyes sharpened. “But of course. What is it you need?”
Amanda stepped closer.
Castelreagh unfolded two pieces of white paper that looked suspiciously like Amanda’s fliers. “Jenkinsen is furious. He demands we find the source as soon as possible and bring the person before him.”
Nathaniel glanced quickly at her. She was pale, but otherwise captivated by the viscount’s hands.
When he opened up the paper and held it up, Nathaniel sucked in his breath. His teeth clenched as he looked over its contents. It showed a nobleman with a ducal crest on his waistcoat, standing opposite a dirty, disheveled man. Both were gripping a liberty cap between them, and it was tearing down the middle. Across the top were the words, Freedom for all or none.
Nathaniel crumpled the flier in his hands. Dangerous, awful idea. What was Amanda thinking, quoting Jack Bender? The group around them had grown silent, everyone watching his reaction.
Viscount Goderich spoke, and Amanda startled. “Curious that your reaction is much stronger than Castelreagh’s. The second flier is the one that has Lord Liverpool all riled.”
Nathaniel unfolded it, attempting to conceal his trepidation. He nearly stepped backward in alarm. His father’s hand on his arm stayed him, barely. He examined the details, his jaw working and his teeth grinding.
She had drawn an open conveyance, full of corn. Written on the side was, Lord Liverpool’s Collections. And to the side was a young girl, waiflike and hungry, clutching an ear of corn. A nobleman was trying to take it from her hands.
Foolish.
His father nudged him. The eyes of everyone near them focused upon him with great interest. He folded up the flier and cleared his throat, attempting a smile, and said, “Interesting.”
Viscount Goderich snorted. “Interesting? My lord, it is treason.”
Nathaniel steeled his eyes and said, “It is not treason.”
Viscount Castelreagh began to sputter in disagreement.
Nathaniel held up his hand. “Misguided? Yes. Brash? Yes. Willfully inciting? Yes again. But treasonous? No.” He could feel Amanda’s eyes on him. He turned to lock eyes with her, for just a moment, and then he said, “Whoever drew these fliers is obviously young. Perhaps they are playing with things they don’t understand. One can hope that they will be forewarned to stop on this path they are currently treading and seek another, more loyal avenue. Else the authorities step in to do the warning.” Many around them nodded, and there was a murmur of consent.
Viscount Castelreagh grunted. “Well, you can be sure that Jenkinsen does not see it that way. He is determined to stifle this Sparrow fellow. And he suspects the man is nobility—someone here tonight, in fact.”
Nathaniel snorted. “Why would he think that? How could he know anything at all about the Sparrow?”
Castelreagh’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You seem more defensive than usual, and so serious. I would as soon see you with several ladies on your arm than standing here defending the sensibilities of the artist. What do you know about the Sparrow?”
Amanda laughed, her voice more tittering than usual. “Oh, but my dear viscount. He does have two ladies on his arm this evening. You men have but interrupted a great rivalry between myself and the lovely marchioness. We are all aflutter awaiting his decision.”
Nathaniel swallowed his smile. Lady Amanda’s ingenuity would save them all from further interrogation.
Marguerite came to stand beside her. “Oui, my lord. You have made up your mind, non?” She pouted prettily at him.
Nathaniel raised his eyebrow and looked lazily about him. “My flowers, my lovelies. How can I decide between the two of you? Why force such a torturous choice from my lips, when I cannot bear to part with either of you?”
The duke grunted in frustration. “Nathaniel, could you take this conversation somewhere else while the three of us attempt to continue ours?”
Nathaniel shrugged, a large crooked grin spreading slowly across his face. “Ladies, shall we?” He offered one arm to each, and the women giggled and grabbed hold of him as he led them away.
Marguerite whispered, “We have saved you, yes?”
Nathaniel chuckled. “It is not as serious as all that, but yes, in a way—saved from a most tedious discussion at least.”
Marguerite pouted again and said, “Well, mon ami, I must refresh myself. I hope to see you again, when next I am in town.” She leaned up to kiss his cheeks, and then she waved at Amanda before turning down the hallway.
Amanda watched her go. “She is a beauty.”
He pulled her gently closer. “Nothing like the beauty still with me. I am sorry for the way things have turned out. I hope that—”
Amanda hissed, “Oh, stop! What could you mean, denigrating my work like that? Who will pay me any heed now?”
Nathaniel’s eyes widened. “Surely you understand that you have committed treason in the eyes of some very important people? You are involving yourself in things you do not understand.” With Marguerite gone, he hoped to impress upon her the narrowness of their escape.
Amanda’s eyes narrowed. “And you understand them? What could you possibly know about any of this?” They had exited the ballroom and headed down a hallway.
“Do you have any idea who those men are?” Lord Nathaniel tried to soften his exasperation. “They were sent here by Lord Liverpool himself to apprehend the Sparrow and bring him to justice.”
Nathaniel grabbed her by the arms and gently but firmly led her into an alcove off to the side. “Amanda, you have crossed the line, twice. What are you thinking, quoting Bender? Did you want all of his people to reactivate? Freedom for all or none is his watchword. You know that.”
How can I help her understand?
“And Liverpool. You had to name Lord Liverpool? You are calling him out, Amanda! In a very public way, you are challenging our venerable Lord Liverpool.”
They stood nose to nose. Fire lit her eyes, a fury he knew would rise up like the burning inferno he remembered as a child. The counsel from his father came back to him, but he feared he was too late. “Amanda. You are on a dangerous path, and you have pushed it too far.”
Her breath huffed on his face. “Are you finished?”
Nathaniel nodded, disappointed. He really did not want to upset her, but he did hope to reason with her. She put both hands on his chest and pushed him as hard as she could.
When he didn’t move, Amanda threw up her arms and said, “I am happy I just might have been shocking enough to reach Lord Liverpool himself. That was the point! The prime minister himself saw my flier. Why can you not understand how wonderful that is?” She started to stomp away from him, but after three steps, she turned. “Can’t you see that this is bigger than you or me? We are past the time to be careful and considerate. I’m done with your protection and your coddling. And your flirting and all the nothing.” She sighed and held two fingers up to the bridge of her nose. “You would understand if you were anything at all like Red.” She shook her head and walked away.
Nathaniel remained, watching her go. He looked to his right and was not surprised at all to see Charlie walking toward him.
“If I were anything like Red,” he repeated.
Charlie tried to hide his smile.
Nathaniel asked, “What does she know about Red?”
Charlie said, “Well, you could just tell her.”
“Oh, shut up, man.”
Charlie laughed again. “No matter. This will all come together in the end. She’s in love with you. She just doesn’t know it’s you.”
Nathaniel ran his fingers threw his hair and shook his head. “She hates me. And she will hate me all the more when I tell her everything.” He allowed himself a moment more to stare after her. Then he brushed off his sleeves, straightened his waistcoat, and said, “I’m not sure what you are still doing here, but we have work to do, Charlie, and we had best get home to do it.”
Amanda paced her bedchamber. She loved him. Amanda loved Nathaniel. How did she let this happen? How could she fall so hopelessly in love with someone who just would not suit? She could never be happy with him. Most importantly, he would never support her efforts for freedom. What aspirations had he shown to do anything with his life besides flirt with beautiful women? And then he had dismissed her fliers, tried to downplay their meaning in front of the very men she hoped to reach.
So why did she love him so? Her traitorous mind remembered the protective feel of his arms around her, recounted the times he had quite clearly saved her life. Unbidden came his smile, his concern, his sense of humor. She was not opposed to shelter and protection, especially when it came with arms such as his, and lips . . . Oh, stop! Amanda threw a pillow across the room. She had never felt so conflicted.
Tiring, she sat at her dressing table and began to unpin her hair. She stared at her reflection and looked deeply into her own eyes. What do you want, Amanda?
Her head fell into her arms. She wanted Nathaniel. But not the Nathaniel who belittled her, not the man who had just this very night humiliated her. She wanted a Nathaniel who was willing to make a change. She wanted a man who would support and uphold her, not hold her passions in derision. Ideally, she wanted someone she could work with by her side as they made a difference in this world. Red. She wanted a man like Red must be.
Not for the first time, her mind lingered with curiosity on Red. Charlie had let slip one time that he was a gentleman. Someone of her acquaintance? Was he young? Single? She closed her eyes to try to picture Red, and the only image she could conjure up was Nathaniel, challenging her with his eyes. “Oh, Nathaniel.”
She finished brushing through her hair and rang for Molly to help her undress. She shivered a little and moved closer to the fire. She doubted sleep would come easily, but at least she could stay up half the night in her nightclothes and under warm blankets.