It was a scene of bedlam, inmates jostling each other as they crowded into the small space. Andrew Holmes had been the Chaplain at Holloway for over five years but he had never seen so many souls in his modest chapel. The converted workshop was used to hosting congregations of twenty or thirty at best, but there were over twice that many this morning.
‘I was only talking to her yesterday,’ an emotional Noelle was saying, raising her voice to be heard over the din.
‘I know,’ Andrew replied. ‘It’s a terrible shock when someone we know, a friend, is suddenly taken fro—’
‘You don’t get me. I wasn’t saying anything nice to her. I called her a bitch because she wouldn’t take my laundry shift.’
‘And you regret that now?’
‘I don’t know, but still I shouldn’t have said it, should I?’
Andrew smiled tightly and moved on. Noelle was a regular here, though whether she truly believed or just enjoyed the social side of the services was unclear. Certainly her ‘contrition’ for her various misdemeanours was skin-deep. Sold down the line by her dealer boyfriend some years back, Noelle was definitely a woman more sinned against than sinning in her own eyes.
‘Is it true what they are saying about her?’
Andrew was talking to the tearful Maxine, a devout Christian with an unfortunate tendency to kleptomania, but found himself being tugged back by the insistent Noelle.
‘About her getting cut up and that?’
‘Noelle, I’ve other people to deal with. I don’t know any more than yo—’
‘You must know something. You’re staff.’
‘Even so. The chapel is my area of influence.’
‘If you know something, you need to tell us. Don’t be hiding nothing.’
Andrew was struck by the sudden neediness in Noelle’s tone. She was a formidable, impressive woman, standing a good six inches taller than him and tough with it. But today she seemed nervous.
‘Do they know who did it?’ Noelle continued, still clutching his arm. ‘Have they got anyone?’
Andrew now realized that the whole room was listening to their conversation, the inmates searching for some crumbs of reassurance. Flustered, he tugged his arm away from Noelle and smoothed down his surplice. He knew he cut a comical figure in the inmates’ eyes, with his frayed dog collar and bent glasses, but he needed to appear impressive and in control today. For their sakes, if not his own.
‘I promise you that the moment I hear anything you’ll be the first to know,’ he said, gathering himself. ‘I’m aware you’re all concerned for your safety and I understand why.’
Andrew was pleased to see the inmates nodding, gratified perhaps that someone was listening to their concerns.
‘Once we’re finished here, I’ll go directly to the Governor, to try to find out more. In the meantime, I suggest we try to keep calm. I’m sure there will be a thorough investigation and that the culprit will be swiftly identified.’
More nods from the group. Clearly this was what everyone present was hoping for.
‘For now though, I’d like to suggest that we pray for Leah and her family. They will need all the help they can get in the weeks ahead.’
To his surprise, all present now dropped to their knees without fuss or dissent. The call to prayer usually occasioned a partial exodus during services, but not today. So often his duties left him feeling dispirited – it was hard bringing hope to those who had already despaired of life – but now there was a pressing need for him. It was a strange silver lining, but you had to take what you could get in life.
Normally he was a lone warrior in a sea of lost souls, but this morning, for the first time in years, Andrew Holmes felt glad to be alive.