THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE BRIDE

We’ve all been there. The ceremony went as planned: the mother of the groom crying because she’s losing her favourite son, the father of the bride crying because he’s paying. The registry has been signed, the wedding pictures have all been taken, and now here you are in the reception line because your buddy Doug is the groom. In a few seconds you’ll be face to face with the bride and you’ll need to say something. Naturally, you’ll do whatever you think is appropriate, but here are a few comments that have generally not been well received:

• How much did those shoes set you back?
• Well …tonight’s the night (wink).
• You’re the only one of Doug’s girlfriends that had any class.
• Is that dress white, or off-white?
• Do you know if the potatoes are real or instant?
• Tell Doug I cancelled the stripper.
• When you get a chance, I wouldn’t mind a beer.
• I guess Doug’s tests came back negative.
• Mind if I take a boo at the pre-nup?
• That veil really works for you.
• Jeez, I thought Doug was gay.