HOW TO TELL IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM TEENAGER

The other kids come home in an orange school bus with flashing red lights. Your son comes home in a black-and-white car with flashing blue lights.
On Parent-Teacher Night, the teacher is unaware that your son is enrolled.
All of the mail your son receives comes in the form of registered letters.
He says he entered a contest and won a trip to Colombia.
There’s always a bright light burning in the attic and your electricity bill is five thousand dollars a month.
His friends are a lot older than him, and he can only visit them on Sundays between 2 and 4 P.M.
He brought the family car home with no gas in the tank because it leaked out through the bullet holes.
He gave you his class picture. There was a front-on shot and a profile.
You were doing the laundry and found a knife in his sock.
He has a court-appointed lawyer on speed dial.
His friends have rodent nicknames.
During dinner conversations, he pleads the Fifth.
He receives cards on Father’s Day.