Steinbrenner was convicted of perjury and was fined and suspended. He was the most meddlesome owner of all time, second-guessed his managers, coaches, players, and the league. He hired and fired his perennial manager and sparring partner Billy Martin five times. Did everything but put on a uniform and run onto the field. He had winning teams but made paying the most for a team the standard, driving the small markets to distraction. No right-thinking human would root for him. That means you, Yankee fans.
Muggsy was an asshole. To be fair, he lost his family to epidemics and his first wife to a ruptured appendix. He grew up rough and unloved. He did not seek out love later, especially from fans or the league. He cheated and baited umpires and regularly consorted with gamblers. As a player, he was the dirtiest in the league in a time when baseball was never more violent. Grabbing opposing players’ belts to keep them from running, stamping on umpires’ feet, swearing at the fans. As a manager, he screamed at players, fans, league officials, and had a special hatred for umpires and they for him. When he retired, his last act was to file a complaint with the league about a decision. “The main thing,” he said, “is to win.” Ten pennants in three decades. A zillion enemies. Tellingly, after his death, his wife found a list of black players he had wanted on his team.
Billy Martin was a country-music-loving maniac and manager of the Yankees five different times. Made every team win. Made every player leery. Made every reporter scared. He once rabbit-punched his own pitcher while managing the A’s. Died drunk in his pickup truck on an icy road. We think.
Mustachioed and obstreperous, Munson was a main feature of the Bronx Zoo Yankees of the ’70s. He played old-time baseball, blocking the plate and spitting. The Yankees did not want him to fly his private plane, but he did anyway. He crashed. He is shouting “horseshit” from heaven.
Chase was a tall, good-looking, talented hitter and a great fielder, but he spent all his time cheating and thinking of ways to make money doing it. He was allowed to stick around for years and went from team to team as a cancer. He was especially vile in his appraisal of honest players. He knew about the gamblers’ fix in the 1919 World Series and was finally chucked out when he was about done. He was unrepentant. A real black spot on the game. Even counting the owners.
Garvey had a junior high school named after him while he was active. No other player has enjoyed that honor. Handsome and Mr. All-American. Later turned out he had babies with more than eight Women, most of whom he was not married to. So the junior high came in handy.
Hornsby refused to go to the movies ’cause it would hurt his batting eye. Which is bad enough, but he was also a verified racist and hated by teammates and owners alike. Batted .400 three times, managed several teams, and was a supremely honest announcer, as he would openly say whom he did not like. Impossible man. Great hitter.
When Durocher was a rookie on the Murderers’ Row Yankees, Ruth accused him of stealing his watch. He went on to the Gas House Gang Cardinals of the Depression, and on that team of miscreants was so abusive he earned his nickname “The Lip.” Suspended for consorting with criminals. He chased broads and traveled with several trunks of tailor-made clothes. A real old-fashioned loudmouth. “Nice guys finish last” is his baseball epitaph. He gave Willie Mays his chance and put down a racist insurrection when he managed Brooklyn. He did not finish last.
Reggie had his own candy bar—the “Reggie” bar—hit three consecutive home runs on three pitches in the 1977 World Series, and was a great slugger but holds the record for striking out. He called himself “the straw that stirs the drink” and his manager Billy Martin called him “a born liar.” Interfered wildly and hipped a ball into the outfield and got away with it in the 1978 series. It took years for baseball to let him even hang around after he retired.
“The Georgia Peach” was a sociopath with uncontrollable anger issues who regularly beat up teammates, fans, and black people. Carried a gun and supposedly sharpened his spikes so he could cut players when stealing. Liked to drag bunt down the first base line so he could spike pitchers. The one player we can all agree was ferocious. “[Baseball] is no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out,” said Ty. Truly a bad apple. Definitely a bad peach.
Go ahead and boo and sneer, and jeer and yelp, and whine and wheedle. He could drive a ball anyone else in history would have hit foul for a screaming line drive home run and then stand back and marvel at his creation like Rembrandt watching his masterpiece dry. Best hitter ever. Most controversial player ever. Well, he did what he was asked to do. In twenty years, history will bear The Smartest Book out.
He will always be Charlie Hustle. But because he was also a gambler, he is banned for life. Unspeakable hairdo. Total winner.
Wynn threw at guys’ heads when they did not wear helmets. Someone said to him, “You’d put your own grandmother on her ass if she tried to dig in against you.” Early responded, “Grandma was a pretty good hitter.”
Not only would Gibson not speak with the players on the opposing team, he would not speak to his own teammates on the days he started. Played for a time on the Harlem Globetrotters barnstorming team. Hated it because they clowned and didn’t try to win.
Mays threw sidearm and also at guys’ heads. Playing the Indians, Ray Chapman was up and crowding the plate. Mays unleashed one and hit Chapman on the temple. The ball made a such a loud noise Mays thought it hit the bat, and it came back so hard he fielded it and threw to first. Chapman was unconscious and later died. The only fatality caused on the field in Major League history. Mays did not show remorse.
Goose Gossage threw hard. Up and in, baby. Duck or be killed.
Wore giant Coke-bottle-lens glasses. Threw as fast as hell. Would come out of the bullpen and throw the first warm-up pitch over the catchers’ head. Hitters hated him. Drank like an alcoholic fish. Gave an umpire the choke sign during the World Series on TV. Got sober but left a wild legend.
Hate the designated hitter and interleague play, ads on the video screens, crappy loud music, and John Kruk on ESPN. Oh, and jet flyovers.